126 days sober
I fell during my hike this morning and hurt my arm. It’s sore and swollen since then. It doesn’t feel broken but am a bit concerned about it. Have been resting it today and putting ice on it. I’m feeling stressed.
Otherwise today’s been okay. I ended up staying in and working on the new translation. Making good progress on it so far.
The road out of town is closed for the next 2 days or so. Once its open if my arm is still swollen and feeling bad I’ll go to the capital to have an x-ray done.
Will get some sleep soon. Hope everyone is having a good sober day.
@karenkw Oh i’m sorry to hear about your recent bout with the flu and Covid. Sending healing and energy vibes your way. Big hugs love – hope you are able to talk with your therapist to help you through the depression @jules000 Yeah to having some good days – i loved this post! OOH – a good alignment can be painful but so worth it – hope you are feeling better now and past the pain @scorpn He brought them in and they had babies Yeah – i don’t know about that. No scream but I did jump quickly So glad that you did not go in on your day off – Super proud t see you standing up for yourself! OOH so sweet – your daughters first date So sweet! Wishing you luck with the new job (in getting your schedule) and putting in the application as a good back up @danam56 Hope you are able to ice / stretch / heat the back and start feeling better soon Yeah to getting your sofa today @sarath_unrelax Great work on 8 days friend. Wishing you luck with working and implementing the program. I know it sucks not having the energy and motivation to do what we want to do – you will get this back. Give it time. The early days of sobriety take a lot out of us and we need time for our body / mind to regulate itself I see your updated post is 6 hours ago – hope you were able to stay vigilant and keep away from that 1 beer – never a good idea to give in … that 1 leads to destruction. @1in8billion So very glad to have you back with us and really appreciate your kind words! I am sorry that you have been going through so much – just know that you are still standing and getting stronger as you find the answers through self-analysis. This process is not easy in any sense. So many think that sobriety just means not partaking in the DOC but its sooo much more. We have to rewire our ways of being – of thinking – of feeling. Its crazy that all our learned behavior is no longer useful and we have to start from scratch all the while still living as “adults” in society. This is where connection is necessary. We have to be reminded in our daily lie that we are not alone. That what we are going through is normal and will pass. That we are strong enough to overcome this addiction. Hope that cold shower helped. I did manage a better nights sleep – wishing this for the both of us Glad you are starting to feel good again. IT takes time for us to feel like ourselves again. Just know that you are doing your best – you are giving it your all and you will find your road back to you! @jesile That damn moderation! Why does our mind trick us into thinking we have it “this time”? So glad that you are back on track with a new counter. You have not lost the previous time but are starting with new fresh intentions today! Wishing you a wonderful day 1 and don’t let the disappointment eat at you! @avior87 Way to go with your double digits – glad it went quickly for you. Stay vigilant my friend. ODAAT @mrsodh Oh so glad he is home Sorry to hear about his spinal cyst. The body is so insane with developing cysts and creating so many other problems. I honestly didn’t know how this was even possible until I started to go through it. I am relieved that he is out of the high risk for strokes stage but sorry that he is in so much pain.
@catmancam Thanks Cam – that was a terrifying experience for sure. I am glad too that they were rescued and hope they are somewhere safe. A friend did change my way of thinking about the situation as I was so mad at the Asshole that would do something like this but my friend said that maybe a kid was setting them free from a fishing tackle box huh – i do like thinking this rather than the former. So glad you were able to get everything done and your inspection went well Grateful that your back is also better – hope you have fun with getting your hair cut.
I do love this and I totally understand about having to remind yourself of these things as we do tent to forget. But for today – this is a great mindset to have ! Glad you were able to get your mom’s eye checked out – hope the inflammation subsides soon
I like this for you. Especially with the newborn at home… wishing you luck with the renovations. @vanessa8 Thanks love! Appreciate this community and am honored to be here with you all Wow 123 days – love the sequence. Digging deep can be good but also can wear you out emotionally / mentally. Be prepared for what may unravel. Know you are not alone and remind yourself of your accomplishments. Keep pushing forward @laner OOH sorry to hear about your fall. I am glad that your arm is not broken but do keep it iced and monitored. The road out is closed? OMG! Well – hope all is well with your arm and you don’t need to go anywhere. Sending healing vibes your way.
Checking in on Thursday morning
I actually got some good sleep but now feel like I need so much more
Did do my walk and swim this morning. No Crawdads in the pool today LOL. A lady did stop by the pool to say hi and that she was a fellow swimmer. Said that she noticed me swimming daily and wanted to tell me I was a really good swimmer. This comment made my day as I am self taught and super conscious of my swimming style.
I am feeling drained and exhausted so will try to nap – tried earlier but my mind wouldn’t shut off LOL – will try again.
Hope you all have a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
Checking in on day 1
Second check-in of the day… work has been annoying today, or better said: I was annoyed! It’s 8:00 pm here, so this day is almost over.
Been checking out AA groups in my area, there is a weekly meeting quite close, so I will check that out. I just attended an online zoom meeting, but I’m not sure if that’s gonna be my thing. We’ll see, for the moment I will keep joining. Have a good day everyone!
Day 907
Morning everyone! Just checking in. Have a few things to do this afternoon so im just getting ready for that. Not alot going on otherwise. Have a great day everyone!
Wow. So it looks like our new band having a gig at the end of this month! I did not played for 14 years. That is big to me. I remember always playing drunk or intoxicated. Have a bit of stage anxiety, but no way I want to run away from this in any shape or form. I am going all the way!
