Happy 19th sweet Luna girl! Thanks for taking such good care of your Daddy, and yourself! You are loved across the world! You look absolutely adorable and precious in your birthday portrait! You are loved!
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Day 337. Woke up early. Iām off to visit family in Liverpool next weekend. I am looking forward to it but not the drive!
Rewatched beetle juice last night. Wonderful film
Felt out of sorts again yesterday.
Kid related. I hear so much about my wifeās family and their daily groans. I miss hearing that from my kids. Itās odd what u miss. Anyways have a good day folks.
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@Mno Awe 
Happy Birthday Luna! Such a sweet old girl 
Their unconditional love is like no other. Mine too, stuck by my side thru the worst of it. So blessed to have our little friends 
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Rainy, thunderstormy day. The atmosphere at work was much better than yesterday. Idk how, but my phoneās charging port got wet in my pocket at work. I donāt have a wireless charger, so Iām hoping it dries overnight or Iām texting my coworker, who I think has one, first thing in the morning to bring it Putting myself, and my phone, to bed soon. Have a good one
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176 days
Up early go get some coffee and plenty of water in before the gym. Great start to a Sunday.
Then the kids had swimming and we were out for lunch after. Its starting to get a bit cold abd rainy here for winter, didnāt stop the kids from joining me while I walked the dogs this evening.
@Laner is that pic of you working the wool? If so that is so cool. That looks so far removed from where I live 
. Totally shows what a global community this is
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I got up to take the picture but these are my neighbor friends. We are working more on it today hoping to make good progress! Iāll have to post a picture when my rug is finished.
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Congratulations for your roomy Menno @Mno 
*Day 2075 
Well there we go again: Iām nervous 
Hate that feeling in my stomache.
Why Iām nervous? Well when I was in Spain Iāve got the āgreatā idea that I needed more strenght and muscles so I decided to subscribe for a trial class crossfit exercize.
So today is the day and as usual Iām doubting about everything.
*Can I find the way how to get there by bike?
*What to wear?
*Can I do those exercizes?
*Shall I understand what I have to do
*What will the people think of me?
*etc
Iām good in making things bigger up front in my head. Weāll Iām not the only one, I know.
And the good thing of this all is: Iām going to do it beside whatever downtalking in my head.
At 9.30 I will get on my bike and go! 
2024 is my year of getting out of my comfortzone as I said here earlier. Not easy, but it gives me something in return as well.
I discover new things and sometimes they stay. My life is becoming more colourful by it and I learn how to push trough my fears.
I never will be without that nervous feeling in my stomach when I enter a new environment for me. But Iām easier with telling that feeling to āfroā and doing it anyway 
Picture above is from an apartment complex I walked by in the centre of Calella, Spain. Itās covered with plants and cactea that are in pots on the balcony. They tied them up with ropes tightly because they are grown so big.
Loved to see that place
Have a good day ore night all
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@Zse sending healing vibes for your little queen Elizabeth 
š©µ
@Laner awesome work on turning that craving around 
congrats on 50+ days 
@wahtisnormal thank you 
sorry there is chaos around you sending peace and calm 
š©µ
@Proudlyunknown85 congrats on 2+ months
@TrustyBird I hope your consultation went well 
@Juli1 congrats on your distinction 
glad you got a discount and that itās comfortable 
proud of you for deleting the number š©µ
@Deelzebub Iām glad to read that things are going better for you š©µ
@HolySquid belated congrats on all the 4s
@nastya_is_fighting Iām glad your partner went to the psych ward š©µ
@Lisa-B that does sound overwhelming Hoping your balance will come sending calming vibes in the meantime
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@JazzyS thank you I feel it did go well, just a shame I have to bail on my CSA therapy that Iāve waited 4 years for 
really hoping they will let me sit in the wings and start again once my treatment under AEDS has ended, I can only hope I also hope you feel better soon š©µ
@Seizetheday yay for sober camping 
@J4yd4wg welcome congrats on 20 days
@Butterflymoonwoman sending you calming and peaceful vibes š©µ
@CHASE.E.U tooth pain is no joke 
I hope the antibiotics help to get you through til Tuesday I also second what JazzyS recommended, Orajel is really good.
@Jeanine congrats on 2 weeks
@PsychoDramaQueen congrats on your month+
@Mno Happy Birthday to Luna 
it makes me emotional when I think of everything my cats have stuck by my side through, they are my reason for staying alive, every single day 
@Just_Laura I hope your phone will be okay
@SoberWalker good luck! 
I hope you love it
1384 days no alcohol.
849 days no cocaine.
364 days no vape.
