Checking in daily to maintain focus #67

Continuing the discussion from Checking in daily to maintain focus #66 - #2532 by Danwood85.

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Just checking in :slight_smile: Beautiful day here, sun is shining woth a breeze to keep the bugs away. Spent lots of time in the veggie garden and just waiting for hubby to get home with the kids.

Some possible good news for my nephew, though I dont want to get my hopes up. I dont mean that in a negative way, just need to be patient and see how things unfold before I throw myself in. It would be, if it could be, wonderful news and the best possible outcome I believe. Taking a deep breath and thinking of my sister, thinking of this last 2 and half years and how far we have come for my nephew. How far we have come as people, and as family.

Just going to sit and enjoy the quiet before the kids get home. So grateful everyday for being sober. Smoking is the last one to go, and I will conquer that one too in good time. For now, i am just so grateful to not have an incling to drink and appreciate all you fine folks who are with me on this jpurney xo

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Spent the day making raised beds in the garden to grow veg. It’s Friday and keeping busy helps keep me in check.

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Evening time. Time to tell on myself.

30-day Challenge DAY 26

I had to put myself in my mental penalty box this morning. Man, this shit takes vigilance. I went to get coffee and a stranger was ogling me and so what,eh? But I caught myself saying under my breath"wtf are you lookin’ at?" Well I am glad I caught myself and I recovered my better self quickly. All in all a good day. Even got things aligned with a Sangha member who was upset with me. Imagine that.

Y’all have a beautiful Friday night :crescent_moon:

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Since keeping up with your personal 30 day challenge I have become more aware of my self when I feel irritable over something silly. Or mumbling under my breath ‘ffs’ or ‘bollo*ks’ and I am noticing parts of myself that I could work on.
I wouldn’t have become so aware if I hadn’t been looking for ways I may/do have negative responses/reactions :pray:

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My twinnie and I both feel this has been really good for each of us. Just becoming more aware and making some adjustments is really what its about. The actions aren’t as important to me as the awareness. I meam it’s not like that fucker heard me muttering. Lol.

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Day 18

I haven’t been myself the last few days. Feel like I’m in some sort of depression. I haven’t exercised, barely ate and just been a couch potato. I worked today, it was nice to see people and chat.

I’ve been beefing with the wife. Standing on business which means the boys are bunking together and I’m sleeping in my youngest’s room. Bad sleep last night, my oldest lost another tooth at 3:30 this morning and I had to be up early to get to work for 7:00.

I start a new part time job tomorrow. I got this job before I decided to get sober. It’s a liquor store. Over here it’s a government job with benefits and pension. It’s really hard to get into, and this is a “get my foot in the door” type of job. Then move to head office and work the corporate world again. I’ve had a few E-Learning shifts but tomorrow is first day in the store. I’m looking forward to that but can already feel the nerves.

Monday I’ve got court for a ticket and then see the doctor right after that. Feel stressed out at home and there’s weight on my mind. Cloudy, not being able to think my way out of my predicament is new for me.

I know sleep and stopping the drama will fix everything. I like proving a point too much. I hate swallowing my pride, especially when I’m right. It’s a lessor of two evils situation in my mind, the same mind that’s not working right.

But here, sober. No cravings at all the last few days. I must be doing something right, but so many things wrong at the same time.

Enjoy the night everyone!

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Checking out Day 147 AF

The dog days of sobriety. Seasoned enough to not be fresh news, new enough not to know enough. Lol

Good night all
:pray::heart::peace_symbol:

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I think youre way of doing things is rubbing off on me lol earlier today i said something pretty criticial under my breath of another person and i immediately told myself (also under my breath) “come on Dana, be nice. This isnt the kind of person you want to be”. Then i prayed to my HP and asked for guidance in being kind and patience and compassionate of others. It felt good to challenge that thinking. Its ALOT of work. Bcuz i find that thoughts are very automatic. And if I dont really focus on my thinking, its hard to catch those critical or unkind thoughts

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This is so awesome Dana. It is hard work to really take one’s inventory and when wrong,admit it. I feel after some time of this practice it becomes less of a challenge and a more natural less forced behavior. We are,both of us,swimming against the stream of the culture we exist in. Being human and possessing an ego
We naturally just react to stimuli. Like when your in your car and someone cuts you off you react,right. This practice has made me pause more often instead of being reactive. I’m proud of you dear. Have a lovely evening.

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Motorcycle update?

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Ask yourself would I rather be right or would I rather be happy? The answer may surprise you. Congratulations on your sober streak nice job!

