Day 105 - need to double down on recovery and get back into a routine, last week was really rough, have a good day everyone
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Omg! I love that 
So cute! Triangles are my favorite shape.
Your picture just sent me down a midnight rabbit hole of trying to see if I could push a stud thru my old labret hole! I couldnt 
I had it pierced for 14 years, but took it out 10 years ago bc I had/have alot of gum damage. It fit last time I tried, 4 years ago.
Aweā¦now I miss it 
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Day 301 AF
Busy day preparing for my travels to CA. Finished the day up with back to back little league games for my grandsons. Nothing brings me more joy than those little humans.
Brunch tomorrow with a friend I have not seen in awhile and then goi g to check out a few new apartments.
Heading to bed, safe, sober and blessed.
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Congratulations on 7 months Joe 
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1 Week
No Alcohol
No Tobacco
Going to attend AA physical meeting. God bless everyone
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423
Another number I like for unknown reasons 
Ugh. My neck pain spread and turned into a tension headache, that turned into an almost migraine. I think bc itās combined with pms. Sorry, tmi, but all I wanted was to start my cycle today 
Iām in pain in multiple areas, in a miserable mood, and exhausted from not sleeping well again. The second it arrives, like magic, the symptoms will vanish. Hoping to sleep well tonight bc I have to be at work extra early for literally no reason. Not even gonna get into it. Anyway, Iām gonna head off to bed soon so this day ends. Night 
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Glad to hear youāre feeling better. For me a long challenging yoga session did the trick.
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@Just_Laura I Hope the magical hormone change comes soon 
@s_unrelax Congrats on one week 
@DanaM56 Enjoy your time with your friend today.
@Shawn1991 Hope you can find back to your routine soon. Itās so important in recovery 
When mine gets disturbed I feel like Iām swimming.
@maxwell Enjoy your home jungle 
I do enjoy your fotos for sure.
@wahtisnormal I Hope your low mood will lift soon. Sometimes it helps to remember that those low moods are part of what alcohol does to you. So if you get through it now and donāt drink they will lessen in time and youāll feel better. If you go back to drinking they will get worse. You canāt make the bad mood go away now, but you can make a decision today, that will improve them in the future by not drinking today.
@Konrad55 Do you have some help how to deal with your emotions?
@JazzyS Glad to hear you could āsneakā a few walks into your day 
@PositiveThoughts So nice to read about your day with your child Thanks for sharing.
@DresdenLaPage Hope you get better sleep soon. Intense emotions need their time to work their way through you and that often also means difficult nights. Thanks for sharing your journey. Itās an inspiration.
144 sugar
8 UPF
15 gluten
7 dairy
3 overeating/binge
Today I will plan my meals and honour my satiety and hunger signals.
Only two things planned today: my weekly review and Cirque du Soleil. Iām very much looking forward to it 
However the day may develop, I wonāt try to deal with life by misusing food, eating or some other behaviour. No no. Not today.
Enjoy a day of peace, kindness and freedom friends 
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2nd check-in tonight.
I woke up from a trippy dream. Well, at first, it started with sleep paralysis, but then I knocked out. I was with my wife and kids in our apartment. It wasnāt this apartment weāre living in, though. It was the apartment where I experienced my childhood trauma. Anyway, we were getting ready to fall asleep; I went to check on the kids but couldnāt find them. I noticed that my toddler was standing on a table in the patio. It was a 2-story apartment. My heart started racing because I thought he was gonna go over. But when I went outside, my eldest was there also. He said it was fine, that he was watching him. My eldest told me to take a look at the sky because there were a lot of fireworks going off. There were dozens of fireworks going off left and right. No matter where we turned and looked. We went outside to see what was going on. There was no one out there but us. Then my wife looked at me, all scared. She told me it was just like the movie we watched āLeave the World Behindā. This did not happen in the movie, but in the dream, it did. In the dream, the movie had a scene with fireworks and then followed by nukes. We began panicing and told the fam to start heading back to the apartment. As we headed back, we saw these weird looking animals. They looked realistic as fuck. They looked like alpine ibex, but bigger and creepy. I told the kids not to be afraid and move slowly so we wouldnāt startle them. We started jumping over the patio (the apartment changed to ground level). As we jumped over, the ibex started charging at us. They cracked the stucco patio and jumped over. I told the kids and wife to go the living room. I threw all the furniture down to block them, but they kept coming. I threw the dining table, the couch, anything I could find. The animals/creatures kept coming. The kids and wife were all afraid. I told them that we were gonna have to fight them. We had no other choice. My wife grabbed some kitchen knives and I broke the legs off the dining table. They were about to break through the furniture, and then our cell phones got the nuke alert. My wife said, āthis is itā. Then I woke up.
