Checking in daily to maintain focus #67

Thanks for sharing, a big virtual hug :people_hugging::pray:

5 Likes

Thank you :people_hugging: luckily I donā€™t live there so removing myself From the situation solves it in a little way.

Hugs to you too :hugs: :hugs:

6 Likes

Just checking in. Yesterday was .y first Fatherā€™s Day without my dad. He died last October from heart disease and alcohol played a large part in his condition. I want to be around for my boys

16 Likes

What a shit show for you. Thatā€™s completely unacceptable. And all there were complicit and clearly under her control. I really urge you to not see this as anything you did wrong. Maybe you donā€™t need her in your life, she reminds me a lot of my own motherā€¦

Here if you wanna chat and Iā€™m so sorry that happened to you. Shameful on her. Itā€™s abusive, end of.

9 Likes

Iā€™m really sorry that happened to you, it is truly awful. Iā€™m relieved to know youā€™re safe now. Getting away quickly was a good idea. It sucks that youā€™re not safe there. Hugs and thinking of you :people_hugging:

7 Likes

:people_hugging::people_hugging::people_hugging: so sorry Twizzlersā€¦ totally not acceptable behavior on her part and Iā€™m grateful that you are seeing how not ok it is. Glad you were able to leave when you did.

Love that you have created a safe haven for yourself where you are able to breathe and heal.
My much love :heart:

5 Likes

Oh man thats brutal. Sounds like some important realisations were made and that will lead to some important healing for you. Your son is lucky to have an inspiring mum who is willing to stand up for herself in a respectful and calm way. Love your outlook and appreciation of all the good around you. Sounds like you are breaking some generational cycles here. Sending love!

5 Likes

Thanks Catman! Incredible having 28 days with no takeaway! I really need to do the same. I think Iā€™m almost ready, the more I read on here the stronger Iā€™m feeling about it. Thanks for being so inspiring :pray:

5 Likes

Checking in day 91. I think I was too eager and skipped day 89 a couple of days ago - whoops!

This evening we signed some documents and paid the $3k deposit to go to contract on our build. They will do site tests and surveys and in 6 weeks present us with a final quote. After that, it will be another 6-12weeks before we knock down our old house and they start building! By then, our little girl will be born.

Exciting times ahead that I am sure I wouldnā€™t be able to do if I was still drinking. I wouldnā€™t have had the confidence to do this all.

Have a great week everyone!

12 Likes

Day 108

Iā€™m so glad I got sober. I have a chance now. Drinking kept me down and stuck. I am learning itā€™s frequently not just alcohol that needs to go. Other monsters too. Itā€™s overwhelming, all the haz-mat cleaning I have to do. :radioactive: :warning:

Now Iā€™m ready to go join the hippies. Drop out. Things just seem broken and itā€™s almost like a Hunger games vibe at workplacesā€¦ Iā€™m going to have to figure out a better way. Freelance. Lots of possibilities sober. Or, just get on the magic bus to the forest. Make jewelry. Play my guitar. :laughing:

Enjoy your sober day. Itā€™s weirdly overcast with tropical humidity. Ready for a drenching. And a workout. Doing better. :heart:love you

16 Likes

Iā€™m very sorry that happened. Kudos to you for handling it the way you did. Donā€™t think I could have. :people_hugging:

6 Likes

Im in tears girl. Ur post really impacted me. I have no words. Im so sorry uv had to endure this kind of abuse as a child and even now into adulthood. Those words and actions are sooo hurtful and im glad u stood up for urself. Im glad u werent silent like the rest of ur family. Sending u many many MANY hugs

6 Likes

Hey Thirdmonkey, Iā€™m going through the same with my kid. Similar feelings too. Donā€™t want to be a hypocrite but I do want to be a pushover either and I donā€™t want him to lead a similar life to meā€¦ itā€™s tough to know what to doā€¦ he has a diagnosis of ADHD and has told me everything feels better when he smokes. The problem is motivation to do anything else can go and the drug that helps then becomes the problem as most of us know. Plus brain development at a young age can be problematic when using substances. Certainly was for me. I hope you get some answers friend, good luckā€¦Thanks for sharing. :pray:

7 Likes

2y4m4d
Morning friends! Beautiful day out here today. Feeling pretty good but emotional. Ive also been experiencing an intense fear of death lately. This fear is trying to consume me but im doing my best to not let it. Idk what it isā€¦ just fear of family dying and fear of me getting old (Im 39) and dying. Im basically half way thru my life and i feel like ive wasted sooo much of it on drugs. I didnt have much of a childhood or adolescences. Struggled immensly in my early adult years with drugs and getting out of sex work. Life was sooo serious and there was very very little joy. I didnt think i would make it past 25 years of age to be honest. And now Im having to make up for time i guess. Ive been seeing obituaries on facebook of people that i know who have passed away. People that i was in the rooms with or in treatment with. Im very lucky to be here and feel so sad for the families who have to bury their loved ones. Im sooo fucking grateful to be clean. Im just trying to make the best of my life now. Trying to live with purpose and to impact the world in some way. Trying to make a difference. Idkā€¦ i think i just need a good workout today to release this built up emotional energy. Im running an errand now and then I will workout. Have a great day friends :butterfly:

14 Likes

So happy for you Tomek! Big congrats on this major milestone! Hope youā€™ll feel better very soon :people_hugging:

6 Likes

Thatā€™s totally crazy dear Twizzlers! So sorry that has been your reality all your life. Really made me feel sick to my stomach to read about it. Your mother is a very sick woman and nobody should have to endure that.

This shocked me the most. No itā€™s not normal! Itā€™s totally crazy and sick and uncalled for! Big big hugs my friend. Thanks for sharing. Maybe from this some healing for you can begin. :people_hugging: :heart: :people_hugging:

8 Likes

Glad the surgery is behind you now , hope the headaches will get there too :sweat_smile:
Good to hear from you!

5 Likes

His issue is stress. He has prescribed meds for them. At his age, he fails to see that 80%, atleast, of his stress has been created by him. However, it is his life to live. I can suggest things and mentorā€¦ita up to him to run with it.

4 Likes

Checking in on day 80.

Slept like crap last night.
Gonna attend a meeting tomorrow, something is bothering me but Iā€™m not sure what it is yet. :man_shrugging:

Otherwise things are looking good. Need some plans for my vacation. Maybe some writing idk.

Been falling back into this old behaviour of ā€œIā€™ll do it tomorrow.ā€

Not the greatest point to be at but tomorrow is another day. Iā€™ll catch up some sleep for now.

See you around and take care everyone. :slight_smile:

14 Likes

Hey, thanks! Days are up and down but not as far down as I have been so thats something, Ill take it!

Hope you are all well and good :heart:

3 Likes