Most of the Time I have no problem drinking and I drink alot of water. But when I think about it I dont think I have Been drinking much water last two days, mostly Pepsi Max… To little water maybe.
Will try drink more calories
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248 days
Quiet day after nightshift.
Went for a bush walk with the dogs.
Now just watching some olympic wrestling before bed
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Checking in day 141.
Newborn life is fun! Covered in spew and wee… Reminds me of my nights drinking when I was 17!
This 2nd child is much easier so far.
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Sending love Sophia, very worrying time. All the best, keep us updated where you want to. 
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Hope your hubby has a full and speedy recovery
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Hi friends. I’m here to say I’m starting again. Some time under my belt is great and I have a lot of wonderful experience and tools to work with. I hit the fuck it button on a trip with my husband’s family, both drink and pot, after several days of saying no. Pot has never been a big issue for me addiction-wise but it was a contributing factor in this case for sure. Any substance that lets me escape is, I’m realizing. I have only myself and my decisions to lean on here and I made a conscious decision to partake. I don’t want that in my life. I know that and I have to move forward after 1000+ days and continue working on what I want my life to look like. I didn’t lose anything. I am not pleased with what I did and the choices I made. I will continue to work on the tools and skills I need to live the life I am wanting to live. I come here to say that we all are in charge of our own lives and we have a responsibility to ourselves to build that for ourselves. My friend Menno taught me that the opposite of addiction is connection and I’ve been absent. I’ll try to be connected here more as I keep working on my recovery.
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189 days AF
Yesterday I wrote an enthusiastic post about my Ed tendencies in foodies thread.
Today I feel nothing but guilt and selfhate about what I ate, restriction and hard diet ideas hammering in my head.
Obviously I am not healed at all. 
Sober anyway.
Love you guys!
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- My sister arrives in 11 days for a 3 day stay. I don’t think she will drink here, though I won’t stop her. It’s so weird that she kind of has a drinking problem as well, but we have stopped talking about it. I don’t know if it’s worse or better or manageable. I feel like I don’t know very much right now about her, so I’m looking forward to connecting again. We clung to each other fiercely after the estrangement with family, now we are more in what feels like a ‘cool off’ period. I don’t understand it much, maybe we needed to spread our wings. I’m forcing myself to not look too much into it, but she’s not really always there when I need her the most, only the other way around when she has dramas. It’s fine, I can shoulder this, I have done. It’s done, I’m fixing myself like I did all my life. But I have to very much be so careful of resentments eating my sanity and voice. Sober and steady and mindful. Give heart, and take whatever is offered. Assess what you feel in the cold light of day. Reassess relationships and needs. Align.
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Hey Rosa 
jump back on board. We need ya here
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Greetings. I replied to someone the other day about how the fresh feeling never gets old. Previously today would have been an awful struggle after a bank holiday weekend. Instead I’m in the early stages planning an (expensive) family holiday to Florida.
For many year’s I’ve wanted to visit the US if thing’s got as planned I will visit and share the experience with my beautiful wife and kids
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Hey all, checking in on day 1514. I hope everybody has a good one!
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Checking in again. Still sober. I woke up with bad anxiety today and did a lot to try to get it down but it didn’t budge much. Yesterday the counselor suggested trying an anxiety medicine. I’ve never been on one before and am unsure about it. What are some positive/negative things about taking anxiety medicine? There are limited options here…either way I’ll need to travel very far to buy this type of medicine. And it might be something I need to leave the country to purchase and I’d have to buy in bulk. So it would be a big deal despite side effects…just because of my location. I’ve been worrying about it and thinking about the hassle of getting my hands on it and going through all of that and then it not working or me not reacting to it properly. So I keep going back and forth on it. What is some advice in this situation?
