@butterflymoonwoman sending you big hugs love – sorry to hear about your day. Hope your son is feeling better and that you were able to do something for yourself for your mental health
@bomdhil thanks friend – appreciate your support and hell of a job on your 1 month 1 day!
Nastya I love going to cemeteries. I find them very peaceful and tranquil. I’m originally from CA. In CA there are missions that were built by the Spanish when they were settling the area. I used to go and sit in the adjacent cemeteries and take in the energy. It was like connecting directly with the divine.
You very well have been visited by a soul or spirit.
Checking in day 341 AF
Much better day. I’m choosing to not let the BS of other people affect me. My job can be very stressful at times and I’m reminding myself it’s only dental insurance. No one is going to die but the work I do at times can help to improve someone’s life. My company works with the underserved and I deal with a lot of kids in foster care.
I’m looking forward to the long weekend and hoping for some much needed time in the sun and pool.
@Soberbilly it took me along time to realize what AF meant too. lol.
@JazzyS No, I haven’t ever done a sleep study. My mother has, but it was bc she’s never been able to sleep longer than 6 hours a night. Results inconclusive. This is maybe the 10th time it’s ever happened. Someone messaged me last time with tips to avoid it.
@Soberbilly No, not in our underwear I always have work dreams but we’re working somewhere else. This time was in a school band room. Weird.
Weirder yet, when I was leaving to go pick up my daughter there was a random truck pulling out next to my car (I park behind the building and there’s only enough room for 1 other car and no one uses it). It kept stalling trying to back out and I asked if they were alright and she said “I used to live here. This place is haunted” Pretty sure they parked there for a private place to do drugs, as some do from time to time, but I thought it was weird timing considering.
463
Had my car in the shop today, which is the same plaza I do laundry. When I was pulling out I automatically turned on my right blinker bc I’d usually go that way to make the liquor store on my way home. It was such a weird, involuntary action, my mind was just like “Wtf?! Where did that come from?” Not a craving or thought of drinking, just an old habit resurfacing out of no where. Immediately negated but still unexpected. Never let your guard down
Milestones are tricky days, maybe that is one of the causes that your feeling down.
But besides that It’s hard to have so many people around you with sorrow and death. That hurts.
Glad you came here to vent and connect.
We are here and always listening
Maybe a check in on the daily gratitude thread helps you? Check it out: Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #6
Hope you feel a bit better soon and congratulations with almost 1 year sober!!
*Day 2074
It was an easy day yesterday, just me being a bit of a couch potato But also did my holiday laundry and catched up with some friends by what’s app. With not having Facebook ore Insta anymore I use what’s app more to connect.
I do not miss social media, glad I shut it all down a while ago. Ps I do not concider ore use What’s app as social media.
So I didn’t get the job. Didn’t know beforehand how bad that would make me feel or I wouldn’t have answered the phone call during my workday. It’s more the feeling of rejection than anything. Still very bad at handling that. Creative writing class wasn’t much fun either.
Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. On we go. Sober and clean, as nothing will come of anything when I’m not. Good days and less good ones. One day off today, seeing a physio therapist this morning for my shoulder. Recoup and regroup. ODAAT. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
Exactly that Chris. Life’s way too short to waste it on drinking or using drugs. That’d be just a total waste of time and effort. Let’s use our limited time for some constructive stuff, or at least at stuff we find some pleasure in doing. Stuff that makes up happy. Being under the influence never made me happy. I thought so. Early on. It was a lie. I was just hiding in my own little hole. Never again. Keep going friend. We’re in this together.
