Just checking in Beautiful day here, sun is shining woth a breeze to keep the bugs away. Spent lots of time in the veggie garden and just waiting for hubby to get home with the kids.
Some possible good news for my nephew, though I dont want to get my hopes up. I dont mean that in a negative way, just need to be patient and see how things unfold before I throw myself in. It would be, if it could be, wonderful news and the best possible outcome I believe. Taking a deep breath and thinking of my sister, thinking of this last 2 and half years and how far we have come for my nephew. How far we have come as people, and as family.
Just going to sit and enjoy the quiet before the kids get home. So grateful everyday for being sober. Smoking is the last one to go, and I will conquer that one too in good time. For now, i am just so grateful to not have an incling to drink and appreciate all you fine folks who are with me on this jpurney xo
Since keeping up with your personal 30 day challenge I have become more aware of my self when I feel irritable over something silly. Or mumbling under my breath āffsā or ābollo*ksā and I am noticing parts of myself that I could work on.
I wouldnāt have become so aware if I hadnāt been looking for ways I may/do have negative responses/reactions
I havenāt been myself the last few days. Feel like Iām in some sort of depression. I havenāt exercised, barely ate and just been a couch potato. I worked today, it was nice to see people and chat.
Iāve been beefing with the wife. Standing on business which means the boys are bunking together and Iām sleeping in my youngestās room. Bad sleep last night, my oldest lost another tooth at 3:30 this morning and I had to be up early to get to work for 7:00.
I start a new part time job tomorrow. I got this job before I decided to get sober. Itās a liquor store. Over here itās a government job with benefits and pension. Itās really hard to get into, and this is a āget my foot in the doorā type of job. Then move to head office and work the corporate world again. Iāve had a few E-Learning shifts but tomorrow is first day in the store. Iām looking forward to that but can already feel the nerves.
Monday Iāve got court for a ticket and then see the doctor right after that. Feel stressed out at home and thereās weight on my mind. Cloudy, not being able to think my way out of my predicament is new for me.
I know sleep and stopping the drama will fix everything. I like proving a point too much. I hate swallowing my pride, especially when Iām right. Itās a lessor of two evils situation in my mind, the same mind thatās not working right.
But here, sober. No cravings at all the last few days. I must be doing something right, but so many things wrong at the same time.
I think youre way of doing things is rubbing off on me lol earlier today i said something pretty criticial under my breath of another person and i immediately told myself (also under my breath) ācome on Dana, be nice. This isnt the kind of person you want to beā. Then i prayed to my HP and asked for guidance in being kind and patience and compassionate of others. It felt good to challenge that thinking. Its ALOT of work. Bcuz i find that thoughts are very automatic. And if I dont really focus on my thinking, its hard to catch those critical or unkind thoughts
That was the million dollar question. This drained both of us for days. We agreed to forgive and forget. No one is right, no one is wrong, no one apologizesā¦ Just move on and reset.
Idk fam. Feeling very uneasy. Staying somewhere away from home and so far vibes are justā¦ uneasy. Im also worried about leaving my cat home alone (I know heāll be perfectly fine, I just feel so bad for him because he gets lonely and I have no way of communicating to him that weāll be back soon). Kind of in a sketchier area and its just giving me anxiety. I know weāll be fine though, its just a much different environment than Iām used to. Really feeling the urge to drink andā¦ idk if Iām gonna get through tonight without doing it to be honest. I know Iām capable of it though, so Iām gonna hang on to that. I know if I can get through tonight sober, its gonna make me stronger. I also just really dont want to ruin my streak. It just feels so off here, and I feel like Im not gonna be able to relax. But hopefully the night will turn out better, I have some things in mind that might help take my mind off things. That voice in my head is just really strong, like maybe a couple drinks wont hurt. Ugh. I know its bullshit. So frustrating. Just gotta breathe through it I guess.
Take care Zoe. You can make it through tonight. The key is acceptance.
Maybe you wonāt. But itās ok. You accept life as it is: you accept that life comes in waves, up and down, back and forth. It wonāt kill you. (Hint: drinking will.)
Keep checking in here. Listen to some meditations (I use Insight Timer). Do a crossword, a puzzle, or some other activity to pass time.
And the most important thing of all: connect. Post a quick message here before you go to bed, and then lie down and rest. If you have insomnia, take a shower, watch some tv, or come on here and check in again.
Checking in day 75. We are about to head to a function at a boat club thatās intended to go for 5 hours. Its my brotherās, his wifeās and a few friends 40th birthday year so they are having a big celebration. Itās basically a big piss up so Iāll need to be cautious and not get caught up in the moment. I will have a nice crisp Coca cola though!
