Tuesday night check in. Today flew by and that’s not a bad thing! Had one of my parts venders stop in today and was surprised how busy we were guess the couple shops around me have been pretty dead and one is a Goodyear chain. Doing pretty good I guess with minimal advertising and I don’t send out coupons. We are booking out a week for repairs. I will just keep living by the same motto. Have a good one people.
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So very sorry to hear about your loss. So grateful that you went to the gym rather than any old coping mechanisms. Sending comfort and hugs your way 
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2y3m1d
Just wanted to do a quick checkin this evening. Was a busy day. Went to the gym and then went to grab new phones on a new contract for me and hubby. Im grateful I was able to get back into TS after the phones transferred the data but i had to input my sobriety time again. It had disappeared lol Thats ok.
My son seems to have a bit of fever tonight. I gave him Tylenol to help. Hopefully he isnt getting sick again. Will ask the nurse tonight to keep an eye on him. The homecare scheduler was able to get a few open shifts filled thankfully, so i think i have only 1 night to do later this week. Im sooooo excited to sleep tonight and get a full 7-8 hours rest. Not much else to report. Will try to get caught up on here in a bit 
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Checking in 79 days.
These past 79 days haven’t been perfect but I still haven’t given in to PMO so that is a huge win. Tomorrow is like any other day so time to go to bed and wake up like it is day one. Just got to keep going with pursuing healing, especially in my marriage.
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That’s awful. There is nothing anyone can say in these situations to change anything, it’s just shit. My condolences, please take care of you during this difficult time.
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Checking in at the end of day 3.
@JazzyS thanks for the encouragement.
@Timetochange such good advice, thank you
@CATMANCAM thanks! It’s good to be back
Have a couple of rough days coming up. Tomorrow, Wednesday here in the states, is usually the day I give in to the salesman, but I’ve been slamming the door in his face all day! Unfortunately he has a key, so I’m working to change that lock!
Friday is a trigger day but got some absorbing creative interests planned.
Saturday I’ve been invited to a winery- I’m declining the invite.
Going to focus on each of these days as they come.
I read a quote I liked - “ I now have the freedom not to drink” I want that freedom.
Have a good night all.
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1803
I was in bed by 8 last night. And slept till the alarm just now at 5. I obviously needed the rest. Lots of some rather confusing dreams too but that’s part of a normal healthy sleep. Had a good experience work yesterday and planning to repeat that today. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love.
@2JTravNZ Very sorry for your loss Travis. I know the reflex to go and drink. Glad you have a better alternative now
@Jeanine Congrats on three days Jeanine! Good on you for making plans how to counter addiction’s false lure. Glad you’re here. Keep going, you’re doing great!
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@Whereswaldo I really relate to that feeling of relief being capable of driving at any time brings. I’m glad to have read this reminder (thanks for that 
). I used to be bad. I didn’t care at all how much I’d been drinking before driving. Never thought twice about it, even after 2 DWIs. Once, when my daughter was extremely ill, I worried that if she got worse we’d have to go to the hospital and they’d know I was drunk for sure (luckily we didn’t). Since I did that every single day, it’s terrifying to think about how many others still do 
I’m so grateful that’s not me anymore 
And for you too. I need these reminders every once in a while to remember why I’m here.
@CATMANCAM Tho not typical, I’ve had my fair share of binge episodes and fully understand the chip(crisp) addiction. I could easily(mindlessly) finish a full sized bag in one sitting. I just don’t buy them anymore. I recently read they’re the number 1 snack that contributes to weight gain, so there’s another consequence to focus on when a craving hits (if that’s something you think would help ) Sorry your results weren’t what you hoped, but I see you working hard for this. Stay consistent and your body will come around 
@2JTravNZ So sorry for your loss I’m proud of you for making the right choice, and I’m sure your friend would be too. Take care of yourself 
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454
Just a day. Pretty slow, but nothing wrong with that. Besides first thing this morning, my body feels much better after seeing the chiropractor yesterday. She thinks my knee pain is likely caused by my hip flexors, which are chronically tight. This was the initial cause of my back pain at 16, so it makes sense. I think it’s time to incorporate some of my old physical therapy alignment exercises into my workout routine again.
