i do hope you have a signal when the nurse calls. Hoping you can get to the bottom of this and start feeling better. Smart to be proactive and test your urine today. Sending you energy and healing vibes.
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Happy Birthday to You! 
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I work for a big mental health institution. The job Iāve applied for is with the same employer but a different branch. Iām in addiction care now, what Iād like to do is in treatment of people diagnosed with personality disorders. Like me. What exactly the job is, is a bit complicated to explain for me. Should I be hired there Iāll try to explain.
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Have you ever heard of anti abuse? I have a script thats lasted for a long long time. I use it as a once in a while back up plan, I will take one if I go somewhere where alcohol is served. Itās not for everyone, but I found in the past it was a nice safeguard while I got comfortable in those environments.
Just thought I would mention it.
Enjoy your night out and all the best.
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Sounds like a glorious day in the sun. Good for you. Congrats on 12 days.
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I made it to Friday! 
1 more week of hard graft and I can chill, do my own thing and enjoy the freedom of sobriety. Sitting in the garden in the sun with a we can of kombucha 
hope youāre all well and set up for a good weekend 
Checking in day 26 
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Checking in, 40 days sober.
Have a great day everyone. 
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Checking in day 137 AF 
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What a shitty day, but they canāt all be good right.
I havenāt relapsed on alcohol or drugs, but I have relapsed on selfharm. I want to write it here because I donāt want anyone that knows me to think I am crazy that does this. I wish I had someone to talk to from within my circle of people I know and trust that have experience with doing stuff like this. But everyone that I know that has experience with this either doesnāt want contact with me anymore because of the drug abuse I did in the past or have died from succesful suicide attempts. I still regret a lot from the past, but I canāt change the past. Just the present. I had such a busy and stressing day with a lot of craving for my DOC. I also got a call of someone if I wanted to drink and go to a bar which annoyed me even more. Good on me I said no to that, but thatād be the only thing I did well today.
54 Days sober Alcohol & Drugs.
Grateful to be a member of this forum so I can still write this off of me. Hope it will give me a sense of relieve soon.
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Thanks for sharing here. Stay strong and maybe read the threads of gratitude. To express in words as you have means you want a positive change to happen. It can.
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I appreciate your kind words and advise, Iāll definitely check out what is suggested to me. For some reason this addiction keeps hunting for me, probably now I also stopped smoking cigarettes it relieves me to hurt myself. I probably sound crazyā¦ But something in me says I made a good decision by harming myself.
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108
Still sober.
Itās colder then the days before, lot of rain, but itās cozy mood somehow.
Was at the outdoor pool againā¦
Now napping in my chillout area lol.
Love you guys 
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Checking in on this beautiful Friday afternoon
1 year 1 month 18 days meth free
1 month 18 days tobacco free
Iām truly blessed to be here and to be able to keep going and fight the urge and temptations!
ONE DAY AT A TIME YALL!!!
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Day 49.
Nothing much has happened. Did some light cleaning and tomorrow itās time to go shopping for suits and other stuff. Gonna leave a dent on my income for sure.
Whatās slightly concerning is the idealization of drugs/alcohol in my mind rn. Kinda wanting to go all out āone last timeā. Which is bs because when did that ever happen?
I know itās fairly normal in early sobriety but I dislike how comforting the thought of lashing out and relapsing seems rn.
Itāll pass with time Iām sure of it.
Have a great Friday everyone. 
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@danwood85 YES ā its Friday and you are enjoying the sun in the garden with a Kombucha ā life is grand. Way to go with 26 days!
@vanessa8 Great work with your 40 days ā keep it going strong 
@leroy doesnāt sound crazy at all ā self harm is an addiction like any other and its another way for the mind to cope with lifeās ups / downs. I am sorry that you did relapse. Do you know what led to the relapse? Are you able to connect with self help hotlines or mental help clinics in your area? Sometimes an outside perspective is what is needed when battling the mind. Great work on your sobriety from alcohol and drugs. Sending you hugs my friend. You deserve love and affection - not pain and distruction 
Do hope that you are able to tend to yourself and heal the wounds
Oh man that addict voice really does have a sneaky way of making you believe you are missing out on something - the need for the one last time ā one last time for what exactly - to put addictive poison into your system and pray that you will be able to recover and try sobriety again? Our stupid brain romanticizes the alcohol and it is so easy to do as its so readily available and literally everywhere you turn. I have to constantly remind myself of my early days and how hard it was to even get to that point. I donāt think i could be that brave and strong again. 49 days and going strong friend ā keep pushing forward
Afternoon check in ā i was able to take my mom to the botanical gardens in town (funny how iāve never been before and they are only 15 min away). We enjoyed our time there but left when it got to hot. Looking forward to checking out a nursery now and picking up some plants / herbs for the deck / front of garage area. the planters are looking so empty 
Be well my friends - will check in later
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That is terrific. Congratulations!
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Thanks for clarification. My bad. I thought it was called anti abuse for some reason.
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Thank you
Thank you for sharing your day 12 of your personal journey with me.
Forgiveness towards yourself is healing.
Nice photo of you too 
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I like this so much! Proud owner of When Things Fall Apart that was a huge help to me when I was sober between 2007-2013. Now here she is again and I think her books/teachings are a badass idea for me right now! Very applicable to both recovery and things I would like to address. I have a hard edge on me at times.
Thank you
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