Day 217. Well i did not hit the treadmill after work lol. I did some laundry cleaned a little and relaxed. It was crazy hottt, was able to take friday off so im looking forward to a little extra time with my girls this weekend. Had a nice ride into work this morning, saw some beautiful birds and said my morning hellos to the squirrels. Anyways much love to everyone
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Early Wednesday morning check in for me. Day 343. 
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Day 110
Struggling with insomnia. Feeling down, discouraged and very alone. Not doing well.
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Insomnia sucks. I battle with that as well. It really affects my mood and emotions. Iām sorry you feel discouraged and alone. Sending you some love!
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Hey all, checking in on day 1466. I hope everybody has a good one!
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I enjoyed our time as moderators. You helped me tremendously. Thank you, and enjoy your moderator free life!!
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Day 39, missed check in yesterday fell asleep early. Will do a second check in this evening.
Have a great day everyone!
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Hit up a womenās AA meeting on zoom?
Just remember that feelings will come and go. Hold strong, firm feet 
Have you ever tried mediation or breathwork?
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Thank you
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Goodmorning from hot Massachusetts on day
406 no alcohol
337 no vape or ciggs 46 no form of nicotine
6 no form of marijuanna
Yesterday i was on outside working on grocery carts for 6 long hours in the hot sun from 7am to 3pm. The grocery kart guy called out. I was proud i did it without asking someone else to take my place for the entier workshift but i got a good sunburn and a bit dehydrated. I started crashing the second my replacement showed up
Today is day 6 no marijuanna. I sm SO THANKFUL to no be on day 1. I smoked actually 7days ago at around 8pm. I reset it to midnight tonight. My last 2 days off from work SUCKED because of the marijuanna, totally unrestful.
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Iām here, Iām alive Iām sober and Iām happy.
Day 112.
Itās raining again, or maybe I should say that itās still raining.
We got two weeks of amazing weather in May right after the snow melted.
According to the weather forecasts for this summer, thatās it. The rest of the summer is going to be cold and Rainy just as last year. I really hope that theyāve got it wrong.
I canāt stand another year with no summer, barley no sun and a winter that last for a half eternity.
Still stans for what I said about emigrating if that happens.
In fact we do already have a plan about moving abroad,but not until the kids have finished school. It feels most fair that way.
Husband wants to go back āhomeā and have been wanting that for years. Iāve got no relation to Serbia where he is partly raised and since he got a bunch of friends over in Croatia thatās where weāre heading hopefully in a few years.
Weāre planning to spend a few months there for next summer. Iām currently trying to learn Croatian. I thought I had great language skills but Iām starting to doubt that now 
Guess I could get around with Romani in a few places, but the benefits of learning Croatian and be able to communicate is bigger than relying on only Romani. Besides that gypsies arenāt really popular anywhere in Europe so it might be better to be āA Swede thatās trying to learn Croatianā than a gypsy.
Enough with that, Midsummer eve in Friday and Iāll be damned if it doesnāt rain that day, it always does 
Wishing yāall a wonderful day no matter the weather 
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Hey Marie.
Some tips:
Do you get sunlight everyday? Do you keep a sleep schedule and lower all lights several hours before bed? Turn off phones and screens at least an hour before bed and take the magnesium then. Try ashwagandha supplement for the l theathine and trytophan.
Have a sleepy tea with the magnesium, create a ritual.
Make sure your bedroom is cool and dark. I use blackout blinds and a sleep mask, though my cats try to take both offā¦I also have an electronic mask that applies pressure and heat to my eyes and the surrounding bones and tissues. It has a soothing music or Bluetooth to send a podcast to whilst itās working.
Podcasts! Do you have an Alexa? We set an hours length listening slot for a podcast after we have finished reading or whatever and ready to settle down.
Another soothing listen is BBC 4 radio, though I canāt tell you how many times I have fallen asleep to the shipping forecast, imagining myself sailing around the UK coast line as the maritime readings are read out. At this point Iām also aware it starts at 12.50am so Iām a bit late, but itās soothing and makes me feel so cosy in the big picture.
Iāve heard at least three times this week that ferritin levels affect sleepā¦ Maybe get your iron and ferritin tested? You might get restless legs if you have low levels. Also, gut health is popping itās head up into sleep studiesā¦ How is this for you? Can you improve your diet? Add in some probiotics?
Itās something Iām kind of obsessed with and listen to massive amounts of studies on.
Lastly, maybe try some parasympathetic techniques; try yoga, tai chi, breathwork, meditation and vagus nerve activation.
Good luck, I hope my suggestions are ok, I donāt mean to pry or be overly enthusiastic about this stuff, itās just an interest of mine. Iām really not a great sleeper, but Iām improving.
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Thank you TF . I really appreciate you taking the time to write about this. Iām thinking about what youāve listed and will see what I can add to my routine. I canāt make everything go away, but I can make it easier. More a bit later. Thank you, friend. This is painful stuff at times.
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Day 87 As I continue to be active in NA and work the steps I am noticing changes in myself. Life is still life but the way i am dealing with it is whats changing. I definitely recommend the NA program for anyone struggling with their recovery. It has given me a fellowship that I needed. I no longer have to take this journey alone
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I love Dom Dolla! That sounds like my kind of festival 
I find the energy from that type of music makes me feel good by itself. I think it will be awesome experiencing it sober, and youāll remember it. I hope you have a great time!
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-XX-
day 618
were home. the trip was great! of course nothing is perfect, but we had a great time!
AND I spent a week at my āhome usingā state and didnāt even think of looking for drugs!
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- So, the strangest of good days happened today. Firstly I was super tired, but I pulled my ass to Body Balance and had a cracking classā¦ truly awesome, mind and spirit. Have been disciplined with food and nutrition today after a very suspect day yesterday. It happens. Had a nice shower and then did a forty minute breathwork (3x8 minute sets of mouth only breathing followed by retentions and a big scream). Well, Iāve done breathwork before, itās not new to meā¦ But this time my hands clenched up tight involuntarily, I was tingly and cold and slightly dizzy and then absolutely flooded by elation and wellbeing. I met my younger self and I came away drenched in layers of sweat (had to shower again, my clothes were literally drenched through), rivulets streaming down my face. Wow, I feel good. Reborn.
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Checking in on day 36. Gave myself grace to sleep in but not wanting to get out of bed. Fears rose up again about the future. Negative thoughts about the past. Me doubting myself and my ability to fundamenrally change.
On further reflection it seems to relate to self loveā¦the opposite being of course self loathing (that which gives us permission to hurt ourselves and others by selfish means).
Sobriety (abstinence from substance abuse) is only treating the symptoms. The real issue lies under the layers of the onion. For me, that means allowing God to work in my life. Undoing a lifetimeās worth of a narrative of selfishness and self hatred in thought, deed and word.
As I begin the first footsteps on the walk through the impending trials of life I keep this verse in mind:
āI sought the Lord and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fearsā
Psalm 34:4
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7y6m5d
I am working from home today after 2 days of working in the office and my long commute. It took me an hour and 8 minutes to get home last night. So Iām very happy to just have to walk to the dining room table for the rest of the week.
@Mno thanks for serving as a moderator here. Your time is very appreciated. Glad you can focus now on the 3D world.
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