Just returned from Center Parcs and I could definitely tell that today was a Bank Holiday. Almost everyone there by definition has little kids, so this week has been full of mostly healthy outdoors activities… but today was different. People drinking by the water slides at 11am, a lady with a whole bottle of wine to herself whilst ten pin bowling with her kids at 2, a guy standing by the lake watching his kids boating whilst drinking a tinny… Our society is just overrun with booze. No I don’t want a baileys in my milkshake for an extra £2! I don’t mean to be judgy, I’ve drunk enough for a lifetime already, but I feel like my eyes are wide open how prevalent it is now. There but for the grace of god go all of us.
Lots of thoughts your way, friend. Having been there myself, the frustration can be intolerable. I don’t always come here when I’m depressed, and I’m proud of you for doing just that. Hugs.
I thought about blowing it yesterday. It was a bad day and I just wanted to shut down my brain from thoughts. Alas, I did not. In addition to bad things happening, I have made a self-agreement to always remember things that have happened over the years. It should never be news to me that drinks happened since I was a toddler.
I choose different years to come. I have not, nor will I, drink alcohol in my 55th year. Let’s just start with today. Shall we?
Hey all, second check in, just hit 5 days. Still in bed, had a 4 hour nap this afternoon. Real flashbacks now to the days when the chronic fatigue was bad, and how I would drink in the evening to have some sort of separation from day and night. Can’t do that so a little bit lost. Hopefully this feeling will pass.
Sorry you are struggling @Tragicfarinelli The BH weekends can feel very strange. This country in general seems a little off recently, like everyone isn’t right.
You are totally right about the bank holidays @james83 Crazy that it was like that at CP during the day though! Kids are just going to grow up with this as their norm.
Yeah, they really are. I’m sober for me… because I learned that is the only way to make it stick BUT I am glad that I am modelling good behaviour for my kids. I’ve explained that alcohol is addictive and I struggle with it, and they get it. I hope it helps them. Having an alcoholic father who didn’t accept he had a problem (still doesn’t, and miraculously isn’t quite dead yet) made me think that drinking ALL the time was normal.
It is weird, people are ‘off’. The vibe is off. It has been bothering me. I have been looking for shelter. This place and the people here are like shelter, to me.
@lile01 Were you able to get to a pharmacy or a clinic? How are you doing today? @james83 I’m sure I will love the book and I think we can always use a refresher no matter how far along we are. Actually more so as we stack up the days as this is when the demon tries to convince us that we are healed and we really can’t afford even that one drink. Great plan to keep it and read again down the road. Good lord – it is a disgrace how much our society relies on alcohol and how quickly the bottles are opened (like 6 am drinks to start off a long weekend)… just disgusting when I look back at it. Glad we are on a better healthier path @jennyh Happy Birthday beautiful. Hope you are able to find some space and able to tell those urges to FRO. Sending you calming vibes so you can enjoy the weekend and well deserved week off. Much love dear friend. @catmama23 so lovely to see you my friend. Looking forward to hearing more from you @dolse71 Great to see you checking in and with 1285 days! Remarkable! @BJonns welcome back friend. Do not berate yourself. Be proud that you are taking the steps to get back on the sober track and keeping connected. We can not do this journey alone. WE have your back here. Keep pushing forward! @s_unrelax Way to go with your double digits. I do know that some friends from our old lifestyles just don’t fit our new life. Don’t lose hope – keep on this path and hopefully you will connect with more like minded people to spend your time with. I do enjoy doing things on my own as much as I do in other’s company – glad you took yourself to the movies – hope you enjoyed it. @scorpn so lovely to see you posting – was just thinking of you and missing you. So happy that you are planning this lovely vacation. I’m sure it is stressful with all else you have going on and your work schedule – I do hope you are finding time for yourself love. Sending hugs and love @happyfeet WOOT WOOT 8 months is amazing work Anne! Love that its getting to be normal for you. I can understand the low mood – don’t focus on it – hoping that the outdoor air and walks will help lift the mood for you. Sending you loving energy! Be proud of your achievement @chevy55 looking great Nick – what an awesome feeling when our old cloths start filling nicely! Keep up the fantastic efforts.
@lisa-b great work on reclaiming your life Lisa – glad to see you learning to drive and getting over the fear. Onwards and upwards is a great slogan! Love all the baby steps
Oh this is powerful love — Keep working on yourself – I know am learning a lot about myself in sobriety (not all good but now I have the opportunity to work on it with a clear head). Sending you love – really love seeing your avatar pop up daily @catmancam I missed it – 50+ days of no binge eating! and resisting the easter eggs – I know that’s huge! Should be super proud of yourself Cam Good grief on the parcel issues – glad it got sorted out. I do hope the complaint made by the postal worker gets some attention. @butterflymoonwoman So happy that everyone is doing well. Love that you buy toys for your son so he can still enjoy the Easter celebrations Give yourself some grace love – you have been through a rough few days and I know that I find it difficult to connect with my HP or do any of my routines when I am dealing with little to no sleep and you also have the stress of making sure your son is ok and healing. Sending you loads of love my friend and hope you all have a wonderful fun weekend @Button83 40 days! Way to go What a beautiful picture @tragicfarinelli Oh I’m sorry love – getting close to the triple digits and passing your 3 month mark can be causes for your up and down moods. Just a guess. Glad you were able to do something to help distract yourself from the urges. Keep pushing forward TF – you are doing marvelously well in your sober journey Hope you get to enjoy Barbie movie @charlie_c lovely pics Charlie – hope you and your family are enjoying your holiday!
Checking in on Friday evening
464 days free of weed and alcohol
879 days free of cigarettes
I am enjoying today’s numbers Glad that the sun is shining and weather is starting to get warmer. Got news this morning that a good friend had passed away last week. I have cried and screamed all day. I am still in shock and trying to make peace with this. Was a sudden passing.
Learning to be grateful for the time we have cause its not guaranteed.
Grateful that i am addiction free and this news did not put in unhealthy spiral. No that is not how i cope any more. I will find a healthy way to process this.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Oh I’m with you Jazzy. Been there. I used to love a long weekend so I could go wild for 2 days and bring myself down to function at work after 4. What a waste of time & life. No more
So sorry for that sudden loss. They are truly world shattering and that kind of grief requires that level of outlet you described. I’m glad you’re giving yourself the space to do so. Hugs.
Thank you to everyone for welcoming me back. Day 2, still feeling terrible withdrawls, shame and anxiety. I know it gets better eventually. Im just not sure I can completely claw myself out of this one though. Drunk called my friend to let her know about her husband is cheating. I can’t forgive myself. It’s not the way she should have found out. Now if they split, it’s on me. How do I live with that?
Glad that the sun is shining and weather is starting to get warmer. Got news this morning that a good friend had passed away last week. I have cried and screamed all day. I am still in shock and trying to make peace with this. Was a sudden passing.
during this difficult time:sunflower: