Day 52 i dont know if its the nice weather or the boredom but i am really wanting a drink todšŖ
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Day 326 second check in. Worked from 7.30-4.00ā¦work is really good. I feel very effective at the momentā¦ Busy day tomoro. Then three days off.
Nearly 11 months??? Where has all the time gone!!
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Probably both. Donāt let them tease or tempt you.
You know it just isnāt how imagine it will be if you pick up.
Sending you strength 
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@K_S Thank you for all you support. I have alot of catching up to do here. The days just seem to be disappearing 
hope your well 
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Progress not perfection.
Also recognising that itās not always you and sometimes we can be pulled into these scenarios without noticing. Your becoming alert and recognizing so much.
Iām really proud of you of you sharing your journey with us
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@pattycake I did get that walk in today (unfortunately much later than I wanted and the heat was intense). 308 days is great to see Patty! 
@trixie1 So lovely to see you checking in and with 8 months!!! Awesome efforts friend ā keep it going strong 
@brokenwolf WOW Richard ā love the positive attitude and so happy to see you checking in with 900 days! Sorry about the promotion ā you are right ā something bigger and better does await you! Keep enjoying the positive spell
@mindofsobermike Well done on your 6 months of sobriety Mike! I love that you are enjoying your work and that you are proud of where you are at in your journey. You should be proud ā you have accomplished so much my friend. Keep the positive attitude and the gung ho spirit going.
@trustybird Way to go Emilie! Love the honest and sober feeling.
@juli1 Brain fog in my sober journeys hit hard around the 3 month mark. Hang in there love ā it does not last. Hope you are able to continue enjoying the yoga and swimming and that the moves will help with your backache
@positivethoughts Deep breathes friend. I do hope that you are able to find time for yourself and rest. I can only imagine how hard it is to find quiet time with a baby. Sending calming energy your way. Remember that you are not alone. ODAAT!
@butterflymoonwoman GIRL that is super awkward and freaky. Sorry that you had to endure it and I hear ya on becoming nicer during recovery. I do hope that you are able to rest easy tonight and not let the anxiety of possibly meeting him tomorrow ruin the rest of your day. If you are not able to take someone else or go to a different stop near you (both suck as you should be able to go where you want ā when you want without anxiety) try being firm with him and stating that you are not interested. I know that unfortunately for some people this is not a sign to back off ā hopefully this guy will not bother you again. Make sure to leave a good description of the guy with your husband. I wish I had better advice of how to handle this. Be safe
@whereswaldo Nicely done! About to hit that 6 month mark and you are in the gym ā keeping to your word. Impressive
@chase.e.u 52 days is impressive work friend. Try to play that tape forward ā it will not be worth it to have that drink. The nicer days and outdoor activities really do bring on the urges. Boredom is also a killer temptation for our addict mind. I would find something to do (go for a walk, cook, do a puzzleā¦ anything to keep you busy mentally and physically until this temptation passes. Spend time reading here ā that always helps me out.
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You mean alot to me too 
Always have so much to learn and take from your posts there is so much meaning and love your giving us
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Thank you! Baby steps to true, authentic honesty.
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Hows your little bundle of joy? How are you guys adjusting?
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Checking in at the end of day 4.
@JazzyS thank you for the encouragement! Yes! Been doing a mental urge log and riding them out.
@acromouse thanks for the strength! I felt it today. Iām struggling to find an online meeting. I used to go to the Smart Recovery online meetings when it was the old Smart. They had multiple online meetings throughout the day. Now with the new Smart, they are fewer and far between. Attending those really helped.
@Mno thank you so much for the encouragement.
Made it through today. It was tough as this was a trigger day for me, but I made it through. Really focused on being grateful today. Reminded myself of the consequences of alcohol. Itās a glass of poison.
I had to go to the grocery store today and thatās always a trigger. Before I went in I reviewed my RPM and made a covenant with my eyes to not even look in the direction of the alcohol aisle. I made it out free and clear.
Today I changed the lock on the salesman and didnāt answer the door. Today I won!
A quote I appreciate āOur negative core beliefs feed our maladaptive state. Our maladaptive state produces short term positive payoff, long term negative consequences.ā Letās break the cycle!
Have a good night.
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166 days
Had a good bike ride into work, got a bit of heavy rain in the first 5mins but after that just a couple showers. Wasnāt as cold as I was expecting. No wind which is definitely my most hated of the elements.
Mid afternoon here at work. Been busy so far today. Nothing exciting but plenty of getting out and about.
Still have another 16hrs left in the shift. This is an early check in for me mainly because I often forget at work and then usually get in just in the nick of time
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455
Just checking in before bed 
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1804
Lots of craziness at work still. There seems to be this periods where nasty things happen and sad negative messed up folks come and go, and cause mayhem along the way. Well, it is an addiction clinic where I work. But times like these make me not want to work there. One day and itās my weekend.
Writing class resumes tonight, I had a hard time coming up with my 1000 words assignment. Iām happy I did it last night though, even when Iām tired now. Long day ahead. Iām sober and clean. That helps lots. In fact that is the beginning of all that follows. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it clean and sober. Lots of love from my little square. The trees are doing well this spring.
@Mindofsobermike Six months Mike! Thatās awesome friend, big congrats!
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@Mno I hope your work situation improves a bit today. Enjoy your writing class.
@MrFantastik Are we talking bike as in cyclist or as in motorbike?
@Jeanine Well done with day 4! Maybe youād like to try other meeting formats if your preferred SMART meeting is not available. I started attending Recovery Dharma meetings several members here suggested and Iām liking them a lot. I sometimes just listen in.