1 day no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterdayās numbersā¦
Friday I had my review meeting and my diagnosis was changed to Bulimia because of the laxatives. The psychiatrist said my trauma history is way too complex, and that CBT wouldnāt benefit me, because my problem isnāt really food related, my issue is bingeingā¦anything. He felt that the best treatment would be more Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, with the same Psychiatrist as I had it with last time, so that we could just carry on where we left off 18 months ago. The psychiatrist has already agreed if I was willing.
This means I have to discontinue the therapy Iāve been having regarding CSA on Mondays, which is unfortunate, since I waited 4 years for it. I have sent an email asking if I could be put in the wings and postpone it rather than drop it completely.
Then I am having a video call with the psychiatrist I saw on Friday, in 2 weeks, to confirm everything. He said one week, but that wouldnāt allow for a farewell sesion with the therapist Iāve been seeing as itās a bank holiday here on Monday.
A good outcome I feel.
Yesterday I had groceries delivered. I am really hoping I can resist bingeing all the fruit in one go, as it is meant to be my snacks for a week. Yesterday, and since 11pm til now (7:30am), I have managed to resist and stick to my meals and fruit snacks.
I was unwell yesterday morning due to bingeing Friday night, but Iām finally feeling better now. I fell asleep at 6pm last night, woke up at 11pm, and couldnāt get back to sleep. Iām glad Iāve caught-up here now though.
I hope youāre all having wonderful sober weekends.
š©µ
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@SoberWalker Shoutout to crazy minds and endless overthinking 
By the way: I love CrossFit. Enjoy the excitement of your first class. I cross my fingers 
itās a good box and you find nice people for a great journey, and fabulous and caring instructors. This can be a very empowering experience 
The photo is as always gorgeous.
@MrFantastik Talking about global communities. How does winter look in your part of the world?
@Timetochange I get missing odd things. When I hear my ex complaining on the phone, it somehow feels comforting - like old times. At least for the first moment, after that I am glad I donāt have to listen to that every day.
@Mno Happy Birthday to Luna and have a nice cat party
@PsychoDramaQueen Congrats on a whole month! That is a whole lot of work. 
Your relationship to your boyfriend will change for sure, but your whole relationship to life is changing. Thatās what sobriety is about. Wishing you the best.
@Jeanine Already two weeks!? Congrats And nice work on navigating the drinks selection at a party.
@JazzyS Ouch friend. I hope you get well soooooon! Take it out on your favourite TV series. Now is the time to binge watch silly stuff. Sending you healing vibes 
@PositiveThoughts Looks like youāre tackling all this work with a good attitude and quite the energy
@CHASE.E.U Auaaa. Tooth pain is sooo bad. 
Iām glad you are able to tell your addict voice to fuck off. They can get very loud at times like these. Sending you healing strength and hoping this passes soon And congrats on two months of sobriety. You are rocking it!
@wahtisnormal Iām sorry you have to deal with such an environment on a daily basis. This is a tough situation you are in. The more impressive it is how well you have been handling it. Many people have some kind of āfirst aid kitā for difficult times. This might be a box with stuff in there or just a piece of paper with a list. They put all kinds of items in this first aid kit that they experienced as helpful in tough times. All kinds of activities that will sooth them. This way when another situation hits they have several suggestions available and donāt have to think what to do.
186 sugar
50 UPF
57 gluten
36 dairy
0 overeating/binge
Hormones have been taking a dive the last few days. Iāve always been prone to PMS - mood swings, mental difficulties, indigestion, pain, tiredness, you name it. Now in perimenopause itās a total shit show.
Yesterday was really bad. Wave after wave of awful states - anxiety, dread, depression, anger. I am really glad I managed not to go for any of my trigger foods or this would have ended in an endless binge. So I āonlyā overate and āonlyā on real food. Felt very bloated, my stomach still feels the discomfort. I donāt feel guilty, I just hope next time I can resist this wave. And I know this phase will pass and I will feel better in a few days.
I upped my hormone dosage and already talked with my doc about antidepressants or some kind of mood stabilisers.
Today at least the weather is better, so I hope for a bit of a better day, but my hormones are not done yet. Iām going to do my weekly review, spend some time with a comforting book, maybe take a walk through the gardens, maybe join a meeting. Mindfulness and kindness are still the way to go.
Letās do this together: in peace, kindness and freedom 
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Itās wonderful to hear your doing so well @Deelzebub. Iām so glad for you that the depression is now less intense. You fight so hard for it. Youāre an inspiration and congratulations on your soon to to come one year of sobriety. Be proud of yourself and keep on going 
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Iām here, Iām alive, Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 88
Going to Maās house today. She has called me many times this week. Last call was around 4 hours and I can hear how sheās getting more and more drunk during those calls.
Today itās motherās day In Sweden. Didnāt want Ma to be alone for mothers day so we planned to take her out for dinner.
She didnāt want ti go out for dinner, so weāre going to her house for dinner instead.
