Checking in daily to maintain focus #65

[CATMANCAM]

@Lighter congrats on 50 days and sleep
@Laner well done for pouring out what you found and making sure nothing else was lurking around👏🏻
@Butterflymoonwoman sending well wishes for your son I hope he’s feeling better quickly 🩵
@john_connor1337 welcome back congrats on coming right back here and with honesty
@zzz that’s so cool
@JazzyS congrats on 900+ days smoke-free

1349 days no alcohol.
814 days no cocaine.
329 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.

Today I caught up here first, then managed to get back to sleep for another hour or so. Also finished another book, the one I had considered not sticking with. Did some meditations.

Unfortunately I also reset all of my eating disorder counters. Dealing with the consqueces. I’m done with the choas now.

Tomorrow is a brand new day.

I hope you’re all having wonderful sober weekends.

🩵

[Whereswaldo]

You’re stronger than most people mate! Look at you trying your hardest, continuing to try to give up. A lot of people simply give up on giving up. You are stronger and braver than you realise. Lean on us here. Read books about coping with addiction. Avoid seeing those who aren’t on your side. You’re changing your life for the better and it scares people. Be proud of what you’re doing!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Hey friend, im glad u came back right away. Honestly… i was very much like urself and has to learn the hard way. But what matters now, is that u know that even alcohol can pose problems for u. I know for me that i cant drink as well (even tho alcohol was never a DOC for me). The disease of addiction doesnt matter what substance it is. Im glad ur back and know what u need to do moving forward for ur recovery

[K_S]

Hi, everyone!
I hope everyone is well.

I fucked up today, I thought I had it. Tomorrow will be Day 1, again. Today would’ve been 4 months. I do understand it’s not the end & that everyone gets a chance to relapse but not everyone gets a chance to recover. Cunning, baffling and powerful, I thought I had it, but I fucked up.

[john_connor1337]

Thanks homies, yeah I think this was one of those lessons I had to learn the hard way due to my arrogance/stubbornness. I’m really low on energy and dopamine/motivation right now, but I picked myself back up and gonna keep chugging along the sobriety train. I’m gonna try to join a meeting tonight if there is still one available, or worst case I’ll join one tomorrow. My sponsor says I gotta pickup a newcomer tag again and he says once I have enough sober time we can meet again. I’m very thankful that he is choosing not to drop me as a sponsee.

I think I’m starting to truly understand why Cocaine Anonymous and other 12 step groups are all about staying sober from everything not just one substance now and changing one’s mindset on life. I realize I always go overboard with like every substance ever; it was never just cocaine.

I think my mind is trying to fill some hole in myself when I’d use substances. I always feel kinda depressed and low energy/motivation, no matter how my life is going. I never just feel content with what I have and I always have this underlying feeling of general uncomfortableness. Like last night, I remembered why I seemed to like cocaine so much. It was like it made me feel energized, awake, and it would numb whatever I was feeling so much that I could just lay down and do nothing and just feel content and relaxed.

Obviously I can’t just use cocaine to fix the way how I constantly feel though. Cocaine has way too many negatives to make it worthwhile. I need to change my mindset in some way.

[john_connor1337]

I feel, coincidentally we relapsed around the same time except I last used yesterday not today. I guess all we can do is pick ourselves back up as soon as possible, reflect on what went wrong like how it happened, take measures to prevent it from happening again and move forward. Don’t beat yourself up over it, my addiction therapist says I need to practice self-compassion to help me move forward. Maybe that will help you move forward as well. Good luck homie

[Cjp]

Aww man @K_S sorry to hear that baffling addiction conned you. Please do get back on track and double down on your recovery efforts.

[JazzyS]

Hey Kenny…I’m sorry that you relapsed. Do you know what caused the relapse? Was it the milestone?
I know for me when I made it more than a day I would say I had the shit under control and I didn’t have a drinking problem. Until this last time I never had more than a handful of days. You did make it this far and I know you will again.

I’m glad you are not beating yourself up over it and that you are right back here ready to restart your timer.

[Laner]

Thanks! I had a bit of a panic when I found it but am proud of myself for what I did. And I just woke up from the most fantastic nights sleep. I’m feeling good and refreshed this morning!

[JazzyS]

@Laner

I just woke up from the most fantastic nights sleep

Oh that’s a makes me so happy to hear. Absolutely love this for you.

You should be proud of yourself and I do hope you have a fabulous day ahead

[Collins]

Day 1296 of continuous sobriety and 11 months smoke-free

[Laner]

Thank you! I’m heading out of my morning hike then will work. It’s so much easier for me to deal with all this stuff when I get a good sleep. And thanks for the meditation tip. I found some something similar to try out for those more difficult nights. Hope you have a good day…or sleep? Whatever time zone your in😅

[icebear]

Checking in sober.

