Checking in daily to maintain focus #68

Happy birthday, and congratulations on your sober time! :purple_heart:

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Hey all, checking in on day 1515. I hope everybody has a good one :slightly_smiling_face:

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When my drinking was getting really bad, I could no longer drink in the evening because my husband was around, and he wouldnā€™t tolerate it. I worked part-time so I had the ā€œsmartā€ idea on my days off to get drunk in the morning, stop at lunchtime, then sleep it off before he came home. Of course, I would stretch the time later and later. I donā€™t think I ever got away with it. Drinking in the morning really was the beginning of the end. Even though it wasnā€™t drinking in the morning to get rid of the shakes, the crazy logic that I thought made sense is nuts to me now. Sounds like you are realising the craziness of addiction too.

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Day 159

Broken, short sleep but it is one of those summertime things. No wind and 105 highs. Super hot with pollution. Iā€™m up and ready to get on with everything anyway. Itā€™s way better than it used to be! I donā€™t have a hangover during this heat wave. Iā€™ll take advantage of the morning for sure.

Met some new people yesterday that were very nice and easy to talk to. All live nearby. Iā€™ll keep going with this. And how I will simply refuse alcohol with new people. Remembering not to GAF what anyone thinks! I will front load activities and probably avoid going to happy hours for a while. Thatā€™s like the graduate level stuff. Iā€™m determined to figure out how to socialize sober. Not everyone wants to get drunk at those events - just looking for people to hang out with and some live music. Maybe good food. Iā€™ll find them. Eventually. Starting small with daytime stuff for now.

I am sneezing my head off. It frightened the cat :laughing: Poor thing has to go to the vet and Iā€™m scaring her. Ragweed, pollution, 105ā€¦yeahhh! Warrior time haha

@MrsOdh Iā€™ll be checking to see how your husband is getting on. Hope all will be well very soon!

Have a great sober day yā€™all. :heart:

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You sound like you know exactly what happened and what to do next. Glad it hasnā€™t sent you spiraling and you are just moving forward. :purple_heart:

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Unfortunately thatā€™s pretty much how it looks everywhere regarding hospitals, doctors office and elderly homes in Sweden.
People donā€™t want to work there, schedules is horrible, responsibility is to much, paycheck doesnā€™t match the job they are doing, itā€™s always overcrowded, underpayed and under staffed.

In our village we have one doctor for 1500 people. Closets ICU unit is about 1,5 hours away. There is one Closer about 40 mins but our village and the region canā€™t agree so we are not allowed to use it for now.

Schools and daycare is the same mess unfortunately. Those who doesnā€™t work themselves to a burnout usually quit after a year or two.

Not to get political but you canā€™t help thinking about where all our taxes actually goes.
Itā€™s crazy.

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259 sugar
123 UPF
130 gluten
29 dairy
12 overeating

On vacation.

My plans yesterday changed when one of my cousins called and suggested to pick me up as he was driving south to the same place I was planing to go to today.
So I packed my stuff, ditched my plans and had a great road trip yesterday.
Today I already went to an exercise class with my aunt, took a walk into town and am relaxing now in the garden. Later Iā€™ll take a walk to the park.
There is not much of an internet reception here so no online meetings for this week.

Letā€™s keep our hearts open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom :peace_symbol::people_hugging::dove: ODAAT

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Day 1457

There is a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of grading and getting final scores in. Yay! Then I can relax. And try to tidy the house. Again. I am also busy getting various health checks as they are subsidized by my city now I am over 40 and I didnā€™t last year. Some serious adulting going on. I canā€™t help but feel a bit excited about the 4 year milestone coming up. But in the end, it will just be another day, so a bit underwhelming. For year 1 2 and 3 I ordered a coin from a recovery website, but havenā€™t felt the urge this year. I will post on here, and that is about it, I think. Still grateful and happy about it though.

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Day 5

I am working from the office today, yesterday also I was at the office. I feel much better today.
I hope youā€™re having a great day :heart:

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Checking in day 142. Feels like I already did this one :face_with_raised_eyebrow:
Enjoying my time off from work! Keeping busy. Making plans.

Have a great week everyone!

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Hi sober fam! Just checking in.

No more false hope or entitlementā€¦ I intend to give my best to realize my ideal self and lifeā€¦ :seedling::sunflower:

I am gratefulā€¦ :man_in_lotus_position:

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Day 2

Didnā€™t even want a drink yesterday. Just felt disgusted with myself.

Bottled a batch of mead, and had a sip to make sure it was OK, but really just did not want to drink any.