On a more annoying note, my ex got sanctioned for testing positive for marijuana…AGAIN! He’s back in jail for a week. Awesome 
He’s been on drug court since 2020 with no release date. Basically whenever they feel he’s ready. Heh, not anytime soon now 
Weed is the least of my worries, but it only makes me wonder what else he’s been up to. Every other substance has a much shorter detection time, and those are the issue. As long as he’s not drinking, I would hope that he’s not stupid enough to go back down that road, but he surprises me all the time. Plus I can’t be sure he isn’t drinking. Trying not to think the worst. Just sucks my daughter can’t see her father bc he had to get stoned knowing full well the consequences.
Anyway. I feel like I haven’t been on here alot lately. Too much time at work 
I have tomorrow off but I have to stay home and greet internet tech that’s installing my new service, who is coming anytime between 12pm-5pm. Hoping it’s earlier rather than later 
Have a great 24 everyone!
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I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Forgot to check but I should be in day 77.
Got my period last night and for the first time like ever it made me happy. Because right there is a good and valid reason for my last year’s shorts to not fit yesterday.
And it won’t cause me any trouble on Saturday.
First two days are usually horrible nowadays.
I swear it gets worse with age, and irregular.
I read that peri-menopaus can last for about 10 years. I really hope not, but at least I know what it is. So I don’t have to worry about that. And for now it’s still somewhat smooth. So all good.
Beautiful weather today again. I wish we had this warm weather year around. I’m not made for cold dark winters. But this, I absolutely love this even if I think it could be a little warmer.
Probably no garden work today, maybe a walk and some relaxing in the sun.
Bought three new western inspired dresses and one shawl on second hand this week so I’ll wash and prepare it all for Saturday.
Weather forecast still looks good, and I hop le it doesn’t change.
That’s all Folks.
Nothing more to report.
Love you guys and wishing y’all a wonderful day
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Thanks everyone for the kind words
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@Jeanine Congrats on three days. These early days are truly rough. It‘s good to see that you have a plan though and are smart enough to decline invites to potentially triggering venues. Do you have a chance to join a recovery meeting? Either in person or online? They always help me through the hard parts of a day and balance me out. Sending you strength for today
@CleanHeart Good to see you working on recovery so tirelessly 
@Butterflymoonwoman Hope your boy stays healthy and wishing you the best sleep ever 
@Steve14 I am very impressed by small business owners and the stories you are sharing here about your work. You have to stay on top of so many things. Especially on keeping everything organised and smoothly running. I wouldn‘t make it even a day.
@2JTravNZ I am so very sorry for your loss friend. There are no words for such a situation. I very much hope you have good people around you to lean on. If you feel like this might somewhat help then by all means please do come here and share what you are going through. Much strength and love
@Soberbilly Wow. That is quite impressive work you are doing there. Like a serious gym but on a completely other level.
@Danwood85 You can not keep up on this thread. If you try you will just burn yourself out. Read as much as it helps and if you feel like responding to something directly then do it, or not. That‘s the beauty of online. There will always be someone here cause it will always be a time for sharing somewhere on this globe 
@Juli1 There was a time when I used to enjoy swimming a lot. This feeling of being immersed in a surreal world, just my breath, my movement, the water. All the sensory input dimmed and changed, like in a space capsule. I totally can relate to that. In a way yoga is now for me this capsule. Just my breath and my movement, this kind of flowing through receiving the world and myself.
On the topic of eating and ED: Give it time until you feel like there is room for it in your life. If you have a history of dieting and restriction - and what woman has not - then kindness and forgiveness and self-love are IMHO the most important tools. Keep up the sunshine and the flow in your life 
@CATMANCAM So nice to hear you are going to visit your baby niece soon 
@Brian1965uk Congrats on 18 moths! What an accomplishment 
175 sugar
39 UPF
46 gluten
25 dairy
12 overeating/binge
My tummy bug is not gone yet but I was able to eat more already yesterday and I know my body has been in survival mode this last week. This means it will want to make up for the lack of good food in the following days. I want to be very mindful around food and eating today cause I know this time after such a long period of restriction can lead to all kinds of overeating triggers. This one day at a time I am going to be mindful about my eating.
Today I want to start with a first round of prototyping my ideas for the game mechanics on the game I‘m currently working on. I have a general concept but need to test out how it feels. Probably more game design studies and there are still some talks from my festival stream I have not checked out yet. My favourite is still the one about using crafts in video games.
I hope I can take a short walk today and an easy yoga session in the afternoon. I‘d also like to join a Dharma meeting in the evening.
