Missed checking in last night but the number is still the same until 7pm. At work, our GM is on vacation and our head chef’s grandmother just passed away. We were left to face the busiest night of the year so far being led by our young manager and 3 rookies behind the kitchen line. I offered up advice throughout the night but as usual I was ignored bc she wanted to try it her way. Ended up being the shitshow I expected, and us running around like headless chickens. I’ve gotten used to nights like this. Glad to get it over with.
After work I ended up going to my bartender friends house. Last time I was there was in February, helping her sand walls for painting. Glad I finally got to see the finished result. It was so nice to catch up and have some crazy deep conversations. The four of us are all in recovery, each with a different DOC. Cocaine, heroin, meth, and me. They all agreed they got the most out of AA meetings as opposed to NA. Whatever works is all that matters. I personally believe anyone can benefit by practicing the principles of AA, alcoholic/addict or not. It changed my way of thinking so much that I can’t even imagine navigating life without it. Our conversations went deep into the night and I ended up staying over bc I didn’t feel like driving home so late. Not the best sleep, but compared to waking up with a hangover, this is cake. I’m going to lay down for a bit before work. Hoping it won’t be a repeat of last night
I had and still am working on this. It’s hard for me to sit and do nothing.
I think for me, because I was a “functioning alcoholic ” (and I laugh because that was no way to function.) it was shame. I wanted to drink more than anything. My life revolved around my next drink. Hiding the fact I was drinking too much. But if I kept busy. Kept working. Cleaning something. Just basically always getting things done. Working harder than everyone. Then I hid the shame of always drinking or being a drunk. It was so exhausting. I was always doing 3 or 4 things at a time. I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t have to be perfect to hide the fact that I’m always drinking. Basically I’m just a human being and I don’t have to be perfect by always doing something. I’m still working on this. It’s hard.
I find guided meditations help a lot. It took me a long time to be able to sit with a guided meditation and get use to not doing anything. I do them all the time now. Lots of people on here use the Insight Timer App.
Keep up the good work.
And enjoy a lazy day. Being sober is hard. Relax. You earned it.
I’ve been like this since I was a kid. Always had to do and do. I think in a way the drinking in the evening was my way to ‘relax’ and get out of work mode. I’ll look into this app you mentioned. Thanks for sharing. It helps me to hear I’m not alone in these things.
Yeah my schedule bas been a little crazy lately my sdcond job made me increaae my availability but so far ive been doing good. I appreciate your input, definitely focusing on self care when I’m not at work
Day 99
Was up most of the night with my 1 year old who has a fever. I’m on my own parenting, as my wife works overnights.
I had to cancel lunch plans with friends, and cancel going to a buddy’s birthday tonight
Tough life these days working all week and not really able to get out of the house/office and reset.
Happy to quickly read some of your posts here to help maintain my sanity!
That’s what’s up. I haven’t seen my high school friends in years. We used to get together once a year at the park. Everyone’s just doing their own thing now. Busy with their kids and all. I had a close friend back in high school. Known each other since middle school. We hung out every weekend and drank. Did a lot of stupid shit together. His girl didn’t like me. I said some dumb stuff to her when I was drunk. I also lied to her to cover up for my friend. They got married in their mid-20s, and I didn’t get invited. Even though he kept telling me he had an invitation for me, I never received it. His family and friends who attended the wedding asked for me. I thought it was fucked up at first, but I’m sure he did it because of his wife. I respect that. I always wanted to apologize to her, but I don’t wanna bring old shit up. Seems like they’re on good terms. I don’t wanna start drama between them.
Day 314. I’m still catching myself scheming from time to time. I haven’t forgotten where I was though and how much better I am now. Even if I’m not where I want to be yet. It is what it is.
Saturday in. Worked about 7 hours today so only a half day Home having some lunch then heading over to my neighbors to replace her hot water heater. She’s in her 80’s and is the sweetest thing! Does a lot of cooking and always shares some with me. Not much else planned for later so maybe just some clean up around the house. Have a good day people
Checking in day 117 AF I have been on my first little holiday break this year and it has been so wonderful to be sober. I have had some alcohol free drinks and enjoyed them.
I really thought I’d struggle as going away has always been an excuse it get drunk the entire time. Xx
I’ve battled with sleep problems most of my life. From not sleeping at all for a couple days to a few hours a night. Tried different meds and supplements with no good results so for me it’s just normal shit now. Hopefully yours will get better in time and it’s just a normal process as your body is adjusting to sobriety. I know from others for some it took some months for it to get back to normal. Hoping it improves soon for you.
Thank you. Really helps to be heard and understood. I too have had sleep issues for some time. And yeah, early sobriety. I like to think I’m past it but not yet. I’m sorry you deal with this too. Seems like a lot of us do. Appreciate the support! I’m just getting through the day without a drink which is a win, sleep or not . Have a great afternoon
” (and I laugh because that was no way to function.) it was shame. I wanted to drink more than anything. My life revolved around my next drink. Hiding the fact I was drinking too much. But if I kept busy. Kept working. Cleaning something. Just basically always getting things done. Working harder than everyone. Then I hid the shame of always drinking or being a drunk. It was so exhausting. I was always doing 3 or 4 things at a time. I don’t have to do that anymore. I don’t have to be perfect to hide the fact that I’m always drinking. Basically I’m just a human being and I don’t have to be perfect by always doing something. I’m still working on this. It’s hard.
my sdcond job made me increaae my availability but so far ive been doing good. I appreciate your input, definitely focusing on self care when I’m not at work 
wasnt good but it passed quickly
i was wrong
and staying that way
in. Worked about 7 hours today so only a half day 
Home having some lunch then heading over to my neighbors to replace her hot water heater. She’s in her 80’s and is the sweetest thing! Does a lot of cooking and always shares some with me. Not much else planned for later so maybe just some clean up around the house. Have a good day people 
I have been on my first little holiday break this year and it has been so wonderful to be sober. I have had some alcohol free drinks and enjoyed them.
. Have a great afternoon
