I find the puffiness is always there in the face of drinkers… that said, I don’t look at them in judgement. I understand them, and I sympathize with the struggle.
Wish they could see and understand the beauty of sobriety and could escape whatever demons tie them to that bottle…
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I completely agree, I don’t mean for the question to sound judgemental either. I wouldn’t have ever given it a second thought when I was drinking, but I think now I’ll be able to more empathetic to those with a problem and forgive their short temper or attitudes.
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Thanks Jeanine,
I just call it garden mulch, probably garden soil is a better term. It’s just a richer soil premixed with organics.
The beds start with a layer of clean cardboard, then some cut up tree rounds ,branches, then a couple inches of last years leaves. We then add the garden soil, then a mix of worm casings, chicken or sheep manure, and a bit of hay… and stir, lol.
We usually get a pretty good yield, but being only a few years here, we still experiment with what works best in this climate.
At the end of the season of garlic goes in for overwintering, we cover with a good layer of seaweed and then some hay… the beds that we’ve had for this our third season is very healthy soil it seems…
Best of luck on your gardening adventure. I’ll post some pics when the area is done as we are still doing a compost out there, landscape fabric and covering with mulch and I think a couple arbors the wife wants me to build yet. She keeps me hopping… first though I need to move a shed we have about 50’ and take roof off and put on greenhouse panels, addd storm glass door to front and a window in back for cross breeze then refinish the outside… I’m supposed to have that done before I head back to work a week Mon…lol
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Day 56
Eight weeks! Creeping up on 2 months. I’m trying not to think about the milestone too much, but I’m really happy.
It will be my birthday next Wednesday on my 2 month anniversary 
Broken sleep last night but better than the last patch. I’ll be mostly ok for whatever, but I’m going to do a lot of quiet things at home. Stormy day.
So strange being in town the last two days. Everything seemed so loud, angry and chaotic. I remember feeling it when I was at my last job. Angry, exhausted people in a big hurry. But they never get caught up. And never stop trying to ‘win’. I’m ready for a new life. 
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Thank you Billy! Yes, I am a bit bull-headed. Might explain a few things… 
Beltane, May Day, Grandma and me! I bought myself plants as an early gift, leaving plenty of time for more sober shopping 
Enjoy your day!
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Day 108 AF
Day 227 CF
Checking in. Blessed Friday. Work has been going well. Happy to be back and motivated to do my best every day. The blessings of recovery are endless. Never going back to hell. Have a wonderful day all! 
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87 days AfmfA
I finished my test today “with distinction” for the key user in an ERP system, specified for material management. Brain still seems to work quite good.
My mood is better.
Tonight I will hit the pool, so I am very happy of course 
Tomorrow the keys will be handover to the fucker, lol. All I want is silence and my caution! Afterwards I need to c the optician as something went wrong with the axis blahh.
Then I invite mom for a Thai lunch as little celebration of the certificate and finishing the apartment topic!
Love you guys 
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Day 185.
Happy Friday, I hope everyone has a great day!
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Second check in for today.
Have to make a big TRIGGER WARNING on this one.
The tweenie circus seems to be a never ending story.
Just when we thought things were all good we got a call from the social services in our village.
They facility wanted permission for going with tweenie to Denmark where here mother currently lives.
Tweenies baby brother have committed suicide, so There’s going to be a funeral.
The social service is going to attend the entire thing,and it’s just a one day travel.
Tweenie and her mother had plans for her to stay in Denmark “as long as needed” social services in both countries said No to that.
What tweenie doesn’t know is that the authorities isn’t sure about it being a suicide, cause the kid was much to young. And there was some kind of life insurance. I didn’t even knew we had that policy here. Though it only was in U.S
So the mother is under investigation now.
According to the social services there is some statistic of young kids (we’re not even talking about teens here) doing it,but it’s very rare.
And if the social services would let her go unattended there’s a risk that she doesn’t come back to Sweden.
I don’t know, I feel sorry for everyone involved.
It doesn’t feel a bit odd that someone can get away with burning down two of her own houses. Cheat and scam people in the entire country, run to another country do the same, change country once again, and when things seems good the youngest one commits suicide, and the mother gets insurance money once again.
