Hey, thanks!
Yeah definitely not strong enough to make me fold, I do feel like something has changed recently with me wanting to (no matter how hard it gets) give it a real go.
I get ye with your routine and eating. Everyday I seem start off on the back foot, get up an hour later than I should, go to bed 2 hours later than I should and stuff my face with family size bags of minstrels before bed… constant struggle 
On that note, I better sleep!
Thanks 
I spent too much at the plant store! Of course I did. I was feeling spendy and I’d never been there, and it was beautiful! I paid for the experience. Uncrowded, soft Mexican music playing with row after row of gorgeous plants and trees, pottery, I needed that trip! A wee reward for my 60 days coming up.
I planted a bunch of rosemary and the smell got lodged in my sinuses so everything smells like rosemary. Got purple Sage ,lantana, lavender, and some geraniums for pots. I accidentally bought a deer flower. Guess it’s staying in the house! 
. I have no idea how to deal with them but I’m learning 
Love getting outside and digging. Will help get me in shape so I’ll keep going 
sober hobby yeah . I’m happy today
Are you managing to get any sleep at times? Any news on when you’ll get overnight help again?
Checking in Wednesday evening. Just another busy day at the shop definitely need to hire at least one more person before it starts getting hot. Just haven’t had a spare minute and there’s just not enough hours in a day. Need to eliminate sleeping 
I’ve already cut that to 5 hours max per night which has been my normal since not drinking. Going to head to the gym and relieve some stress then a little grocery shopping and head home. Hope everyone is having a good day.
Hey friend, i was able to nap for an hour and a half yesterday once hubby got home from work. And will probably try to rest a little bit today if i can. We just finished supper. I have to do tonight. Then a nurse comes tmrw. Then i have to do friday night (along with working sat morning). A nurse comes in for sat and then i have to do sun, mon, and tue. That takes us to the end of the month. Not sure what May holds. Idk when nurse vacations are up. Praying that by May 1st, ill have regular care again.
@k_s Great work on your journey and day 2 friend. Sending you strength as you process through the things you need to. Try not to do this alone – sometimes our loved ones or our support systems are needed to help us along.
@mno hope your day went well friend. A funeral can always drudge up a lot of emotions. Big hugs 
Grateful you could be there to support your friend.
@butterflymoonwoman Glad you were able to practice some self care friend. Hope the shift went smoothly. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Very productive day you had on Monday love – remember to pace yourself. It is ok to just let things pile up if you need some “me” time. Glad you had another good night Dana – deep breathes my friend – you are very impressive. Sending you hugs and love!
@just_laura I had bad spring and fall time allergies growing up. Basically was allergic to everything. I am not sure but about 10 years ago they started getting easier to deal with and then one year I realized they were all gone. Read up on it and I heard that your body goes through cycles (maybe every 7 years) and you can shed allergies or gain allergies out of the blue. I have started to get hay fever back as of last year but luckily its not as bad as it used to be. I do remember the allergies taking a lot out of me and leaving me exhausted. I do hope you start feeling better soon.
@timetochange Way to go with your 10 months! Keep up the amazing work 
@whereswaldo Great to hear that your health results came back good. Keep working on your sobriety journey friend – happier and healthier times ahead
Too funny – always love reading your posts and yup even the ones filled with absolute upbeat positivity – great to see you doing so well in your journey!
@thumper1213 WOOT WOOT! 6 months is amazing work – hope you are doing well friend. Keep up with the amazing efforts
@noshame Great job on your permit – steps in the right direction. You are doing amazingly well with all your timers too friend
@james83 way to go with resisting the drinks at dinner and by playing the tape forward – your sober muscles are flexing my friend. Keep stacking up the days James!
It’s been a hot minute since I’ve checked in. Went through a bit of a downturn and just wasn’t feeling myself, although saying it that way is funny because having down moods is very much a natural part of my “self,” I would say. It’s the ebb and flow of life and I do accept that, but try to mitigate it as much as I can so things don’t get too dark. In retrospect this down mood came after the high of visiting my family and it was totally to be expected, I just often forget that. It’s hard to be so far away from them, even though they’re just a days drive away instead of the decade I spent living across the country from them, it still is a trek. It’s been several days now that I have felt a mood lift and the sun shining on me again. Literal sunshine has also helped a lot, with spring in full force here in Northern Iowa/Illinois finally. Having a better attitude recently has helped me handle some health issues with my old dog Lupe. Some of you were around when I lost my dog Chucho after an illness, a traumatic passing, but being sober made all the difference in dealing with the illness, the unknowns, the constant care and ultimately with his passing. I am grateful to be clear of mind and able to now, as then, manage Lupe’s vet visits, her medications and taking daily notes on her symptoms. I can be the kind of fur-parent I want to be by being sober and working through anxiety and worry in healthier ways. She’s doing great on pain and anti-inflammatory medication and we can still take our daily walks, which we both love and thrive on. These walks are important to my mental health and well-being, too, and finding joy in the small beautiful details around me is a favorite. Here are some from today’s walk together. And a pic of my baby ol’ girl for fun.
