254 days
Just finishing up a nightshift. Was a pretty quiet shift.
The steps to become a trainer at work is rapidly progressing. Just been informed they can fit me onto a course for revalidation of current trainers to observe and get experience. Will be battling that imposter syndrome with all these guys being very experienced in the role.
Have a week to prepare and hopefully sharpen up a bit.
@Seb good work on 6months mate
That situation is just āpoopyā. I feel your frustration. Sending you positive vibes!
195
I just need to ad that I am still sober.
Had a hard time with food topic again.
Wise friend painted image of a tree, that grows in selfhate or self-love, depending on what we feed it. Still finding my way out. Now. I am OK. But a big fat cloud is following me. Now. I am OK.
Iām good. Monday night, bed early and set up for the week.
I sometimes make promises to myself like we all have and have often broken themā¦ Like we all have. But I have this silver bullet type promise that I really only bring out on rare occasions and itās called a pact. Iām not really sure where it came from but itās like a super duper promise that I just canāt break. I made one yesterday that I will not slip until July next year.
Now before you roll in, I know what youāre going to say, I know total abstinence is our end goal here and my 12 month āpactā deal may not be in the ethos of this group but you are not me and Iām not you. I hope 12 months will be the first year of sobriety for me and I will reevaluate my situation as I become stronger but this is where I am at.
Iāve thought about not sharing this here for fear of triggering someone or appearing not to be true to sobriety, but again. You are not me & I am not you.
I have set some major milestones in place that should take me to places Iāve not been before. Iām going to see things and experience things on another level.
Goodnight 
After reading your post several comments came to mindā¦ In AA āto be a member one only needs to have the desire to stop drinkingā. My understanding of Talking Sober (others please correct me if I am wrong) is a platform for those wanting a support group to achieve a life from addiction whatever addiction that might be. Your plan or process to achieve your goal is Yours and Yours alone. I see no judgements here in my 1+ years as a TS participant. If you are sober today and that is what you want, Congratulations. I am glad you are here and hope you find contentment and happiness. Personally I have found so much more reading and posting here than just the achievement of sobriety. Have a great day.
@JazzyS thank you dear friend! I love finishing books 
! Congratulations!!
Day 20. I feel weak. Always when I am close to a great milestone like 30 I tremble
Day 415. Second check in. Starting the registration process for my course and planning the dates.i hope Iāve made the right decision to focus on that rather than promotion. I use to feel confident in my decision making but over the past few years, less so.
Off to London. Alcohol free
956 days af
Day 672.75
Another day done. I woke up feeling a little better. Not 100% but able to walk easier.
I am however getting a cold from one of the kids. 
I have been trying to straighten things up at home. So theyāre in better condition since I have extra days off of work. But I can only do so much and I am frustrated with myself with some of the things I canāt doā¦
Oh well things will get better. I am sober. I am self harm free. I have been trying to eat so I can take ibuprofen without upsetting my stomach
Good for you, Dana! How was your first AA meeting?
@Jesile sounds like a very productive day loveā¦
Hope you were able to rest and relax.
@Juli1 oh I love the metaphor of a tree ā¦keep nourishing yourself my friend. 195 days!!
@Dustysprungfield 1 year promise is great. You will be sober for today, you will be sober for tomorrowā¦we just take it ODAAT. Glad you are here with us fighting for your sobriety for today 
@Bomdhil thanks friend and yeah to 20 days!!! You just focus on today. I see you getting 30 days and beyond!
@scorpn glad your back is feeling better. You have a lot going on and always juggling so much. Please be kinder to yourself. I know itās a normal response to feel frustrated with ourselves when we arenāt doing the things on our list but remember that the list never ends and you are doing the absolute best you can. Please be kind to yourself 
Checking in, just about off to bed. Had some physical anxiety today but maybe too much coffee and a lot on the mind. Issues with my dad and that family, swirling in my head.
I cannot help but feeling, am I in the wrong? Do I behave ungrateful? Money is a horrid thing, and I have had to navigate my life with him as its something he/they have and value grately. I revolted against it whdn I was young, and have grown into my own principles but also came to understand how my dad shows love is through material things. I dont believe I have been ungrateful for what he has given me or how it has made mg life easier in some ways, but material things doesnt buy the right to behaving in any way you choose. Part of me has grappled for years with wantinf to cut ties to any material gifts from him as it feels like a trap I cannot get free of - being painted as ungrateful and entitled, is how I now understand I have been characterized by my family. The swirl in my head is exhausting.
Going to keep praying on this because frankly i am at a loss.
Xo.
@MooseTracks Happy birthday! 
Hope you had a nice day 
544
Oddly, I rarely drank on my actual birthday. It was one of the many rules I made for myself(and eventually broke). My reasons were to remember everything and not ruin it in any way. Those birthdays always turned out great! That shouldāve told me something 
This morning I woke up naturally after 8 hours of sleep and felt pretty good. Not as exhausted as yesterday but still sore. I stretch my calves more than anything bc of how much I walk, but damn are they tight! Trying to foam roll them is insanely painful 
We didnāt end up getting outside today, other than errands, bc it rained for most of it. Still a beautiful day, just wet. This is why I donāt look ahead on the weather, itās never right. Either my plans donāt happen bc of rain, or I donāt plan at all bc of ārainā and it ends up sunny!(somehow worse) Come to western NY and be a meteorologist! A job where youāre almost always wrong and still get paid 
Anyway, a pleasant day off nonetheless 
Have a great 24 everyone!
Evening check in
Day 911
Was an alright day. Had some moments of feeling overstimulated, but managed to bring myself back using prayer and deep breathing. This is progress for me bcuz in the past I would let that feeling grow until i was extremely irritable and not plesant to be around. I didnt want to end up like that today so decided to reach out to my HP for guidance and patience. It helped! I was able to compose myself and put my best foot forward for the rest of the evening AND most importantly, not take out my frustrations on others. Hope everyone has a good evening 
1893
So off I go again, on my road of discovery for another day. Together with you all. I could never do this alone. Forever grateful and forever in my heart. All of you. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Make it sober and clean or nothing will come of it. Love.
@Anjee it felt good. I attended another meeting on Sunday and met a group of very welcoming women. I plan on attending one meeting tomorrow with a couple of them.
This topic was automatically closed after reaching the maximum limit of 2500 replies. Continue discussion at Checking in daily to maintain focus #67 (Part 40).
. I hope you can escape from that cloud 
