Day 282. Weather still mixed. I finished all the flat packs I had to build for the apartment last week. Feels good to have them all sorted.Plannin g our holiday next. Probably not going away till Sept or maybe next jan/Feb. ( I need to pay off all the costs of the new furniture before we go anywhere)
My daughter didn’t message me at Easter but my son did which was good
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 34
Going to change my daily mantra to exactly that. Because to be honest, nowdays I am actually happy most of the time. So it feels more real.
April fool’s day today. Always disliked this day, Never understood why people want to play trick on each other and make their friends sad.
So no April fool’s jokes, or pranks here. I’ve also reminded the kids to not trust anyone or anything today.
Besides that I’ve started to get back to my exercise routine for real, and is making more changes to my diet. No cheating this time.
I’ve gained 10 pounds this months that I’ve been drinking, not happy about it. Really looking forward to get my own body back and fit into my clothes again.
Also have a new plan for the garden, it’s going to take a lot of work but will probably be cheaper than the original plan with the patio.
Ma talked about selling our house this Easter so we’re going to have a serious talk with her before we put any more money into it. To see what her plan really is. If she wants to sell like next year when she’s going to retire, or if she has a plan about keeping it for like ten years and hoping that we’ll buy it. Or whatever it might be.
My husband is also doing another x-ray for his back and hip on Thursday. He’s gotten a new doctor, who wants to check everything the last doctor didn’t bother to do. Hopefully we’ll get to know what’s really wrong and if there’s something they actually can do.
If it is like he thought on the last visit, he’ll only get worse, and there’ll be no point for us to keep or buy the house. Currently my husband can Only be on the ground floor, he can’t use any stairs to get to the other floors in the house.
Normally I would be sad, upset or worried about it. But I’m not. I’m at peace with whatever the outcome of everything will be.
My former best friend have also kept spamming me from another email adress this Easter. Says he misses me, wants me to come back, wants us to connect again. We broke contact a few months ago because I couldn’t stand all the constant chaos, arguing and his idea about that I should choose him instead of my husband.
After that I did one try to reconnect, and he said that I made him constantly nervous,and that he almost panicked by seeing my name come up on Instagram. I said in that case we most definitely shouldn’t be friends. Wished him good luck in life and blocked him everywhere.
He tried to send a few emails after that. I didn’t respond, and this holiday he totally spammed me. Still haven’t responded. I’m very much fine without him, I don’t need that stress or worrying in my life.
Feels a bit mean, we’ve been friends over 20 years. But to be honest, I’ve never felt this calm and at peace with the world ever before. So I won’t let him break that.
Wishing you all a happy Monday, don’t forget that it’s April’s fools.
Love y’all 
Eating healthy and exercise is good for you. Just like with everything else, it’s good in moderation.
In my opinion,If it becomes and obsession that goes way above everything else, when it starts to be the only thing your care about. When it takes over everything else then you might need to start thinking about of you replace one addiction with another.
Initially that doesn’t have to be a bad thing either, of you don’t hurt anyone. A lot of us have done the same thing. Replaced alcohol or any doc with sweets, became a little obsessed with an all over health lifestyle.
Wanted to do it all at once. Personally I have way to much energy when I’m not drinking it usually ends up in big house renovation or garden fixing projects 
I’m sure you’ll do just fine, as long as you’re aware of what you’re doing and don’t push yourself to hard. Rest is just as important as everything else.
1759
I’m in a bit of a hurry as I slept in on my first day of vacation (yay!) and we’re back to over a 100 posts a day on this thread so quite some stuff to catch up after 24 hours of absence. And I’m expected to show up at my sister’s in 90 minutes time for Easter brunch (it’s Easter on Monday here as well). Luckily she lives only a ten minutes bike ride from me.
Anyway. It’s good to see you all, working on a better future for yourselves. And doing it together. It can’t be done alone. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@JennyH Happy sober 43rd dear Jenny! Let’s celebrate it here! 
@FAE1 Thanks for checking in and congrats on 819 days!
@Jasty2 Huge congrats on 200 days my friend! Awesome work.
@Bones_80 Glad to see you Ian. Congrats on your days and have a good one friend.
@MrsOdh April fool’s not my day either Sophia. Always happy with sobriety though. Love you 
That’s such a lovely image. Put a big smile on my face. Enjoy Laura.
@MrsOdh Do whatever you need about that friend. I blocked contact with my best childhood friend some years ago, after she had become an endless nuisance in my life. If it’s toxic, cut it. You already did communicate your needs clearly, and he does not seem to respect your boundaries.
@Bones_80 Did you per chance read the book and can compare?
@MrFantastik Hope your getting some down time soon.