Sending love and sober strength, friends. 
Day
350 no alcohol
281 no vapes or ciggs
13.11 no form of marijuana
The driving lesson went well yesterday
I learned a lot thats on the test
I have 2 more lessons
Hounestly i was in pretty rough shape but if i remember what i learned the next lesson will be a breez. I do feel confident about getting my licence back. Next lesson is next week
Im up early with the kiddo. Me and the little guy are watching cartoons while mom naps 
Its been almost a year sence my last drink sence i moved in with my wife. And may 30th will be one year at my job. Time flys
Just trying very hard to move forward
@jeanine Great to see you checking in with your day 2 friend. Practice some self care if you can – I find that helps me overcome the bad feelings. It does get better – just keep pushing forward
@mrsodh Oh man Sophia – Nerve damage can be very painful and its hard to hear when they say nothing else can be done. How is your husband doing with this information? I know it can be daunting to hear and can take time to process. Sending you and yours love and comfort my friend. 
@goku2019 Hapy 5th birthday to your little man 
Oh so cool to be celebrating dual birthdays in the family. I share mine with two second cousins. Hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating today. Sorry about the damn dreams – they can be so real and devastating. You are still doing great with your 921 days friend! Keep going strong
@scorpn Great to see you friend. I am sorry for the overwhelming emotions and urges to SH. I know you are always on the go and caring for everyone around you. Are you able to find time for yourself – some self care? The 1 year milestone can also be playing tricks on you and all of this may be causing you to look for an out let. You are strong my friend and the fact that you have set your mind to the 1 year mark – I know you will get there and beyond! Here for you friend – sending you loads of love 
@juli1 Ah fuck those feelings – they are so damn annoying and creep in and make you self doubt and self hate. You are a beautiful vibrant woman Jules! Full of life and energy. I do hope you were able to make it to your yoga session. I am hoping that you are able to start talking to someone in real life about these thoughts so that you can maybe see what triggers them and are able to see them for the lies they are. You are a beautiful rockstar my friend – hope you are able to see this for yourself
@danwood85 So sorry that you are struggling today. I am glad the picnic helped today – beautiful pic you shared earlier today Are you able to find things to keep yourself busy when these urges hit? Keeping my mind and hands occupied did help me pass the urges (they do pass my friend and they do lessen over time). Not sure about the friends situation – I know personally I had to isolate and actually move on from some friends as being around them was triggering and detrimental to my sobriety.
@wahtisnormal way to go with your double 1’s girl! Sleeping / working / eating – NOT DRINKING – you are crushing it! This is all I could manage for so long and you should just be proud that you are laying your head sober on that pillow at night. Your body is doing a lot of recovery so do not think you are not being productive. You are healing my friend. Are you able to sleep with ear plugs or a white noise machine? Maybe they can help with the early morning noise? I know it is hard to be awoken that way. Unfortunately, even when I was living alone I had street construction or loud unexpected noises in the neighborhood that woke me up so I had to find a way to create my own space. You are doing great work Zoe – do keep going strong my friend
@steve14 oh man I do hope you are able to find some help soon – I know the process of searching/finding / training can be a lot of work in itself. Sending strength my friend – 5 hrs sleep can’t sustain you for long. Hope you had a good gym session
@rosacando Sorry for the downturn in emotions. Yes, they are a part of life but still stink when we experience them. You gotta remember that you are not alone and can lean on us when you are going through something like that. Grateful that your mood is lifting. Continued health for you and Lupe – what beautiful pictures
Checking in on Wednesday afternoon
490 days free of alcohol and weed
905 days free of cigarettes
Grateful to have made it to the clinic in time this morning. Glad that i was able to also make it in time to meet my new renters (well just the wife) but had a good chat and handed over keys and went over appliances and such. She was a very sweet lady and i feel good and relieved to have my house rented for the next 2 years. I am not in any shape to live there so at least it is not going to waste (not ready to sell it).