@SoberWalker I believe the difference re social media consumption is not about the platform itself but about the content and your behaviour. There is a fine line between connection and consumption. So e.g. I feel that organising a birthday party via messengers is connection. Me sitting on the couch in the evening and scrolling through insta-reals of pet videos is consumption. @Just_Laura I remember once driving for about 30km on the freeway until I somewhat realised I had taken the completely wrong route cause my habit had directed me instead of my actually conscious mind. I‘m glad it was only the blinker in your case @sarath_unrelax Good to see you stacking sober days @DanaM56 Thank you for doing your work. I really mean it. We usually are not aware of the countless people working behind the so to speak curtains and making all those systems we rely on daily actually work. Enjoy your well deserved weekend. @Jeanine Hope you get to feel better soon. @Butterflymoonwoman Just one thing: Don‘t be hard on yourself re food. I find it’s not about food itself even if it might feel like this. When my mind stops obsessing about food it will find something else to obsess about. There is always something. I‘m afraid that‘s just a design fault (or feature) of our brains. @Chosen2001 I‘m sorry life is so depressing right now for you. I totally get the ‚why‘ question. It‘s a very human question. Our strange need for meaning in our lives. Why can‘t we be just be happy? Or at least not care? But then we do. In times like these what helps me a bit are a few things. Maybe some of it might help you too: I stick to doing - as in actually performing - things that give me a feeling of meaning, even if it is just a little bit. It does not matter if I think them to be meaningful. The point is to experience the performance of something that will give me this feeling of meaning. This might be cleaning, or taking out the trash, or talking to a friend. This leads me to the second one: Connect with people. And then to the third one: Try to be of service. And last but not least: This will pass. And if you don‘t use during this time of feeling down, you will come out of it well and won‘t heap up more suffering on yourself and everyone else. I hope this passes soon @nastya_is_fighting I really like the idea to bring sweets to a cemetery Thanks for sharing those great photos with us. Wishing you strength and patience for tomorrow And I really have to visit Prague one of these days. @Lighter Really nice to hear your turkey & cat story. Glad to hear it made you feel better on such a gloomy day. What is an everlasting puzzle? @Juli1 I do not know your pool guy story. What I do these kind of situations if I feel like I can handle that, I sit down with the two conflicting parts of myself like if I was having a talk with real people. The one that wants to go to the pool and the one that is afraid of meeting the guy there. There might even be other voices involved. The difficult part is welcoming them and listening to their complains. Not making a decision until they had a chance to be heard. Not rejecting their grievances from the start. Staying with yourself and them with tons of compassion. In the end none of these voices make the decision and go or not go to the pool. It is going to be you. But you can not make that decision until you have all the emotional facts clearly in front of you. That‘s why you sit down and listen to them. To get a good idea what your wants and needs are. On the other hand this might be too much and you just toss a coin However you decide, we are here for you, you can come here and talk to us if things get stressful.
I am starting to find new nuances in the ways I relate to food and eating. I wrote a longer post on the binge eating thread but my conclusion is still: I will walk with kindness and mindfulness towards all that is me today. One day at a time.
As for plans I‘m still with the stoics: The day usually does not turn out as planned So I‘m aiming today for some design work, finally starting the prototyping phase. I might go with a friend for a walk, want to start organising my trip to Rotterdam next month, send my daughter off to my mum‘s, get some workout and yoga in the afternoon, and the most precious in the evening: clubbing
Have a good day of peace, kindness and freedom friends
Yes Aga, agree totally.
The fact that I have quit FB and Insta was because of that. That and fear of missing out.
Wanting to be nice to people I hardly knew
Better to stick around with the real people and you all ofcourse. Have a great day!
Hey Jazzy, not too bad thanks. I had a 13 hour shift yesterday. I’m a little achy today. Still sober Thanks for the mention. I hope you have a good day and that coffee does the job for you:slightly_smiling_face:
Doesnt even feel real tbh lol
Had a decent day, slept for like half of it but had a doctors appointment and went to muay thai for like 3 hours also went for a walk at a firest preserve and found some new really cool spots. Would like to do a picnic there in the future.
Working tomorrow night, excited to get more sleep tonight lol.
I’m sorry that the job wasn’t for you Menno. I read something in the lounge thread as a replay on @RosaCanDo her story about her job exit.
Someone replied that her job exit made space for a better opportunity. A better job.
I like that way of thinking:
“Omdenken” , you know what I mean (flipthinking).
It’s hard to do, but I hope it helps a bit
Well we all know it’s “easy” to reply to others then to do it ourself. I’m also a example for it.
A big hug Menno, you will deffinitely find a job that suits you. I know you will!
Checking in on Day 10 - I like seeing rounded numbers!
Have a horrid day today with various work meetings I really am not looking forward to. Focusing on getting through today only as come tomorrow it will be the bank holiday weekend