Was I saying that having kids all around the clock at home driving me nuts (vacations)? Oh sweet summer child me, I didn’t know what’s coming. So today at 8am, when I was still in pyjamas, someone knock to my door. Kitchen renovation! Whaaaat?! My husband told me it’s next week, he even took some days off to help here during this hectic time. But no, ofcourse he note the date wrong. So we had a choice - or clean the kitchen and let him renovate, or pay that company for lost workdays. I was so furious. I told husband to get back here from work, I don’t care how he will manage to do it, but come here and help me clean up all this kitchen stuff (empty all cabinets, remove hangers etc). We manage to do it in little bit more than 1hour!
So now I don’t have a kitchen for next 3, maybe 4 days. All that stuff in the living room and bedroom. And all kids at home. And they are so fascinated with that worker, I must play stupid TV for them so they won’t terrorise him, stare and ask a questions all the time. At least he is a friendly guy from Moldova. But I hate this situation I’m in now. Hubby back at work and can’t take free days this week. And you know what? There is more! I don’t have any coffee, I forgot to buy some again. I didn’t even have one today morning ffs! Zero! And now I don’t have a kitchen. I can go buy some instant shit (god forbid) or drink like my parents did (and most of older people in Poland) just pour boiling water on a coffee and have that mud inside the cup I didn’t expect such an apocalypse today xD
At least it’s gonna be done. I was already counting days till when this renovation gonna start and now it’s happening so it’s closer to finish Just a bit inconvenient that kids are at home and I am not prepared.
My thoughts exactly there’s aaaaalways something! I just got into the game recently and its so addicting lol, im only on year 2 right now. I dont think I got the update, i play on switch. Its definitely my favorite way to take some time for myself and chill atm
I’m on Android, I don’t got the new update either. But honestly I’m just fine as it is.
Had a farm where I was on year 5.
But I deleted it and started over to try the new Beach farm map, that came with the last update. Current on year two on that one.
I also live the four corners even If I play alone. It’s so easy to make progress on that farm because you’ve got a little bit of everything.
Wake up on Day 66, come here, and find out it’s a holiday. Happy Ederlezi everyone I’m still keen to celebrate spring before our evil Summer takes control! Thanks @MrsOdh for letting me know that it’s a holiday, and also I need to clean. I really f do. Enjoy your Romani New Year
Monday is here. How’s the water? I ask our Europeans if it’s safe to get up. Is Monday safe this week? (Can’t trust that day…hehehe).
Feeling steady, slept fair, seems fine for 66 days. I’m enjoying being halfway functional while I can . This is the time to just get better.
Day 1
I’m so disappointed in myself.
I can’t let alcohol destroy me.
I haven’t been able to sleep. I will get an early night tonight.
No energy to cook or tidy up I just want to cry so much. But I have to push on.
I really need a plan now.
I don’t want to ever feel like this ever again
I didn’t just ruin yesterday by drinking I also ruined today.
Today could of been a normal day and I chose to ruin it.
I know tomorrow I’ll feel alot better.
I just want to cry so much but I can’t let myself wallow in self pity as that will get me nowhere.
Thanks for this. I do something similar but maybe I should try writing them down to get them out of my head better. That’s something I’ve not tried yet. I usually try to ground myself by saying outloud where I am and when I am and that with breathing helps me calm down but I still usually can’t fall back asleep after. If it gets too bad (too many nights of bad sleep with bad dreams in a row) I’ll get flashbacks. But this hasn’t happened in a long time. Back when I lived in the States and could afford therapy I did EMDR which really helped but still hasn’t made the dreams go away. Anyways…sorry is a long response but I appreciate hearing what helps other people in this area so I can also try out new things.
I think I need to go to AA and actually get a sponsor.
I also think I should call the professionals alcohol service before this gets out of hand. I’m not going to wait for my life to fall apart before getting help.
Recovery dharma I will go to as well.
I need to come at this from all angles.
I can’t do this again. I feel like I’m in a big panic and it feels so horrible.
Ah fuck Twizz
I don’t know what to say. That you don’t already know.
Maybe a dose of fear.
What comes to my mind is what I been hearing from some old timers at AA meetings. From their experience each time we relapse it’s gets harder and harder to come back. It seems like I’m watching that here with you.
Although it seems like you are already trying to come right back. And that’s Huge. I’m proud of you for that From what I’ve heard. Now is not a time to isolate. Get to a fucking meeting. Call a friend. Go for a long walk with Polly. There’s got to be some one you can talk to or reach out too. We all need support and connection to beat this motherfucker.
I know you can figure this out. You’ve racked up some serious clean and sober time before. I know you can do this again. Don’t go down that pity party shame hole. If you do. Don’t go it alone.
I love you girl. Stick close to us.
We. And I feel like I can speak for all of us. We are here for you. We love you.
Todays been busy and I was really tired again but I still got a lot of work done. I had a meeting to help prepare for my upcoming work trip and that went well so I feel more prepared now. I had a moment today when I was in a shop to buy kefir and was talking to the shopkeeper. She had a bottle of vodka set out to sell shots to customers coming in. Anyways I didn’t pay much attention to it but then some people were in to drink and a lady beside me spilled on me. It made me really uncomfortable…just smelling it and seeing that. It made me feel nauseous. I was a bit disappointed because I was enjoying my conversation with the shopkeeper but ended up cutting it short to go home quickly. I still haven’t been sleeping very well. So am going to relax the rest of the evening and hopefully sleep a bit early. 32 days sober😊
Checking in day 610 and hit months sober yesterday! Just a short and sweet check in to say hi and I’m still chuggin’ along. Wishing everyone a magnificent sober Monday
One full day after. Put a clear head on my pillow yesterday evening and woke up fresh. Night wasn’t 100% ideal but recovered very well. I’m confident sobriety is new path in my life but it is also based on valuable lessons learned from my relapses during last 9 months. However trust me I couldn’t do it without you guys and this platform, want to thank you for your support and wisdom. And big appreciation gooes to God, Jesus, higher power I know they have been part of everything I went thru, saw that, felt that, but they never do a choice on behalf of you of course or instead of you. But they have ways showing you they are there, it’s only up to you to see it or not. Thank you again, not going anywhere though, it was a hard systematic work and set of certain habits I did during non alcoholic time throughout a day during recent x weeks which included being active here. Love you guys
I didn’t expect such an apocalypse today xD
Just a bit inconvenient that kids are at home and I am not prepared.
and I like it 
months sober yesterday! Just a short and sweet check in to say hi and I’m still chuggin’ along. Wishing everyone a magnificent sober Monday 