I was able to enjoy some time with mom and then crash hard… not sure why but my body is in full sleep mode. I am glad that i was able to get up and catch up here. Will try to get some accounting work done if my mind allows it and then off to bed
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Thanks Jazzy, always appreciate your kind words.
Today is day 38. The last 8 days has flown by, I think counting to a month was difficult but the last week has flown by.
Getting to spend time with my little man today on Australia’s ANZAC day public holiday is nice. Working on more of a routine through the day to align with daycare so hopefully he sleeps better during naps.
Heading to rock climbing centre this afternoon when he wakes up. They have a ninja warrior section for kids and he’s in a massive jumping and climbing phase at the moment. I’ve found rock climbers to be some of the most genuine and down to earth, healthy people around so if he got into that I’d be happy.
I litterally thought it was thursday morning. Its wednesday night hahaha
I was looking outside and thought it was oddly dark. Hahaha. I thought it was a rain storm
oh this is exciting… i used to enjoy rock climbing (mainly indoors - only did some half attempts outdoors)… i hope you and your boy have a fabulous time.
now thats funny – glad you gained some time – i hope you are able to rest up friend. ive had moments like that when i am beyond exhausted.
Checking in. Had a very relaxing day - walked on the beach and sat in the sun and read a book. Even took a little nap. Wasn’t feeling triggered today. Everyone who stayed at the house today was drinking, but i kept to myself and did my own thing. The whole group went out to eat tonight, which was nice. Tomorrow is our day to make breakfast for everyone, so i have everything prepped and ready to go for the morning.
Hope everyone had a great day.
@Alisa I think drawing with my little one will be a good thing to do. Gets out the feeling of something crossing my skin, without leaving a new scar. I miss you too! I’m glad you’re still here too
@Butterflymoonwoman yeah I’ve been overwhelmed with work and kids and planning this trip. Seems like the things I need to do are never complete. I do think that the one year milestone coming up has subconsciously made me think things like I can’t do it. I’ve never made it this far, how do I expect to do it now? I haven’t been doing recovery things, even have pushed therapy sessions out because I haven’t had the energy. I hope you are doing ok especially with all of these overnights coming up.
@CATMANCAM I have been dealing with chf but not insured so I can’t go to the doctor to get medication…well i guedd i could, but cant afford it.
@JazzyS I will try to find some time for myself soon. Maybe I’ll rest tomorrow. Today was my first day off work since the kids had testing on the 10th. And my last day off before that was the 4th so I haven’t had any time to rest pretty much all month. I’m glad you were able to meet your new tenants and give yourself a couple years to not have to worry about your house!
Much love to everyone here. I will try to be more active again. Just have to get past this mental block. Odaat we’re all getting better
2y2m11d
I think things are finally starting to catch up to me. My mood has dropped drastically and im super irritable and just sooo tired. Its like the 2nd and 3rd and 4th wind that i had have now disappeared. Im praying 
that my son is feeling well enough to go to school tmrw. I need the rest (even tho ill probably want to hit the gym to gain some sense of normality lol). Going to put my son to bed and then shower and get ready for another night. Hope everyone is enjoying their night!
I do hope the shower helps wake up the body. I am glad you will have a nurse tomorrow to give you a much needed break. You are a tough momma Dana. You will get through this night my friend. Here for you if you need … sending you loads of energy.
Also many healing vibes for your son…hope he is well enough in the morning to go to school 
The shower was wonderful! That and some frosted vanilla body lotion helps me feel like a new person lol. I prayed in the shower (its the only place where i get some me time to just chat with God) and i just needed to reconnect and absorb more faith. Thank u for ur support Jasmine! Love u lady Enough about me… How are YOU doing?
Love you too dear friend…so happy that you got some me time (a shower is a lovely place to breathe)…a nice scent to feel good is a lovely bonus. Glad it helped
I’m good love…just super tired and trying to find some normalcy myself. Have managed to stay in a positive mindset which always helps.
@JazzyS thank you so much for the advice. I am trying allowing myself the grace to listen to my body.
Second check in- still day 2 Today I took a couple of naps. It was very helpful. Focusing on being alive and present. I read a quote “Grateful to have woke up instead of coming to. Free from the burden of guilt, shame, and remorse.” Amen!
Have a good night everyone.