“Party at the Mechanic’s Fazenda” is an evening of relaxation for young and old. New fashions are born here, fresh underground music sounds. As the sun sets romantically, individuals sit under apple trees. Dressed up in an original way, they show creativity. Extraordinary Personalities not killed by the System meet here.
We are happy to announce that on August 31, 2024, the fourteenth “Party at the Mechanic’s Fazenda” will take place.
Will play:
ARTHRITIS
ZERO POINT FIELD
SYKOFREAK
HxWxDxHx
VIKSHRUPI
BRKOCH
Start at 18:00
Entrance at 10 Eur
ARTHRITIS - thrash’ists.
ZERO POINT FIELD - grunge quartet.
SYKOFREAK is a nu metal band with 8 members now;
the rhyming section was strengthened, symphonic and industrial sounds appeared in the music.
VxLxKxKx - goregrind legend from Kaunas, fashion dictators.
VIKŠRUPIS is a debuting grind band.
BRKOCH is a debuting industrial collective.
Day 46 - having a bit of a low day if I’m being totally honest. Some temptation reading it’s head, but taking shape in some depression I would say.
I have a dinner with a friend tonight which will be nice, but I am also in a way dressing it because I will be telling him I cannot come to a party I previously committed to because of it being a triggering environment for me.
I don’t know why really but I seem to be forgetting the progress I’ve made and just feel down in the dump
Checking in, day 31. Today has been a good day. I took a 2.5hrs walk in the nature and ate healthy vegan food. Feeling light and pure. I can’t even realize anymore how many years, decades I’ve been living in a pure ignorant hell. But luckily it’s never too late to change. ODAAT.
Closest to drinking in 1328 days. Going to a meeting saved my ass, f*ck it mode was in reach. Grateful for the fellow who took me for a little walk during the meeting.
Oh, I’m sorry, and I get it! Had a little of that type of feeling this week. Remember it’s addiction. It’s not always a big event or problem that starts the thoughts. Sometimes that addictive voice will try to wrap itself in an otherwise pleasant event, like meeting a good friend for a pleasant meal. We usually drank at these types of events, just like non-events. And now there is this sentimental feeling about such a pleasant night with a warm (poisonous !!) glow. But if you stop and break down how these nights actually went, it doesn’t match the lie that voice tells us. Not even close.
Did I ever have a good evening with a friend eating dinner and drinking? Yeah, maybe a couple times. Like many years ago. And how did I feel the next day? Like crap. Even on the glowy, very rare types of drinking evenings with where I truly enjoyed myself …. Was it the whole time, or for an hour? Did the evening start out nice but deteriorate once we were drunk? Yes. Did I stay up late and sleep poorly? Yes. Cottonmouth at 3 am? Yes. Did I feel like hot garbage the whole next day, and sometimes multiple days? Yes. Did I actually wish I didn’t the next day? YES. Were there crappy parts of the evening that I can’t see in the romantic version, like my friend vomiting or a very boring story repeated by me or others. Did someone burn themselves cooking or accidentally burn themselves with a cigarette when drunk? Did anyone drive while intoxicated? Straight up- someone could have been killed, badly injured or gone to jail. After four or five drinks. On a pleasant night. Alcohol does not care if you had a nice dinner. Someone usually drives on these nights. Stuff like that.
We leave all that out when the dream takes over. The lie. The sometimes pretty and always monstrous lie. That it has something to add. It never does. What makes the evening wonderful is you and your friend together, enjoying a meal. Not the alcohol, it only subtracts. I need to be honest when I start thinking about the new friends I’ve made in sobriety that are ‘normies’. I’ve already had that dreamy feeling that we could have a little wine in the backyard while grilling. What? Is that true it would be like that? NO!!! I don’t have ‘a little’ wine. Never have. Lies. Gonna check myself every time I romanticize drinking! Be honest about what really happens when you drink and it helps. We’re not here for no reason.
I will meet these people sober and have a good time. I’m so much sharper and will not make an ass of myself. And can get in my car and go anytime. This life is better. Sending you hugs and support Thank you for this great post.
@MrMoustache Yup, the ignorance. But no use wasting more time kicking ourselves, it’s past and we’ve got this great new life. Best place to spend mental energy. Good to remind ourselves why we don’t want to go back there, then enjoy. Big hugs, you’re doing so well and it makes me smile
Touring some apartments on Tues. Nervous but excited too! I’m ready to live alone but getting everything done and all the packing and unpacking is going to be a lot of work. Luckily I have a lot of support who can help me move all my stuff from the group home and my parents home to the new place. I’m still at the touring phase so I’m trying to take it easy and not get ahead of myself. But all good things coming for me!
It really has to be done every single time! Stop it in it’s tracks before it has the chance to progress. It’s always lurking, awaiting that perfect moment of disillusion. We can’t ever let our guard down
Yeah – i don’t know about that. No scream but I did jump quickly 
So glad that you did not go in on your day off – Super proud t see you standing up for yourself! OOH so sweet – your daughters first date 
So sweet! Wishing you luck with the new job (in getting your schedule) and putting in the application as a good back up 
I see your updated post is 6 hours ago – hope you were able to stay vigilant and keep away from that 1 beer – never a good idea to give in … that 1 leads to destruction.
huh – i do like thinking this rather than the former. So glad you were able to get everything done and your inspection went well Grateful that your back is also better – hope you have fun with getting your hair cut.
!!) glow. But if you stop and break down how these nights actually went, it doesn’t match the lie that voice tells us. Not even close.
Thank you for this great post.
. It’s the heat
