Checking out day 132 AF
3 lawns tonight after work (extra added from neighbor of current client), so finally home, ate, showered in bed for 8:30pm. It was a long day that begins at 5am (well wake at 3:30am) but feeling very strong lately, energetic, motivatedā¦ alive!!
One client left for this week to do, take another swipe mowing mine, then just gym and putter around house for weekend.
Tickets to see Styx in concert Sunday night so that should be a blast.
Stay sober and rest well TS family
Iām with you on how good a āboringā day can be. While drinking, I always had to be going somewhere, doing something, being seen. If I didnāt leave the house it was a boring day. Now I donāt find myself aching to get out, and Iām perfectly fine with that 
Enjoy that grandson of yours!
Sending you hugs to ur 5 year old self 
What ur doing thru meditation is soo powerful friend. I am very much all about the inner child and i havent explored what my inner child needs quite yet. But ur post really impacted me. Hugs
Day 333. At work. Pretty chill night. Off for the weekend come morning. One day at a time.
Coming up on the end of day 5. I made it farther than I did last time 
@acromouse thanks for the suggestion.
It was an okay day today. I can feel my body trying to recover. Feels good though. I took a nap on my lunch break. Had a brief but intense battle with the salesman. Once again I had to slam that door and change the lock.
Congratulations to everyone for making it through today sober.
āFailure only occurs when we stop tryingā.
Have a good night
2y3m3d
Day is winding down and im ready to hop into the shower and get ready for bed. We have homecare tonight so im looking forward to a good rest. I just want to say how inspired i am of everyone here on TS. Ive really felt connected to what alot of people were saying on here and i truly dont feel alone today becuz of that. Im so amazed by everyone 
Im feeling a little overwhelmed financially so ive been sitting here trying to move money around and adjust things so that everything will get figured out. I wish i could work a full time job but thats not possible with my sons condition. Thats okay. I manage the house and whatnot instead. But i wish i could still work more. My day was okay otherwise. Son has no school tmrw on mon (holidays) so im looking forward to spending the day with him. Have a goodnight everyone! 
@acromouse thank you, hahah. Stacking days One Day At A Time.
@Tragicfarinelli 140 days of continuous progress!
@Tragicfarinelli Iām glad you spoke on this because itās something I struggle with. It really is a shitty feeling and does cause resentment towards other youāre trying to get validation from. Can you tell me some of the sober podcast that you listen to? I know I would benefit from them.
@Tragicfarinelli i know thatās right! I love this!
& speaking on brain fogs 
omg! I see my therapist/counselor/psychologist tomorrow because since Iāve started a new mood stabilizer Iām noticing major changes in my mental health. For the worst. I just wanna get this handled. Iām sorry for rambling I hope youāve had a good day! & better days are ahead. 
@MrsOdh 78 days of continuous improvement towards a healthier you!
Happy Thursday!
@Chevy55 132 days of continuous progress, my guy! Keep on keepinā on. & man That really is a beautiful picture. Hope you had a wonderful addiction free Thursday!
@Dolse71 your days are inspiring! No itās not always easy but it can be kept simple. #ODAAT donāt pick up-dont use just for this 24 we have today. Keep on keepinā on!
@CATMANCAM coming in with the big numbers! keep on keepinā on!
@CATMANCAM it happens, Iām hoping you get the help youāre seeking when you go to the doctor on the 24th! Youāre tackling 4 addictions at once, youāre doing very well!
@Timetochange 327 days of continuous improvement towards a healthier you, Iām all for it! Sorry to hear about your wife, hopefully the chiropractor will be able to help relieve some of the pain. Keep on keepinā on!
@Lighter happy for you identifying things that are taking a toll on you. Do whatever necessary to be at peace and maintain it! Good to hear āIām excited about the futureā
Happy Thursday, Marie!
@Bunto congrats on 10 days of continuous progress! Keep on keepinā on. Happy 24!
@Steve92 keep on keepinā on brother! Inspiring days you have my guy!
@CHASE.E.U another day marked on the calendar. 53 days of no drinking and building a healthier you! Keep on keepinā on!
@Rookie Have a good day, Kristen. Congratulations on 1 week of sobriety!
@Doreen1 have a great day. 234 days of creating a version of yourself your family loves. Safe travels
@dakini thank you for being here checking in with us! Congrats on 9 days! keep on keepinā on!
@leroy congratulations on not picking up today! 53 daysāway to go!
