I fells asleep on the couch again until 2. Exhausted in the morning so I napped a couple more hours, having the most interesting action packed dream. I thought I was watching a movie until I woke up drenched. Rest of the day was great. First Tuesday we’ve been open and only 3 tables for me but I made out a lot better than I imagined. Had lots of good food too bc there was a buffet downstairs Feeling perfectly tired for what time it is. I’ve started watching Monk, which I never caught when it was aired but my dad always like it. One episode, then bed Goodnight all
Up early on my day off. Want to do a longer bike ride. The weather was supposed to better than is is looking but it’s not raining, so it and I’ll make do. Today is just for me. Sober and clean.
Been looking in to doing another form of therapy called somatic experiencing. I feel it could be helpful in releasing some of the tension in my body that’s been there for 50+ years. Cycling helps, talking therapy helps, but it’s not enough yet. I’ll keep working on it. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 70.
Up early to take the boys to the dentist.
It’s a long weekend here so they’re having the day off.
My brother wanted to come visit with his kids tomorrow. I offered them to come and watch my 14 y/o folk dance show with us.
He wasn’t really into that cause his kids can’t be still (they’re like 3 and 4 y/o)
And my kids preferably don’t have their young cousins over so we’ll see about that.
Otherwise no plans for this weekend.
Hopefully our old gardener will come over and help us with the garden since we need a tractor to do what we’re planning this year.
But he’s been saying that for weeks so I doubt he will.
We’ll see.
Sun is supposed to shine, it’s supposed to be a little warmer, so hopefully it’ll be a nice long weekend with a lot of BBQ and outdoor fun.
Wishing y’all a wonderful day and a happy weekend.
@MrsOdh Have a good start into your long free weekend. @Mno Enjoy your ride @Mira_D Thanks you for reminding me to take deep breaths and thinking one step at a time. I really need that right now. @wahtisnormal You seem to have a very busy work life with sports on top of that. This means that you’re in ‘action mode’ as I call it a lot. When you have a day off and ‘nothing’ to do your brain and body have to switch to ‘down mode’. This switch, this transition can feel very unpleasant and uncomfortable. That’s when your addiction speaks up and suggests to ‘ease the discomfort’. You know the consequences of using. You don’t want them. Try to find new ways to ease this transition: drawing, a walk, stretching, a relaxing game. Relaxing stuff. The discomfort will pass if you don’t use. Hold on to your sobriety @Chevy55 Fingers crossed your work situation improves with time. @Soberbilly A happy belated birthday @Butterflymoonwoman Nice to see your doing better. Sleep is magical. @Wakikki I Hope sleep finds you soon. @JazzyS Hope for less weather shenanigans for you today @Juli1 I really dig Yoga with Horst
I’ve been having some kind of digestive problems for a few days now. This also includes some intestinal pains with which I woke up this morning. At the same time my period is due these days which tends to exacerbate all kinds of pains and issues. I feel like the pain is getting worse and now I want to be on a train in four hours to my festival for the rest of the week. My mind is playing all kinds of anxiety ridden tapes about me being seriously ill or getting worse on the trip or whatnot. I feel paralysed from fear.
But I’m not going to cancel my trip. Worst case I have to come back home earlier. My fear is getting worse on the other hand. I’ll try to do one thing after the other just as I’ve planned.
I hope I can find some peace, stay in kindness, and find freedom. The same goes to you my sober friends
Day 319. Up early. My wife is having alot of problems with pain at the moment so I’m not sure if we are off to and e. It’s been ongoing for a while now
Happy birthday @Soberbilly I hope you had a lovely day!
Glad you are around @Twizzlers, connection is key And you are determinate enough to get what you want so go get it.
days@Pattycake that’s a big milestone! Happy for you!
I know milestones can be tricky days @Juli1 (they are for me!) and you are heading one and aware of that. That’s a good thing Proud of how you are doing it Julia with the yoga and all!!