I think, for me, a have a couple of keys:

  1. avoiding the first drink, which to me is like the first in a whole bag of potato chips. Itā€™s actually pretty easy to say no to that first one . . . so I need to maintain discipline about NOT saying to myself: ā€œItā€™ll only be one.ā€

  2. drink something else for boredom. Last time I went dry, I even rewarded myself with energy drinks just so that I could feel like I was drinking something ā€œfunā€ when bored. I also really like tea. I had two cups of herbal teas yesterday.

Hope yaā€™ll have a good day!

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@MrsOdh scary stuff for you all to be going through, really hoping he makes a full recovery :people_hugging:šŸ©µ true friends show up not only in the good times, but the hard times too, Iā€™m glad youā€™ve got one of those friends :blush:
@RosaCanDo Iā€™m sorry the addiction got to you :people_hugging: but Iā€™m so glad you came back here to share and reach out, welcome back šŸ©µ
@Tragicfarinelli congrats on all the 2s :tada: I hope the upcoming reconnecting with your sister goes well šŸ©µ
@stand_like_an_oak congrats on 70 days :tada:
@Mischa84 I love your sense of humour :smile:
@icebear yikes, I canā€™t handle conflict at all so I can relate to that. Sending strength for the rest of their stay šŸ©µ I hope the dentist went okay :crossed_fingers:t2:
@bobtheturnip welcome back :people_hugging: congrats on day 1 :tada:
@tailee17 that is HUGE! so pleased for you šŸ©µ
@Jesile congrats on 2 weeks :tada: I hope your results come back okay :crossed_fingers:t2:
@justKaitlin 24hrs is huge for people like us, she clearly does not have lived experience, and her comment was unnecessary and dismissive. Be proud of your 6 weeks, and congrats :tada:

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@Bomdhil congrats on 2+ weeks :tada:
@Rookie belated happy 60th birthday :birthday: :balloon: :gift: :partying_face: and congrats on celebrating it sober :tada:
@Lighter I hope the vet appointment went okay :crossed_fingers:t2::smiley_cat:
@JazzyS I hope you enjoyed the long-awaited pizza :pizza: and the movie :clapper: and that your pains allowed you to sleep well :sleeping: :crossed_fingers:t2: oh no, seen your update and that is not a nice way to wake up, I hope youā€™ve atleast managed a nap since then :people_hugging:
@DanaM56 that definitely does look ominous! Hope you stayed safe. :crossed_fingers:t2: Enjoy your week off and settling into your new home :house_with_garden: :blush:
@Juli1 sending some compassion your way :people_hugging:šŸ©µ
@SoberWalker such a cute photo, it even has a heart-shaped nose :heart_eyes: I love sheep :sheep: thanks for sharing :blush:
@MrFantastik your days always sound consistently healthy, nothing wrong with that, I aspire to get myself back into the gym again, and I think itā€™s great that your children are active too, keep those check-ins coming! :muscle:t2::grinning:
@Misokatsu I hope your health checks all come back okay :crossed_fingers:t2: I feel quite underwhelmed about the upcoming 4 years AF too, itā€™s just normaility now, but it does still blow my mind at times :exploding_head:

1457 days no alcohol.
922 days no cocaine.
437 days no vape.
10 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

I had a really rough day mentally yesterday. Itā€™s my tenancy inspection tomorrow and I had no commitments yesterday, so I had planned to get all my cleaning done. This in itself is always very triggering because I can just never make myself do it, for all the will in the world! So the longer I couldnā€™t make myself start, the more depressed I became, all I could think about was bingeing crisps and TV, I really thought I wasnā€™t going to make it to double digits. Somehow, towards the end of the day when the Sun started shining around 3pm, my mood lifted, and I was able to do the kitchen, after that I felt much better. I have had 2 appointments this morning and I got home about 3hrs ago. I wanted to check-in here first whilst resting my back, I didnā€™t expect it to take this long :sweat_smile:, but now I need to clean the bathroom, hoover the carpets, and mop the floors, so I am really hoping I can just crack on with it for once, so I donā€™t have to feel how I felt yesterday. Itā€™s the only thing that still makes me think about cocaine, not an urge, just the distant memory of it helping me with such tasks, but I know very well that it stopped working a long long time ago, and all it has to offer now is death, so thatā€™s just not an option.

šŸ©µ

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Day 2329. Last day of work before a little camping trip. Initially I was super excited for this one. It was just Ms. Monkey and I. Looks like grandbaby on friday, visitors on Saturday.