@CHASE.E.U The sneaky voice of addiction will always find a āreasonā to want you to use. Bored? Anxious? Tired? Upset? Excited? Nice weather? Bad weather? It really doesnāt care. It only wants to be fed. Donāt give it a chance. Distract yourself. Meditate. Comer here. Vent. Maybe listen in on an online meeting of some sorts. Use all your tools friend. Sending you strength
@K_S Nice to see you stacking those days
@Whereswaldo Nice!!! Way to go on starting exercising. Enjoy it, let it give you strength and confidence, and take care of yourself really nicely 
@Danwood85 Good to hear you enjoyed your jog. Moods will change, everything does. You keep doing your thing 
@Butterflymoonwoman Please donāt berate yourself for not having done things differently. You reacted to a situation in a normal way. What would you like to be instead: A paranoid person who does not even give another human being the chance to approach you? Now the situation developed in a direction you did not feel comfortable with. Happens. You tried to set some boundaries. The guy did not react appropriately. He either did not get your signals or his need to connect with someone overrode the signals. Should you see him again you get the chance to practice communicating your needs for boundaries more clearly. Youāll do well. This is part of normal human interactions.
Overthinking is often a symptom of trying to control a situation we donāt have control over.
@PositiveThoughts Iām sorry to hear you are so stressed at the moment. Are there things you could do to reduce the stress or some techniques to release the stress?
@Juli1 Keep on healing 
176 sugar
40 UPF
47 gluten
26 dairy
13 overeating/binge
Tummy bug still there. I ate more yesterday as I was feeling better and Iām hungry. Now the symptoms have worsened. I hope this settles soon. Iām slowly getting fed up with this tummy stuff. At least I wonāt come up with the idea of using food for anything but hunger.
Had a sugar eating dream. The first one I remember since starting my abstinence. In the end of the dream I realised the food was infested with some kind of bugs and I had to throw it away. Weird stuff a mind can come up with.
I had a really nice dharma meeting last night. There is an online group that meets every day and itās a good time for me as it translates to the late evening in my time zone. This was my second time with this group and I liked it there. I think I keep coming back.
Today more work at my current game. Another iteration of the ideation process: generating ideas, editing and refining them. Some more work with my prototype. Itās an interesting phase. On the one hand I have a good basic idea of the game and the player experience itself. On the other hand I have not fully developed a game mechanic I am satisfied with yet. Staying curious.
I feel fit enough to do groceries today. Some light exercise and yoga in the afternoon. Dharma meeting in the evening.
Letās find some peace, kindness and freedom today friends 
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Bicycle. Its a 18km trip. I ride an old GT mountain bike that Iāve had from new. Its got knobbly tires and 26in wheels so its not the easiest commuter bike, but on cold rainy mornings it feels sure-footed.
Iāve got a new mtb but I have had a bad time with it. Want to sell the new one and upgrade but I dont think I can get rid of my old bike, too many fun times with it and its proven to be super reliable
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- Still in some hormonal limbo but going thru the motions and trusting the process of ODAAT. Iām booked into yoga and weight lifting this morning, so am hoping that lifts my spirits and heart.
Iāve been starting to feel some resentments towards people and I need to just let go. I think itās always hard to let go when you know your own intentions are pure and good. And you feel that the other person isnāt respecting you. This stems into validation issues. Listened to a really good sober podcast yesterday and he went into this explaination of repeated need for validation due to learned and acquired low self image. Yeah. Struggled with this my whole life and at some point you have to realise that some people simply are not worth it. When you find your peace and wellbeing, itās time to let go of those who harmed you, because they do not deserve your healed person. I think Iām looking to be super streamlined about who I let into my life from now on. Good vibes only. Positive, open and trusting folk with brave and wild hearts.
Also, I have massive brain fog, as yesterday I realised that the car MOT has expired over a month ago and we have been running around in an unlawful car. Ooops. Got it in the garage pronto same day for MOT and service. Of course it failed on emissions and so Iāve left it there for them to do what they need to get it tuned up and purring. The Peugeot money eater lives.
Apart from that, Iām looking forward to Saturday and the last day of the WSL. itās down to the wire and goal difference and last day horror. 
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 78.
Went up early and made pancakes for breakfast.
Boys wanted ācowboy foodā so weāre having bbq skewers for dinner,with corn on the cob of course. 
Weather is still beautiful.
Talked to my cousin on the phone yesterday and my mother called 4 timesā¦ Guess she was lonely.
Forecast for Saturday still looks good and with 2 days left it looks hopeful.
Kids have been preparing their western/cowboy outfits all week. Yesterday they made a list of all the things they need to get the ultimate outfit for this season.
Cowboy boots is on top of that list.
Not sure where weāll find that but my hope is at a Western store not far away from the theme park. Weāre going to visit that store for our 14 y/o birthday in June, when he actually turns 14.
Thatās all Folks.
Wishing you a happy Thursday.
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@JazzyS thank you š©µ
@2JTravNZ so sorry for your loss proud of your for dealing with the news in a healthy manner š©µ congrats on your PB DL 
@Just_Laura thank you, thatās good to read after yet another reset, I will keep that in mind 
Iām sorry about your ex 
@wahtisnormal I love all of this for you š©µ
@Trixie1 congrats on 8 months 
@BrOKenWolf congrats on 900 days
@Mindofsobermike congrats on 6 months
@Butterflymoonwoman Iām sorry about the encounter that made you uncomfortable I wouldnāt know what to do in that situation either and Iād be feeling exactly how you described. If he does start being there regularly, I wonder if your husband could accompany you one time, maybe that would make the message clearer. I hope you just donāt encounter him again. 
@CHASE.E.U I hope you managed to find something to distract yourself, itās not worth it, sending strength š©µ
@Jeanine congrats on making it through your triggers
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