@Thirdmonkey it really is the small things that matter! Happy Thursdayā2245 days of consistency is amazing!
@Pattycake Happy Thursday, Patricia. Keep on keepinā on thanks for your positive output.
@Juli1 Happy Thursday, Julia. 107 days AF, cool beans!
@Mindofsobermike Seems like you have a lot going on, Michael. Daddy duties never stop, hope the girls recover soon, and also dad! Keep on keepinā on brother
@tailee17 keep on keepinā on!
this is a very positive thing. Better days are ahead. I feel like I kinda understand the situation youāre in.
so trueā¦it is very easy to just blame the alcohol. The reality is that weāve done so much some intentionally and some unintentionally that thereās no way that we stop drinking and everything goes away as if nothing happenedā¦this was one of my biggest problems. I thought because I stopped drinking my wife would just forget about everything and trust me againā¦it hurts when you know youāre doing all you can to show up for yourself and your spouse but things arenāt aligning. At least thatās what Iām going through. For you, I hope everything works out in your favor. 
@Seizetheday Hey, Hannah. keep on keepinā on.
@Lighter that is good, Marie. Self-awareness. I like the taking a step back afterwards when youāve been involved with the angry people and tricky culture. Do the necessary to stay at peace and sober, Marie.
I used to live in San Antonio, Tx and I would always go to 6th street in Austin with my friends. We would always stop by Olive Garden and then straight to bar hopping on 6th Street. Even looking back now, I was the one who was always overly excited, I was never the designated driver, they could appoint me as designated driver but we always had a back up, I never have been able to set a limit and actually follow it. I wish I would have started getting help back then.
@NewBeginning1 busy is good, Matt! An idle mind is the devils workshop. Congrats on 2 months brother, keep on keepinā on.
@JonasE goodnight, Jonas. Keep on keepinā on.
@Chevy55 man you have a lot going on! Thatās good! Still finding time for the gym, I love the tenacity! Keep on keepinā on brother.
@Soberbilly man, Thanks for sharing thatā¦it takes me to times that I may have been like that with my children and even my wife while in active addiction. Nothing is ever good enough, narcissistic behavior. I know I need some healing from my childhoodā¦I wasnāt physically abused but was mentally abused and I always never felt good enough, never felt the love everyone received, was never good enough for my step mom, she always singled me out and I acted like it didnāt bother me but it really did, felt like my dad allowed her to do that and he didnāt have my back & then thereās my mom, I saw my mom go through alot, her being mentally and physically abused, with me being the oldest I saw a lot and just swept it under the rug. I started drinking at 15 because I was never happy at either home. Thanks for sharing that,Billy. Sending love to you brother. .
@ForrestKump keep on keepinā on, John.
Checking in/out Day25. Thankful for another day sober. Thankful for everyone in this thread, I really enjoy reading and relating to everyone. Not a whole lot today. Sleeping in bed with our 4 y/o storming pretty bad outside right now. Goodnight family. #ODAAT
@jeanine Way to go with your persistence and strength ā no Mr Salesman ā we donāt want any of what you have to offer. Great job on getting through the grocery shopping ā this was super hard for me at the beginning and still catches me off guard from time to time. I go into the grocery store without my ID as this is a sure fire way of me not being able to buy something on a whim. Love the attitude ā yes ā lets break the cycle!
@catmancam Iām sorry that the depression is so intense and overwhelming. Please do not feel guilty or ashamed. Our minds and bodies are short circuited when our emotions run amok and I find that it is that much harder to control our comfort eating at that point. You are persistent in your journey and I am hopful that with the help from the clinic and your therapist that you will be able to conquer this as well. Big hugs friend ā please be gentle with yourself
@bunto Way to go with your double digits! Lovely to see you thriving in your journey with great habits
@chase.e.u Grateful to read this. WOW P90x yoga ā I didnāt know they had a yoga program. I used to do this back when it first came out ā was obsessed with the workouts (they are no joke :lauging: ). 53 days and getting stronger 
@rookie Nicely done with your 1 week. Keep up the great work
@doreen1 Deep breathes friend ā hope the anxiety takes a hike and you are able to enjoy your well deserved trip.
@whereswaldo Absolutely right on ā I had found myself in a similar boat. Finding that this sober journey is opening up many cupboards within me that need adjustingā¦ these hard truths are eye opening. I know I would never have attempted to see them had I not been sober.