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@MrFantastik I do love your check inā€™s (sometimes the same routine is what we need - especially during the early stages of sobriety. I am going on 19+ months and still think of me as early sobriety LOL). As long as you are having fun and happy ā€“ thats all that matters :hugs:
@bomdhil Love seeing you check in daily Thomas ā€“ keep up the fantastic work :muscle:
@mrsodh That does suck big time and it is similar here with not enough workers / staff but not having an ICU unit closer than even 40 min is scary. 1.5 hours away - sorry love. Glad that he is being looked after and they are monitoring him. Hoping for good results soon :pray:
@acromouse My goodness - this is sounding like a fantastic vacation. So very happy for you and all that you are able to enjoy / experience :heart:
@misokatsu WOW - 4 years coming up in a matter of days is awesome Flo. I can understand that it may feel like just another day but I know how much work and effort you have put into this (same amount that you put in for year 3, 2 and even 1. It may not be as hard as the initial start of sobriety but you are pushing forward and living your life on lifeā€™s terms and not using alcohol as a coping mechanism. I am glad you will post here so we can celebrate this amazing milestone with you :hugs: As for the chip - that is a personal touch for yourself to see your achievement. Hopefully you will do something to mark the big day :wink:
@1in8billion Great to see you friend. Glad you are here with a positive motivated intention to do your best ā€“ that is all we can do. Lets kick addictions ass together :muscle:
@bobtheturnip Great work on staying clear of the alcohol - glad you are at the stage of not wanting a drink. Stay vigilant and yes do replace with refreshing non alcoholic beverages ā€“ i was drinking so many La Croix at the beginning. ODAAT!
@catmancam Thanks friend ā€“ no nap yet ā€“ the day has been a crazy startā€¦ hoping to expunge some of this energy LOL. Congrats on your double digits of no binge-eating! Especially proud of this after the emotional day you had yesterday. Glad you got stuff started and do hope that you are able to knock out the rest with ease today. Glad you know that cocaine canā€™t offer anything worthy now and you are so much better off without it. Much love friend.

Checking in on Wednesday morning
Good lord! Did not sleep much at all and woke up in so much pain. Managed to do my walk (a slower pace but still got in 5 miles). Went to the pool afterwards - really looking forward to a dip and some laps and OMG ā€“ i saw something movingā€¦ This part of the pool is still somewhat dark as the sun hasnā€™t come up fully ā€” upon further inspection i saw that it was a tiny lobster or a craw fish or something along those lines. As I stood stunned I saw another one coming towards me. DUDE ā€“ i freaked and jumped out so quick. I then counted a total of 10 before i gave up trying to find em. I go early before the pool officially opens so it was hard to find someone to come help. I had a net but nothing to put them in or how to transport them as I had walked to the pool. After an hour I got someone to come and finally another hour to get them out and cleaned up and not sure where they will be taken. What an awful prank! Some people are just down right assholes! I am not happy with humanity today. Hope the bromine in the pool did not fuck em up and they are ok.
So - iā€™m gonna try to do a work out and possibly get back to the pool later (even in the heat) cause my body needs some water stretching and a good swim :laughing:

Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love :heart: heart:

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Today has been good so far. I love watching the Olympics so that is what Iā€™m doing. The heat broke and itā€™s a beautiful day. Perfect temps, not too humid, clear skies. Iā€™ll take my pup out in a bit for a nice walk. Good stuff.

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Had a dream I drank last night and missed this milestone. Luckily I didnā€™t slip up in real life and am 122 days/4 months sober.

This transition to a new school for my 2 youngest is not going as smoothly as I had hoped, so the stress level is high. But Iā€™ll remain sober today.

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Checking in on the milestone of 1 month, yay! This day has been pretty good despite of some stressful shit I have in my life. But I try to stay positive and trust on the universe; everythingā€™s gonna be allrite in the end. I decided to quit drinking coffee because Iā€™m addicted to it and I donā€™t need any addictions in my life, I donā€™t feel good when I need to drink coffee because my body and brains needs it. Iā€™m better without it. I took a morning walk and later day a longish run/walk. Life feels pretty good despite of the stress. I hope yaā€™ll have a great day/evening/night!

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125 days sober
Today was better. I still had anxiety but it was pretty low. In the afternoon I went to the orphanage again to see the kids. We played football which Iā€™m terrible at but itā€™s fun kicking the ball around with them. Iā€™m arranging to bring the kids on a picnic next week. I just need to find transport for everyone. I felt good again when I left. I did a lot of work after and then brought food and buckets of water to my neighbors. I only stayed for a quick tea together but was good to check in with them. Am hoping for a good sleep tonight.

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