So well said!
7 Likes
107 days AF
Itās raining like shit but the thunderstorm has calmed down. Think I will make my way to the outdoor pool now. I am happy today š©·
Still got good results by talking to my bad thoughts like to a third person! āAh noo thanks no interest todayā
Love you guys 
19 Likes
Enjoy your day!
3 Likes
Thank you Leroy 
2 Likes
Day 183. Thanks for the love everyone, been going to sleep with a little congestion in my chest and coughing. Girls were sick when i was home, autumn has pnk eye and strept throat. Think the little viper bit me lol, got some sudafed and cold medicine. Hopefully ill push it out, girls have been to doctors couple times and got medication prescribed and so far with the new insurance not a single co pay has been needed. Pretty happy with that, but much love everyone. Keep doing what you do, dont look at the past, dont focus to much on the future just focus on today.
20 Likes
Hey all, checking in on day 1432. I hope everybody has a good one!
18 Likes
Day 1244,
Just checking in, have a good day 
16 Likes
Had a relaxing morning with a hike and wrote for a bit. This afternoon I needed to go to the bazaar for shopping and ran some errands in town. Everything was going well then suddenly got hard when a man bumped into me. It happens especially in a crowded place like the bazaar and usually isnāt an issue but he fell in such a way that I just went into a panic. Logicaly I knew it was just a person tripping up on accident and bumping into me but in my mind and body I felt I was being attacked which sent me into fight or flight. For me this is always fight. In things like this its like my body just takes over and I loose control. And now I feel terribleā¦I elbowed the guy in the face pretty hard and stepped away. I realized then what happenedā¦was like my brain started functioning again. Thankfully this man didnāt give any hassle. He tripped into me and thought that it was all just an accident that I hit him while it happened. I went home after and it shows me again that these memories and things are getting brought up again. I looked back on the last days and realized I get anxious and twitchy anytime a man comes near, that I turn aggressive when I need to talk to a man or avoid situations where I have to(with the exception of my neighbors sons) and now turn to hitting when touched by a man even accidentally. Iāve noticed Iām being hypervigilent and overly cautious again. I am so frustrated by these things happening again. Iāve not had a big issue with these things in nearly 7 years with a few exceptions scattered throughout. And now Iām nearly incapable of talking to a man and apparently want to punch any who touches me. I donāt want to be so quick to anger or aggressive but itās like I canāt control my bodys reaponse in these situations. It nearly feels like starting over from where I was years agoā¦
Iām starting this workbook tomorrow and hope that working on this helps.
It makes me feel weak to have this issueā¦even though I know Iām not a weak person. But itās how I feel weak, ashamed and extremely frustrated.
But I didnāt crave drinking even with these things. And am 42 days sober so for that Iām glad.
15 Likes
Day 79. Today is #6 wedding anniversary. Bittersweet divorce is pending. Pending on the event of total change of my past attitude and behavior. It is so easy to just blame alcohol and now I am sober life should be perfect. Unfortunately that is not the case. I take responsibility for the choice of drinking and not being present. But the present environment was so much easier to deal with numb.
However the fact that I still have hope of repairing relationship and husband is still present and participating is a positive thing
17 Likes
We are all doing amazing
Yesterday we went to 1830s pilgroom outside like musam place
Buildings and actors brought 1830s to life right infrunt of us
Alot of schools and programs for kids go to learn
We had so much fun
Our baby boy got scared of sheeps lol
Hes really doing well
All 3 of us are
10 Likes
Hi all, checking in day 25. Hope youāre all well
17 Likes
2y3m3d
Another busy day on the go. Got my workout in already and had a nice 1.5 hour chat with my mom. Ive also been trying to fill out registration forms for my son for next year of school but am having issues finding the right forms, so thats been a headache. But other than that, the sun is shining and its been a decent day! Now to just do somw tidying up and relax. Hope everyone is well!
16 Likes
Checking in day 136 AF 
15 Likes
Day 327, second check in. Good day at work. Iām off now till Monday (apart from a meeting first thing tomoro)
Really enjoy my job. Such a blessing. In return I am so much more effective and productive. And being alcohol free makes me a hell of a lot more bloody useful in the morning.
Watching Downton Abbey this evening 
14 Likes
Thanks Billy, very touching. Look at that sweet little Billy
I really am on a path of letting go now, itās just real hard some days.
Lots of love.
11 Likes
I was sheltered for 2.5 months focused on recovery, and I must say that re-integrating is a bitch! The tricky people. Tricky culture. Yikes it is super weird. There was a huge in-migration here recently (pandemic). So there isnāt an easy way to get around. Just gridlock and very angry people wondering what happened. Lots of layoffs and budget issues now. Vibe is way off. Aggressive. Iām picking it up. But I can let it go.
I have healing to do but itās not an anger thing. Every time I re-integrate I might need to take a step back afterwards. Iām learning to live sober and be calm. 
13 Likes
Thanks Billy. I live in the Austin area of Texas.
6 Likes
Yes, it is suffering I am seeing that looks like anger. Fear looks like anger many times. Compassion really is the way. So grateful to step off the wheel and get sober. Iām raw and sensitive - everything that is negative is amplified. At ease for sure. Iāll be looking to practice more and learn to sit still. So happy to be home listening to the rain with a cup of green tea. 
on point!
Thanks so much for understanding and listening.
9 Likes
Checking in almost 60 days clean. Feels better day by day but remembering its easy to slip up. Temptations have been there at times but have been keeping busy and not letting my thoughts get to me
19 Likes
Day 48.
Just wishing you all a good night.
See you tomorrow!
20 Likes