Checking in sober. I had surgery last week - it was tough but bearable, now feeling quite well, I have just a little pain and am really relieved, I feel better about myself than ever before. I relax a lot, it’s actually starting to be too much, so today I worked a bit and went outside for the first time. I have been having headache since the operation, so hopefully going out will help.
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- Start of my new intentions. I shall do a 5k run today. I shall set up the healthy meals for the week. I shall embrace this week.
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Good morning friends!
Day 9 AF
I had a decent weekend and was mostly able to relax. I have major trouble keeping up with household chores but got a bit done. At least I now know a lot of my struggles come from the ADHD and not some personal failing. I’m trying to treat myself with more grace and understanding. All my life I’ve beaten myself up for being lazy or a failure for struggling with things other people seem to have way less trouble with. Learning to accept that my brain is wired differently. But I still cycle into the depression of “why me. Why does everything had to be so hard for me?”
But as with anything, it’s OFDAAT.
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Great to see you friend. Glad you finally got your surgery and are feeling better 
Hopefully the headaches will go away soon. 
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Thanks for sharing, a big virtual hug 
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Thank you luckily I don’t live there so removing myself From the situation solves it in a little way.
Hugs to you too 
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Just checking in. Yesterday was .y first Father’s Day without my dad. He died last October from heart disease and alcohol played a large part in his condition. I want to be around for my boys
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What a shit show for you. That’s completely unacceptable. And all there were complicit and clearly under her control. I really urge you to not see this as anything you did wrong. Maybe you don’t need her in your life, she reminds me a lot of my own mother…
Here if you wanna chat and I’m so sorry that happened to you. Shameful on her. It’s abusive, end of.
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I’m really sorry that happened to you, it is truly awful. I’m relieved to know you’re safe now. Getting away quickly was a good idea. It sucks that you’re not safe there. Hugs and thinking of you
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so sorry Twizzlers… totally not acceptable behavior on her part and I’m grateful that you are seeing how not ok it is. Glad you were able to leave when you did.
Love that you have created a safe haven for yourself where you are able to breathe and heal.
My much love 
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Oh man thats brutal. Sounds like some important realisations were made and that will lead to some important healing for you. Your son is lucky to have an inspiring mum who is willing to stand up for herself in a respectful and calm way. Love your outlook and appreciation of all the good around you. Sounds like you are breaking some generational cycles here. Sending love!
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Thanks Catman! Incredible having 28 days with no takeaway! I really need to do the same. I think I’m almost ready, the more I read on here the stronger I’m feeling about it. Thanks for being so inspiring
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Checking in day 91. I think I was too eager and skipped day 89 a couple of days ago - whoops!
This evening we signed some documents and paid the $3k deposit to go to contract on our build. They will do site tests and surveys and in 6 weeks present us with a final quote. After that, it will be another 6-12weeks before we knock down our old house and they start building! By then, our little girl will be born.
Exciting times ahead that I am sure I wouldn’t be able to do if I was still drinking. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do this all.
Have a great week everyone!
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Day 108
I’m so glad I got sober. I have a chance now. Drinking kept me down and stuck. I am learning it’s frequently not just alcohol that needs to go. Other monsters too. It’s overwhelming, all the haz-mat cleaning I have to do. 
Now I’m ready to go join the hippies. Drop out. Things just seem broken and it’s almost like a Hunger games vibe at workplaces… I’m going to have to figure out a better way. Freelance. Lots of possibilities sober. Or, just get on the magic bus to the forest. Make jewelry. Play my guitar. 
Enjoy your sober day. It’s weirdly overcast with tropical humidity. Ready for a drenching. And a workout. Doing better. love you
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I’m very sorry that happened. Kudos to you for handling it the way you did. Don’t think I could have.
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Im in tears girl. Ur post really impacted me. I have no words. Im so sorry uv had to endure this kind of abuse as a child and even now into adulthood. Those words and actions are sooo hurtful and im glad u stood up for urself. Im glad u werent silent like the rest of ur family. Sending u many many MANY hugs
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Hey Thirdmonkey, I’m going through the same with my kid. Similar feelings too. Don’t want to be a hypocrite but I do want to be a pushover either and I don’t want him to lead a similar life to me… it’s tough to know what to do… he has a diagnosis of ADHD and has told me everything feels better when he smokes. The problem is motivation to do anything else can go and the drug that helps then becomes the problem as most of us know. Plus brain development at a young age can be problematic when using substances. Certainly was for me. I hope you get some answers friend, good luck…Thanks for sharing.
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2y4m4d
Morning friends! Beautiful day out here today. Feeling pretty good but emotional. Ive also been experiencing an intense fear of death lately. This fear is trying to consume me but im doing my best to not let it. Idk what it is… just fear of family dying and fear of me getting old (Im 39) and dying. Im basically half way thru my life and i feel like ive wasted sooo much of it on drugs. I didnt have much of a childhood or adolescences. Struggled immensly in my early adult years with drugs and getting out of sex work. Life was sooo serious and there was very very little joy. I didnt think i would make it past 25 years of age to be honest. And now Im having to make up for time i guess. Ive been seeing obituaries on facebook of people that i know who have passed away. People that i was in the rooms with or in treatment with. Im very lucky to be here and feel so sad for the families who have to bury their loved ones. Im sooo fucking grateful to be clean. Im just trying to make the best of my life now. Trying to live with purpose and to impact the world in some way. Trying to make a difference. Idk… i think i just need a good workout today to release this built up emotional energy. Im running an errand now and then I will workout. Have a great day friends 
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So happy for you Tomek! Big congrats on this major milestone! Hope you’ll feel better very soon
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That’s totally crazy dear Twizzlers! So sorry that has been your reality all your life. Really made me feel sick to my stomach to read about it. Your mother is a very sick woman and nobody should have to endure that.
This shocked me the most. No it’s not normal! It’s totally crazy and sick and uncalled for! Big big hugs my friend. Thanks for sharing. Maybe from this some healing for you can begin.
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