@Lotusflower congrats on 200 days cocaine free 
@JazzyS thank you 
@Lighter congrats on 30 days plants are a great way to celebrate! 
@Chevy55 thatās such a good thing to acknowledge, that you were able to offer assistance to your Son because of your sobriety congrats on your great numbers too your home gym looks incredible! 
@Rookie Allergies suck 
I do hope youāre not sick though 
I also hope you were able to get some sleep 
@john_connor1337 your working-out story is inspiring I also have about 100lbs to lose, and desperately need to start going back to the gym and swimming.
@SobrietyForMe congrats on 3 weeks
@Mno Iām glad youāre feeling better I hope your last shift went okay. Enjoy your well deserved time off 
@MrsOdh I love everything you do for your children 
š©µ thatās a lot of Cranes! I also love your addition to your mantra 
@JennyH what a wonderful birthday gift to yourself 
congrats on your week and happy birthday 
@KellyKelly sober smiles are the best smiles 
congrats on 2 years 
@Jimz congrats on another first
@Seizetheday congrats on 90 days
@Charlie_C congrats on 3 weeks
@Mindofsobermike youāre presence with your girls is worth more than you think š©µ
@JennyH happy birthday if you need to party in your bed then you can do just that
@maxwell animals and plants will all appreciate your love and care 
š©µ Iām sorry about your Son and his family that sucks but congrats on 90 days and your new PB wow just seen your next post, thatās an amazing collection of butt plants! 
@MeSober congrats on your week
@FAE1 congrats on your continued sobriety
@Jasty2 congrats on 200 days SAF and the sale and your offer being accepted feel better soon š©µ
1329 days no alcohol.
794 days no cocaine.
309 days no vape.
54 days no binge-eating.
30 days no energy drinks.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
So I did visit with family yesterday for Easter. Regrettably I was pressured into joining them in eating a Chinese takeaway, so Iāve had to reset my takeaways (57 days) and sugar (56 days) counters (I also had a piece of banana fritter, and a glass of coca-cola with sugar in), but it wasnāt a binge because I had a ānormalā portion of food and I felt in control whilst eating, because I was eating in front of people, so Iām happy to have one counter still intact.
I managed to resist eating any chocolate or sweets (candy), despite being offered multiple times. It is very hard to resist but Iām glad I practiced some self-restraint.
The visit was nice though, I got to play with my eldest niece for a little while and she gave me a hug when I had to leave bcuz it was getting dark (I canāt see when itās dark and other cars are coming towards me with their lights on, due to Astigmatism), and I also got to hold my baby niece for a short while before the food arrived, and she didnāt cry this time so that made my day.
A nice weekend.
I hope you all had wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
@IamThechange congrats on 4 months
@Whereswaldo congrats on 2 weeks
Itās absolutely toxic, and has been for years. Iāve tried to end it nicely without any feelings hurt. But he just refused to let me do it.
He Just wrote another email,stating that he wanted some money back that I borrowed a long time ago. Back then he said he didnāt need to get them back. So I responded not so nicely that it was a low even for him to make me answer at least one of his emailās.
Kindly said that he should send me his bank account number and Iāll Transfer the money when I get my unemployment insurance check at the end of this month.
Proceed with that I expect nothing less from him that heāll respect my boundaries and leave me alone until then,and after that. Because last time we talked we agreed about no contact since I make him nervous and or anxious. That I have no interest to keep up any kind of relationship or contact in any way,since itās not good for either one of us.
And that he should stop spamming me with emails.
Hopefully he get the point this time.
I feel bad for not being nice and friendly this time around,but honestly Iāve reached that point when I stopped caring if he get hurts or not.
Sounds rough but after that last email I didnāt see any other way out.
Thank you so much for all of your support and kind words 
x
Hey! I read that and felt it really deeply. Stay strong - Usually the money drop is just a last ditch attempt at keeping contact. I kinda get it ā¦ thereās a woman who Iāve been pursuing for a while now and sheās not been in a great place herself. Iāve given her thousands of pounds the last few months and when sheās in a bad place, she goes quiet and ghosts. Itās not just money though, itās hundreds of hours of hearing her talk with very little consideration for me and my worldā¦ In my alcoholic mind, I get to a place where āIāve provided all this for you, been here through all this shit time youāve had and you canāt even be bothered to respond to a message?ā And when the ghosting continues and Iāve gotten to my wits end, itāll be āhereās my bank details, send the fucking money backā ā¦ but once Iāve calmed down and gotten over being butthurt, Iām able to realise sheās just not in a good place. I donāt actually care for the money, Iām happy it helped her and I really want her to get better but the level of frustration I get to is mad.
It cannot be nice being on the other end of it and I really have to read stories like yours to remember that no matter what, I cannot control how people are.
Sometimes people canāt react properly for whatever reasons. I have a friend with a mental illness. He sometimes gets himself in a situation where he thinks he is healed, stops taking his meds, and spirals out of control. When he has one of those episodes I know I cannot do anything. I just block him in my messengers and email until this passes. As @DresdenLaPage wrote: You cannot control other peopleās decisions or behaviours.
Thank you for your input and perspective here. Itās always good to hear how other people think. Sometimes itās hard to see other nuances when youāre in the middle of something.
He didnāt respond to that providing me with his bank details. So I donāt know
how heās thinking. I didnāt borrow much, and I absolutely had the intention of paying back. But havenāt been in a hurry about it since he said he didnāt need them. Apparently he does now, or as you say he grabs every straw to keep contact despite us agreeing not to.