I always have dreams about that old apartment. I swear that place was haunted. Not sure if Iāll ever recover from the trauma my dad put us through.
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Ofcourse those fractals and Sacred Geometry gifās are not made by me. Just something I liked and shared 
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.17
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 47
My husband was able to walk for a bit with his new outdoor walker yesterday. The sun shined on us while we where walking. It was nice.
Weāre trying for another one this afternoon.
Still not nice weather here but itās supposed to clear up.
Friend came over as he said yesterday. Made a mess our of my kitchen, had a few beers, questioned my life choices and what I wanted to do with my life now when Iām not working. And what I have for plans for my garden.
I said I donāt know, didnāt really want to make him a part of any plans, or tell him at all, because he usually makes fun of them.
Then he proceeded to eat all the crisps Iāve saved for family movie night. So I gave up and watched Tombstone with the boys instead.
Love me some Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer)
Not sure if said friend was more annoying then usual or if I was more cranky than usual.
But he leaves the village and moves to the neighbor village next week, so he wonāt come for any more spontaneous hangouts. (Itās a 20 mins one way drive) Thatās nice 
Thatās all Folks.
Wishing yāall a wonderful Sunday.
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1772
Weather is changing for the worse here which is a pity as I have a mini trip planned to the south to meet a friend and do some hiking Monday and Tuesday. Well, will see. Meeting her is always a pleasure and weāll see what happens with the weather and adjust our plans accordingly.
I did enjoy the last coupe of days outside. I (we) do need outside time, to see the sun, to meet other people. I loved to hike through town yesterday - even when Amsterdam is bloody crowded these days, both with tourists and with the younger wealthier folk that can afford to live here now. Itās still my town. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
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This is why I prefer to call my journey one of discovery instead of recovery. Iām not sure thereās stuff to recover. But there is so much to discover, how I can live my life well -instead of disappearing into nothingness by using and drinking- , how I can process what happened, how I can make something out of the mess that happened before. How I can live a life worth living. How I can love life and myself. Hugs friend. Youāre not alone.
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Incredible photos! Love them.
Day 27, canāt remember if I did a check in or not but ah well. Found myself thinking about a mixer when we had our pizza delivered tonight with some Pepsi.
I said to my wife that the only thing I wanted was that initial 20 minutes buzz, but the following few hours and days would not be worth it.
I prefer to feel 100%, 90% of the time, rather than 10%, 100% of the time.
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Thank you for sharing these every day. I really do enjoy them. I love all kinds of playful media and yourās are just so very personal, even if you share something someone else has made. I love the personal vibe here. Itās like getting to know someone on a very intuitive level. It always makes my soul very happy. So once agian: Thank you friend! 
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Day 295. I have an Italian lesson first thing. Just booked my road bike in for a service tomoro. I use to climb and cycle alotā¦ I havenāt cycled for about ten years now? Itās gonna hurt when I go out next weekend. First tho bike needs a complete service and quite a few things replacing. I know that feelingā¦ But I donāt want to replace it. Iāve had it for a long time
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Iām your Huckleberry! 
Thatās a great movie!
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It really is. Doc is the best 
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@john_connor1337 Get a new sponsor. Iām no expert, but now is the time you need the meetings and the support the most. The first week is the absolute hardest. Go to meetings, talk to people, post on here. Stay connected and fight for your sobriety with everything youāre got.
Day 456.
Got loads on today but Iām struggling to get started. Iām starting to feel burn out from the constant working these past couple of weeks. But just gotta push through today and tomorrow and then I can take a few days off to decompress.
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