Day #2 sober from everything
Day #5 or #6 away from cigarettes i lost count lol
Still withdrawing pretty hard from cocaine. Feel very little motivation to do anything today. Might just rest and watch the Fallout tv series or something.
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Checking in on Day 7. Hi everyone! All is well, another day sober, thank you God for restoring to me sanity and keeping me sober.
Just for Today I will try to live through this day only and not tackle my whole life problem at once.
Wish everyone a Happy 24! #ODAAT 
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Congratulations on ur 1 week of sobriety!!
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Thank you Jazzy!
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Day 315. Beautiful day today.
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Just remember everything is temporary and you will smile again. Sending peace and relief yourway @Deelzebub
From a fellow
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Afternoon check in. The day started out pretty good but mentally I went downhill fast. Seems to happen when I take a day off from work. To much thinking time I guess. Anxiety and depression have been a battle for as long as I can remember. Like with most of us not drinking or using to numb it can be challenging. I don’t talk about it much or share my struggles with anyone really so just putting on here today. Not looking for advice or feedback just seeing if it helps typing it out. 
Hoping everyone here is having a good day or night. 
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Checking in day 118 AF 
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Thanks Steve. We’re in this together 
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Checking in on day 121. Tomorrow will be 4 months since I last drank.
Today I’m not good. I have been doing great. Keeping busy, my house has never been do clean, my dog has never been walked so much, I’m reading, got my bike out after 4 years of being a dusty ornament, I’m meeting up with friends as often as possible, I’m listening to sober podcasts , popping on here to read posts, I’m journaling like a maniac & it’s helping sort out my thoughts, I’m even stopping to smell the roses.
Except for today I just want to peel my skin off. I had to go grocery shopping & I walked past the alcohol aisle and I 100% do not want to drink however a thought popped in my head that I wasn’t expecting. It wasn’t I need a drink, it was “it’s so shit that I can’t drink anymore & make life quiet for a while”. Is this normal coming up to a milestone?? The majority of my days after the 1st month have been good/happy days. I just don’t know why I feel so angry today.
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Day 15 vent
Got up a little bit earlier than normal to give myself some extra time to relax before work.
Went to the kitchen to look for something to eat, and there was nothing to eat which isnt a surprise. Fridge full of food and nothing substantial to eat. And I dont mean that in a “theres nothing I want to eat” way, I mean that quite literally. Since my mom hoards things she refuses to get rid of anything until its already been bad for a week (or longer). Its full of all of the stupid salad dressings and sauces for herself, and her leftover food thats going bad, cheese, etc. Literally nothing meal worthy. Its a regular thing for us to find salad dressings in the fridge from 2019 etc, and if we throw them out, we get yelled at (or screamed at) by her, and she will literally take it out of the trash and put it back in the fridge. Just to start to paint a picture of what its like.
(Should also mention I do try to buy groceries for myself sometimes but its such a mess of a situation because when I do, theres 1) no room to even put the groceries, 2) even if I find a place to put them where I know where they are, she moves all of it to the back of god knows where so it all gets forgotten about, where I’m unable to find it, and 3) cooking anything here is always equally as much of a pain, because of the hoarding situation its half of the work just to find clean pots/pans to cook with, and 90% of the time the stove is cluttered with her shit so theres not even room to cook anything anyway).
So anyway.
Resorted to my usual move in this situation which is to order food. Also frustrating because its just not ideal financially. I’m spending way more money on food than I should be, but sometimes thats literally the only option.
Ordered a healthy meal, it was really good, and I got myself a hibiscus tea that was really yummy, and im grateful that I got to enjoy that.
Didnt finish all of it. So I go to the fridge to put my leftovers there. Back to another daily frustrating situation: no room. So I took out a couple items that have been in there forever, and asked her if we could do something with them. Somehow escelated into her yelling at me, blaming me, being condescending, and saying disturbing things on top of it, like how when she’s dead I’m gonna need to learn how to buy groceries for myself. Cool.
Got even more frustrated and wanted to escape so I just shoved my leftovers in the fridge anyway and now Im in my room with my headphones in, on silent, and since I started typing this post she’s already knocked on my door continuously (despite me not responding to her) and then yelling at me more and saying some more stupid shit that I didnt care to listen to.
Kinda broke down crying for a bit because this is just such a stupid reality I live in. Such simple things like putting away leftovers shouldnt be this much of an issue. And it just makes me really sad.
Sorry for the vent and thank you if you took the time to read this. No need for advice or anything, just needed to vent. If i have enough time after getting ready for work, I’d like to take a short walk in the forest preserve. Its gotten really nice out the past couple days and i could use some time in the sun/daylight.
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Having a similar day myself Steve. Hope your day improves
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If it makes you feel better I think she possibly has control issues based around worthlessness. Controls the controllable and tries to control the possessions she has, including you.
It’s not you, it’s her own mental health issues in play that create that meanness. Keep doing good stuff for yourself and don’t bow to threats or mindless comments .
A forest walk sounds very soothing.
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Just seriously hold your sobriety in one hand and question whether you would surrender that for a bottle of sugar and substances that do you no good. Sounds like you are doing so well, take heart and power thru. It will pass. 🫶🏼
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Thanks Lisa. Hoping yours does also. Please don’t try to peel your skin off! Sounds painful 
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We definitely are! Thanks 
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Absolutely, she has a lot going on mentally. I appreciate your words of support, its nice having an outside reminder. Thank you 
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Checking in on day 546 AF.
HAPPY SUNDAY EVERYBODY
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Thank you so much. I am really enjoying being sober & the changes it’s made to my life so far. I did surrender to a big bar of chocolate (I’m trying to moderate my sugar intake & loose some weight) I’d rather not lose any weight this week than lose my sobriety.
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Hi all, checking in on Day 28 AF, feeling tired, bit ratty but thank God I’m sober.
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