I do get his perspective as well, weāve been friends for about 20 years. But the last yearās havenāt been good for either one of us. Constant Fighting, Constant misunderstanding, him constantly trying to convince me that heās a better choice than my husband (Iāve been married 15 years)
And his girlfriend not knowing that we have contact at all, because sheās jealous.
I donāt want it, and I donāt want that constant chaos. Unfortunately he refuse to accept that.
Regarding you and that lady though, I probably wouldnāt have kept that relationship up either. It seems very much one sided, and almost a little like sheās using you, if sheās just borrowing money, venting and ghosting. Unless youāve agreed on something else.
Thanks Steve, I appreciate your thoughts and insights. Iām going to be aware of the potential and ensure I try and stay on the right side of the line, lol. Iām giving myself occasional cheat and rest days, so Iāll take that as a good sign.
As for ramble. Itās all I do I thinkā¦ 
Thanks - will check them out ! I donāt particular like the Alan Carr one but same idea
Thanks Sophia,
I think like you, when not drinking my energy seems boundless. Spent the first two years renovating this house on the Atlantic from top to bottom. Once done that, I switched focus onto gardens and yard and rebuilt stone wall on water and re topsoiled entire yard, planted new seed and made many many gardensā¦ once all around here was to the point of maintenance, I started a small landscape business with wife and Iā¦ now itās workouts and healthy living.
I try and balance it all and not go too overboard, but ensure I am moving.
I appreciate your thoughts and will make sure I stay aware and try and implement moderation as well as I can.
We did. Of course it goes a little deeper but sheās very much been stuck in a rut with nowhere else to turn to. After the last time I helped her out, I told her she needs to get her bloody life together because Iām not going to keep watching her fester and finance it. Itās been going on a few months and she seems to have finally done something about it but itās not been easy for her. Sheās had it rough at the beginning of the year so I just gotta let her do her thing.
If youāve been married for 15 years, this guy isnāt just crossing your boundaries, heās massively disrespecting your husband. God he sounds awful.
Day 31
Iām bewildered today. Foggy. It might lift, it might not. All I need to do is make sure I donāt pick up today. Take the pressure off. I will get better. Grab another coffee and see what I do or donāt do. Enjoy your days; much love
Hey James my friend,
Thanks for the thoughts, and I will ensure I work in balance and limits
Fortunately I guess I do have alternative options of an injury were to transpire.
I do love hiking immensely, it was my passion for my last 5+ years in BC before moving here, prior to that I was quite into biking and had done a few 100km plus races as well as commute to office a couple/few times per week when it was 25lm each wayā¦ when office moved closer to house, I began walking to and from a few times per week of 13km each way.
I have my commuter road bike and mountain bike in being serviced currently as I wish to do some more biking this year as well.
So, I guess I am thinking of diversifying my workouts and suspect gym will start falling off a bit once summer comes and I begin my landscape business againā¦
Just wanted perspective I guess to ensure I stay out of the zone where it becomes too hyper focused. I needed this convo to make sure my head is in straight for this journey so thanks for your thoughtful response man.
Thanks Ami, my sweet friend.
I am hard on myself, as I always expect I can do more.
Be kinder, be more helpful, be more focused on improving things.
I need to remember to implement all those to myself as well but itās definitely not natural for me to do. Pushing to go further and to accomplish more has always been my focus, even in drink, I held a high standard as to what I needed to deliver for family, friends, communityā¦
Thanks for your words, I do appreciate you immensely
Day 58.
Made it to the sea this weekend. I love the sea, and the coast line, and well, any body of water reallyā¦lakes, rivers, ponds, a glass of water 
. I feel a very strong connection to water. I grew up in Cornwall, right next to the sea. And I miss it all the time, so I am super happy to see it when I can. This is a piccie of Bigbury in Devon. We spent the night in Plymouth (also Devon) on the way to pick up my mum, who still lives in Cornwall. It felt good to make the most of the long weekend.
The last two weeks have been crazy. I was sent to the Ivory Coast on a press trip last week. Wow, what an eye- and mind-opening place. So much beauty, long stretches of tropical coast and also thick dense jungle enveloping everything. So glad I got the opportunity, as itās not somewhere I would have typically considered going on holiday.
Today we will make some good food and take it easy. Happy Easter everyone! X
62 days AF yeahj 
Feeling quite good. Had some dangerous thoughts yesterday, not a craving, but thoughts of drinking wine would be okay, as I am doing good. Thoughts that are giving permission to drink, fuck off. Drinking will bring back depression and weakness.
Got a bit back into yoga practice this weekend, paused for like 6 weeks. It was nice. And somehow different. Enjoyed meeting myself.
Looking forward to a swim tonight after pausing 3 days as I was at our house far out there lol. Sleeping good there always. Enjoying socializing with mom and had lot of fun with 11yo niece. She is just crazy. I drove her back home in the evening and she was singing and dancing (seated and fastened seatbell of course lol) her heart out in my car for 20 minutes. Hugs always included. Sweetest girl 
Tomorrow the study / education goes on 
Love you guys!
Hopefully it lifts today for you Marie. If not perhaps a self care indulgence day. Read, hot drinks, blanket, or some tubeā¦ whatever it is, just focus on you and your healing 
Well, itās a beautiful Day 87 AF
Lots of options for the day, but none of which will happen unless I get out of this comfy chair, with a beauty view and begin.
Wishing everyone of our TS family a fantastic sober day!
Hey all, checking in on day 1387. I hope everybody has a good one!