Today started of very difficult. More to do with mentally struggling with just life in general. Triggers stated some mental health episodes which I hope don’t last long.
I tried to just take it easy, but then the alcohol cravings or not even cravings just thoughts of ‘Well a drink will stop this dissociation and anxiety etc’
So I just picked up some wood went outside and started sanding and sawing it for the frame and ramp for the tunnel so the cats can get in and out by themselves so I’m in progress of doing that then connect it to the big catio.
Still feel weird but I have done something positive which has left a bit of a lighter touch/energy on how I was feeling.
The little things make the big things happen and I want to always go straight to the end with the big things.
Maybe tonight some meditation is needed and spend tonight just chilled have some dinner and just get my zen on.
Glad I pushed through all the feelings of a drink and all the mental BS.
My dad always says ;
“We only really start to see real progress and change when we start doing the things we don’t want to do”
His right (for me anyway).
Anyway will check back in again later. Got a bit more of the day to go before I get to put pyjamas on and just have me time.
I noticed if I keep busy during the day then evening is easy. If I watch TV in the day then by the time the evening comes I’m bored and boredom=cravings.
It’s so amazing how that works. We’re allowed to do the small things. I really related to that. Just chip away at tasks leaving enjoyable time as well. Busy but not frantic. See ya later, thanks!
Day 3 (almost)
A bit of a win for me especially on a Friday chosing not to go to the pub and to come home and have a relaxing bath and a read on here.
I will be pottering about in the greenhouse soon getting tomatoes tied up. For the last 3 months pottering in the garden has involved drink every single day!
Today it will be done with a cup of tea and a smile on my face because today i am very pleased with myself. Very very pleased.
Well done @Twizzlers for your efforts today and thats a very true saying your dad has.
Well done everyone today.
Thank you
It’s good you are going to keep doing what you enjoy with a cup of tea instead
Proud you chose to have a relaxing bath instead
I didn’t plant vegetables this year, well… Not like I usually do. I just sprinkled some seeds and then some flower seeds in other parts of garden and just going to see what happens
61 days cocaine free
Guy’s Waking up in victory because you got through another day sober is a great feeling and its an even greater feeling knowing that you got this day in the bag! Miracles and blessings to all have a wonderful, spectacular day One day at a time, WE GOT THIS Y’ALL
Day 828 here and I have a consultation with a therapist. It is my first foray into therapy in about 5 years. I should be sleeping after my 12 hour work shift yesterday but instead I have decided to play out all possible therapy scenarios before I actually attend. I sometimes think that my brain wants me unwell.
I might as well get out of bed 2 hours early since sleep is not happening. Still sober, working on recovery.
Checking in day 87. I just got off phone with spouse and am smiling. I want to share. He says he’s in work truck driving with cell phone in hand 1 hand on steering wheel and our 100+ pound Doberman in his lap. I think she heard my voice on phone. Fellow drivers he says are looking at him.
Checking in after a hard morning and need an afternoon reset.
Started the day with the overnight person not making coffee. 3 pots are to be made by 6:30 am. He said he did it… I’m like “No you f’ing didn’t, don’t lie to me”. The pots have sensors that tell me the time, he didn’t know and his face dropped.
Next thing I know… The creamer and milk machine is locked because he didn’t clean it. So my first hour and a bit was just a scramble…
Then the boss comes in and tells me I’m training. That’s cool, I love training.
This upset me… The girl I trained is a Doctor in India. She is doing her Canadian equivalent. She will eventually get a placement through the school once she’s finished.
Jobs are scarce here, and she had to take what’s available… I can only imagine being a doctor and then now you’re washing dishes. I feel for her so much.
Anyways… The day got awesome. I’m a barber by trade. 2 clients texted for haircuts and showed up on time. Cutting hair is my happy place, I’m in a super good mood.
Just because the day started shitty doesn’t mean it has to stay or end that way!
2y3m11d
Today has been an average day. My son is still sick but seems to be on the mend. I had to cancel his upcoming MRI on Tue bcuz they require him to be well for 2 weeks prior to going under anesthetic for the procedure. Im dissappointed about him missing it bcuz its the only way we can keep tabs on his brainstem tumor every 6 months. It was rescheduled tho for next month so thankfully not a huge wait.
I did some tidying up this morning and then my son has an appt here at home in 1 hour for a tracheostomy change. Not much else happening today.
Have to work tmrw but then have Sunday off as we will be going to an event where we can look at various muscle cars and get toys and prizes etc. Its thru a cancer care program and so we are super excited. Hopefully he is well enough for it. Should be fun!
I am sober and certified key user for the sales and distribution module (another time, with distinction) Made myself a gift with a new matrace topper, as my matrace is soo hard (thought I would never say this, I like it hard, but this Emma one is soo hard). Had fun cause the lady in the store insisted that I lie down for a test and checked my back and position with the topper. It was 130 € instead of 299 € as the packaging was open! Laying on a cloud now.
Will c how it goes tomorrow!
You sweethearts… @Mno@JazzyS@diamonster@acromouse@CATMANCAM thank you so much for your opinion!
The idea of an open discussion is real cool Aga… Made this tonight. Juli1 and Juli2 suggested Juli, to wait and protect (still) early sobriety! That’s the tendency you all had
If rebel Juli1 will still be loud and say “I can go wherever I want” we will discuss again! The first appointment is next Wednesday. The other one on Friday I agreed today, is so late, that the “pool guy pool” will be closed afterwards! Lol!.. Universe Gladly my basis indoor pool location is open till 10pm there, so I will take a round there. Deleted his number finally!
Hey Jasmine, thanks for thinking of me. It’s a combination of two things, firstly this thread is moving so fast right now I’m unable to keep up, and secondly I’ve been keeping myself busy which had been great. It’s not long until I reach a solid year alcohol free and I’m pleased to say that the depression seems to be less frequent and also far less intense. I’m going to yoga class five times a week(I did two classes on Sunday) and I’ve been going to my woodworking class each Friday and gardening on Wednesdays. I took myself to the cinema a couple of times recently too which was great. Things are definitely looking up just now.
Can totally relate to that. I feel like the telly does something to my brain chemistry. It’s ok in the evening after a full day but day time tv is a bad idea for me.
and thats a very true saying your dad has.
Waking up in victory because you got through another day sober is a great feeling 
and its an even greater feeling knowing that you got this day in the bag! Miracles and blessings to all have a wonderful, spectacular day One day at a time, WE GOT THIS Y’ALL 
Made myself a gift with a new matrace topper, as my matrace is soo hard (thought I would never say this, I like it hard, but this Emma one is soo hard). Had fun cause the lady in the store insisted that I lie down for a test and checked my back and position with the topper. It was 130 € instead of 299 € as the packaging was open! Laying on a cloud now.
Gladly my basis indoor pool location is open till 10pm there, so I will take a round there. Deleted his number finally!