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@butterflymoonwoman DO hope you got some sleep and feel rested this morning. New days with new possibilities friend 
@justkaitlin Way to go friend. That is a huge situation you faced and overcame. How far you have already come! Amazing to see – keep up the great work
@refreshedperspective way to go with the race friend – hope you all had a wonderful time. Smart to be protective of your sobriety Who knows where you will be mentally by then but even planning for something like that in the future somehow affects my way of present thinking. Keep pushing forward 
@efountains Way to go with your 100 weeks of sobriety! That is awesome work 
Keep continuing on for the next 24 and so on … ODAAT
@brokenwolf So good to see you Richard. WOW friend –look at that timer! Excited for you to be reaching the quadruple digits. Glad you are doing well and keeping busy. Thanks for dropping in to give us an update
@mrsodh Oh I’m so sorry Sophia. Just grateful that he was at the hospital and they caught it in time. I hate that they have to send him home early due to lack of workers / beds. Hoping all goes well and no more incidents 
@rosacando We are here with you friend. Yes – connection is so necessary for our journey. Sounds like a conscious choice to break the streak and you are consciously back here with us working on day 1. We got your back Rosa. ODAAT
@juli1 How insane can our minds be? Such tricks and thoughts can be so draining. I saw your post yesterday on the foodie thread and was soo very pleased. Loved that you were able to move past the tendencies and enjoy the meal with no repercussions of guilt afterwards. This is not a set back Jules – it is just part of the healing process. Our healing is not linear and we can’t see a back slide as us going backwards. You are making great leaps ahead. Keep working your recovery and healing 
@laner So sorry that you had such a hard night and woke up with such anxiety. Worse yet that you are unable to shake this anxiety even after trying everything. I am sending you calmness and peace. I do not have any advice on the meds (hopefully someone else will be able to help out with that) It does sound super frustrating that you would have to go so far and buy in bulk to test out a product that may or may not work. I am sorry friend. Are you able to call your counselor before your next session or chat with them through email? I wonder if your discussions yesterday are what is causing you this much discomfort today? Big hugs love — remember that this will pass and that you are not alone
Happy Tuesday
So I woke up feeling like crap but ready to go for the walk … we had active lightening and the prediction was for storms all day. So far not any rain since 5 am and just lightening and some thunder… the prediction keeps moving to it starting in the next hour… this is so frustrating! I don’t mind walking in the rain but now its too late in the morning and I have other shit to get done. I did get in a good hour nap so I guess that is something LOL.
Gonna try to get some loose ends completed today. Body is just not cooperating today so it will be a challenge for sure 
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
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She said I can send her an email if I need to. Yeah I think yesterdays discussion triggered my anxiety. I had bad dreams about what we talked about and then have been very anxious since then. I’ve not had any flashbacks today so thats good at least. And I think some of the anxiety is also me worrying about the medicine.
I think in our next session I will ask for advice on how to cope with feelings of anxiety/nightmares and flashbacks after sessions.
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Day 1819
Had an amazing time on holidays with my daughter last but I would love to go back again sometime without my daughter as there was plenty I’d be interested in doing that my daughter didn’t like like visiting the pyramids but did some pretty cool stuff like swimming with dolphins, we went in a submarine to look a fish 22 metre under the sea and we went to an island where we done some snorkelling 
which was amazing too , it was even better going to a country where alcohol isn’t a big thing and I never seen one person drunk which is a first on holidays 
Anyway back to normal life again and planning my next trip away in October
Hope everyone has a good day 
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Day 70!!! 
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I’m not a doctor, I’m a mental health nurse (but your counselor isn’t either), nor do I know you other than from here. So it’s impossible for me to advice you one way or another. I am curious what kind of meds you’d be getting. Some of 'm are seriously addictive themselves so in that case I’d be worried about having a big stock of 'm.
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I’m glad you’re here friend. We need each other. I’m 100% sure I can’t do it alone. Hugs.
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Day 29. Morning was rough, I had nightmares so I woke up feeling like crap. But I went for a walk and that lifted my mood. I’ve been sleeping a lot, like last night I had 10hrs sleep and I also took a nap in the afternoon. After nap I went for 2hrs walk/run and now I feel balanced, pretty good. I’m gonna make some coffee and read a book for the rest of the evening. No cravings except I WANT potato chips, but because I wanna lose weight, I can’t eat chips. Dammit.
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