44 days
I slept pretty good last night. I was really needing it and woke up feeling more rested. I decided to work some on this workbook after doing the morning chores and then have a hike afterwards to get some exercise and clear my head. That went well and I felt good about starting in on it. I was feeling pretty good so went out to the bazaar for shopping. I enjoyed talking to some friends who sell there. I sat with a friend who sells fruit there for about an hour talking and eating cherries. I felt like a normal person again. I was really needing a more normal day. I avoided doing some things hitchhiking like normal, buying from the outside stands where it was less crowded and going when I know there would be less people. But I went out and it ended up being a good day. I was needing that win.
Day 78
Summer is here, and Iām not ready. Too bad! It will be hot till Halloween 
. Someday I wonāt live here and cook alive every year. In the meantime, Iām putting the sweaters away. Meeting for lunch with someone who may help me with the house.
Got some sleep and it feels like I worked through a lot of the bad feelings. Old work colleagues popping up in quick succession was a bit much. And last weekend the old drinking friends 
. Of course I felt icky. And much better without all of them. Itās time to move on for sure.
Fantastic to read 
When these people pop up in my life my stomach drops. Itās my shame around giving them a piece of me that wasnāt me. Humiliation that I hung around with people so long that I didnāt like but wanted to drink my soul away with. Itās tiring to stare your disappointment in the face. Unless they are able to evolve with you, move on. Harsh, but itās working for me. No is always an option. No explanations needed.
Hey all, checking in on day 1434. I hope everybody has a good one!
Thank you TragicF. So true, I donāt really like these people. I couldnāt listen to it without a drink in my hand. When the stories would start, my muscles would start twitching itās that awful. Oh, but before, i could run inside and get another drink to escape the story. Now I canāt and I donāt want to give the floor to that crap.
It wasnāt like the real me to sit and tolerate all that. So it bothered me a lot last weekend! Sober Iām going to shut things down and throw people out. I felt conflicted last weekend, but now I get it. Thank you!
Just checking in, day 311. 
2y3m5d
Well this morning was hectic. Up at 550am and out the door by 630am to catch a different route to work. Trains arent running downtown so had to make adjustments to my usual route. I thankfully got to work on timeā¦ yay!!!
I had a decent sleep last night but yesterday evening wasnt great. Like i mentioned in last nights post, i was emotionally eating during supper when i basically said āF itā. Well that turned into a binge episode and i dont feel good about it. I shouldve played the tape to the end and just worked thru my uncomfortable feelings, but nooooo i had to eat my feelings instead 
Today is a new day tho. I brought the right amount of food to work. Something healthy. And i will make sure to stay on top of my emotions today. I think i need to become more self aware bcuz often times i think intense emotion just comes out of nowhere, when in reality its a build up over time. If i can be more aware of my emotions while they are first showing, then i can do something about it before they get too overwhelming.
Hope everyone enjoys their saturday, addiction free of course! Much love to u all!!
Checking in, 41 days sober. Iāll stay sober today too.
Have a great day!
Day 55. The first 30 went by easy but I feel like lately its been a constant battle to not drink or use. They say isolation leads to relapse but i feel like the only way i can stay clean is to avoid the world. I am sick of the rollercoaster one day i am good the next i am depressed as fuck.
Itās a process man. There are definitely ups and downs. I just keep remembering how good I feel when I awake sober in comparison to hungover. It helps get me through.
What I do know from my own personal experience, is it certainly gets betterā¦. Much better, at least did for me. I absolutely love sobriety and wear that badge with great honour and prideā¦
Best brother.
Day 185. Well had baught some new tires for my bike and right away had issues with the tires, but silly me threw away the old tires, showed the company my tires and they said they were gonna send a replacement but never did, so i had to order a new front tire bc i needed one. And then as soon as i put the front tire on i notice my back tire starts actint funny, so i put in for a refund to this company and they did grant it. Thank goodness, i had already baught a new set of tires and those will be here monday. Yesterday i got to work and when i was leaving i noticed my back tire was flat, but even with the spare tube and tools i couldnt fix it bc it looked like this. A lady came out and said my tire exploded at 10 30, but through all of this i didnt over react i didnāt complain. A co worker was still at work and able to bring me home and i just ubered to work today. Im grateful i have money to get through these moments and not need to panic. Life is really beautiful if you look at it the right way much love
Hey everyone, just checking in on my 2nd day of sobriety. Iāve been here before, many times, so Iām fine. No cravings at all, Iām still very much living in the fear of what my last bender did to me psychologically and physically. I find I usually stay in this hyperaware state for a few weeks before it starts to curb as my health improves. I have a bunch of work coming up after the weekend, so that should keep me busy for a few weeks anyways. Iām a painter by trade, but Iām educated as a social worker, ironically lol. Hopefully when I get better, I will get a weekend job and start my career.
Anyways, I hope you are all well today. Any long weekend plans? My dadās having a BBQ on Monday. My mom recently passed from cancer, so heās trying hard to keep the family together and stable. Heās suffering though, I guess we all are.
Talk soon friends, stay strong and remember that you are perfect the way you are, you are enough without drugs and alcohol.
Day 590. Itās been a long busy week but made it through once again. Have been extremely irritable and on edge the last few days and even lost it on my neighbor about cleaning his leaves from whatās probably the last 3 seasons. Itās bothered me for some time that I clean mine up only to have his blow back in hours later. Big life problems I know 
Typically I just let shit go but catch me on the wrong day and bam Iām in your face! Need to start working more on my anger issues again. Thatās about all I got for today. Enjoy your weekend 
Sorry for the loss of your mom. Prayers to you for a sober calm weekend.
Checking in Day27. Wifeās at workā¦the boys and I are cleaning up and getting ready for their cousins birthday party. In Louisiana, US, alcohol is associated with any kind of gatheringā¦so even tho this is a 2 y/o birthday partyā¦the adults will be drinking. I have faith that today will go smooth and I will not be triggered. Still everyone pray for me and be with meā¦the last time I went to a gathering I slipped. Today will not be the same as the last time. I have too much to look forward to and I have all of you guys counting on me. Thank you TS, you guys help in ways you donāt even realize. #ODAAT
Happy 24! 
Just for today: I will be vigilant, doing everything necessary to guard my recovery
Checking in day 81. First words from my loving husband today were He doesnāt like me and very unhappy and his emotional state is all because of me. He will not elaborate or give me details of what I did or didnāt do now.
I have to fight for the serenity of me just keep doing what is right and sit back and hopefully peace will come for us.
7y5m4d
Had a busy work week and love that I can work from home 2-3 days per week and be with my cats, pick my kids up from school, etc. Yesterday I was going to have someone drop drawings off and came to the sudden realization that my house is not guest ready! You enter my condo by walking thru a little patio and I really need to spruce it up. The plants out there look really shabby and half dead. And the little patio table is missing tiles and needs to be replaced. Also I really need to sweep. So pride made me cancel the drawing drop-off! I really need to figure out how to make everything look better because I am not good at this stuff. My mom is. All of her potted plants look amazing and healthy, lol. Iāve been so busy I havenāt been focusing on my home very much and itās time to do that I guess. I would really like to have people over and feel good about it.
Hope everyone has a wonderful sober weekend!
He probably canāt elaborate on it because itās bs!!! Canāt put that on someone else. Iām truly hoping peace does find you. 