Wednesday night check in. Hope everyone is doing well 
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1811
Iām not sure what happened yesterday. I felt exhausted and I guess that made me feel really down. Iām still tired but better than before. Going to do a day of experience work today, and I feel pretty good about that. Still have to do my assignment for writing class tonight, that is to say I have it largely in my head, but it still needs to be put on paper. Typically me. Iāll make it but itāll be a long day. Sober and clean. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober or nothing will come of it. Love.
@Laner Good days and bad days friend. Keep going. Itās not the easiest road youāre on but youāre doing it. Hugs.
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@JazzyS Congrats on 17 months 
I quit paying attention to what the number of days equalled after a year, but this made me wonder and realize I hit 15 months last week 
Counting the days gone by doesnāt matter much now, but
This! Thatās whatās important to me. Never forget. Never go back! Every day, everyone here helps me with that. Canāt thank you all enough 
Get some sleep girl 
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Checking in 
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 85
Itās Supposed to be the last day with nice weather. Tonight the forecast says that we will have some rain. Which is going to continue until next week. I know it needs to rain, but I donāt really like it.
At least itās going to stay warm around +15 degrees outside.
And thereās a chance for some thunder tonight, I love thunder storms so thatās positive.
Kids wanted lasanga for dinner tonight, so lasanga it is.
Talked to my mother on the phone yesterday she has gotten into an argument with her new boss, and is going to a meeting about that today. A Union representative will be attending as well. She wasnāt worried since sheās done nothing wrong, but she thought that she was going to get suspended for a while. They already had a sub for her to cover the weekend so probably sheās right.
Motherās day here on Sunday, I couldnāt help myself but ask if she was at home and if anyone was coming to celebrate. None of my siblings will, not even my sister whoās there freeloading with her family almost every day.
So weāre going to take Ma for dinner on Sunday.
Sheās also a bit sad about all of us not going to the Pirate themed park this summer. So Iām going to check the prices there again to see of I can book us a cheap weekend there anyway.
The boys also want to go.
Thatās all Folks.
Wishing you a happy Thursday 
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Congratulations 
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@Mno Hope you get to a bit of R&R soon.
@Laner Wishing you a better time soon.
@DanaM56 Itās very encouraging to hear about the changes you made in your relationships. I feel like itās time to do some cleaning up in my life too.
@JazzyS Congrats on your milestone friend 
And a big shoutout to the horrors of day 1 
@Jeanine Thank you for sharing about your meditation practice. Sounds like a really good foundation for change.
@Bomdhil Congrats of a whole month of freedom 
Thatās quite an achievement!
@Will3 Thatās quite a testament to long term sobriety. Thanks for sharing with us and congrats on a new life 
@Soberbilly I took a walk with my discomfort yesterday. It kept running circles around me 
@tailee17 I am sorry your living situation is so difficult. I hope you get some sunlight in your day today 
@Michellle Nice to see you checking in 
183 sugar
47 UPF
54 gluten
33 dairy
20 overeating/binge
Yesterday I got my usual afternoon slump. Itās a time for brain fog and really shitty moods. I was cranky, tired, couldnāt think. I wanted to feel better. And as I was proud of my 6 months abstinence of sugar some part of my mind kept suggesting all kinds of food related fixes. It was really like being in a surreal theatre show. One part of me feeling meh, a significant part of me wanting this feeling to go away, some part suggesting food over and over again, another trying to focus on my breath, and so many other voices. I was absolutely sure I did not want to use food to feel better, so in the end I played the tape to its bitter end - courtesy of the day 1 horrors - and went for a walk. Like all such episodes it passed. What a show.
I started attending buddhist based online meetings recently and they are very much helping with my recovery. The shared meditations, readings, and shares. Mindfulness and kindness one day at a time.
I hope to get more time for my design work without getting constantly interrupted like yesterday with phone calls. But weāll see. There is a stoic practice to imagine in the morning all the things that could go wrong going wrong just so not have unreasonable expectations for the day. So I expect it to be a day of endless interruptions with me sneaking a few moments here and there designing stuff 
I have an appointment for a hair cut in the afternoon, some errands to run. Very relaxing Yin Yoga, breathwork and meditation later in the day.
My in-laws want to come over today and plant flowers in the pots on the balconies as an advanced birthday present. This is so nice of them.
Probably a Recovery Dharma meeting in the evening. Since my ex moved out my days and especially my evenings are so nicely quiet and peaceful.
Wishing all of us a day of peace, kindness and freedom 
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Good morning.
Just wanted to share a trick that I used on numerous exams during the years.
Use the Dictaphone function in your phone or computer. Tell it what you want to write, and itāll write it. When youāre done telling the story you can just go in to the document to correct spelling errors and change sentences until it sounds exactly the way you want it.
That way youāre getting something down on paper and it saves you a lot of time.
Good luck at work at with your assignment. 
