It’s wet outside, and I need find my rain gear to get to work dry. Once there I got a talk about something else with management today. But I’m thinking I should tell I’m not happy there at the moment. On the other hand: what is there to gain by doing so? It won’t change the fact.
Once caught in this cycle of doubt, self doubt mostly, it’s bloody hard to get out of it. But much much easier than when I was using. I even dreamed of having a big glass of spirits. It tasted awful btw. I’m sober and clean and I’ve got my wits about me. It’s just a bit hard at the moment but nobody said it would be easy. Living a good life, a life worth living takes work. And at times lots of it. So I better get going and make something of today.
Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love form Oude Kerk, where the protestant iconoclasts in 1566 removed the idols and other catholic symbols, but couldn’t reach the medieval imagery on the ceilings. I love that place and space so much.
@danam56 I’m sorry to read this Dana – sucks that he is being so negative. I am not one to give any relationship advice as its been a minute since I’ve attempted one. I do think you deserve to be happy and not deal with exhausting negativity. Sending you love and strength as you evaluate the relationship and pick a course that works for you @s_unrelax Way to go with your 1 week milestone. Glad to see you doing so well friend – keep it going @mrsodh Woot Woot 90 days Sophia – great work on your 3 months of sobriety @BJonns onns YES! Great to see you checking in with 1 week. You are doing great. The body does crave a lot more sugar during the initial few months of sobriety as its compensating for the lost sugar from alcohol… I just went with it and reminded myself that at least I wasn’t drinking. The cravings do die off. @james83 great work on getting past the cravings and protecting your sobriety. Sometimes we really can’t figure out the why but the important thing is to remember that nothing is fixed with alcohol. 75 days and thriving @tragicfarinelli Great work on not giving into the cravings and realizing that you need to step up the focus. I do think there are stages in recovery and the first few months are all about not drinking (adjusting to the new norm) and then we really start to work on ourselves and this process can be a lifetime of tweaks and adjustments. Just remember to take it slow and be gentle with yourself in the process Great work on your sobriety friend – you are crushing it @jonase great work on your 2 months of sobriety – keep it going strong @Rookie OMG I am getting super excited —should be any day now — hope your daughter is doing well @maestro Great to see you checking in Marty – so sorry to hear about the anxiety. I do hope that it eases for you soon. I find that sometime quiet meditation and deep breathing help me when I’m feeling anxious. Sending hugs @laner So lovely where you are at glad that you were able to talk to someone irl. Grateful to see you taking the steps towards healing – you are right that it doesn’t happen instantly or without effort. We are here to support you on your journey
@bomdhil Thanks friend I totally understand the desire to lose weight. You have cut out all these empty calories. Keep working on your recovery – I’m sure you will see the results for a healthier you soon @leveller Way to go with your 1 week milestone! I’m sorry to hear about your wife and your best friend. Hope that both have a healthy recovery. Remember that we are here and active all the time so you can reach out at anytime if you feel the need during the birthday party. Also take some juice or non alcoholic drinks like seltzer water with you if you can so that you have something to drink and are not feeling any FOMO. Wishing you luck with the party. @Vikingsfan Way to go with your 500+ days of sobriety. I totally agree that sobriety is way more than just not drinking. Way to go with adding holistic recovery to your journey. Keep up the fantastic work @seizetheday So sorry for your loss and having to deal with the anniversary today. Great job on finding a healthier way to celebrate his life. I am sure he is very proud of you and all your efforts @tailee17 AH man I’m sorry love. Hope you are not in pain and the repair will be a quick and easy process @davina_davis WOOT WOOT 5 months is awesomesauce! Keep stacking up the days Davina @ashley_luvz_starz WOW great numbers Ashley – congrats on all your timers! What a beautiful sober healthy smile @soberwalker UGH sorry that your muscles are hurting so badly. that is the worst part of starting off a workout regime. It does get easier but i do think the older i’m getting the more the muscles hurt and the longer it takes to recover Another beautiful picture Have fun playing the board games! @mno I know you are working through a lot lately and i want to say you that you are doing an impressive job at it - great to see you putting your recovery tools to use and working through the rough areas. Glad that spirit tasted nasty - your subconscious still knows that drinking will not be a solution to anything.
