Don’t wallow in shame. I always get stuck in shame and it is harder to pull myself out of it. I’ve been reading your posts since I’ve joined this group and know that you have the strength to live a sober life. I don’t really have much advice to give but I know how much shame can kill a soul. I hope you have the courage to do what you need whether it is to go to AA meetings or get a sponsor. Also you wrote you wanted to cry. Go ahead and cry. Crying releives stress hormones and it always makes me feel better after. There’s no shame in a good cry.
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Thank you so much for all your support 
Yes I feel the struggle seems harder this time.
I am going to make a few calls. It is bank holiday here so not sure the alcohol service will be open but I’m going to try.
I’m frozen with fear. I am going to stay in bed today as I already thought if I have one drink today all this shame and feeling of dread and anxiety will go. But I have to ride it out. I think I’m safe indoors until tomorrow when I have had sleep and my brain is clearer.
I have looked at meetings near me for tomorrow day time and then the evening.
My plan is to intervene now before it’s too late.
Meetings and the alcohol support services.
My poor son must feel the same as me, worse even. And right now that is killing me to think he feels sad because of me. I feel frozen with fear.
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Checking in on day
362 no alcohol
293 no vapes or ciggs
24.68 no form of marijuana
Struggling
Annoyed
Irritable
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Thank you for your kind words and support 
It means alot right now.
My son just came to my room and explained to him that I’m sorry. He is 21. He is talking to me which is making me feel a little less fear. But I know every time I go out he will be thinking is mum buying a drink, this will be what I made his life for a few weeks maybe longer. That makes me very sad.
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Hi 
What ever you do don’t give into that struggle
It won’t bring anything good.
Sending you hugs 
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Go and share this at a meeting today. Now. Click on the link. There’s meetings all over London. AA doesn’t stop for bank holidays and alcoholism doesn’t stop for holidays either.
Please get out of bed and go now! Try! Don’t let fear and shame win. Why wait?
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I’m glad you could talk with him. Keep working and building trust back up with him. Maybe do a bit of exercise? Or do one of these online meetings? To help you get through the day. I’ll be thinking of you.
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Checking in on a Monday morning. Not much going on at work yet this morning. Had a pretty good weekend. The weather was cold and rainy. Got inside things done, helped my brother-in-law out with his art show, went bowling a couple times, worked on puzzles and spent quality time laying on the couch with the cats. Nothing exciting, but it was nice. I have a rheumatologist appointment this afternoon. I have to drive almost an hour to have a ridiculous amount of blood drawn and talk to the doctor for five minutes. I have to do this every three months. Depending on the results of the blood work, he changes my meds around. Ugh!
Hope everyone has a great sober week. Sending hugs and strength to those who are struggling
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Good plan. Go to AA, grab a sponsor and go for it. U can do it. We all need support at times.
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I’d say join a meeting or stay with your son. Or better, do both. You shouldn’t be alone right now.
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Sorry to hear Twizz. Pick yourself back up kid, that’s all that matters. The bounce back being there. Sending love from a fellow Londoner. 
🫶🏼
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We’ve all been there Twizz, so have you. Well done for getting straight back up.
Maybe time to try reading some of those books too?
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- Had a busy few days at my Mother in Laws house. I sanded and gloss painted all her kitchen windowsills, fixed a hose pipe, mowed and tended the gardens, made a pork roast dinner with all the trimmings and made sure the baby panthers were ok on their extended sleepover at Nannies
. They were fantastic boys apart from being a little bit crazy, mainly with her roller blinds….
Back now in London before 7 am this morning as we got up at 5am to make the journey as super quick for the boys as possible, London traffic is no joke. We have all been napping and they are resettled back at home. Proud of my panthers, makes such a difference to be able to road trip to MIL as her mobility is really questionable these days and it’s nice to make sure she’s ok and sorted and safe. She also likes to see them, and they were very sweet with her. She got us a bottle of 0.0% Seville Gin and we all had it with tonics, very nice. There may also have been a couple of cakes involved….
Wholesome and love filled weekend that filled my heart. sober is the only way for me. Ever.
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If anyone is interested…the letter of the Day on Sesame Street is “c”…as in community…
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I’m good doll, just keeping a low profile, working on myself. 
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I didnt give in
Thanks twizz
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Let’s set set a date for a tattoosesion together, but not on our forehead! 
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Feeling those feelings is the hardest part…riding it out hour to hour will turn into days and you’ll get there. We’re here for you!!! 🫶🏻
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Checking in on day 130!!! Closing last months books at work today so it is a crazy one. Overtime is good at least 
Sending everyone strength and love!!!
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Ouh sweet friend.
I am so sorry for what you are going through
Thanks for sharing all your thoughts here.
I just want to let you know,
we are here,
we listen.
Big hug
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