Have you ever tried PMT @Mno ? (Psychomotorische therapie), it could be helpful for you if I understand your needs right
That’s power @acromouse , respect! I hope you feel better soon and the festival is awesome! Keep us posted Aga
*Day 2058
5 days before holiday
Had an easy day yesterday and today will be an easy one too I guess. Have a appointment with the Iranian lady in a pub this morning for a coffee and a chat. After that I’m biking to the city centre for some shopping for my holiday, deffinitely need some t shirts. And toninght my 3 kids are visiting, wednesday is our " familyday" and we use it to catch up with eachother. I’m grateful they still like to come over despite 2 of them having a girlfriend now. I cherish the weekly visits as long as the last
This flower is called “Gewone Vogelmelk” , in English it’s called “Grass lilly” ore “Star of Bethlehem”. Pictured it yesterday. It’s lovely
Have a nice night ore a good day werever you are TS friends!
@Mira_D so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I can’t even comprehend the justification the system would have to make this process so utterly complicated. It baffles me that they would put a child through this kind of stress and aggrivation. I do hope that you are able to get this sorted with ease moving forward. Good luck with the letters @Just_Laura omg… absolutely loved the show - watched and rewatched it many times. They came out with a movie last year which you’ll have to see once you complete the series. Happy watching @mrsodh way to go Sophia 70 days and going strong. A sweater would be handy to keep on hand - thanks for the tip. @acromouse it was a bizarre day for sure…heard we had 3 tornadoes touch down in the area. I was oblivious with my loud music and cooking to notice the sirens. No damage here thank goodness. Hope you have a wonderful trip to Berlin. Oh no…I’m sorry you are dealing with digestive issues and pain…that does not make for a fun train ride. Hopefully it’s a comfortable train where you can rest. Sending you hugs my friend… sending energy to push that fear and anxiety away @timetochange sorry to hear about your wife dealing with pain. I do hope you get it checked out if it’s been this persistent and that everything is ok.
Having trouble sleeping with the stupid pain so I thought I would check in with my friends.
It’s 2:39am … going to try and meditate and get some zzz’s.
Hope you all have a wonderful start to your Wednesdays sending you all so much love
@JazzyS thank you I hope so too 🩵 yesterday was a fail, but I’ll try again today Argh I’m so sorry for your frustrating day! I hope today is better! I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, I hope that gets better asap too @acromouse thank you I’m so sorry you’re in pain I hope it settles and that you can enjoy the festival 🩵 @Whereswaldo congrats on 50 days @Soberbilly belated happy birthday @Thumper1213 feel better soon 🩵 @Vanessa8 welcome congrats on 30 days @tailee17 congrats on 70 days @Pattycake congrats on 300 days @dakini welcome congrats on day 1 @JonasE sorry about your friend
@Kvee glad you vented, hope it helped sending strength 🩵 @wahtisnormal stay connected sending strength 🩵 @Mira_D congrats on finishing your taxes sending you strength as you fight the next phase for your nephew 🩵 @MrsOdh congrats on 70 days
1366 days no alcohol.
831 days no cocaine.
346 days no vape.
7 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
Yesterday I couldn’t focus my attention on anything at all, so it was quite a frustrating day. I did meditate. I thought I wasn’t going to make it out for my walk because I didn’t have the urge at the time I’ve been going, but then, at 5pm I had my Zoom chat with the Safe Soulmates woman, and she gave me a firm push, so I did do it, even though I really didn’t feel like it, I even struggled to make it out the door once I had my trainers and headphones on, which usually isn’t an issue, but every time I went to leave, Prince was protesting. Anyway, I was glad I did go in the end.
I fell asleep early so I’ve woken up extra early today, which I like. I am hoping to do my usual daily routine things, and keep up the momentum of going for a walk.
158 days
Another day at work. This one a bit more laid back. Got shifted to another role as we were short of qualified operators. I took some training for a couple of the guys so they can upskill and gain some more quals.
Can’t beat working with a good bunch of guys, makes the day fly.
Home to pick up the kids from a friends house, lucky to have help when my wife and I are both on shift.
Then a quick dinner.
Day off tomorrow with the wife before I go on nightshift
Hi all, checking in on Day 1. I am feeling OK and positive at the moment. I don’t really binge (another reason I am always tempted to moderate), but then end up drinking every night. Need to remove the choice out of it and commit to this.