@laner I donāt see you as weak. I see you dealing with some major trauma and in realizing how your body / mind handles some situation you are feeling anxious about your actions. I wish I had a comforting thing to say to help you feel better. I do hope that the workbook helps and that you are able to find a healthy way to deal with your trauma. Sending you big hugs and hoping that you show yourself some compassion and grace
@soberbilly Awe friend ā big hugs to your inner child. He would be so very proud of how you have turned your life around and found your way back to his innocence ā much love my sober buddy! 
@forrestkump triple 3ās ā yeah!! Way to go friend ā keep stacking up the days
Man it was a day ā very productive and on the go type of a day. I pushed through and got the majority of what i wanted to get done accomplished today. I did pile on the task list rather heavily today and with loads of ambition so not feeling so bad about the few things i did not get to.
It is now 12:30 here and i should try to get to bed as i want to be out on my walk before 7 tomorrow (the sun is getting hotter earlier each day 
Sweet dreams my lovely friends -wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening ā sending you all so much love
Hey @K_S sure 
This one is great: Sober Motivation, and the episode was with a guy called MJ (MICHAEL) as a guest. He had a really great message and his story was compelling. Possibly one of the most inspiring Iāve listened to lately. Lots of gems. He also recommends listening to Emotional sobriety by Tom Brady Junior, which is about an hour and on YouTube! Iām going to follow up on that.
This is the main one Iām listening to at the moment, and the other episode I recommend is the same podcast and with guest Josh Connelly.
I really recommend a listen of these
@Butterflymoonwoman I understand how stressful money issues are. They suck! 
Iāve been trying to crawl out of a financial black hole all year. Itās hard for me to accept living in this world that forces us to work our lives away just to survive. Time is more valuable than money to me and Iād rather struggle a little and enjoy it instead of working myself to death. As long as thereās steady money coming in, things will be alright
456
I fully expected my usual boring Thursday lunch shift, but no. Table after table from 11-3. Last night a co-manager text me saying they werenāt sure how to set up a party for tonight at 7pm, so I said Iād figure it out. I couldnāt believe what I walked into. Thereās 3 dining areas, each with about 12-15 tables, and at least 1 is set at all times. Itās always done the shift before, no matter what. Well, not last night! And nothing ready for me. I have no idea wtf they were doing 
The higher manager has been out sick for 3 days but there were 2 managers last night who clearly didnāt manage anything. The one who didnāt text me always leaves first and throws people under the bus for not doing their jobs to hide the fact she doesnāt do hers. Sheās repeatedly said she wonāt do something bc something wasnāt done for her. Iām never that type of person and just do what needs to get done but by the end of today I was thinking like that. I donāt like feeling that way 
It was nice coming home. Off to bed now. Tomorrow will be better
@Starlight14 thanks Kelly, it feels good to be reading and posting a bit more again.
@RosaCanDo yeahā¦ you hit the nail in the head here. Like, I want to be more involved and try to help people more on here and stuff. But ultimately, working on my own sobriety has to take priority.
Day 489.
Greetings and salutations from my magical little Croatian island. Iām having coffee on the balcony and all is right in my little mind. Wellā¦ the coffee could be better, but nothing in life is perfect, I guess.
We almost didnāt make it because the fucking ferry company changed the rules on dog travel this year. The woman at the till was rude about it too. Like Iām supposed to dream up their new rules they never bothered announcing on their website. So our options were to either not come and lose the deposit we put down for the accommodation or cough up on a very expensive taxi ride to get us across on the other ferry thatās cars only. Pet friendly taxis werenāt easy to find either. We did eventually find a good driver and the whole thing was quite the fun albeit expensive adventure.
Sure, now we have no idea how weāre getting off this island but thatās likeā¦ next monthās problem. Swimming is always an option 
Likeā¦ we try to be sustainable travellers. We recycle, we travel by train, we only fly once per year, we donāt drive. But considering how hostile public transportation options are towards dogs, Iām seriously considering starting to drive again. Start off by renting cars to get around places and maybe further down the line buy a van or something.
*Day 2067 
In Spain and having fun, but no luck with the weather. We had thunderstorms and hail 
And in between some sun.
But today promished to be a sunny day, so beach it is.
Had a few cravings, stupid but true. But not going to drink though. Itās like tempting for milk with a lactose intolerance I think.