@sarath_unrelax Congrats on your double digits! Grateful that you are doing so well in your journey and having positive thoughts towards your way of living! @noshame your timers are impressive ā way to go with your 50 days no marijuana! You do have a lot going on and you should be proud of how you are doing it all sober and with a clear head! Just remember to take it ODAAT and lean on us when you need support @acromouse So sorry that you are not feeling so great ā hope that has changed since you posted. Were you able to get to a doctor to see what was causing your symptoms. Sending you healing vibes and hoping you feel better soon @catmancam I am glad you got that refund for all the flour. Sending you loads of love and a massive virtual hug friend. Iām sorry for the intense emotions that you are experiencing- hoping that the meditation will help. I do find that when I canāt cry then screaming helps. Also some light movement like yoga helps release pockets within you (if that makes sense). I am furious too that they would put you back on the bottom ā are you able to as your treatment provider to talk with them and explain the situation? Mayb e having an advocate might help? @tailee17 How are you doing Lam? Hope all went well with the surgery @twizzlers Oh Iām sorry to hear about your sons health scare. Grateful everything is ok. Love that you are building a gateway from window to Catio ā how fun! I just saw something like that on a video the other day ā have fun with it ā¦ always better to measure twice and cut / drill once looking forward to seeing your creation come to life @laner Thanks friend! Oh Iām happy to hear that the trauma workbook is helping. Grateful to read that you will be dealing with mostly woman and want to say congrats on being proactive about your trip and how you will deal with possible episodes. These are huge steps and you should be proud! @scorpn WOOT WOOT 600 days is fantastic work Renee ā so great to see you popping in with an amazing milestone. You have come a long way friend and I am glad to hear that you will be getting some r&r time soon @ladybug1974 never quit quitting! You never know which one time will be the one that sticks. Congrats on your day 1 friend ā hope that you will stick with us as I find that the support here is amazing and being around the TS members has helped me stay focused and on track. @butterflymoonwoman Way to go Dana ā glad to see your hard work paying off and that you are sticking with your healthy routines. Those are some awesome looking toppers ā you are very talented! Sure the cupcakes will be a big hit!
@leveller Way to go with your double digits! So sorry to hear that your wife still in hospital. Hope they are able to provide some comfort and relief for her. Sending healing vibes her way @danwood85 :laughing; picturing your pup chewing up everything gave me a chuckle ā sorry! I donāt have pets but do adore them. Way to go with your 40 days! Very impressive work Dan ā keep it going strong Hope you enjoyed you Friday as well ā mine was super busy and I enjoyed it thoroughly. @mira_d OOH Iām on pins and needles and am going to get my hopes up for the both of us. You all deserve some good news and I do hope that this all unfolds well for you and especially for your nephew. Hope you enjoyed your sunshining day in the veggie garden ā sounds heavenly @skhan Sending you luck with your first day on the job ā remember that this place is active 24/7 and you can come here for support / advice at any time. Hoping that the new job is not triggering for you and will be the great stepping stone you are hoping for. @wahtisnormal You have come too far to give in now. What is driving your urge to drink? Is it the anxiety of being in a new place, others are drinking, romanticizing how it used to be? Play that tape forward Zoe ā you know how it ends (if not how it ends tonight then how the addiction will take hold again and how hard it is to get back on track with day 1 ā not to mention all the crap feelings at the beginning of the sober journey). Try to grab a non alcoholic beverage and find something to keep you distracted. Stay connected here if that helps. You just need to not pick up! Drinking is not the answer or any type of solution. :hugs; @whereswaldo Enjoy that crisp coca cola friend. We will be right here for you if you should need the support ā I find that when we are aware of our triggers and prepared for them then we are not caught off guard and swept away. You are kicking ass with 75 days ā keep stacking up the days! @bones_80 great to see you Ian. I am so sorry that you are dealing with horrible pain. Wishing you relief and comfort my friend. Hope you are enjoying your anime
Checking in on Friday night - Saturday morning
527 Days free of alcohol and weed
942 Days free of cigarettes
WOW - today was a busy day ā Tired and actually yawning so that is a good sign - possibly will get some sleep tonight. My symptoms have been manageable except for the torn abdomen muscle.
This pain has been intense this evening.
Getting prepped for Sundayās festival has kept me occupied. I have gathered items needed and done all the baking so tomorrow should be a easy going day.
Glad that i took some me time to just relax and mess around with my puzzle. Hoping to finish up by tomorrow as i need the table for Sunday
Wishing you all a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
My cat woke me up bc he was hungry, which he knows is bad, and I find out itās bc he puked up the food he ate during the night in 3 different spots So, yeah, the morning began with the same shitty energy I went to bed with. After my daughter left for school, I just went right back to sleep. Physically and mentally exhausted. Ugh. I havenāt had pms like that in such a long time. Totally uncool.
I slept til 1, having dreams about my dead fish (whoās apparently a champion fighter wherever he is), and slowly got ready for work. Late last night, us managers were text about having a meeting today. I didnāt work the last 2 days so I had no idea what it was about but assumed it wasnāt good and really wasnāt looking forward to starting the workday like that. Everyone else was in a shit mood too, but it actually turned out to be a good meeting. As bad as I imagined the night to go, being our first outside music/happy hour of the year, which are usually a shitshow, it was actually really smooth. My horrible attitude assumed the worst and ended up being completely wrong. By the end of the shift, all that negativity had left and I was feeling almost back to normal (my cycle starting mightāve had something to do with it too ).
My ex is still in jail after going to court again today. Next time I call the jail Iām going to ask for a contact who might have more information on the situation. Being in the dark over whatās going on is more irritating than him being in jail in the first place. Hope to figure it out soon Winding down now, getting ready to fall asleep on the right side of the bed. Night
Beautiful day here, sun is shining woth a breeze to keep the bugs away. Spent lots of time in the veggie garden and just waiting for hubby to get home with the kids.
looking forward to seeing your creation come to life
ā so great to see you popping in with an amazing milestone. You have come a long way friend and I am glad to hear that you will be getting some r&r time soon 
So, yeah, the morning began with the same shitty energy I went to bed with. After my daughter left for school, I just went right back to sleep. Physically and mentally exhausted. Ugh. I havenāt had pms like that in such a long time. Totally uncool.
).