My brother and one of my sisterās with families (theyāve got young kids in very close age) was there yesterday. So hopefully weāll have a nice and calm dinner without any toddlers
Nate wrote to me yesterday and Thanked for the lunch company. Not sure I want to stay in contact with him this time.
But as long as itās not going to the extremes I guess I can be nice and polite. At least it wonāt hurt anyone.
Thatās all Folks, wishing yāall a wonderful Sunday 
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I went back a day yesterday so today is +2 to 35ā¦ itās mad to think Iāve made it this far, although I kind of feel like an imposter cause Iām still vaping. Struggling to get over that one which I really need to as they make me feel like shit (as he takes a drag of his vape) 
My diet could be better tooā¦ but 35 days with no drugs or alcohol is huge for me so I aināt dismissing it.
The one thing thatās different about all my failed attempts in the past is this community So much appreciation for you all. Thank you
@JazzyS Thanks as always, sober Saturday was good with Noah. We enjoyed the water park and our day together ā¦ The weatherman is lying to get you moving 
it should be a thing ā¦Sorry you aināt been feeling great with your bug and headache. I hope youāre feeling better today and have a good Sunday
Hey @wahtisnormal sorry to hear about the chaos in your house. Waking up with a hangover wouldnāt be worth it, Iām glad you got through it! Good job on your 42 daysš
Iām away for a sober Sunday shift 
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78 days sober & smoke free
All good 
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Day 498.
Greetings and salutations from my little island paradise. Right now, Iām enjoying coffee on the balcony before curling up into a ball in bed and feeling sorry for myself. Thatās right, the monthly female torture session has began. Yesterday I was ragey, depressed, and cried all day, today Iām in pain. So. Much. Pain. Itās frustrating how I seem to always forget how bad the pain actually gets and keep procrastinating my much needed doctor visit. Kinda like how I used to forget how bad hangovers were when Iād buy wine in the evenings. Every month, Iām bedbound for at least 2 days, thatās not normal.
Anyway, enough about my insides being ripped to shreds. In other news, last week I lived the dream of waking up a 6.30 and starting my workout by the seafront at 7.30 am. Iād been dreaming of it for years and now I actually started making it happen. Plus, as the weather gets hotter, the only way to keep to my exercise schedule over the summer is to start early before the heat gets too unbearable. And no, evening workouts are not really an option for me. They do tend to over energize me and fuck with my sleep schedule.
This is a photo of my little workout area, no gym can beat this. Itās weirdā¦ Iām actually turning into the person I always wanted to be. Itās a slow process, but itās only happening thanks to sobriety.
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So awesome Amy, I do this sober camping. Some calisthenics and yoga really really early in the sun on grass. You are grounding in nature at the same time, double good fantastic to be who you really are. After all, we reinvent ourselves daily, so you really can be intrinsically who you want to be (within reason). Go for it.
Hope your pains go away soon Hun, I feel ya. 
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Its starting to get cold. But probably nothing compared to what you get over there. Windy and rainy. I donāt mind it, Iām used to being outdoors in all kinds of weather here.
One good thing is I just finished watching my league team win. Up the Wahs!
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Im here, Im sober, Im happy!!!
Day 5
Im grateful for the happiness im getting, Sunday is good attending AA meeting.
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Day 104
Sunday night check-in. Had a great sober weekend, great gym session yesterday, time spent in nature with my partner and some relaxing meditation.
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Day 142 AF
Great birthday dinner with wife and son last night after a couple property mows.
Meeting a friend for breakfast this morning, then picking up bicycles from another buddy that serviced them.
Decided against motorcycle (though appreciate the thoughts from all). Want to keep focus on work, lawn maintenance business and my weight loss journey this year. I think if I can get all that set in and get where I want to be perhaps next summer as a celebration. I still have somewhere in the 37-57lbs I want to lose and tone and shape some muscle which Iāll focus on intently this winter.
Iām disappointed but comfortable with choice. I just want to ensure I keep focus on what I want to achieve without adding to many distractions.
Sober living has shown me that I can make all these things happen and with patience it will come.
Iām in a very happy place right now and wish to just keep putting in the hours of work and focus on my health.
Enjoy your day TS peeps
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Good morning.
My morning started with that Instagram made announcement about Meta AI, so it means each post will be used for AI so it can be more āprogressiveā I guess. Which of course I didnāt like at all because I have art accaunt so it means my own art WITHOUT my permission will be used for AIā¦ LUCKILY Instagram has option to ask to NOT use your content for AI, which I did and I received agree from Instagram. So HOPEFULLY my artworks wonāt be used for AI. T_T
Otherwise then that Iām fine. Will check that friend which I mentioned yesterday! Canāt wait honestly.
@Mno happy birthday Luna! 
And how are you all? Hopefully youāre all okay. If not, youāre not alone! Have nice Sunday guys!
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