Spent alot of time in the garden again. Getting a bit tired of the dragged out bedtime routine with my 3 year old. I KNOW these days arent forever, and I try to cherish them but MY GOD sometimes i just want you to say goodnight lol
Thinking about howbyou never know whats going on in someones day or life, and how its better to be kind and generous in that sense…but you can still have and should have boundaries around that. But jist, id rather be fucking nice you know? Like I ENJOY just being friendly and smiling at people. And thats my 2 cents for today. Lol. Sleepy eyes, going to tidy up and hit the hay xo.
Trying again. I spoke to my addiction therapist today, ended up throwing out my coke and tools again. I have the power to get through this. I just need to be able to beat my impulsivity. I’m going to seriously stay home every weekend. I do not trust myself around my friends because I always end up drinking and using substances. Even simply being around friends is a trigger for me to wanna use substances.
Evening check-in. Just put my daughter to bed after making dinner and spending the evening with her.
Last night was the first night of this season with my mountain biking group. We usually go out to a restaurant or bar afterwards. I stuck with nonalcoholic drinks last night. People around all thought it was a great idea, nobody questioned anything, and no excuses or reasons were needed at all. Nice to set that as my example with the group for the season. it was awesome. I ended up driving home with the gorgeous sunset, proud of myself, and satisfied with my choices.
Checking in at the end of day nineteen. Feels good to see the days rack up. Tired tonight so off to bed.
Have a good evening everyone.
“My abstinence is the most valuable thing I own. It is the key to everything else of value I have or desire to have in my life, including that life itself. And I guard it fiercely as such.”
Pms got the best of me at the end of the night. Finished an art project I’ve been working on for the past week and fucked it up in the end So angry I cried. Probably everything else bubbling up from underneath. I put on a bubble mask and turned on Bob Ross. Now I’m back to blah. Oh yeah, and my rent is going up $100 starting next month, said the letter in my mailbox today. As if I’m not fucked enough! Wish I were tired so this day would end already.
@lighter OMG I love it – 90 days and feeling the benefits of sobriety. So glad that your sleep has improved and the nasty early stage effects are behind you. Onwards to better days ahead – great work Marie @laner This is not an easy decision and I’m sorry that you are at a crossroads where you have to make it. Are you able to have an outlet when you travel (reach out to a friend or take a time out or??? ) so that if you feel like you are overwhelmed you can have a back up plan? Possibly take a friend with you on the work trip – may feel nice to have a bit of familiarity with you so you are not so alone? I am glad that you were able to supplement your income in other ways but understand that some travel is necessary to keep moving forward. This decision has to come from you as only you know how ready you are and what you are experiencing. We will all be here for you whatever path you choose. Sending you love and comfort friend. Hoping that the trauma workbooks are helping Just read your update and love the plan – great to test out the first leg and glad you are taking a friend. Baby steps my friend @tailee17 Sending you love and healing vibes – hope all goes painlessly smooth for you tomorrow @danwood85 OMG your pup is adorable. Don’t blame you for having trouble getting up Hope you got your lovely evening walk in. @falloutsign I find it best to pick a day and plan for it – stick to it. Make sure you are prepared with your go to’s (for when the urges hit) and your support. We will always have something coming up that will be stressful and make our minds want to prolong the quit date. This is why we just pull of the bandaid so to speak. Wishing you luck – join us on the grumpy smokers thread if you need more motivation and support @suechu Way to go with your 2 months friend – keep it going – it keeps getting better @wahtisnormal Great work on dismissing those urges and protecting your sobriety. Wishing you luck with the family reunion / wedding – know we are right here to support you if you should need. @bomdhil Thanks friend. Harder temptations? I’m sorry to hear that – it’s your addict brain trying to regain control. Do not give in friend – use your tools – connect here more frequently, hopefully you can engage in something that will keep your mind occupied until the urges disappear. Remember they won’t last forever and you are stronger each day sober @butterflymoonwoman WOW that guy was a prick and you handled yourself well my friend. I don’t think I would have been as composed. Glad that the universe intervened. Hope your baking has been going smoothly @john_connor1337 Great to see you back friend – Congrats on day 1 and throwing out all your stuff! Awesome plan to stay away from your friends and triggering situations / people. We really need to focus on ourselves and our recovery (especially during the beginning stages). Glad you have discussed this with your therapist and are taking the necessary steps to work your recovery.
