Thank you Rosa. 
Part of me feels shame for how I’m feeling today, like I’m ‘failing’ at sobriety. But I didn’t pick up, I’m just recovering. This post-acute stuff is challenging. But I know the thing that got me here won’t fix me. On to Day 32 
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It’s important to recognize those shame feelings, too, and challenge them. I have struggled with them for a long time and if we point it out to ourselves that the shame is not necessary, doesn’t help, and maybe try and see where it comes from it is a worthwhile exercise. It’s like taking back your emotional experience, at least for me. Numbing it didn’t get rid of it, just enhanced it. On to 32!!! You’re doing great.
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You got this homie!!! Keep pushing forward, we must never exit the sober train if possible. It is our home. I know what you mean by those feelings, but remember that your life was on pause BECAUSE of your drug-of-choice, so going back to it would do nothing but wreck you again.
You got this and never forget that you can do this! You are powerful!!! 
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Since we are talking about shame stuff, I don’t know if anyone has talked about Brené Brown’s work on this thread recently so I’ll bring it up. Her books and website and podcast have helped me immensely in my journey, especially in terms of understanding myself and doing some healing. I think my favorite book is Daring Greatly, but they are all good reads. Her framing of living wholeheartedly really resonates with me and I strive to live my life that way. Here’s her website:
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Thank you so much, Rosa! Looks like excellent work. It’s definitely a big issue with me. It’s often clawing at me, keeping me down. I look forward to reading. I want to begin to work on what’s underneath in order to truly create a good life. One without any need for alcohol.
Thanks again, I really appreciate it!
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Checking in irritable and discontent. Im going to hit a meeting and see if that can jolt me out of this horrible state of mind
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Good plan- I hope you feel better soon.
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My Monday check in. Got a text from my sister this morning that said. I know we don’t talk much but wanted to let you know our son Jeremy passed away this morning. I responded back with sympathy and ask what happened. His liver and kidneys shutdown from cirrhosis from alcohol. She is my half sister from my moms first marriage and we are not very close so I had no clue my nephew had a problem. Her and I had a pretty disfunctional childhood with some trauma. She has 3 sons and Jeremy was the second born. My heart goes out to her and the family. We did text back and forth some today and she feels like she should of done more to get him to quit. Me knowing all to well there wasn’t anymore she could have done that it was his decision to make. Just so very sad and such a waste. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Just feeling really low right now.
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Steve, I’m so terribly sorry to hear this news. Heartbreaking. I’m so glad you’re here, and please know you can lean on us. Sending much love and support 
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I have you and your family in my prayers 
and am thinking of you during this difficult time
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Hope it helps. Wishing you a pleasant evening.
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Big healing hugs and healing energy sent your way 
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That’s shitty Steve. I’m sorry to hear that for you and your family.
Nothing worse than hearing of young people’s struggles like that.
Best wishes man.
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Hoping the mtg helps? Any idea what caused the feelings? Wishing u a peaceful night friend
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Sending u strength and healing during this difficult time 
im sorry for ur loss
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I briefly thought about having the morning off but the kids convinced me to go to training 
At least the cousins have gone home so now there’s only my 2 kids in the house… much calmer and quieter
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50 DAYS AF
Had an amazing weekend and received some really good news which I will just keep to myself for time being but feeling really happy and excited
Peace and strength to you all.
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Approching my 1st year sober…i cant believe it you guys 
i am soooo proud of myself.
To celebrate I am going to start the gym!! I am taking on a lil weight, I wanna feel better with my body so I will start working out. Tried doing it from home but its not working so I will be going to the same gym as my boyfriend, hope it will help.
I will keep you guys posted
Sending all of you lots of love
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@jennyh HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY! 
Hope you enjoyed the countryside lunch today Glad you listened to your body and stayed in … hope the chocolates do you justice 
@kellykelly YEAH 2 years! Way to go friend. Hope you are having a fantastic day and celebrating your amazing milestone 
@chevy55 I totally think we have a tendency to replace one addiction with another. Goal for me is to try and replace it with a healthy addiction (ie fitness, health etc) but to do it with mindfulness and to not become obsessive over it. We need to find a way to have our addict brain work for us not against us. If you would fall back on old ways if this was taken away then it needs attention. You may look into a healthier more moderate way of approaching your health kick -
@fae1 Welcome back and thank you so very much for checking in with us with your amazing number count. Keep stacking up the days 
@bones_80 so good to see you checking in Ian. I read on the other thread just now that you are not doing well. I am so sorry friend. I am sending you many comforting and soothing vibes. I do hope that you start to feel some relief soon.
Don’t feel mean – I know exactly where you are coming from and at first I felt bad about breaking contact with a long time friend but when you don’t feel peace with someone or if the friendship is not a two way street then its time to move on IMO. Glad that you are not letting your friend break your peace No need to feel bad about being straightforward. You have expressed your boundaries many times and he still chooses to ignore them and find ways to make contact then its on him.
@james83 Way to go on enjoying the family time and not being triggered or urged to drink… pouring the remainder down the drain was awesome! What a great feeling to have control back over your actions
@iamthechange WOOT WOOT 4 months is amazing work my friend. Should be super proud of your journey… keep stacking up the days
@whereswaldo YEAH 2 weeks! Love looking at the minutes and seconds as well… loads of time saved with our healthier choices. I know our minds can play many tricks on us as the addict portion of our brain tries to regain control. The fogginess does come and go for me but has become much less as I stack on more days. I know PAWS deals with brain fog too. Just keep doing what you are doing
@catmancam 1 month no energy drinks is great work friend. Loads of discipline Cam. Glad you were able to enjoy time with your family yesterday.
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@sy1234 I am the same with loving and feeling one with water. Lovely picture here… glad you got to do a mini adventure. I absolutely love Devon.
@juli1 Way to go on telling those thoughts to FUCK OFF – don’t need that poison. Glad you had a good time mom and niece
@noshame So sorry for the loss of your friend. 
Anxiety attacks are so intense – hope you are doing much better today.
@OLIVIA Great work on your clean time Olivia. So lovely to read your post and happy for you.
@cleanheart Great work with 36 days! Knowing your week is going to be tough — lean in for extra support and keep the tools handy. I know you can get through it friend.
@cjp how are you doing CJ? I’m sorry for the day you are having. Hope the gym helped.
@steve14 So very sorry friend. This is heartbreaking news. Sending you my condolences and sympathies.
@seb WOW – 50 days is amazing work friend. Happy for your happy news whatever it may be. Keep stacking up the days
checking in Monday evening
467 days free of alcohol and weed
882 days free of cigarettes
Not a whole lot – did got to get some acupuncture but that didn’t really help. Weather getting cooler now but will be getting warmer and more spring like next week. Looking forward to it. The warmer weather and the sunny spring feel really does help with maintain my positivity.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
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