OMG chocolate! I would so love some right now Lisa-B!
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@Laner Iām so very sorry that thatās the reality you are faced with 
@Danwood85 that sounds good, Iāll check it out, thanks 
@Jasty2 you raise a good point, Iāll try to talk about it in therapy tomorrow, thanks š©µ
@Chevy55 thank you š©µ
@JazzyS thank you š©µ I hope you managed to fall back to sleep with the sound of the rain 
@Kvee congrats on 50 days 
@Wakikki congrats on 850 days
@Deelzebub sorry for the depression wave but well done for fighting your way through it š©µ
@Butterflymoonwoman sending you energy for tonight 
Iām so glad you can get some sleep tomorrow day time 
@K_S congrats on your week love the JFT quote š©µ
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@Steve14 sending strength š©µ
@Lisa-B the milestone malady is real, sending strength š©µ it should pass 
@wahtisnormal I hope you have time for the forest walk, that sounds very calming 
1357 days no alcohol.
822 days no cocaine.
337 days no vape.
2 days no binge-eating.
Caught-up here this morning. Read a chapter of the book Iām reading. Watched an episode of Virgin River in the lounge. Helped my dad unload another van load of stuff to store in my garage. Now Iāve caught-up here again.
Tomorrow is therapy day. I hope I can atleast not hang my head in shame for the entire 50 minutes this time.
I hope youāve all had wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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4 months is amazing. You deserve to be proud of yourself for that 
Im sorry to hear youre struggling today. I can completely understand having that thought, and that must be really hard having it pop up so randomly when youve been feeling good lately. It will come and it will go. It wont always be this prominent. Ive been trying to re-wire my brain lately when I think alcohol will relax me or make things more fun, or whatever it is, I ask myself, āwill it really?ā I find that in the long run, the effects of alcohol do the opposite of relax me, it adds more stress into my life and thats something I have to remind myself of constantly. Sending you loads of strength and support to get through today. Never forget how amazing youre doing, even on the hard days. And some days, youre allowed to just be angry. Change comes with discomfort, but youre doing it out of wanting a healthier, more beneficial life for yourself and thats a beautiful thing. 
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Made it to day 4. So far, insomnia has been kicking my butt. I feel so irritable and bored? I think today has been the worst. Just have to keep on trucking and remember the goal is to heal and get comfortable with myself again. Iāve been so far from feeling confident, capable and in control for so long and I know if I stick it out, thatās a real possibility for me. Hoping everyone has a beautiful day/night.
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Thatās gotta be hard keeping it in all of the time. Iām glad you feel that this is a safe enough place to just be open about it and just put it into words, and youāre absolutely right, so many of us here struggle with similar things in that sense. Know that we hear you and we know what itās like on those hard days. Sending you support, youāre killing it! And hope your day gets better from here on out
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Thank you @wahtisnormal I have definitely been looking at alcohol differently this time. And I play the tape forward.
I spoke with my sister about this & the thing that came up is I am a thinker, I over think everything to the nth degree, my brain is always active, just the internal monologue. And although this has always been the case for me since as far back as I can remember it never really bothered me until I stopped drinking. The drink was making my brain quieter & now my brain is getting back to default settings itās back to its former self. So I donāt miss drink but I do miss my brain not being so active all the time. I hope that makes sense. I think I might just need to learn to meditate or something lol.
And yes I agree change is messy. Sure if it was easy everyone would do it š©·
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@suechu I have a bit of an addiction to the brownie M&Ms at the moment. They are so good.
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4 days is amazing. Sleep takes a while to come, about 2 weeks for me before I saw a change, when it does come itāll be the best sleep youāll ever have.
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Youāre doing good things!! The frustration is real and very normalā¦I very recently started guided meditations every morning and evening and theyāre helping a lot as well. Remember that the urge will pass. It will be uncomfortable, a lot of things will be, but youāll get through them and everytime you do, youāll gain strength from it. 
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Congratulations on your 50 ODAATs Kvee
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Thank you! I appreciate your kindness. Men are built to hold all this yucky stuff in 
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Thats completely understandable. I can relate on the overthinking - its so completely exhausting. Glad you got to talk with your sister about it weāll figure this out, one day at a time
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Look at you gurl!!
Wracking up 4 months of ODAATs.
Love it
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Man, thats one of the things I hate for you guys 
Iāve talked about it with my guy friends, its such bs that the world has forced that idea upon society. Its not fair. All human beings need an outlet to express from time to time. Know that youre never going to be judged here
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Thank you @Davina_Davis Iāve tried meditating before but I suppose it takes practice & I never gave it a chance. Is it an app or YouTube video you follow to do your guided meditation?
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I use the Insight Timer app, it has all kinds of different guided meditations, for whatever ails you. Iām doing a beginnerās 7 day sleep one at night, and an anxiety/ trauma one in the am. I cannot do unguided yet, these are good starters!!
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Wow! That sounds amazing. Iāll check it out. Thanks. I donāt think I could do unguided either, thereās too much noise in my head for that lol.
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Thank you sir!!!
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