Day 30. I got my 30 day keychain at NA last. I almost didnt get it because i didnt feel like 30 days is much of an accomplishment since my longest streak is 5 years clean. I felt like any thing less is disappointing but after going and hearing others share 30 days is a fucking accomplishment and i am proud of it.
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checking in 58 days. Working to keep am maintain peace today. Trying to have a good work week but leave me work when appropriate to spend time with family.
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@butterflymoonwoman how are you doing Dana? Hope your night went smoothly. Thinking of you and sending you love.
@Just_Laura I do love those type of cleaning days. When we get to the things that donāt meet the daily / weekly clean schedule. I used to love rearranging my space every spring as a new beginning of sorts. Have fun with it.
@MrsOdh I am not a mother Sophia but know that a motherās worry is never over. My mother is worried as my 44 year old sister is travelingā¦ checking in with her multiple times a day. I do hope your daughter is safe and has a fun trip and knows how much her mom loves her.
@james83 great work on 40 days James. Good to see your health improving and the positive attitude my friend. Keep it going.
@CHASE.E.U woot wootā¦30 days is amazing work friendā¦ totally something to be proud of. Keep up with your solid efforts 
Checking in on Tuesday morning 
Didnāt sleep all too well but thatās ok. I feel refreshed. On my way to get some tests done. Feeling positive today.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free dayā¦ sending you all so much love 
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Day 15
Had a looong day at work. Had to go into the bottle shop after work to buy a stout for hubby to cook with. The thought of buying a roadie was strooong but I was stronger 
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Day 3
Just checking in.
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Checking in on day 286. 
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Day 19 here! I had another anxiety attack this afternoon. It came on suddenly and at a time when I was relaxed. I was able to get over it fairly quickly but my anxiety has been pretty high since then. Other than that my day has gone well mostly was kept busy with work things. Iām starting a new translation project that has me a bit hesitant because itāll involve multiple languages so itāll be a longer project. Anyways itāll keep me busy over the summer which is my off season for my other job.
This anxiety attack problem has me on edgeā¦I can usually tell when one is coming on and prepare or get myself into a mindset to get through it but these ones have felt different. So suddent and unexpected. With no trigger I can recognize which I find frustrating.
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Wishing you the best of luck in your tests Jazzy. All my best thoughts go with you!
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I had a drinking dream last night, and it was very unsettling, because there was no struggle, just matter-of-fact drinking. Then I was consumed with regret, thinking how could I just slip back into it so easily. And then I woke up and I felt such relief and gratitude that it was just a dream.
I guess my brain is telling me to never let my guard down.
Day 621 or something.
Hope everyone has a serene, soul-soothing day.
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@acromouse Donāt be fooled. It may sound like I have energy but I donāt always use it correctly. If the most important job to get done is the dishes, Iāll clean everything else around to avoid doing it and usually run out of time 
I know my room will take so long bc it has so many hidden memories that Iāll be distract me for hours.
@Laner Thereās a difference between anxiety attacks and panic attacks. Panic attacks are more sudden and severe. When I was having them, it created even more anxiety over having another. I know how scary that can be but remember, you can control your thoughts. The more worry, the more they can spiral out of control. I learned to find a quiet space and focus on something peaceful while deep breathing and trying to relax as many muscles as possible. When your body feels tense, your mind will too. Yoga and meditation helped me greatly. Please take care
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Thanks for telling me this. Iāll have to read up on the differences between the two. Is probably panic attacks Iāve been having then. I try to focus on my breathing and today I put on peaceful music. That helped me relax a bit and get out of it but Iām definitely feeling anxious thinking about how or when another one will happen. I feel afraid about having one when Iām around people or when Iām in town or the such.
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Day 53
Last night was like a nasty insomnia night- asleep at 9, wide awake at 12:30am. So I just tried to shrug it off and get up. 2 giant cups of coffee, then I felt cold and laid down. Out till 830! Insomnia is really weird stuff. Nothing could stop me from getting 8-9 hours last night. Guess I hit a certain point. Gives me hope that sleep miiiight start getting better 
Iām ready!
Iām going to exercise extra today. And try to meditate again. Itās hard because my brain jumps from thought to thought and never stops. Still, Iām not the only one.
So happy to have this place to come to. Iām so tired of doing this alone. It never sticks. I forget unless I hear reminders.
Lots of love
X
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Never alone with us bunch of addicts doing our best
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24 days sober today. Challenging week with work and personal life but got through it sober 
have a good day
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Day 10 morning vent:
Sad today. Coming to terms that I have a crush on someone I shouldnāt and its really uncomfortable. Heās married 
I miss my fiance who passed. I wouldnt have to deal with this kind of shit if he was still here. Just wanna curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.
Trying to focus on the positive. Leaving in 20 minutes to meet with a scientist at the local arboretum who I will be volunteering for. Going to be collecting tree samples and data for him and Iām looking forward to a new experience that will hopefully start to give me some ideas for a career change. A bit anxious but I know I have no reason to be (its not like they expect volunteers to have any experience), and it will pass.
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Majority of mine happened at night just before I was going to bed. I only remember one happening at work, but it was when I was alone at the end of my shift. Another thing that helped was to cut caffeine out completely for a while. I used it a lot to get thru exhausting hangovers but apparently didnāt need as much after quitting.
Iāll throw this out here as well bc others may benefit. This is scientifically proven the most calming song in the world. It lowers anxiety, blood pressure and breathing rates.
I do hope this passes quickly for you 
Could be these were just isolated incidents. All in all, great job staying sober! 
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I donāt usually have much caffeine. Black tea sometimes but not as much and no coffee. So far the ones that have happened has been during the middle of the day during times that are usually more relaxing. Iām hoping that they pass after some time goes by.
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If it does continue, or become debilitating, you can always reach out to your doctor. I didnāt bc Iām the āwait and seeā type, and I also think I can do everything myself, even if that means extra suffering 
Plus, Iāve been addicted to all the pills at one point or another, so I wouldnāt trust myself. After the amount of intentional suffering I caused myself, a little more wasnāt so bad to endure to end up where I am now. Take it easy friend
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Iāll give it some time and see what happens. See if it tappers off or gets better. Closest doctor here is a 5 hour drive so that isnāt the easiest option. And its really complicated to get a lot of medicine like that here. I tend to avoid that option until it really becomes a more urgent need. But Iāll keep it in mind if it gets worse or keeps happening consistently for a longer period of time. Iāve been keeping track of the incidents so I can track how often it happens and see if thereās anything in common when it happens. But really hope itās not going to be ongoing. Thanks for all the advice
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Why, thank you Tragic F! 
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