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I’m no angel!

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That was the million dollar question. This drained both of us for days. We agreed to forgive and forget. No one is right, no one is wrong, no one apologizes… Just move on and reset.

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Day 48

Idk fam. Feeling very uneasy. Staying somewhere away from home and so far vibes are just… uneasy. Im also worried about leaving my cat home alone (I know he’ll be perfectly fine, I just feel so bad for him because he gets lonely and I have no way of communicating to him that we’ll be back soon). Kind of in a sketchier area and its just giving me anxiety. I know we’ll be fine though, its just a much different environment than I’m used to. Really feeling the urge to drink and… idk if I’m gonna get through tonight without doing it to be honest. I know I’m capable of it though, so I’m gonna hang on to that. I know if I can get through tonight sober, its gonna make me stronger. I also just really dont want to ruin my streak. It just feels so off here, and I feel like Im not gonna be able to relax. But hopefully the night will turn out better, I have some things in mind that might help take my mind off things. That voice in my head is just really strong, like maybe a couple drinks wont hurt. Ugh. I know its bullshit. So frustrating. Just gotta breathe through it I guess.

Hope everyone is doing well :pray:t2:

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Take care Zoe. You can make it through tonight. The key is acceptance.

Maybe you won’t. But it’s ok. You accept life as it is: you accept that life comes in waves, up and down, back and forth. It won’t kill you. (Hint: drinking will.)

Keep checking in here. Listen to some meditations (I use Insight Timer). Do a crossword, a puzzle, or some other activity to pass time.

And the most important thing of all: connect. Post a quick message here before you go to bed, and then lie down and rest. If you have insomnia, take a shower, watch some tv, or come on here and check in again.

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Thank you for coming here to talk. You have done so well and we all are with you in this journey.
Let’s do the next 24 hours together :muscle:

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Checking in day 75. We are about to head to a function at a boat club that’s intended to go for 5 hours. Its my brother’s, his wife’s and a few friends 40th birthday year so they are having a big celebration. It’s basically a big piss up so I’ll need to be cautious and not get caught up in the moment. I will have a nice crisp Coca cola though!

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556 :muscle: chilling watching anime

Pain still horrible still waiting for new feeding tube within the next 2 weeks hopefully got a ct in middle of June

Happy sober Saturday everyone

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@sarath_unrelax Congrats on your double digits! Grateful that you are doing so well in your journey and having positive thoughts towards your way of living!
@noshame your timers are impressive – way to go with your 50 days no marijuana! You do have a lot going on and you should be proud of how you are doing it all sober and with a clear head! Just remember to take it ODAAT and lean on us when you need support :hugs:
@acromouse So sorry that you are not feeling so great – hope that has changed since you posted. Were you able to get to a doctor to see what was causing your symptoms. Sending you healing vibes and hoping you feel better soon :hugs:
@catmancam I am glad you got that refund for all the flour. Sending you loads of love and a massive virtual hug friend. I’m sorry for the intense emotions that you are experiencing- hoping that the meditation will help. I do find that when I can’t cry then screaming helps. Also some light movement like yoga helps release pockets within you (if that makes sense). I am furious too that they would put you back on the bottom – are you able to as your treatment provider to talk with them and explain the situation? Mayb e having an advocate might help?
@tailee17 How are you doing Lam? Hope all went well with the surgery :pray:
@twizzlers Oh I’m sorry to hear about your sons health scare. Grateful everything is ok. Love that you are building a gateway from window to Catio – how fun! I just saw something like that on a video the other day – have fun with it … always better to measure twice and cut / drill once :wink: looking forward to seeing your creation come to life
@laner Thanks friend! Oh I’m happy to hear that the trauma workbook is helping. Grateful to read that you will be dealing with mostly woman and want to say congrats on being proactive about your trip and how you will deal with possible episodes. These are huge steps and you should be proud!
@scorpn WOOT WOOT 600 days is fantastic work Renee :tada: :tada: :partying_face: :clap: – so great to see you popping in with an amazing milestone. You have come a long way friend and I am glad to hear that you will be getting some r&r time soon :hugs: :heart:
@ladybug1974 never quit quitting! You never know which one time will be the one that sticks. Congrats on your day 1 friend – hope that you will stick with us as I find that the support here is amazing and being around the TS members has helped me stay focused and on track.
@butterflymoonwoman Way to go Dana – glad to see your hard work paying off and that you are sticking with your healthy routines. Those are some awesome looking toppers – you are very talented! Sure the cupcakes will be a big hit!

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