Checking in on Tuesday night - about to be Wednesday morning LOL
525 days free of alcohol and weed
939 days free of cigarettes
This lack of sleep and onset of allergies is not a good mix. I am barely coherent these days and it is super frustrating. I have to try and help out this weekend at a festival as none of our workers can make it and i am hoping that i can function LOL. I was a bit more active today and have been doing things to wear myself out but nothing is working. I’m sure i’m due for a good crash very soon.
Alright my sober peeps - wish you a wonderful addiction free day / evening
Sending you all so much love
Why not to vent? Maybe it gives no solution but it helps to get it out for you. I do not know what you do not like about your work but maybe they can change something ore add something to make the job more fitting for you?
I understand you are maybe a bit out of balance too because of the interview didn’t give you that job. Do you have new interviews on your agenda? Ore looking out for new? Do you know what you really want? (kind of job and job environment). Talking about it helps to clear things out for yourself, at least for me
Hope you will have a good day at work Menno, you will make this day work!
Day 621. Met an old friend for dinner. I haven’t seen her in many years. She noticed I wasn’t drinking (alcohol free IPA) and asked how long it had been. I remember in early sobriety struggling with this question. I’d get so uncomfortable. I’m training, I’m on antibiotics, I’m on a cleanse. It was freeing to just say I don’t drink and not feel a sense of shame or embarrassment about it. Celebrating small wins today.
Day 340. Wow. The year is in sight. My goal is tho to stay sober each day at a time. To keep being accountable all the time and this becomes the future for me.
Working till five today but it’s alot of admin and planning today wirh a meeting at 4.30.
Off to Liverpool tomoro. For a few days? Long drive but I am looking forward to seeing my family and visiting the city centre
Godmorning.
Sorry that you have a bad day.
If I where you I would speak my mind. It might not change the fact, but I’d you don’t tell them, they can’t work on changing anything either because they would be unaware that there even was a problem to begin with.
I used to take a lot, just keep on going staying silent and just take it. Won’t do it ever again, because it lead me to using drugs and drinking, if people have problems with me speaking my mind it’s on them. Life is to short and to fragile to stay miserable.
Self doubt and self confidence is a difficult thing to balance, and it’s easy to want to turn into something familiar that makes you not think at all. I stopped doing drugs years ago, but sometimes I still wake up in the morning with thoughs of going back.
But as long as we are aware of those thoughts we can choose not to do it. And I know that you know that better than most of us. You’ve been such an inspiration to me here, and is one of the reasons I keep coming back, and keep trying.
Because you’re so real, you’ve got bad days and good days, self doubts,and hard times, and you don’t only share the good ones. Saying that it’ll all be roses and picknics.
Hope your days gets better.
Wishing you all the best.
Checking in - 2 weeks sober now. Feels good to say that
The past few days I have found myself having a few AF beers at the points when work/life stresses would previously have made me reach for something alcoholic. They haven’t given me any desire to return to alcoholic versions but I’m not sure if what I am doing is ‘cheating’ to some extent?
its clear its old habits making me do it - so should I be concerned about it or do others find it’s perfectly acceptable provided it doesn’t result in a relapse?
I’m here, I’m alive I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 91
Thanks y’all for the gratulations to my 90 days yesterday.
Didn’t have anything to report then.
And nothing really today either.
Street fair market here today, going to check it out.
Husband got a new phone call from his doctor, his sick leave are getting questioned by the authorities, the doctor said he was going to try and fix that.
So far so good I guess.
