Good morning all, checking in on day 102. I hope everyone has the most amazing day!
and 
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Iāve found duch lessons (kind of) in the library not so far away from me, doable on a bike. Iām very happy cause itās not easy to find something available for me time-wise (window when kids are not at home is very narrow), and itās for free 
This plus some online home studying - should work. And it might be good for me to socialise a bit, Iām such a neanderthal lately, I donāt know how to talk with people anymore.
Today Sachaās friend is staying with us after school few hours. He is such a polite boy and my monkeys are so wild compare to himā¦ And every time some boy from Sachaās school is here, they are showing off so bad, in such a stupid wayā¦ Would it be easier to have a girls? 
This boy is from very religious family (like most of our village) and last time Sacha was at his place I got message from his mother saying: Nathan thinks itās very sad that Sacha doesnāt believe in Jesus, he is praying for him. And they gave Sacha bible for kids. Like wtf, did you ask 5 years old kid if he believe in god?! I just texted back āthank youā cause I really didnāt know what to say My boy is asking sooooo many questions now about god and jesus. Why god is watching us all the time? Is god a sun? Is god a moon? Is god a cheese? Can god do parkour? How old is he? And he loves story about david and goliath (he likes to watch some religious stories for kids on yt lately). Now only wait when he gonna tell me to go with him to church
Anyway, I still have 2 hours free so I want to go for a run but I also donāt want to go for a run so I just sit here with my phone procrastinating.
I donāt know if itās like this in every country but I notice that lately when I pay with cash (bigger bill, like 50/100e) I feel like Iām doing something semi legal 
Sometimes ppl are giving me weird look, like who the hell is still using cash, are you drug dealer or something? Idk, maybe itās just me. But it feels weird to pay with cash. (My h is plumber and heās doing some extra works sometimes, getting paid with cash).
Ok Mischa, stop talking nonsense only to postpone decision about running, just go! Just do it! 
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Iām happy that you found a language class you can take. I wish you the best of luck.
The Cash thing is the same on Sweden. I still use cash, itās been enough computer/system/ATM crashes here for us to always have cash anyway. And itās still legal to pay with cash too, according to the law the stores canāt really deny you to use cash. Some stores deny it anyway but if they do, I wonāt shop there. Itās crazy. Last time we where in the city there had been a major hacker attack so in most of the stores they stopped people from entering if they couldnāt pay with cash. It was us and an old lady that had cash to use.
The religious family sounds a bit over the top to me. If I where you I would probably have answered something in line with āThank you for your concern, and for the bible. I would appreciate if you donāt force your religion on my child or on my family in the futureā
Iāve presented all different religions to my kids as options and more or less fairytales or fictional stories, which a lot of it basically is. Some people choose to believe in one or Multiple gods, otherās donāt, but youāre always free to choose.
Probably because I never really had that choice and still struggles with a lot of it. And I have 0 tolerance for that kind of things nowdays.
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I appreciate your kind wishes - I hope youāre doing well too. 
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YES!!! Thank you for sharing this amazing milestone, and for the big smile you brought to my face. I am glad youāre proud of yourself, Iām certainly proud of you!
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Checking in on day 499 AF. Getting closerā¦ 
Have a terrific Tuesday everyone. Stay sober, whatever your vice.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1367. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in for Day 11. Last couple of days Iāve been sleeping better, which really helps me recover. Getting myself on normal hours now. And my 3rd day back on normal exercise.
The worst is over! I am envisioning sober life today. How am I gonna function āout thereā? I feel like itās time to start living, so I need a plan for all the bear traps. Like the gigantic grocery store nearby. The one with aisles and aisles of alcohol. I know where the aisles are and you deliberately have to step into that creepy hell. I could pass those aisles visually by drawing my attention to the back wall and sliding on by. Then cut back down for tea and coffee when Iām safely past. I can do this! Iām scared because I am taking this seriously. But it will get easier after the first time.
Iām looking forward to getting out in the world. Itās just the beginning, finishing up the detox phase. Now I need to start my life over. The normal stuff of errands and chores first while I get healthy. Then Iāll go back to work. Many good things ahead. ODAAT. 
Enjoy your day.
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42 days AF
Preparing lunch for mum and niece.
This is realy satisfying!
A thing I want to do more oftenā¦
Taking care of others by such things.
Will be back at the apartment this evening, to have a swim tonight and a few appointments next days.
No cravings, feeling quite good.
Still feeling good with the little lie to the man I want to distance from. 
Despite of body feeling blahā¦
But I will be back at the sauna Tempel xext days, lol. Therapy.
Much love 
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Checking in on day 75! Hope you all have a wonderful day
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You donāt need an ID to pay with cash. Sometimes you do if you pay with card, but not even the bank handles cash here so it isnāt easy.
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Undoubtedly, there will be other people in that aisle, look at them and feel sorry for the fact that theyre most likely struggling in the grips of it just like you were 11 days ago. Donāt avoid it, walk right past that shit like you conquered something that you wonāt let run your life
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I wote for monopoly money. Thatāll make me rich 
Nah jokes aside, itās a mess here, you canāt do anything without a digital bank ID. Neither the banks or the stores wants to handle cash and doesnāt handle cash. And if you get a requisition (donāt know if thatās the right word but basically a government founded paper thatās worth money from for example the social services) you canāt even get that one out in cash or use it in the store. You have to go to the bank so theyāll transfer itās worth to your bank account.
And if you donāt have a passport to get a digital ID or isnāt approved to apply for a bank account youāll have serious problems.
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I absolutely love that quote you posted
Im going to think about it today while i work
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Religion is the Opium of people
Addictive
Uphoric
Yet destructive
It includes quite a bit in 1 sentence
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Good for you, Charlie. Good to see you owning up to your mistakes and getting back to work! Youāve always got a home here, friend.
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@ifs Welcome back, James!!! Itās so so good to see you posting again.
@SoberWalker Belated Congratulations on your big 2K!!! You are a huge inspiration for me and absolutely rocking this sobriety thing.
Day 423.
Yeahā¦ I havenāt posted in a few days, but tried to come on here and read. Things are ok. Iām still a bit up and down mentally and struggling to pull myself together. But maybe Iām just likeā¦ expecting too much of myself sometimes? Dunnoā¦ Anywhoā¦ Still sober, so thereās that.
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Such a beautiful room 
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How are you feeling today?
Iām on day 4 today. I woke up feeling somewhat better. But still not good.
Ive noticed that brainfog is pretty wild the first few days. Sometimes its hard to tell if I dreamed something the past few days or it really happened.
The night sweats the first three days were significant. Waking up in a wet spot every morning isnāt what I would call a good feeling. I did have some relief from that last night though. I still sweat some, but nothing like the forst three nights.
My mood is all over the place. Like i said before, I woke up feeling a little better. But it seems like the mood is declining through the day.
Iām comminted to this being the end of my aclohol consumption. Iāve promised my family, my sons that Iām never going back.
I will not allow alcohol to make me break that precious promise.
Iām here to say I am struggling, but I will persevere!
One day at a time.
#NeverForever
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Thanks Amy 
Iām a big fan of the number two so this one suits me 
Any idea where the moodswings come from?
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