@Just_Laura I miss Śmigus-dyngus. My grandma used to wake us up sprinkling water on our faces on Easter Monday.
@Jasty2 Get well soon. Give yourself some time 
@Chevy55 One thing I consider in these kind of situations is: Am I trying to control life a bit too much? Addiction is about trying to ‘solve and control life’ with a substance and behaviour. Recovery is the acceptance that I can’t, the surrender to life, and connection to all parts of it, the pleasant and the unpleasant ones.
131 sugar
29 UPF
2 gluten
2 dairy
2 overeating/binge
I’m giving myself a pass for yesterday’s hunger episodes. For today I want to be more attuned to my satiety signals and whatever my body wants to tell me. Goal for today: Become a body whisperer 
Easter Monday 
is still a holiday around here. I’m taking it easy. Want to do a longer walk or bike ride after breakfast. A nap after lunch maybe 
And definitely Yoga in the afternoon. These are my very extensive plans for today.
Enjoy your day in peace, kindness and freedom friends 
Morning all! Day 18 and slept in past 9. Not sure what is going on with my body clock… some days I’m awake crazy early and others my alarm wakes me. Back to work tomorrow so that alarm will be EARLY. Either way, waking up sober never gets old.
Hosted extended family for lunch yesterday. There was wine but I noticed that no one drank very much. A little left over at the end which went down the drain because whilst I don’t want to drink it I don’t need the temptation. I had a 10 second pang of “a drink would be nice” before my mind shut that down on its own. I hate to bang on about it but “this naked mind” really has altered my unconscious mind and turned alcohol into something to be avoided.
Taking the kids out to a country park this morning because it’s almost sunny. Have a wonderful day everyone
Checking in after a longer break… Day 94, still sober.
Whole family was here on Easter, 12 people for brunch, a nice long walk and barbeque in the evening. I’m super lucky because 10 of these people live AF as well.
Morning all, checking in on Day 8. Thank you all so much for the messages and support. You are all wonderful
I am feeling slightly better and the sun is shining so will try and get out. I don’t think I have the stamina for a walk, but a nice lunch in countryside surroundings sounds perfect. I have missed nature while stuck in bed.
@MeSober and @john_connor1337 can I join your sober train? We are all on the same numbers by the sound of it 
Wow that was fast Joe, congratulations on the sale and purchase. Also a big congrats on the 200 SAF, that’s impressive man. Way to have your shit together sir.
I love how you know even things are off and focus on the work you need to do on your sobriety is your automatic response. You seem to have an intimate understanding of your process. Good for you!
Hope the cold passes by quickly, so much on the go may be wearing you out a bit.
Take care man
Good morning everyone! Checking in on day 122 days or as my counter says 4 months! I’m just so filled with gratitude and proud of my journey so far. Had an awesome day yesterday, I hope everyone else did as well! I wish everyone an amazing day ahead!
and 
@Jasty2 congrats on 200 days and congrats on the sale and purchase of your homes . I hope you feel better soon!
@Chevy55 If your world is revolving around it then it’s too far, I wouldn’t call it an addiction at this point and I do want to say the fact you realize this and asked the question shows a ton of progress my friend. Be kind to yourself, you tend be very hard on yourself and you deserve grace just like the rest of us
I honestly didn’t know anything about this until I went to rehab. It was relapse, after relapse. And it’s not a fun lesson to have to learn. HALT is 100% correct and looking back probably attributed to all my relapses in one way or another. Especially during 60-65 hour work week stints.
Thank you, my friend
One thing I told my wife the other day, was that I’ve been having these feelings at certain times as if I was still drinking. For example, I started having this dread at 6 or 7pm, thinking about how I was going to be feeling like crap and hungover tomorrow… But then I remembered I wasn’t drinking and it made me so relieved. I was also worried about being breathalysed on the road, then remembered I hadn’t drank for nearly 2 weeks… has anyone else felt like this? It’s definitely new to the sobriety attempt.
Been struggling with sleep so picked up a natural anxiety and sleep improver today to see how that goes.
My memory has been awful as well, I don’t know what day we did what or I said what. I would talk about the conversation we had the other day, but then my wife would say it was only that morning! hoping that clears up over the next month. I now have no excuse for a bad memory lol.
Have a great day and week everyone!
@Lotusflower congrats on 200 days cocaine free 
@JazzyS thank you 
@Lighter congrats on 30 days plants are a great way to celebrate! 
@Chevy55 that’s such a good thing to acknowledge, that you were able to offer assistance to your Son because of your sobriety congrats on your great numbers too your home gym looks incredible! 