My friend I broke up with in the beginning of this year has starting to contact me again with a new ess in his sleeve. This time he says that he thinks my 14 y/o might in fact be his kid.
He is not. But I can see why he might think that. Oddly enough that kid seems like a Carbon copy of my friends, both in looks, opinions and personality.
@MrsOdh Congrats on your 90 days! This friend of yours sounds like a hand full @SussexGuy Congrats on two weeks! You‘re doing great work I don‘t think AF drinks are cheating in itself. The question for me would be: Are they becoming another crutch for handling life like alcohol was? The problem with addiction is that at some point we try to solve all our ‚problems‘ with this one substance/behaviour. So if you want to explore this more you could try to find other ways to handle your stress situations. A walk? Exercise? Yoga? Meditation? Breathwork? Just sitting with it? Or anything else. So that in the future you have whole toolset for stress instead of only one thing - with or without alcohol. Don‘t limit yourself to bottles @Timetochange Enjoy your trip. Hope you have nice travel weather. @Hollieberry Congrats on speaking your truth out to a friend. Another freedom gained @DogtoothCowboy Keep going man! @JazzyS I am very sorry allergies and sleep deprivations are both hitting you Both very draining. Do you have some medical help available for your allergies? For me allergy season is thankfully coming to an end. And I am very glad I can put the seasonal meds away till next year February. @Mno I feel like it might actually do you some good to have a good old vent. This self doubt business sucks. And please this is just a thought but I feel like you might be the kind of person who tends to bottle things up a bit? I was brought up not to complain and I am a rather introverted person. But I am learning here and with my separation that speaking things out to friends, at meetings, here in writing, to other human beings makes things clearer for me. As hard as this is, it helps to break this mental circle. So in case you are not doing it: Do please talk about your issues as much as you can. Get out of your comfort zone on this one. With love , and once again thanks for your daily photos @SoberWalker Are you by chance overdoing it a bit Thanks for your daily photos. @s_unrelax You‘re doing great @DanaM56 Enjoy girl time! Great way of self care
189 sugar
53 UPF
60 gluten
39 dairy
1 overeating
I started listening to the ‚Brain over Binge‘ podcast somebody here recommended recently and reading the book a few days ago. It‘s an approach somewhat in the vein of ‚A naked mind‘ but with the focus on binge eating. I really like the perspective and find it helpful with separating hunger cues and urges to overeat. And especially my outlook on those urges, where they come from, what to do about them, etc.
Yesterday my brain gave me a break and I was able to start working on the first physical prototype of my game. It was very enlightening and I am starting to understand why the author of my workshop puts so much emphasis on building these.
So today I will spend this rainy morning happily playing around with paper, cardboard, dice, and household items. My daughter will be off to her friend and I should have a lot of disturbance free time.
My mum will come by later to pick her up for ballet lessons and we‘ll have a chat.
I‘ll probably have a walk, some yoga, maybe a dharma meeting in the evening. I still need to buy the train tickets for Rotterdam.
Let‘s stay in peace, kindness and freedom for today friends
Going twice a week is the idea, but my body has a hard time to adjust. It will become better! During the exercizes I do what I can, not more. So in that way I do not overdue I guess. Next training is friday, hope I feel better then so I can collect some new muscle strain
I would say it sounds a little worse than “a handful” and more like an escalation of the stakes on his part. You made it clear that you do not want to be romantically involved and now this is his latest tactic to try and force some kind of emotional involvement. It is dangerously manipulative. Take care.
At least these things are easier to handle sober, right?
glad that you were able to talk to someone irl. Grateful to see you taking the steps towards healing – you are right that it doesn’t happen instantly or without effort. We are here to support you on your journey 
Another beautiful picture 
Hope you all have a good one 
xx
This friend of yours sounds like a hand full 
Both very draining. Do you have some medical help available for your allergies? For me allergy season is thankfully coming to an end. And I am very glad I can put the seasonal meds away till next year February.
Thanks for your daily photos.