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Thatās how my daughter āwritesā all of her stories cause she does not want to type out every word
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462
I slept okay. It was a beautiful sunny day and I had a productive morning, but after eating lunch, with the darkness of a storm rolling in, I decided to take a nap. The creepiest nap Iāve ever taken. Iāve mentioned sleep paralysis before and how itās new for me and only happens occasionally when I nap on the 60yo couch I got last year. This time was intense.
So Iām dreaming something normal. A couple coworkers were in it and we were doing normal, weird dream stuff, but all of a sudden I became so tired I had to lie down (in my dream). I couldnāt open my eyes and I could hear them trying to wake me up but I couldnāt move. Then I realized I was on my couch and couldnāt move. This was the heaviest, and longest Iāve ever been stuck there. My eyelids were weighted down but I was finally able to open them just enough to make out my legs, and what I saw shocked me. Above my actual body appeared to be a ghost like version of my body floating above me. During this time all I could hear was a low, raspy whispering voice chanting my name over and over. When I could finally move I jumped up and looked all around my house. I can count on 1 hand the number of dreams that left me this terrified.
Did I astral project?! I have one very distinct memory of early childhood (age 3/4) where I was floating in the corner of my room watching myself sleep. I started looking into it but had to stop bc it started freaking me out. I really hope I can put it out of my mind when trying to fall asleep Goodnight all
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Day 334. Wow its 11 months tomoro since I made a decision to stop
And itās been a good 11 months. I can work clearly in my mind. My relationship is better and my self belief is better
Today I have a busy day at work and then four days off 
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Sheās smart
Itās also very useful if youāre going to write in another language and is unsure about how to spell things.
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Hello!
Just now realised how much I missed this community - to everyday check here, find interesting people and discussions and if I feel down, as well find a help. Iām glad I can be here and this community exists. 
After yesterdayās fight with my currently active alcoholic partner I feel a bit down and sad, but thatās unfortunately already usual in this house. I will go outside and possibly paint something though to feel better. Aaaand maybe play The Sims 4, who knows. I have whole day. 
As well this Saturday is one event, which doesnāt have anything addictive, but Iām still kinda scared to go there, because itās pretty famous event for queer folks and Iām scared I could find there few people, who a lot hurted me and one person who gave me traumaā¦ I still think about it, my feelings are very unsure about if I should go or no.
How are you all? I hope youāre all alright, if no, youāre not alone.
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He Nastya good too see you back. I think you know what you should do, is it not your mind you should be able to withstand such situation? While your sense says you shouldnāt and thatās totally fine. About the alcoholic partner: just leave and donāt look back it might hurt but choose you, you canāt save him/her. Sounds harsh, but just this week I left a starting (if I would have been with her for years it might have been a different story) relationship for the same reasons. I was looking into a mirror and experiences how insane the addictive cycle is, you are better of without such energy around you
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@nastya_is_fighting Hello hello Nastya Long time no see
@Just_Laura thatās some scary spiritual shit you had there! I would freak out too. Never experience astral projection but although it sounds scary I would like to experience it as well. Or maybe not. Not sure
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Thank you Rob.
My partner told me she will go to either psychiatric clinic or rehab tommorow, soā¦ I kind of still as deeply in love with her hope it will helpā¦ I told her yesterday that if she wants to stay with me, she needs to go to rehab or psych ward or I will just leave no matter what. She was so angry man. I think she realised that itās not just me threating to her, but that I meant it seriously and as information, not an actual threat.
So we will see how it will all go. Only what I can say that if it really will help her and she starts to work with that, I will be only glad to help her. But if it will be just another āwelp I tried, but it doesnāt workā, then bye bye to her. Because I KNOW it works, helps and even SAVES the lives. It just depends on a person if they REALLY want to get out from it.
Sorry for a bit long paragraph, this topic is just pretty emotional and sensetive towards me, especially when it comes to my loved one. But youāre right. Itās better to be without such energy.
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Welcome back Col, I think you can always find the time to come here despite whatās going on in your life 
Make recovery your number 1 priority and this could be your last day 1 ever.
How does that sound?
You can do it, but you have to make time to make it work.
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Day 2073 
Back home after a long busdrive. Had a good vacation, but being with someone almost 24/7 is a lot. We know eachother for 30 years so we know eachothers flaws and have found our way dealing with it.
But itās time to be home and enter my own life again.
A holiday is always my moment to reflect on life, my life. So I decided to subscribe myself for crossfit class. Tried to run again a few months ago, but my knee wonāt allow me to. So itās time to try something different. Also made a new daycounter for quitting sugar 
The picture above is made in the palace of Guelle in Barcelona. It was such a beautiful room. The colours, the light, the architecture, everything!
Today? Emptying my backpack, doing laundry and going for a walk. Nothing big today.
Have a good day ore night all
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173 days
Am on leave from work at the moment, had a chilled day.
Caught up on laundry. So much laundry.
Grocery shopping.
And gym for the kids
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Check in Day 3,
Feeling improved, Iām grateful for living today, Iām grateful for my job.
The day was good. Iām in office and my boss is happy :), I never thought my job will remains but because of God still there. I know if i again go the relapse, something will happen in everywhere.
The last relapse was really hard to me.
God bless all
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