However life may surprise us today, let‘s stay curious friends, in peace, kindness and freedom 
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I grew up in it. My dad owned a home remodeling business and had about 40 employees and handled multiple crews at different job sites so I learned a lot from him. Mine is much more manageable thank god 
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Day 326. Working 7.30- 3.30pm
I feel now I’m sober I can just get up and crack on which is fabulous
Went to in laws last night. Was OK but a bit stressful… They were on champagne then red then white then dessert wine…I was on nosecco which I like but sometimes I find these social situations quite hard… But all good… Looking forward to quiet time the rest of the week
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Checking in, still sober on day 134. 
Luckily, it feels easy to stay sober now, and I’m super grateful. I even bought white wine for risotto last week, and while I had the thought, I wasn’t really tempted to drink some of it.
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Totally understandable and relatable on wanting to reply to everyone but only having so much energy - I always appreciate your replies even if I dont say much in return 
So sorry to hear youre being overworked, thats a terrible feeling. Sending you strength, and truly hope you can at least get some relaxation time on your two weeks - and awesome of you to take those two weeks to begin with!
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Day 31 part 2
Despite waking up feeling depressed, I had a really good day. An exhausting, non stop running around, but genuinely good day. It was a lot, but it was all worth it. Glad I also have the day after tomorrow off, so I can hopefully get some actual time to myself.
Volunteered today and though it was a bit stressful and lasted much longer than I anticipated (was supposed to be there for 2 hours but ended up staying for 4), I genuinely enjoyed it, and getting to know the people there better is awesome. Makes things that much more comfortable.
Also meal prepped for an entire week, for the first time ever today. Something I’ve been looking forward to for so long. Spent about 4.5 hours on it altogether, and was in a time crunch the whole time because theres only so many hours in the day, but I thoroughly enjoyed it nonetheless. Satisfying bekng able to prepare and plate everything exactly how I want it. And it feels so good knowing for an absolute fact, that for this week, I have truly healthy, delicious meals ready and available for myself (that I actually WANT to eat). For breakfast, lunch, and dinner. No bullshit, no one messing with my food or my plans, no last minute decisions, none of that. I truly dont think I’ve ever been able to say that in my entire life until now - “I know I have healthy meals available for me all week.” Really happy with myself for doing that for myself. Here’s a pic, for shits and giggles (and for anyone curious - the Brew Dr. cans are just kombucha! Highly recommend!)
Also went on a long walk with a friend, hanging out with him was long overdue, and we both had a great time, great conversations and lots of laughs.
After 31 days, I can say I honestly enjoy being sober so much more than I expected. Its not boring, its the complete opposite. Spent so many days crying, feeling stuck in my situation with no idea how to move out of it. Its still going to be a long process, but being sober, I feel so much less stuck. I feel like I’m finally making progress and taking steps towards the life I want to live, and getting where I want to be. I have a clearer mind, and its insanely easier to manage stress compared to when I was drinking.
I’ve also noticed I’m genuinely happier. I truly feel more confidence, and more self love than I can remember having in a while. The self love I’ve been feeling has been so healing.
I notice myself acting goofy, being silly, cracking jokes to others, stone cold sober - I always thought I needed alcohol to truly loosen up, but I actually have more fun and more laughs now, than I did when I was drinking. I feel safe dancing, which is huge, because I have ALWAYS felt the need for alcohol in order to feel comfortable dancing around people. Its crazy how many positive changes I’ve noticed after just 30 days.
Long rant, but all of it was worth mentioning. Not going to get enough sleep tonight and thats going to suck in the morning, but not nearly as much as it would if I was still drinking - and knowing I’ve got an awesome, easy breakfast waiting for me is another plus.
Hope everyone is doing well. Rooting for all of you. These are some of the reasons why we’re all in this, and how worth it it is. So proud of all of us 
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Thanks Laura, appreciate your reply. It’s nice to know what I’m writing is actually helping others even if it’s originally only intended as self reflection. Hope your chiro can sort out your pain!
Day 58 check in here. Starting to feel like a lifetime ago I was drinking. I think one thing I’ve improved the most is my writing skills. My paragraphs are starting to feel a bit more cohesive with better structure. Not a huge improvement, but when I read my sent emails or replies on here I think my words are making more sense.
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Day 131 AF
Up and at em, albeit tired. Sleep was not as deep or as restorative as I’d have liked.
I think I’ll take tonight off and get some decent rest after work and some needed gym time, get back at the lawn gig Thurs eve and Fri.
Anyway, tired but sober and feel good.
Make this the best day you can TS posse
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