1374 days no alcohol.
839 days no cocaine.
354 days no vape.
0 days no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
Caught in a web of depression, fairly sure itās because the weather is miserable again after being nice for a few days.
I read a chapter of the book Iām reading.
I listened to 2 hours of my current audiobook. 1.5hrs more to finish it before it becomes unavailable, so Iām planning to get through the rest today.
I watched an episode of TV in the lounge.
I went out for a walk in the rain, to the shopping centre, to buy a card for my brother and SILs wedding anniversary. I also bought healthy real food for lunch.
I received my parcel with my brother and SILs 10th wedding anniversary gift.
But then the depression wave intensified and before I knew it my reptilian brain had taken over and I was bingeing again. I donāt even remember going to the shop. Itās all a blur now.
I have my appointment scheduled at the eating disorder clinic at the hospital in Cambridge on the 24th, so Iām really hoping they can help me out of this mess somehow. Because it has escalated so much worse than it was the last time I was under their care. Iām embarassed and ashamed that I havenāt managed to recover.
Checking in 246 SAF/232 no smokes.
So the move is finally over. Tuesday was very stressful trying to have settlements in two different states and still get to the place to have the movers meet there and unload everything. Me and the wife been together 27 years and itās amazing how much stuff you accumulate over time. Even with throwing a lot out prior, unpacking is still a lengthy process. I think weāll like it here though seems like all the neighbors so far are pretty decent people. Iāll check back in when itās not so hectic around here.
Love yaās
Itās a good day to relax and be at peace. I was reading TragicFās post and thinking I feel much the same way lately.
People from my past are popping their heads up and I donāt want them. Some of them are fairly good but lack courage. Some have become victims. Many play along with unethical behavior. Itās sad and negative and I left to be free of the corruption and rot.
So they keep popping up this week wanting to go to lunch, get back into my life and Iām like, WTH. Soon as I get a little sober time. I donāt want to know how crappy things are at work. Itās a perfect death spiral over there. The sad faces. Alcohol. Futility. I can take it in very small doses. Otherwise it drags on me. I think part of me was happy, at first, that I was cared about. But Iām not sleeping well and often feel like thereās ick on me that I need to wash off.
Iām supposed to do a lunch tomorrow but Iām going to bump it. I need to be at peace.
Heavy rain today, a perfect day to reset. Iām scheduling more home repairs and renovations, finally. Time to move forward. Iām excited about the future.
Lots of love, I need to read some posts on coffee 2.
Itās been a while since I last checked in and figured itās about time. Thank you @Twizzlers for checking in on me in the You Are Missed thread and sorry for leaving it till now to post.
Iām alive and sober. Iām also travelling again and the schedule has been a bit hectic so I tried justā¦ living in the outside world, taking it all and spending less time on the internet. Sometimes I get in my head and unhealthily obsessed with certain things that happen in the online. I saw something that triggered me and I felt like the best course of action was taking a step back. Sorryā¦ thatās vague but a good of an explanation as any.
Anywhoā¦ My travels are a much deserved break and weāre getting close to a nice Croatian island where weāre spending a good few weeks. I need pretty views to clear my little head.
Hey fellows, yesterday was a good day, 10th day of being sober. Continuing morning habits like breath exercises of various kind, even started 10min meditation sessions and itās something which definitely helps body and mind to be in control, balance and helps overall emotional stability. Doing my best in eating smart and healthy, still can do better though but Iām so much thankful to God, Jesus, angels around me for great support in enabling me to sport, do trainings and getting into shape. And I thank all of you, coming here every day, reading posts which also helps me to stay firmly on ground - no matter how strong I feel, no alcohol got me here. Be well,
Day 53 I didnt drink. I watched a movie and went to bed instead. Then got up and did p90X yoga and now getting ready for work. Ps. P90X can kiss my ass hahaha thanks everyone for always being here with supportive words you guys are amazing
Travel Tip - Take sometime and write out your checklist, then put your checkmarks . It will ease your mind that you have what you need, and youāve done what you need to do.
No explanation needed. Taking care of yourself is priority, but for what itās worth I can relate percent and have been doing the same lately. I keep saying Iām going to dive in headfirst and get more involved here but my gut tells me I still need to have some distance at the moment. Embracing vulnerability is hard sometimes but itās important work. Iām so glad youāre traveling again and hope youāre enjoying your time!
Just a random thought I had today I need to write down. Itās often heard that you shouldnāt compare yourself to others. Iām only just realising that not only does it mean donāt compare yourself to people who you feel are doing better than you (grass isnāt always greener), but also those you think are doing worse. Iāve realised I often compared myself to those who are less fortunate, or have a worse addiction, or who are really angry etc. i look at them and say āwell at least Iām not THAT badā. How effed is that. 1. I shouldnt be looking down on people and feeling better than them. 2. I shouldnāt be using other peopleās issues as an excuse for my own bad behaviours just because 'im not THAT bad.
Far out. Sobriety is cool but you realise some hard truths about yourself.
Day 2245. Crazy how life has evolved. Before I got soberā¦I āneededā huge and grandiose things to qualify as a good day. Best part of the day yesterday, watching the 8 month old Grandson salivate while watching grandma fry chicken. Any day that child smiles is a good day for me.
I feel like your stomach issues have been ongoing for some time now, maybe itās time to see a doctor? Iām sorry your symptoms have flared back up 
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. It will ease your mind that you have what you need, and youāve done what you need to do.
percent and have been doing the same lately. I keep saying Iām going to dive in headfirst and get more involved here but my gut tells me I still need to have some distance at the moment. Embracing vulnerability is hard sometimes but itās important work. Iām so glad youāre traveling again and hope youāre enjoying your time!
