I still feel this. I really want to be “classy” sitting with a glass of champagne or some wine and chocolate.
But I’ve tried that, once, twice and even a third time. Even after long time sobriety. And I can’t. It’s not that I’m getting ploughman drunk doing stupid things. But if I start I know I want to be “classy” everyday.
And for me it’s just not worth it.
Last relapse was like 5-6 months and it pretty much wrecked every benefit of being sober that I build for the past years before that relapse.
It’s not a shame that we can’t drink. It’s a shame that society thinks we should drink to have fun or being ourselves.
Doing well overall. Screwed up my leg at muay thai today and in a lot of pain. Already starting to limp and im sure its gonna be even worse tomorrow. Tomorrow im scheduled to work 5pm-2am and my job has me on my feet the entire shift (service industry) with pretty much no break so im trying to see if anyone can work for me but i highly doubt anyone will, so ill probably be stuck working still. Not looking forward to that. But fingers crossed it works out.
Up early and to the gym for sparring, was awesome to get the blood moving on a Sunday morning
then quickly home and the kids had swimming lessons. I love watching them improve and learn.
After swimming was lunch and home, the kids rode their bikes with some friends. My wife and I walked the dogs. My team lost again. Crab curry for dinner.
Pretty good Sunday.
@wahtisnormal hope the leg is ok, its not even the strikes that often do the damage really, I strained my calf the other week at kickboxing just working the bag. Put me out of action for a week.
Long day top dressing a lawn yesterday, but great to be outside in the sun and warmth all day.
Today, 2 clients to mow, trim, lime and fertilize, then back to FT work Monday.
Hi Mischa, I just read your post as I’m not able to catch up on here much. I just want to tell you that I totally get you. It is hard raising up kids anyway and doing it almost alone like you do it is double as hard.
You doing great though. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The little ones getting your nerves and every age and every development level will have its own difficulties but you are a strong little lady and you gonna rock it!
Again raising kids is a journey and we take it one day at a time. Sending you love and strength and a big big virtual hug my friend
@Sara.eve congrats on your year and your pregnancy @Mischa84 sending strength 🩵 @acromouse thank you congrats again on 2 weeks no dairy I hope those hormones settle down 🩵 @Mno very relateable thanks for sharing 🩵 @Deelzebub congrats on 11 months @Twizzlers I’m so you glad you got through yesterday, sending strength 🩵 @Laner congrats on 30 days I’m so glad the Snow Leopard was rescued safely 🩵 I can relate to having bad dreams and the way they can make you feel the next day @Meka congrats on 11 months @Doreen1 congrats on all the 2s @JazzyS congrats on 500 days
@Butterflymoonwoman I echo everything JazzyS said, and I’m sending you strength 🩵 @Just_Laura congrats on all the 4s sorry about the bs from your new boss @wahtisnormal sorry about your leg but congrats on 3 weeks @Chevy55 congrats on 4 months
1363 days no alcohol.
828 days no cocaine.
343 days no vape.
4 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
Yesterday, the emotions seemed to have subsided, and I had a calm and peaceful day. I even managed to meditate without a guided meditation, a few times. All kinds of memories swirled around, but I just allowed them to come and go.
Yesterday evening was a bit harder. I had the urge to binge. I wanted to go and buy crisps so I could watch the program I like, but instead I watched a different program and did not go to buy crisps or binge.
I also went for my lake walk yesterday, for the first time in weeks, so that’s something.
Day 83 AF
Today was the first day I had an uneasy feeling about having a drink. It all started from a mere memory/vision and it got stuck in my head for a couple of hours. I knew I’d be home alone and watching my favourite sport team on the tv and I was just reminiscing about times I’d watch a game and have a couple of drinks. I didn’t want to drink, it was just that memory replaying in my head that I was struggling to remove.
I watched the game sober, my team won and I didn’t think about drinking at all during it. It was good to acknowledge the way I was feeling about it and not judging myself and remain positive and disciplined.
Another great sober day in this journey of learning.
Peace and strength to you all.
@CATMANCAM good job controlling those urges. 100% your walk is definitely something… Glad your doing well🙏
@wahtisnormal congratulations on 3 weeks and hitting your personal milestone through the week I’m a week behind, your motivation is keep me going! Hope you’re leg is feeling better soon
Yesterday ended well… went for a walk and took the we man for desert in town, came home and fell asleep on the sofa. Feeling better today.
Nice chatting to people in the shop this morning hangover free!
Checking in 235 SAF and 221 no smokes. It’s raining, it’s cold, it’s miserable and I’m in work off 5 hours sleep, coming off a 16 hour shift. Ironically though, I’m in a good mood. I finally, finally feel at peace with addiction and where I’m at in sobriety. I drive roughly an hour and twenty minutes to and from work, and I used to despise it, because I was so hungover. Now I find it as quiet time where I can kind of zone out and think about what life was like, and why I’m never going back.
Have a great day, guys. Love ya’s
I’ve been rather busy with work and creating a new private life for myself. Mentally it’s going better but yesterday I had a craving moment. I drive a lot. Also enjoy reststops and stuff like that and yesterday I visited one that works like a bridge over the Autobahn. Shops inside, restaurants, etc… I wanted to enjoy the view with some coffee but I just stared at some beer cans and thought about buying them. Didn’t do that so weekends not completely fd. Any positive change is always fought against by my inner will to self destruct. Sucks, but as long I don’t act on it I’ll be okay.
Hope you people are having an amazing weekend and please stay safe.
I had two big cups of coffee, had breakfast, read here and fell asleep for a couple hours after the storms left. Coffee put me back to sleep! . Those couple hours saved my Sunday. Now just somewhat tired but happy. I’ll be more friendly. Do I eat breakfast twice? Yes. Will be good to see people later this morning.
Things are much better on Day 65. I never want to go back
and your pregnancy 
congrats again on 2 weeks no dairy 
I’m a week behind, your motivation is keep me going! Hope you’re leg is feeling better soon 
. Those couple hours saved my Sunday. Now just somewhat tired but happy. I’ll be more friendly. Do I eat breakfast twice? Yes. Will be good to see people later this morning.