@Rookie Allergies suck I do hope you’re not sick though 
I also hope you were able to get some sleep 
@john_connor1337 your working-out story is inspiring I also have about 100lbs to lose, and desperately need to start going back to the gym and swimming.
@SobrietyForMe congrats on 3 weeks
@Mno I’m glad you’re feeling better I hope your last shift went okay. Enjoy your well deserved time off 
@MrsOdh I love everything you do for your children 
🩵 that’s a lot of Cranes! I also love your addition to your mantra 
@JennyH what a wonderful birthday gift to yourself 
congrats on your week and happy birthday 
@KellyKelly sober smiles are the best smiles 
congrats on 2 years 
@Jimz congrats on another first
@Seizetheday congrats on 90 days
@Charlie_C congrats on 3 weeks
@Mindofsobermike you’re presence with your girls is worth more than you think 🩵
@JennyH happy birthday if you need to party in your bed then you can do just that
@maxwell animals and plants will all appreciate your love and care 
🩵 I’m sorry about your Son and his family that sucks but congrats on 90 days and your new PB wow just seen your next post, that’s an amazing collection of butt plants! 
@MeSober congrats on your week
@FAE1 congrats on your continued sobriety
@Jasty2 congrats on 200 days SAF and the sale and your offer being accepted feel better soon 🩵
1329 days no alcohol.
794 days no cocaine.
309 days no vape.
54 days no binge-eating.
30 days no energy drinks.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
So I did visit with family yesterday for Easter. Regrettably I was pressured into joining them in eating a Chinese takeaway, so I’ve had to reset my takeaways (57 days) and sugar (56 days) counters (I also had a piece of banana fritter, and a glass of coca-cola with sugar in), but it wasn’t a binge because I had a “normal” portion of food and I felt in control whilst eating, because I was eating in front of people, so I’m happy to have one counter still intact.
I managed to resist eating any chocolate or sweets (candy), despite being offered multiple times. It is very hard to resist but I’m glad I practiced some self-restraint.
The visit was nice though, I got to play with my eldest niece for a little while and she gave me a hug when I had to leave bcuz it was getting dark (I can’t see when it’s dark and other cars are coming towards me with their lights on, due to Astigmatism), and I also got to hold my baby niece for a short while before the food arrived, and she didn’t cry this time so that made my day.
A nice weekend.
I hope you all had wonderful sober weekends.
🩵
It’s absolutely toxic, and has been for years. I’ve tried to end it nicely without any feelings hurt. But he just refused to let me do it.
He Just wrote another email,stating that he wanted some money back that I borrowed a long time ago. Back then he said he didn’t need to get them back. So I responded not so nicely that it was a low even for him to make me answer at least one of his email’s.
Kindly said that he should send me his bank account number and I’ll Transfer the money when I get my unemployment insurance check at the end of this month.
Proceed with that I expect nothing less from him that he’ll respect my boundaries and leave me alone until then,and after that. Because last time we talked we agreed about no contact since I make him nervous and or anxious. That I have no interest to keep up any kind of relationship or contact in any way,since it’s not good for either one of us.
And that he should stop spamming me with emails.
Hopefully he get the point this time.
I feel bad for not being nice and friendly this time around,but honestly I’ve reached that point when I stopped caring if he get hurts or not.
Sounds rough but after that last email I didn’t see any other way out.
Thank you so much for all of your support and kind words x
Hey! I read that and felt it really deeply. Stay strong - Usually the money drop is just a last ditch attempt at keeping contact. I kinda get it … there’s a woman who I’ve been pursuing for a while now and she’s not been in a great place herself. I’ve given her thousands of pounds the last few months and when she’s in a bad place, she goes quiet and ghosts. It’s not just money though, it’s hundreds of hours of hearing her talk with very little consideration for me and my world… In my alcoholic mind, I get to a place where “I’ve provided all this for you, been here through all this shit time you’ve had and you can’t even be bothered to respond to a message?” And when the ghosting continues and I’ve gotten to my wits end, it’ll be “here’s my bank details, send the fucking money back” … but once I’ve calmed down and gotten over being butthurt, I’m able to realise she’s just not in a good place. I don’t actually care for the money, I’m happy it helped her and I really want her to get better but the level of frustration I get to is mad.
It cannot be nice being on the other end of it and I really have to read stories like yours to remember that no matter what, I cannot control how people are.
Sometimes people can’t react properly for whatever reasons. I have a friend with a mental illness. He sometimes gets himself in a situation where he thinks he is healed, stops taking his meds, and spirals out of control. When he has one of those episodes I know I cannot do anything. I just block him in my messengers and email until this passes. As @DresdenLaPage wrote: You cannot control other people’s decisions or behaviours.
