Day 4 
Have a nice day everyone 
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Day 342. Off to the Albert docks this morning, then coffee with a friend, lunch with my parents then out this evening with my wifeā¦
Liverpool is an interesting city, lots to do and lots of good places to eatā¦ Hotel is cheap, cheerful and has parking. Which is good for going out and about in the car to see folks
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Sorry about that Aga, have you made a big change in your food intake lately?
Just wondering. Read an article about the influence of food on the intestinal bacteria. When they are way out of balance they can couse deppresion and other mental issues as well they said.
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Tadaaaah!! 
There they are Sarath, your double digits!
Congratulations and have a nice day at work 
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Thank you @SoberWalker.
Staying sober gives me more positive thoughts, Iām thinking why should i try to apply for other jobs in my field.
Iām trying to change my way of living. When i was drinking, only thinking about alcohol.
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*Day 2081 
Muscle pain is getting a bit less so I hope I can train next sunday. A co worker of mine said: thatās just like who you are āall ore nothingā and so it is 
Itās a quality but also a pitfall.
Picture from my āevery day treeā
Today? Work and goldsmith class.
Have a good day ore night all TS friends
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Yes, sober living is like opening a box isnāt it?
I felt like living in a small dark box and coming out of it and discovering so many things I didnāt notice ore felt too insecure to do because I covered it by my addiction.
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Day 74.
We were advised the house we were potentially putting an offer on is not going to be for sale off market, so weāll be going ahead with our knock down rebuild! Exciting and terrifying times.
Have a great weekend everyone.
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@JazzyS thanks for the good advice. Itās hard when cravings show up from nowhere after a good time sober. But Ai guess that no pain no gain
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I do get these kinds of problems when I take antibiotics. But right now I assume itās a combination of my hormonal perimenopausal shennanigans combined with a change in meds. Kind of a transition. Thanks for caring 
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Hey all, checking in on day 1447. I hope everybody has a good one 
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Day 181
Off on a bit of a road trip down the country to see the inlaws. Have stopped overnight in a provincial town. Took the kids to a tour of a glow worm cave. It was pretty awesome, they thought it was cool and I was happy to learn all about glow worms haha.
Afterwards we stopped at the supermarket and got some microwave dinners and went back to the motel.
Currently the family is sleeping and Iām just having a quick read and check in here.
Driving again tomorrow morning
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Day 2261 Af. Sitting in my hobby room pondering my lack of āabilityā to go sugar free. Trying to figure out why me trying to be sugar free just isnt working. Some times the answer is as easy as looking at the āartā on my wall.
I guess I just need to figure if I am going to āDo or Do notā
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@Tetrax congrats on triple digits 
@Laner proud of you for talking to your friend, Iām glad it didnāt trigger flashbacks and you felt okay after, that really is huge progress š©µ and your plan to take one trip at a time, and to bring a friend along, sounds like a good way to do it.
@Vikingsfan congrats on 500+ days
@tailee17 sorry to hear that, no wonder youāve been struggling 
I hope the surgery goes well 
@Davina_Davis congrats on 5 months
@CleanHeart congrats on 90+ days
@Lile01 enjoy Greece 
@Mno I hope your talk with management went okay. Sorry about the self-doubt I personally really admire you and all that you do š©µ
@DogtoothCowboy congrats on double digits
@SussexGuy congrats on 2 weeks just beware that AF drinks do usually contain a small amount of alcohol, like 0.05%.
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@Greg27 welcome 
congrats on 23 days
@Thumper1213 welcome back I hope you can let go of that shame and refocus on those simple things š©µ
@happyfeet congrats on 10 months
@Leveller sending well wishes for your wife 
so good that youāre noticing health improvements already 
@Lighter congrats on 90 days I hope your trip goes well
@Englishd congrats on 2400 days sorry youāre going through stressful times sending strength š©µ
@Foxy8 welcome
@Just_Laura Iām sorry about your ex, your PMS, your art project, and your rent hope it goes well on Friday atleast
@acromouse Iām so sorry for how youāre feeling Iām there with you. Sending strength š©µ and congrats on 40+ days no dairy
@Mischa84 congrats on 11 months
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@Amy30 congrats on 500+ days
@Bunto congrats on 1 day
@Juli1 congrats on 4 months
@Seizetheday congrats on 150 days
@suechu congrats on 60 days
@john_connor1337 welcome back
@s_unrelax congrats on double digits
@Noshame congrats on 50 days no marijuana
1389 days no alcohol.
