2y1m21d
Today has been another fairly relaxed day. Again no much energy to do much. I had a zoom mtg that i attended and did abit of cleaning, but other than that, not much else. I do have to do a big grocery shop with the wagon when my husband gets home from work. That will basically be my exercise for the day lol The weather is just beautiful out. Wish my energy matched.
Ive spent some time today reviewing my goals also. What i want to see myself accomplish by the end of the year. We are 4 months into 2024 and i havent been doing well working towards my goalsā¦ particularly my health goals. I feel sort of stuck. I cant seem to get myself up at 530am to workout, im just sooo tired. I cant wait till next week when im able to workout at my usual 9am. My son will be in school and so i will have a normal schedule again. I will try to make it there tmrw at 530am and hope for the best. Even tho i feel abit hopeless over my weight, im not allowing this to be my reality. Im not SUPER overweight but i could use to lose some lbs for sure so that im healthy and not at risk for health conditions.
Anyway, thank u all for being here! Hope everyone has a great day/evening
Today was an ok day. It turned cold after the storms yesterday. That kept me in today, except to go to a meeting. I have also been battling pretty good headaches the last couple weeks. So that kind of stinks.
One more cold day, then it should start to warm back up. Monday there is a total eclipse here. Looking forward to that. Not going to have another one until 2045.
My head hurt so much that all I could muster up to cook, was a frozen pizza, and salad.
Anyway enough complaining, I hope everyone had a good day! Hereās to a better tomorrow!
Sleepy evening of day
329 no alcohol
260 no vapes or ciggs
131no thc
Today was my day off. Woke up at 8:30am to errends. Got bsck at 2pm and fell asleep till 4 then laid in bed till now 7:30pm. I was up and down a little in between those hours but very lazy late afternoon into early evening today. Im over 10hours no nicotine loszenges which means 0mg of nicotine entering my system. Ive been tired all day and a bit grumpy but ive been biting my toung because i know its just the nicotine withdraw
Checking in day 52
Had the first day of two for a golf tournament. It was super windy but pretty. I have 2 strokes to make up tomorrow. Enjoyed a nice visit with my son. He told me how proud he is meā¦. I told him about ths site and how much it is helping.
Tomorrow is a new day, have a good night friends (maybe morning for some of you).
3am
I canāt sleep, I had a proper routine going on before I relapsed weeks back.
15 Days sober but itās like I switched that part of my brain on that was used to be up all night.
It could be other stuff as well but yh totally recked my sleep routine. Bit of effort and exercising to tire myself out and hopefully my body will slip back into itās sober self over the next few weeks.
Iām really relaxed and kind of enjoying it relaxed, cosy, listening to a podcast while itās so quite and peaceful but know it wonāt help me during the day il be a snail haha
Work was brutal. There was a funeral for a very well known man in our city. My dad grew up with him, he was my elementary school principal, a member at the club, and did so much for our community. He had pancreatic cancer for a lot longer than most do. It was rough seeing him in that state for so long. After 2 failed rounds of chemo, he decided to stop treatment and move to Florida to enjoy the time he had left. I was told he did, so thatās nice. Anyway, huge turnout. I was almost as exhausted as I was after Easter. My coworker who was sick before me said sheās been more fatigued than normal ever since. Maybe itās residual healing from the sickness. Hopefully tomorrow is easier bc I still have a lot to do after work. Better rest up now Enjoy the journey
Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 37
Weāre expecting a new Blizzard today.
Itās supposed to start snowing within an hour.
Husband is going for his x-ray around lunchtime.
Thereās 1,5 hours one way drive to the hospital.
Our city council is working to change that so we will be able to go to the closest hospital in the future. Which will be around 40 min one way drive instead.
But weāre not there yet.
Still havenāt gotten an appointment for my 14 y/o either. Itās crazy.
Enough politics for today.
As usual when I sober up I have this idea that I should re-create myself. Finally be the person I want to be, and so what I want to do.
Itās been multiple attempts to do so, but this time I think I actually know where Iām heading.
Without any second thoughts, and without a care in the world about other peoples opinions, especially my motherās.
Itās freeing,and peaceful over here. I enjoy it.
Thank you.
Adhd meds can do so much, our oldest (sheās 21 now) become like a whole new girl when we eventually found the right meds for hr in her teens.
She did stop taking them for a while when she turned 18, but now sheās back at it again.
Itās always nice to see when your kids are feeling better, and doing better.
Your Mother in law sounds like a lot.
I know my Ma is a lot to me, can only imagine how my husband feels
One of my fav. Tips when things is hard is to pretend that Iām the main character in a movie or tv series, and that this is the dramatic turn. Itās going to be hard before it gets better, but since itās only acting Iām not wearing myself out emotionally for real doing it.
Checking in on day 13. Feeling good and bad. Feeling good because im getting better sleep and mood is okay but not doing so good as in the cravings I have. Im keeping busy on my day off though
Itās interesting how on some days most people on this thread feel bad, and on other days they feel mostly good. While today (or last night) seems to be an overall inbetween one. Goes for me too this morning. I slept OK, but woke up with sinusitis above my eyes. Sitting up and tylenol helps a bit. Another rainy day so have to plan some indoor activities. Homework for writing class tonight I did yesterday. I could edit it ad infinitum but I think itās OK for now.
Iāll keep you all posted on what Iām busy with. It wonāt be smoking or drinking or anything like that. Never again. Have as good a day as you can all. Sober and clean. Love.
@acromouse Hoping for some better weather for you soon. Enjoy the Veluwe.
21 days, 3 weeks today! Iām reading a booked called āAtomic Habitsā which has been recommended by multiple people. Itās kinda interesting though not the best book Iāve read BUT it has some unexpected things to say about addiction. Many of us know that addiction is somewhat situational - I.e. if you used to drink in a specific bar with certain friends, avoiding that environment makes breaking a drinking habit easier. What I hadnāt realised is just how much those environmental triggers matter. I thought it was maybe 10% but itās more like 50% of the battle (actually, 90% in some cases if the author is correct).
Iād been seeing my battle this past year in part as breaking one bad habit at a time by just doing the thing multiple times. Good example would be alcohol and flying - I spent 20 years associating getting on a plane with getting drunk - but this last 2-3 years have eliminated that habit successfully to the point where it is not triggering at all. Lunch with a client was always an excuse to order wine (expensive wine) at lunchtime to get started. Now I feel the opposite - I have a client I need to see who loves a drink at lunch and Iām going to have to navigate that so I havenāt booked it in yet.
This doesnāt mean that I can let my guard down, but what it does mean is that in a lot of situations that I unconsciously associated with alcohol, that is no longer the case and I would have to consciously choose to order it rather than being triggered into thinking about it by the situation.
Have a great day all (and yes it is cold, windy and rainy here in London still. One day spring will come)
I have also been battling pretty good headaches the last couple weeks. So that kind of stinks.
haha
Enjoy the journey 
I am working 7.30-3.30pm today