Checking in daily to maintain focus #64

Life in Recovery
2183

Thanks homies! Yeah I’m planning to never go back to cocaine (or as my friends call it: the “cuckcaine” because it “cucks” you by fucking your brain and body while you watch your own degradation helplessly lol). Fuuuuck that shit! I will never do the cuckcaine ever again! I actually feel so much better without the cuckcaine cucking my whole life away lol :smiley:

But seriously, towards the end of my coke addiction it wasn’t even making me feel good anymore. I’d literally be like snorts the great wall of China “ohhh nooo why did i do that? How do i quit how do i quit i have to quit” snorts a keybump “I cant even stop myself” snorts another train track. It was so wack I hated it completely. Eventually I’m just like “AHHHH FUCK THIS!!! I gotta throw it out!!!” flushes like 240$-875$ down the toilet. Then the next day: “I am worthless and I don’t deserve to live” sad emo metal song in my headphones. Then a few days later “hmmm I should do that all over again! What a great idea!” Pure insanity lol

Oh god, and the “little aliens” I’d be blowing out of my nose!!! Literally the most nasty disgusting green/yellow, and sometimes red aliens coming out of my nose! Hellll noooo!! Never again!

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2184

Day 160.Checking In,Hope everyone is well!

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2185

You know I’m glad you’re here doll :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:. I look for your posts everyday :heart:

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2186

Thanks man, I appreciate you and your support! It is a pleasure watching you rack up the days my friend!
:v:t3: and :purple_heart:

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2187

Checking in day 184 … I’m in a Ham coma!! Ohhh my gosh, I have over hammed!
Having a lovely lazy day enjoying the sun and warm weather before the next snow storm, lol.
Have a great day ya’ll :grin::purple_heart:

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2188

Checking in on day 95. So lovely to see so many people checking in. We are in this together :heart:

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2189

Midday check-in. Hanging on! Yikes it just comes out of nowhere …and this voice starts up about how awful sobriety is and how a drink might help! No. I’ve been reading about post-acute symptoms and how they can really trip you up. It’s that feeling of going backwards in my recovery…feeling less productive, good or useful than I ‘should’ be at this point. I don’t care. I’m not picking up. It’s not like someone will come over and take me to jail for being sick today. I’m waiting it out and will catch up on all the delightful work later.

Time for a show. Thank you for being here my friends. :heart:

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2190

Hang in there Marie, ODAAT, and before ya know it you’ll have a 100 days behind you and looking forward to summer weather…

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2191

Yes. I can just get through this one day. I’ll be out and about soon. Thank you Nick

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2192

Thank you.
Wouldn’t say I’m naturally fit, .but I’m not really a big person either (If you don’t count shoe size, where I’m size 42 :joy:)

So it’s not that visible but I rather into my normal xs/s size then my current m/s.
And as long as it’s a problem for me, I’m going to fix it.

Unfortunately I have a weakness for Nachos, Salsa and Pizza, And If anything goes faster than yoga I get motion sickness :joy: so it’s a bit of a struggle.

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2193

Evening check in, thank you all so much for the support. I am having a very wobbly hour, feel like I am winging it a bit actually. Really want the birthday celebrations to finish with some bubbles. I am not giving in, but quite sad that it is impacting on my day.

It is 8.10pm now so just starting to leave the danger zone. I was possibly well enough to eat out for dinner but opted to stay in as knew it was a risk, so glad I did now as I really don’t have the strength right now.

I am going to get into my pjs, find some chocolate and light a candle. There are plenty of lovely ways to spend a birthday evening.

Thank you all again.

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2195

Thank you, I am already so proud of myself. The craving is finally passing too so definitely going to hit 8 days in the next hour :blush:

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2196

Jenny, you’re doing amazingly well for a birthday so early in sobriety. Stay strong :muscle: be proud. And a very happy birthday to you!

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2197

Day 282. Second check in

Discovered ginger cordial. Going to try it with soda water tomoro. Next to no.calories!!

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2198

I’ve been keeping up with your progress and I just wanted to say that you’re absolutely smashing it!
The person you were 7 days ago is not the person you are today; your positivity leaps off the page and it’s lovely to see.

Keep it going!

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2199

Love this! Thanks for sharing, Olivia :heartpulse:

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2200

Checking in a few hours before day 5.

Cramps and sickness has pretty much gone! Woo hoo! (Touch wood!!)

Went to the shops earlier to stock up on discounted Easter chocolate, so I’m a very happy bunny, haha.

I have nothing to say, really. I have no urges to drink at all, which is really good. Again, I seem to have gotten over my day drinking but have gone straight back to binge drinking on a night out :frowning: something to discuss with my support worker on Wednesday.
For now, I’m fairly happy with where my head’s at.

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2201

So glad you’re coming here to post about what you’re feeling. It’s so important to get this out there and not let it build and build. Good for you!

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2202

This made me laugh! I’m a narrow 42 also…makes finding nice footwear difficult! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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2203

This is so true and it will come more naturally next time :kissing_heart: Happy birthday, friend. Sending hugs.

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