Yesterday evening when I was in the shop my boys run out from home. My husband was with them but apparently he underestimate them and didn’t believe they are able to just open the door, take their bikes and go to the park behind our house. I told them or they go home with me right now or they will sleep outside in that park. Only one went back with me. I locked the backyard door hoping for some crying and apologies. Apologies my ass. They really didn’t give a shit. I had to go and pick them up and Dennis was still trying to run away from me. I’m not happy about it but there was some ass whooping. They are 3yo and 5yo, I don’t know what to do that they will start listening to me more. Especially Dennis (one of the twins). He is running away from me and then he is not looking around, sometimes just running on the street. Luckily its very quiet here and people are driving mostly slowly anyway. This boy is something else, for real. So i punished them and today we stay at home. We go nowhere. And no tv. I feel like I am the one who is punished They are so bored now and cranky and all the time asking me what they can do. And still that kitchen renovation… I’m so fucking done with everything.
This is so beautiful what you’ve written @acromouse Thank you.
I hope that your trip will be nice, and will be free from anxiety and health problems. I hope that it will be all and more that you originally planned for.
To all of us here, like @acromouse I wish us freedom from our drug and behaviors of choice and freedom in our lives as humans.
Also ‘peace and kindness’ and goodness in our days and interactions with ourselves and with others.
Life is/ can be hard. Wishing all the best possible as you go through your days.
To those of you struggling with your drug or behavior of choice, keep at it doing the small helpful steps or big huge steps, whatever works best for you, drawing from the support at this site and out in your greater 3D and online world, whatever you like and where you get the help and support you need.
To those of you wondering if you can do it, quit whatever you want to quit, come in, post, introduce yourself and find a world of people with similar challenges and situations.
Big hugs.
They are kids,very young kids. You can’t expect them to listen and behave like older kids do.
They don’t have the capacity to do that.
Only way kids learn is by repeating the same thing over and over again. Talk to them an explan why certain things is a bad idea.
“I understand that you want to go to the park, but you can’t do it without asking, without and adult. It can be dangerous” etc.
The only thing you might achieve by threatening them, locking them out and beat them would be that they eventually starts to fear you and realizing that they can’t trust you.
All research about child development shows that it’s the worst strategy ever. And I’m surprised that it’s not illegal in more countries (It is in mine)
If you feel like you absolutely can’t handle the boys you might have to consider a parenting class to get some strategies to work with. And of one of them acts out more than usual maybe contact the doctors office and see if there can be some underlying issues like adhd. Most of the time you can’t see that until they start school, but maybe you can get some extra help.
It’s not the boys fault that you’re overwhelmed with life, being a parent en everything in general so don’t take it out on them. Keeping all of you in the house all day with a construction worker and no tv or anything like that sounds like it’ll probably lead to more frustration for all of you.
I don’t really mean to give you a hard time here, I understand that you’re feeling that it’s just to much of everything. And I understand that you don’t need me to complain about how you’re raising your kids. I just want ro point out that there’s other ways and better ways to do it. That doesn’t include corporal punishment. Because that’s wrong in so many ways.
Hopefully no one hits you when you’re doing something wrong. If that happens we would probably file charges, so why is it okay to do so to a young child that doesn’t know or understand how and why you shouldn’t do certain things?
Oh I am repeating myself, believe me. I know all the theory, I’m not into physical punishment. Theory always sounds great but sometimes it’s just doesn’t work. He just have to stop running away. Period. It’s fucking heavy to stay zen when your 3yo is riding a bike 5cm next to water canal and not stopping when you ask him to. Should I let him fall so he gonna learn? No, thanks. And no, we won’t go anywhere today. They won’t watch TV. Nobody gonna get hurt and maybe they will know there are consequences. I hope they will. And next time they rethink. I agree I lost my shit yesterday and I am not happy about it. But theory is always easier, well, in theory. Just stay calm. Just don’t pick up that first drink. Just don’t eat sweets. Sometimes it’s just so fckn difficult.
Feeling perfectly tired for what time it is. I’ve started watching Monk, which I never caught when it was aired but my dad always like it. One episode, then bed 
Goodnight all 
I hope you had a lovely day!
And you are determinate enough to get what you want so go get it.
Proud of how you are doing it Julia with the yoga and all!!
Argh I’m so sorry for your frustrating day! I hope today is better! I’m sorry you’re in so much pain, I hope that gets better asap too 
They are so bored now and cranky and all the time asking me what they can do. And still that kitchen renovation… I’m so fucking done with everything.