So happy for you, Kenny! Each day it gets easier. Good to see all the smiling faces!
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[quote=āK_S, post:1527, topic:182072ā]
Good for you friend. Really hope you are able to start the healing process 
@danwood85 must be something in the air if the coffee isnāt doing its job today. 
I am grateful for a chill day and was able to take a long nap. Still not feeling great but I got no where to be so will keep resting. Way to go with your 4 weeks Dan! You are doing great work. I am learning that complacency is the root of relapse so I try to keep a stark reminder of what I was like prior to sobriety and hope to never have to repeat day 1 again. Keep stacking up the days 
@twizzlers There it is ā 2 weeks girl! Way to go! Those feelings are manifested from our addiction trying to creep in and make us feel less than. Make us feel like we arenāt normal or that we have something wrong with us because we canāt be casual drinkers. Glad you are seeing through the BS and seeing the lies. You are more than good enough and strong enough! You flex those sober muscles and be proud of yourself. 
@collins Sorry ā AF meaning alcohol free. You are crushing it!
@james83 double 6ās ā nicely done James. Way to go with your bike race ā that must be an amazing feeling. Hope you are able to kick the cold in the butt before it settles in.
I love this! So glad that you enjoyed your family time and protected your sobriety. Lovely family Kenny ā thanks for sharing the pics with us
@jennyh how are you doing Jenny?
Sunday evening check in
What a chillaxed day. I had an intense tired feeling come over me this afternoon and glad that i was able to nap. Woke up to a powerful thunder storm. Totally forgot to shut the windows and the living room is drenched. Now the sun is out and its so damn muggy.
Not much going on - i am gonna relax and enjoy the rest of the day.
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening ā sending you all so much love 
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Jasmine Iām glad you got to rest. It was a nice easy day.
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Thank you all for the support.
I made it!
The ginger ale in the cup worked to not get harassed until the shots started pouring. I had to deny it many times and even had to walk away.
I got asked many times what was wrong. These are all people who have known me my entire life. As much as I tried to play it coolā¦ They knew something was up with me.
This is really tough. I finally had to tell my wife to leave right away, I felt like I was going to just stay āF itā. The dancing started and Iām always the one to get it started. The crowd put the pressure on me and I didnāt have it in me. I thought I would feel proud of myself but I feel really sad.
In theory Iām proud, but I donāt have the feeling.
Thanks again everyone!
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I am so proud of you for making it through the event sober. I know that it was not easy. For me I quit 10 days before NYE and it was super hard but i managed to get through the evening. After which i decided to stay away from social gatherings and evenings out until i had a better footing in my sobriety. This is your journey and you know your body /mind the best. I just know that by constantly putting yourself in triggering situations that eventually you are bound to cave.
It is totally up to you if and when you decide to tell others of your sober journey. I know that i was surprised at all the support i got from my family and friends. I also realized that the ones who did not support me were really not friends and i was better off without them.
Iām sorry that you are feeling sad. I think the feeling comes from your mind saying you canāt do the things you used to and this is false. You will be able to enjoy all the events / gatherings and get that dance floor groove started ā it will be fantastic to enjoy all of this sober and with a clear mind. I hope you are able to pat yourself on the back for making it a week sober. Reflect on how far you have come in this week and be proud of your strength.
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@JazzyS Thanks. It was either this or die, soā¦ Iām glad I chose not to die. Not every day is the greatest but I definitely donāt have any bad days anymore.
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I hear ya! Why canāt I just drink normally like everyone elseā¦. Has gone through my head so many times and every time I try it fails, I fail. I think recognizing that our difficulties stem from alcohol abuse to which for me at least, one drink leads to, and that abstinence improves the quality of our lives can help us really see alcohol for what it really isā¦poison.
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Thank you
Hope it isnāt too wet from the storm 
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Checking in at the end of day 8. I had a few really depressing moments today to which I would normally buy a bottle of wine or 2, but I didnāt. I explored my feelings and chose to sooth myself. It felt good. Not saying a little shopping therapy may have helped too 
bought a couple of flowers on sale to add to my flower garden.
Have a good night everyone.
āUnhappiness equals unmet expectationsā
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1808
Cycling yesterday was nice, even though my shoulder isnāt the greatest atm. Seeing my family doctor for that tomorrow. Today itās work, but working as a Sunday as itās Tweede Pinksterdag or second day of Pentecost as we do that here with Christmas. Easter and Pentecost since 1619. Which suits me as it pays more to work today
Didnāt have a great night, some heavy dreams, woke up lots. I feel it has to do with ripping open my past, especially my teens Iām working on now. Lots of work to do there. Painful stuff. Necessary stuff too. One day at a time. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Sober and clean. Love.
@SKhan Proud of you man. Itās hard in the beginning. I did tell pretty soon that I donāt drink no more because itās no good to me. Mixed reactions. But great for my peace of my mind.
@Collins AF timer = alcohol free timer
@Twizzlers These so called ānormalā people have other problems. Or not. Whatever. Iām grateful for the chance to live a better life. By being sober and working on myself. Weāre so much better of without stupid booze in our lives friend. 