To all you rockstars with your amazing milestones – ODAAT
Checking in on Thursday night
526 days free of alcohol and weed
941 days free of cigarettes
Was a very productive and active day… feels good to sit down and relax. My body is not happy with me and my inflammation is at an all time high but i really could care less. I am happy to be moving and shaking LOL. Its been cool today so that is a blessing as allergies are calm.
Had some moments where i wanted to rest with a nice glass of wine (i swear i could taste it) but i enjoyed my lemon water instead and grateful that i will be resting a sober head on the pillow tonight.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
love this all - glad you were able to get out and enjoy yourself – mountain biking and a great social gathering. You should be proud of your choices and your efforts!
I’m living today, Currently at office and having morning Green Tea Hangover free morning is really giving me energy and happiness.
@john_connor1337 Perfect !
This is a great start again, Always remember next time when you feel to take a drink that how the worse situation was before.
A drink would destroy your newfound happiness and take from you your self-respect and peace of mind.
Good morning everyone.
Day 9.5
Wife still in hospital having more tests today hoping she can come home today.
Marching on with not drinking and keeping busy at work.
Looking forward to better times ahead!
Have a good day everybody.
I nearly skipped creative writing class last night. Too tired, no inspiration, just wanted to stay home and do nothing. So glad I did go. We wrote together, we laughed, even cried a bit. I was exhausted afterwards but it really was fun and it gave me new energy as well. It’s a good reminder to sometimes push myself a bit, especially on stuff outside the box.
My long weekend has started now. Today is therapy day, both mental health and PT for my shoulder. I do need both. Need to do some serious thinking about my future. But wil find for some fun weekend stuff too. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober or nothing will come from it. Love.
@john_connor1337 It’s good to see you back here. I do feel you need more than just overcoming your impulsivity. You need a plan. A thorough one. You actually need to chance your life. Nothing changes when nothing changes friend. Let’s work this.
Checking in on the early hours of day
387 no alcohol
315 no vapes or ciggs(27days no nic/loszenges
50 no marijuana
Sometimes i get these feelings that i havnt felt sence i was a kid. Tonight i had a anxious feeling that felt like i was going to school in 1st grade. I hated first grade. My lunchbox that smelt like penutbutter and jelly. The chilly mornings. I hated it
The feeling is gone and i feel normal again. Even eagr to get to wotk tomorrow.
I have a lot on my shoulders
New baby
Work
Afrer months of preparation i have a driving test in june
Im in a house i can stay but not permanently and if decided id have to leave in the blink of an eye. Thank god my wifes grandparents are so kind to let me stay in the 1st place but you know… im in a place i dont own and that gives me anxiety a bit.
I don‘t know what it is, hormones, change in meds, whatever, I feel like shit in every manner possible: depressed, anxious, tired, exhausted, absolutely no motivation to do the most simple things, nauseous, headache, just awful.
I‘ll try to slog through the day and ask my doc later.
I hope the day brings us peace, kindness and freedom
I’m here, I’m alive I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 93
Need to move the lawn again.
Tomorrow there’s a Greaser/Vintage American car meet with another street fair market.
Our Mayor is going to give the kids tours around the square in his tank.
Yes he owns a tank, and yes it’s common for him to give tours for events.
Life on the Swedish countryside people
That’s all Folks wishing you all a wonderful Friday
So angry I cried. Probably everything else bubbling up from underneath. I put on a bubble mask and turned on Bob Ross. Now I’m back to blah. Oh yeah, and my rent is going up $100 starting next month, said the letter in my mailbox today. As if I’m not fucked enough! Wish I were tired so this day would end already.
Just read your update and love the plan – great to test out the first leg and glad you are taking a friend. Baby steps my friend 
Hope you got your lovely evening walk in.