She’s scary for sure.
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Oh I’m so sorry to read this. I don’t really know what to say except it’s good they said No and that the child has you 
This is very sad Im sending you and your family lots of hugs and prayers for the little one who passed and his sister. 
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@acromouse Sorry that you are still feeling ill Aga… glad you have the antibiotics and hope that the side effects leave your system soon. Sending you healing vibes friend – get better soon
@Danwood85 great work on realizing the weekend temptations ahead…we are here for you friend. Make plans for yourself so that you don’t find yourself having idle time …I find that by keeping busy we are less likely to do impulsive drinking. Stay strong Dan 
@Steve14 hope your day goes smoothly and you are able to find time to rest. 
that you don’t have to work over the weekend.
@MrFantastik ah man Marty…I’m sorry about your back. I empathize with the frustration of dealing with one thing after another. Just gotta remember that drinking will only add to issues to deal with rather than solve anything. Keep working your recovery m. I do hope you heal well soon and are not in any pain 
@catmancam thanks Cam… hopefully all goes well today. Head feeling heavy now…hope it goes away. Great work universe…I do love when it lends a hand. You are stronger than these lies Cam…keep pushing forward no binge today.
@Dolse71 great to see you checking in Paul… amazing sobriety timer
@MrsOdh wow… speechless to read this. Scary how people can think and act. Sending hugs and love and hope things work out in the best way possible.
Checking in Friday morning
Had a very stressful night sleep but woke up without my headache so that was good. Now my head is feeling heavy and headache creeping back…Fuck this BS.
Gotta get ready to meet sprinkler guy…hope I won’t have to spend all day at the house waiting for him.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day… sending you all so much love
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Oh man, I hope you find relief soon Jazzy. It’s been too long to struggle with.
I’m wishing doctors get a good second wind on your diagnosis…
Get well 
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Thanks Nick. Appreciate the well wishes friend.
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Day 6
just checking in.
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Thank you Jazzy I hope you get things sorted and a restful sleep is round the corner. Take it easy bud:+1:
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Today was rough. I volunteered to give a lesson at an elementary school (definitely not my favorite thing to do in general) but the atmosphere at the schools here make me feel depressed and angry. I hate seeing teachers hitting kids and shaming them. I went expecting to see that today but it was so much worse. I had to have tea with all the teachers while there and all of them was drinking vodka. They kept pouring it into my glass and I nearly was having a panic attack looking at it. But I dumped it into a potted plant behind me…I told them over and over again couldn’t no but the culture here just doesn’t work that way. I couldn’t stay and teach the lesson. I just was too emotional and feeling all these cravings. But I also felt so guilty to let down the kids and that I didn’t stay for them. But I just couldn’t stay there with all the drinking and seeing this drunk teacher in the back. I had a panic attack on the way home and I am just very emotional now. I’m proud of myself for leaving and not drinking. I’m celebrating that but I will keep running into this every where I go. Even to innocent places like the bank, shops, to schools or whatever. I want to be able to not panic when I’m around it. I don’t want to never be able to volunteer at the school just because I know there will be drinking.
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This is a horrible situation you are describing. I’m horrified reading it.
I don’t know what to say. I’m just horrified.
I’m glad you got out and kept your sobriety in tact. Right now I would say that is the most important thing. I’m glad you felt comfortable sharing that here. Those poor children. I’m disgusted.
We must do whatever it takes to take care of ourselves first and protect our sobriety before we can put ourselves in a situation to help others.
Deep breathe. Gratitude. 
deep breathe. Gratitude.
big hug for taking care of yourself.
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It makes me feel sick to see to see this happening but it is why I like to volunteer at the school sometimes. I know the kids look forward to when I come. Soon school will be over but I will wait until next school year before going back. I think I need more time. My natural instict is to push through so I don’t disappoint the kids but I just couldn’t stay. I’m proud of myself for leaving and not drinking though. I am so used to putting everyone ahead of my own needs. It’s difficult but I need to start doing that more when it comes to my sobriety.
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