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All the things we do that are fun/not fun arenāt enhanced with alcohol, theyāre dulled. It reduces our senses, we donāt remember the events and we feel worse the next day. If the event is centred entirely around alcohol (e.g. going to a bar for a birthday) itās a hard truth to realise, but itās likely all of those people donāt really want to hang around each other, they just want an excuse to drink alcohol freely.
Also, if you have to drink to do a certain things, like watch the football, or smoke meat, itās likely you actually find that particular thing a bit boring or not very enjoyable.
I thought I used to love mowing and getting the yard nice and neat. Turns out it was just a great opportunity for me to get shit faced without the wife being upset with me as I was being busy and productive. Uhhh yes, it has meant that over the last 60 days I may have not mowed the lawn as often as I should 
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*Day 2070 
Still in Spain. Going to Barcelona today.
Having doubts about going because in general I do not like big cities.
To crowded, to noisy and I guess it makes me anxious too. Why going?
Because my friend wants to and I do it for her. And also because I want to be easier in situations like this. I want to be more relaxed and avoiding the things I find difficult isnāt going to help me anyway.
So Barcelona here I come
Have a good day ore night all
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Congratulations @Twizzlers for 2 whole weeks!
A lot of fine people commented alreadyā¦
Only thing to add is, it gets better and easier.
Itās never easy, taking it easy was a bad way to me several times. But it gets easier and you are building up strength again! Go on Amie 
Day 111
The lady talking about alcohol very involved in her short holiday trip and her life overall, was a learning. I felt triggered for few minutes, but later I reflected about how different I c this now and how crazy it seems to label this lifestyle as relaxing and luxurious.
My day will be relaxing. Meditation now and a morning walk, short stretch, shower, a call about my carrier and at noon we will be at my brotherās family for a little barbecue
Pool is not available now for 10 days or so, cause there is a festival in this city and the other outdoor pools will open just end of the month. Will c.
Love you guys 
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 82
Still nice weather, forecast for the weekend says rain.
Todayās dinner will be pancakes again.
Nothing else to report.
Wishing yāall a wonderful day
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@Mno Iām so happy to hear your relationship with your sister has improved so much. It gives me hope for my brother and I. Thank you for getting me thinking about this Itās always in the back of my mind along with the want to take initiative.
Story time. I lived with him for a year after leaving my daughterās father 8 years ago. Weād always gotten along, but werenāt very close, living our separate lives. Up until I moved in, I had no idea how bad his drinking had become. As bad as I knew I was, it truly shocked me. He attempted quitting cold turkey a week before I moved in and began hallucinating so bad that his 2 best friends called me bc they didnāt know what to do. He was placed in a psych ward for 2 weeks, diagnosed with alcohol induced paranoid schizophrenia. Started drinking again as soon as he came home. Of course I was also drinking, in my usual blackout manner, but in hopes of helping him get better I never drank with him directly. We were 2 very different alcoholics living under one roof and it didnāt end well.
Since then, heās been sober 5 years 
A true miracle. Weāve talked some about the past and the guilt we both felt. I donāt know how, but I can feel heās still holding onto that guilt, even after I assured him there was no reason for it in the first place bc we were both sick. I might be wrong, but either way I wish for a closer relationship. We definitely get along, we just rarely contact each other. I can make that change 
@Lighter I 100% understand exactly what you meant. My last few years of drinking were to āescapeā that negativity I allowed in my life. Even after I was free, I was still stuck for a long time. It was a very slow and grueling crawl out, but I made it. You become so much stronger once you do Here for you
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Day 331. Has been a really nice weekend. Had some alcohol free beer which was nice as well as a lot of water with ice.
Shortnday at work today which is good. Will go for a quick bike ride at some pointā¦ And a dog walkā¦ But not mixing the two up 
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If you havenāt visited before then Park Guell is wonderful. Designed by Gaudi it sits on the hill behind Barcelona and apart from the Sagrada Familia is the best thing to do in Barcelona anyway. Sure there are some crowds but itās not as intense as the city. The Sagrada is timed entry so it doesnāt get too busy
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459
Wonderful day in the sun at work. Left me so energized I kept moving until dark. I had an overwhelming urge to clean my car (which hasnāt been done in, I donāt even want to say 
) so I ran with it. Iām so happy I did bc who knows the next time that wouldāve happened. The weather so greatly affects my mood so Iām so grateful our summer is finally beginning. Canāt wait to enjoy some more of it. Hope you all have a great day 
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I followed a car yesterday with green mould growing on it. Was it you? 
Glad you are finally getting some good weather - I suffer when the weather is bad too, and since I live in London that is unfortunately most of the time. Definitely contributes to the drinking culture here
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Haha! Well unless youāre visiting the states, it wasnāt me
No mold, just alot of grime build up in the door frames and seals. I did find a cigarette butt under my seat (I quit smoking 2.5 years ago) and a cap to a mini liquor bottle Like I said, it needed to be done.
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