Hey, just want to check in. I forget what day I’m on. I think 5. Maybe 6. Anyways, just got home from work. I woke up at 430am and went to the gym. I used to do that every morning. The gym was basically dead, which is a nice change from the 6pm busy gym Ive been dealing with the past while. I will try to make a habit of going in the morning again.
We finished painting the exterior at work. It’s always satisfying finishing a job. New project tomorrow painting this massive mansion. Im fortunate to have gotten the job. Steady income helps my sobriety.
I took a walk the other night and I was thinking the clouds and trees and such looked almost magical. I guess that could be the “pink cloud” effect. New sobriety always gives me a weird reverse buzz if that makes sense. Either way, I am thankful to be here to absorb all of it.
Checking day 85. Made it to my AA MEETING. It has been 5 weeks and so glad to be back. Today’s topic was on Spouses having to handle the alcoholic. So appropriate as I struggle with this conflict daily. Having to regain trust and showing a change in behavior is exhausting and a challenge. Hoping environment will calm since sobriety is a prayer daily. I see every moment why I chose to get drunk to avoid the ugly atmosphere I live in.
This statement resonates with me. I am constantly being told I want to fight. I feel I don’t want to but my immediate reactions are to defend myself from whatever is being thrown at me. I am trying to be mindful. The solution is don’t react at all and bite my tongue, after living one way so very long this exercise does not come easily.
Been plenty ups and downs along the way with life throwing some ahiit at yeh, but I mean when I say this, but I do handle life’s issues so much better now, than I did before… feel stronger to handle most things face on rather than sweeping under the carpet… still a work in progress still working on improving myself, … I hope by saying this that it is a help to someone, somewhere…as in things do get better and you have to just keep building those blocks…
Have a lovely morning/day/night where ever you are
Yes, all my push back isn’t helping me regain my health and peace. I am eager to get some things sorted right away but I need to be healthy and clear-headed. Not there yet. Stopping to pause before defending or even engaging with certain people is good. I’ll have to live much slower than I want to.
Past few days have been stressful for a lot of different reasons. Happy to have some chill time now. Feeling kind of disappointed with the day, but overall doing okay.
Checking in at the end of day 11. I was off in my count yesterday. Yesterday was day 10
@acromouse thank you so much for the encouragement! I attended a mental health seminar back in February and I have to say it was a game changer. I meditate on the notes I took and try and make application. Had to do with journey of self and being congruent with oneself. Our negative core beliefs from childhood, negative chemicals vs positive chemicals in our brain and the power of our thoughts. Finding out our adaptives and maladaptives. It’s a journey to get back to the secret silent self. Pure self. Who we were before we were shaped and molded by parents, circumstances etc. Really good info.
Today was a good day. Wednesdays are usually an excuse day for me to drink, but I didn’t. I didn’t even want to. Every morning I meditate on my reasons for not drinking which include experiences I’ve read, scriptures, quotes, my own personal reasons, prayer, the disastrous consequences if I have one drink. Each day I answer these 2 questions
What will happen if I continue to drink?
What will happen if I stop?
I know I’m not far in my sobriety, but this has what has helped me so far.
Congrats on your 4 years! Impressive work Will – keep it going strong. @bomdhil Great job with both your timers You are doing wonderful Thomas – keep stacking up the days! @charlie_c 73 days is amazing work friend. Are you able to change up your routines? Sometimes a change up can help spark the motivation @wahtisnormal you are doing impressive work Zoe! Hope you are able to find time to relax and unwind. Big hugs love. Sometimes we do just have blah days – hope that you are able to sleep soon and have a better day tomorrow @jeanine Congrats on your double digits! Doing impressive work on your sober journey – Glad to see you staying focused and vigilant
Checking in on Wednesday night
518 days free of alcohol and weed free
933 days free of cigarettes
Was a great day. Got to go slow and was able to accomplish everything i set out for today. I am exhausted and really do hope the moon behaves tonight @Just_Laura — need that sleep
Have a busy start to the day tomorrow so would be lovely if i am well rested. Didn’t realize that i hit my 17 month milestone yesterday - love that the days are just adding up and i am still fully aware of the horrors of day 1 (helps keep me on track). Sweet dreams friends.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love.
Checking in 340 days AF…… wow I’m amazed at myself. Never have I maintained my sobriety this long. I can’t say that there aren’t days I’d like to drink especially as we approach summer. Nothing like a good spicy margarita or a glass of chilled Rose’ and then I remember the broken bones ( right ankle and left foot) the drunken texts, the irrational behavior and waking up and feeling just so shitty. The emotional swings.
Not much has changed in my life except I have my most precious grand babies back in my life. I see my son in a more regular basis. I’ve cut toxic people out of my life and anyone that doesn’t appreciate and value me the way I value them. Subtle changes but changes that allow me to respect me. I’m grateful for this community and the support that you all offer. I couldn’t have done this without it.
Checking in early today. I had a rough night with bad dreams. Had to pull myself out of bed for morning chores and just feel tired. I am having trouble getting the memories to stop replaying. Will do some exercise and meditation once my chores are finished.
You are doing wonderful Thomas – keep stacking up the days!