Have a good day ore night all
Thank you so much 
x
1805
My weekend is here and damned I need it. Had a bad day at work yesterday, not because of anything happening but because of me. My heart wasnāt in it. Was irritated by some of the addicted mindsets I encountered. Itās been only two years but maybe itās time to move on? I was invited for a second interview next week, for the job I applied for. Feeling a bit of pressure now. Some highly educated and qualified managers to talk to. Well. Iām me. I know what Iām worth. I think. I feel. Iām sober and clean. Itāll be alright and I will be too. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@Amy30 I hope your dogās a good swimmer. Until than enjoy and relax. Great to see you friend.
What you wrote helps me feel better. I know these things but my heart has trouble accepting what my mind knows as truth. And I do have a hard time having compassion on myself. But hearing it from other people helps me. Iāve shoved all these things aside for so long wanting to forget my childhood and all my traumas but now that Iāve decided to no longer ignore it they are coming up fresh again and I need to deal with them. I donāt always know the best or healthy way to do that. But Iām trying. Thank you for encouraging me.
@Laner It is a brave thing to even take a look at our own pain. I hope you will find good ways to engage with yours. Be very kind to yourself. Wishing you strength, sure footing and good companions on your path.
@Mno It feels from your posts like you are in some kind of transitional space work wise. This is an exiting time. Sometimes also scary. Take your time to vent all this energy to friends. Donāt do this alone 
And thank you for the roses
@SoberWalker Thank you for your wonderful photos! As long as the cravings come and go like those storms, let the weather change.
@Amy30 Thanks for sharing your travel and island adventures. Now I have this story in my mind of you with your dog being stuck on the island. Movie material.
@Just_Laura Sounds like a story on how NOT to manage a venue 
@JazzyS Get some sleep girl 
@K_S Your remark about ānothing is ever good enoughā and narcissism really hit it for me. We can be like that towards everything, life itself, never grateful, our families, ourselves, our work, our emotions, our thoughts. Man thatās a can of worms there. Thank you.
@Jeanine I really like the salesman picture you use in your posts. I think I might nick that one.
@Chevy55 If you donāt mind me asking: How do you calculate how much you charge for a lawn?
@Soberbilly Now you made me hungry and longing for a good steak.
177 sugar
41 UPF
48 gluten
27 dairy
14 overeating/binge
So Iāve got two weeks of no overeating courtesy of my tummy bug Honestly I still feel nausea and some pain once in a while but I am feeling good otherwise so I assume this just takes some more time.
Apart from the fact that this tummy thing brought my counters up, it has helped me to explore the difference between overeating and feeling full after a meal where I ate a lot cause I was/am hungry. I already in these past months discovered a difference between bingeing and overeating.
Now feeling very full can be a consequence of overeating where I am using food as a coping strategy. But I can also feel full cause I ate late. I can feel full cause I have gone for quite some time with reduced food like now during this illness. I can also feel full cause Iāve gone hungry for a while and now I want to make up for that. I also can feel uncomfortable after eating cause I have some digestive issues.
So I feel like there are some nuances here I want to explore. This eating related and probably all process related addictions are not a black/white show.
Today I am looking forward to more editing and refining my ideas of the player experience I want to create with my current game. I am at this place where I want to absolutely obsess about my work 24/7 and my mind keeps coming back to it again and again. This obsession is a part of the creative process. On the other hand I know from experience that I have to rein this energy in, if I want it to be channeled into an actual result in the end and not just burn out. It feels like handling a unruly wild horse or wrestling with a crazy octopus at times. I love it.
Not much else planned for today. A walk, a bit of a workout in the afternoon (body weight stuff and yoga), want to get an overview of my spendings for this week.
I spent my last two evenings with a Recovery Dharma online group. It was very nice and yesterdayās meditation opened up a lot in me. It was a compassion meditation. I find these very difficult when I direct them towards myself. Either I end up being the worst self-critic or I get sucked into endless self-pity and have trouble separating myself from my emotions and inner stories. For the first time I felt like I could get to a different position yesterday. I was a responsible adult whose job it was to take care of myself. A caring and loving adult but also someone who actually is able and willing to handle this job. It still feels very empowering. I think I will be joining the group on a regular basis.
May todayās surprises bring us all peace, kindness and freedom 
- 9 weeks today. Life is good. Iām joining my team on a charity volunteering day today doing something totally different to my day job which Iām excited about. A few of them are already planning drinks in the sunshine after but Iāve arranged to take my family out for dinner instead. I feel a bit bad about how little āsocialisingā I do at work these days but have tried to replace it with little non-alcohol related things like walking to get lunch with different team members. Now that I donāt drink I donāt want to go to a bar, thereās just no allure.
Have a great day all!