@JazzyS thank you my dear friend
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Ewwww! Here too! Brutal and Iām staying in. Grateful for air conditioning. Stay cool!
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@CATMANCAM thank you so much. Crisps are also very triggering for me in my binge food addiction
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Touring some apartments on Tues. Nervous but excited too! Iām ready to live alone but getting everything done and all the packing and unpacking is going to be a lot of work. Luckily I have a lot of support who can help me move all my stuff from the group home and my parents home to the new place. Iām still at the touring phase so Iām trying to take it easy and not get ahead of myself. But all good things coming for me!
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Solid advice 
It really has to be done every single time! Stop it in itās tracks before it has the chance to progress. Itās always lurking, awaiting that perfect moment of disillusion. We canāt ever let our guard down 
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Thank you for wise and kind words, my friend. Indeed, past is past and we have this great new, sober life. Awesome!
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@zzz Hey friend ā that is super cool ā have fun with your gig. Your band looks cool! You will do awesome playing your music sober 
@wakikki That is an awesome way to celebrate your quadruple digits. Have you come up with what you will get? Very excited! Hope you are doing better 
Just saw the update ā that will be cool tat
@refreshedperspective Iām sorry friend ā 46 days is amazing progress and I do hope that you can feel proud of that. I wish you luck with the dinner. It ok to protect your sobriety. Great work on planning ahead and staying clear of your triggers. Here if you need to talk. Hope you are able to feel better
@rob11 So very grateful that you were able to get to the meeting and connect with someone. So grateful that you were able to overcome that fuck mode and keep your sobriety in tact 
Do you know what led to this fuck it mode? Sending you strength my friend
@bomdhil OOH yeah ā 16 days 
Way to go friendā¦ heat exhaustion can be brutal ā sorry that you are dealing with it. Hope you are able to find ways to stay cool
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Checking in sober. Was tempted to call out of work today. I really struggled to get going this morning and started crying on my drive to work. But I made myself focus on that one next thing. One thing at a time. Just like ODAAT. Canāt solve all my issues all at once. But whatās the thing I can do first. Get out of bed. Go downstairs. Make coffee. Feed the cats. And so on. I often wake up in the middle of the night stressing about things. I have to remind myself that in reality, I canāt do anything about any of it at 2am. What I can do is rest. Thatās the first thing.
And Iām not going to drink today. Thatās all that I can control right now. Canāt solve tomorrow today. Rinse and repeat. OFDAAT
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Yep, a visit to my parents. There is nothing there, I had to much hope. They will not change, I try to approach them lovingly, but thatās damn hard.
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sorry friend ā our family can be our biggest triggers. I am sorry that the situation isnāt better. Glad you were able to find a way out of the mode and keep your sobriety
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Hey all,
Ive was upnorth with no internet and finally connected 
Missed you folks and getting to read the check ins but also had a really wonderful and busy time
I got uninvited to my dads (a very last minute scheduling mix up on his part), and have still not seen this new cottage he bpught two years ago. I am not welcome by anyone in his family, but was told by him to book a week or two and we can come. Had planned for months to go there then straight to my aunts, as its a 6 hour drive for us and their cottages are on the same body of water. Last minute my dad cancelled our visit, but my Aunt told us to come early so we spent a whole week there with my Aunt, mom and nephew. Hubby took off for his boys cottage weekend and I drove my mom and the 3 kids to her house. Would be lying if i said all of this stuff with my dads family hasnt been playing on my head and heart, but it is what it is and I didnt create this situation. I have to do what is best for me and my little family, they are my priority as is my mom and nephew.
Here for a few days then the long drive hone with my 2 kids. Thinking of findinf a spot along the way to run and have some fun but will have to do some research. For now just want to enjoy the nexr few days here and support my mom and nephew as he goes on his first overnight to his new home.
Sendinf everyone hugs and love. Xo. One darn day at a time xoxo.
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Checking in 9m19d
Holy fucking Jesus, what a month ā¦
So, just to preface - This was NOT! What I was expecting! I committed to this job I was at for 3 months. I didnāt expect much but I expected to at least make a dent in some of the issues they had but my God, I have never been met with such disregard for industry standards in all my career. I mean, everytime I took two days off, the owner who claimed to have 40 years of chef experience would go into the kitchen and turn it into a death trap. Allergenic food contamination EVERYWHERE - kitchen not cleaned down from the night before, flies all over the place, it was disgusting! Restraint of tongue and pen goes right out the window for me when I see someone actively harming other people and not giving a shit about it when called out. It was foul - without doubt the worst owner/manager I have ever worked for. There were initial red flags for me plus an entire staff of people telling me all sorts but truth be told, Iād just lost my home and the only way I could go back to my parents was to take a job - any job and while this seemed like a bit of a challenge, it was fucked from the get-go.
I lost my shit during service and the owner and told her exactly what I thought and walked out. After a meeting with her and her HR person, I couldnāt believe what I was hearingā¦ The fact that her kitchen was a death trap wasnāt important to them, just the fact that I reacted the way I did. You do not have to spend 18 years in professional kitchens to know that you cannot re-freeze shellfish, cook it and serve it - And worse still, she said it was me that did it ā¦ I hadnāt been there for 2 fucking days!!
So, I made the decision that I simply could not help this person anymore because they couldnāt help themselves, wouldnāt follow the law, industry protocol, health and safety/environmental health coding and didnāt give a shit who they hurt and on top of that, she has told people their on the books but when we checked with the tax office, no tax has been paid and we all show as āno current employmentā.
I was out and in a new job in 24 hours - the place im at now has 2 AA rosettes, itās clean, itās organised, the head chef has excellent standards and is completely transparent - helpful, honest, principled and he even took on an apprentice at my request who was being essentially used and abused by the aforementioned owner who funnily enough, used to work for this head chefā¦ turns out, she hasnāt changed a bit.
Thank fucking god that people like her always get caught. If ever you walk into a food establishment and thereās a chef sat outside in their whites, turn around and walk out.
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That is something I have done in the past. Start thinking Iāve got this, everything is fine now and not like it used to be. Even after 6 years sober it IS like it used to be. I didnāt go down hard immediately, my tolerance was nil but it built up within a couple of months. Within a few months I was back to regular binge drinking, and not seeing a problem with it. Terrifying, because it took me another 10 years to put together anything more than a month or two. I told myself I didnāt want to be in a special group for people with problems. Hmmā¦ 
No, never ever forget! Iām so lucky I made it back at all. 
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Sounding good, Julia! Exciting to be approaching a year 
. Glad you shared some the joy with us!
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Wowā¦ just wow! Thats absolutely horrific! Putting peoples health in danger like that. Im glad u found a new job. Something that is a better fit. I hope she gets caught sooner than later.
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Wow, aināt this the truth!
I am glad to report back that I had a wonderful time with my friend, both sober and full of laughs. He really took the news well that I couldnt come along to the party coming up and was so understanding.
Now back home, not groggy and looking forward to a nice sleep. Thank you for your support
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I love this 
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Sounding good. OFDAAT for sure. Early on, laterā¦itās all we can handle, really. The 2 am stuff usually involves a different, non-today day. So this works! Rest easy if you can.
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Checking in on day 89. Doing well. Talking with some people about addiction. One couple has never had alcohol as they feel addiction runs in their family so they didnāt want to go down that road. I loved how they felt about their decision and telling others, loud and proud so to speak. I feel very proud about not drinking just not so loud, lol. But Iāll get there.
Have a great day/night everyone.
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