[RosaCanDo]

How’s things, Drew? Has springtime managed to get to you up there yet? Feels like it just showed up here last week. Hope you’re doing well.

[MrFantastik]

141 days
Been trying to load this app all day without much success, but seems to be all good now.
Quick check in after work before I go walk the dogs.
I always feel most grateful for sobriety after passing a new ‘first’ and realising how good it is sober. Last night it was going to watch a fight night sober, again as with most sports, drinking and going to watch the fights went hand in hand for me, but man it was so good to be there sober

[TheWolf]

Good morning. Nearly 7am here. Just woken up fresh as a daisy for the 350th time. I don’t come and check in very often, but I’m still going strong. Have a restful Sunday

[NewBeginning1]

Its been a little bit since ive been here. Havent used since March 20th. Its been really really tough and have come close to slipping up a few times but its getting better.

[Ashley_luvz_starz]

Quick check in tonight,

1 year 23 days C/S
23 days TF

🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

[Mno]

1779 From my shopping round yesterday

Last day of my vacay. Thinking of something nice to do. I want to write and I want to watch the cycling on TV, but I also want and need to get outside. Decided against going on a bike ride, too much wind, too cold, too alone. So I’ll take a hike through town soon, early, before the tourists and the day trippers clog the streets. And return home and do my solitary stuff too. And get back to work tomorrow with a clear head.

Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.

@K_S

I thought I had it, but I fucked up.

Could be the soundtrack to my (or anybody’s) life. Get up, dust yourself of and move on. You lost a battle but you didn’t lose the war Kenny. Learn and grow from this.
@NewBeginning1 Good to see you Matt. I am 100% sure is that we need connection in this (sober) life. You got enough of that? Recovery takes lots of work my friend, and it shouldn’t be about fighting our addictions all the time, it should be building another life for ourselves. Gongrats on a full month of sobriety, that’s awesome work. Keep going.
@TheWolf Good to see you Wolf. Congrats on 350 days.
@john_connor1337 Learn friend. Keep learning. As you seem to be doing. It’s always scary and sad to see people relapsing, as it is never sure they have another quit in them. Keep moving forward, away from using, using people, using places, a life where using has a place. It hasn’t.
@CATMANCAM Just a hug my friend. I admire your tenacity. And love for life.

[MrsOdh]

I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 54

Luckily our Mechanic guy, I call him Engiy Benjy from that old Cartoon. Didn’t stay long yesterday, he came, complained about everything and the food. And decided that he didn’t want to stay when I questioned his new online dating idea.

He’s been getting in a site where you can date ladies from different African countries. And now he’s been talking with a beautiful lady from Kenya. He said that he’s going to fly her to Sweden (they’ve been chatting for a week) and make her stay here. So she can get a job and start learning Swedish. And then of course get married.

I pointed out a few things, for example that he has No clue if this site is legit or just a scam. That it might not be the same girl that actually shoes up, that he probably don’t want to be charged with trafficking.
And that it’s not an easy task to even get a residence permit here if you don’t have a good reason. Meeting someone online and get married isn’t a good reason.
Then I asked if he has told her how he really lives (In a trailer on a friends farm)

My husband has an old work mate who’s married with a lady from Thailand (They’ve been married for about 5 years) she can’t get a residence permit because there’s a pretty big age gap, and they can’t prove that they didn’t marry to get her that permit.

So Engine Benjy got mad at me and went home.

I guess it was a bit unnecessary of me to say anything at all. But I had to. I don’t have anything against people from wherever they might be, I live different cultures, languages and all. But I can honestly say that I don’t like the idea where our old farmers go to Thailand (which is most common here) or any other country and get back home bringing a girl half their age. Who ends up like some kind of housemaid.

I absolutely don’t have anything against this girl from Kenya either, she seems very sweet. It’s the idea, the exploiation that I have a problem with.

If that makes people mad, so be it. I don’t care. Still think it’s wrong. Still going to speak my mind about it.

Enough with problems for today, well actually that was yesterdays problems.

14 y/o did really good at the folks dance anniversary yesterday. It was so nice to see how fun he had. They also had a costume for him to try. It was way to big, but with a few fixes it’ll fit. He was welcome to borrow it everytime their are going to dance in public. He is so proud. It’s our local costume, for our village, and not only for Sweden.

The girl he likes (it was only the two of them showing up, rest of the teens didn’t) also has our local costume so they will match. They are going to dance in about 6 different places in our county during midsummer. I’ll try to get a picture for you guys then.

Besides that a nice and lazy Sunday.
I have a small problem with not feeling bad about my new calorie intake. New nutrition coach (Specialist for peri-menopaus nutrition) says that I should try to aim for around 1900 kcal. Instead of my usual 1000. Problem is that I feel bad when I do it. But it’s worth a try, if it helps.

Wishing y’all a wonderful Sunday.