854 days no cocaine.
369 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Bit of a stressful day Tuesday; I received an email that the company I returned the oat flour to had received my return, but it stated that they received 3 bags when I returned 9, so evidently the big boxes got separated during transit like I predicted they would, and so I wasnāt going to get a refund for the other 6 bags. When things like this happen, I usually compare the money Iāve lost, to what I used to spend every day in active addiction, and really itās no big deal, just annoying. The stressful part was trying to communicate with the company via webchat which took an hour and got me nowhere, the same when I tried to arrange the return. Anyway, the other boxes must have made their way there, because yesterday I received a refund for all 9 bags.
Tuesday night didnāt go very well, I binged all my remaining snacks for the week plus 2 lots of toast. I also binged again Wednesday morning by having breakfast x3, and I also had an extra sandwich late Wednesday night. I donāt think Iām going to buy anymore groceries, but will reasses when Iām running out, I still have some dayās worth of ingredients for sandwiches and evening meals.
Wednesday I went for a Spirometry test re Asthma, so I showered before that. I was anxious I wouldnāt be able to do the test properly and the nurse would get frustrated, and that I might have an Asthma attack. Anxiety is not much fun. It was all fine. I told her about my bad cough when Iām laying down in the evenings, which seems to keep getting worse and has been ongoing for months without relief from the blue inhaler. She went to speak to the doctor, and he said to try an anti-histamine and make an appointment to see a GP if it doesnāt help, so I bought some to try. I was coughing badly still, but I tried the steroid inhaler instead of the reliever, and that did help. I will monitor this.
I hate how Iām feeling at the moment. I donāt know how Iām eating so much and still feeling insatiably hungry, itās just like alcohol, cocaine, and vaping; the more I have, the more I want, and Iām anxious about having food in my fridge. Iāve gained 8lbs too and feel bigger than ever. I wish I knew what was going on with me under the surface, driving me to binge. Iām so disconnected from my emotions and feelings, Iām just extremely anxious and depressed all the time, thatās as far as my awareness goes.
I hadnāt received a reply to my email about postponing my current therapy yet, so I followed it up with a text message yesterday morning. Then I did receive a reply a little while later, stating that itās their policy when a client ends therapy, they have to wait 6 months, then be added to the bottom of the waiting list (4+ years). This has really upset me mentally, doesnāt seem fair at all, they knew before I started this therapy that I was waiting for some form of treatment re my eating disorder. Regardless, Monday will be my final session.
I keep having waves of really intense emotion rushing through me, and my eyes fill with tears and I feel like Iām going to cry, but nothing comes out. Meditating lots.
š©µ
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Thank you. 94 days sober and off to surgery. Be back tomorrow
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Day 198. You know how like the first 3 months of sobriety sometimes were on a pink cloud. Today im grateful bc honestly this past like 6 months has been nothing but good, i cant express how good it feels to be alive well and safe. I have an amazing mother. An amazing job, two beautiful amazing girls. I sit here and try to think of things that may be bugging me just to get them out and for the most part there never really is much. Much love everyone
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Day 26 
Each day I have been working out how to join the catio to the window and tunnel etcā¦ just did half an hour today. Itās raining on and off and I need to use the jigsaw and it gets dusty so I did a little bit. Glad I did that bit.
Iām at the stage where its more brain work and making sure click locks are all mathematically lining up. Brain work lol. Not today hehe.
Going to spend the rest of the day having a tidy around and cook a nice meal for dinner.
And just take it easy 
I think.
I can do a little bit more tomorrow late morning I need to drill 4 holes. Just not got the motivation today to do it and the brain work to make sure I donāt make a mistake - so that tells me today isnāt the day to keep trying.
Itās been a busy week, had a little health scare with my son the past few days up to hospital and then the drs and everything is okay so I feel rather blessed right now as it was either nothing or it was something very serious Iām grateful he is healthy 
.
So I think a relaxing weekend is a good idea and itās okay. I keep having this feeling like ā you should be drilling those holesā etcā¦ a work in progress to learn stuff can wait there is no rush.
Have a lovely sober day all
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Thank you! Have a great day!
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