It is so hard to keep myself awake long enough to get my little one down.
Since I have been working early, I have been able to get her up most days at 10. Or at least before 11.
But today I went to work at 10 and wasn’t home until after 3, so her father let her sleep in till noon
Every time I get her on a decent schedule, he lets her sleep late and then she isn’t tired at bedtime.
Tomorrow I don’t have to work until 3, so I guess I should stay up later so I don’t fall asleep halfway through my shift. But I’m having a hard time.
I have to fix another pipe soon as I’ve found a rusted out spot on the exhaust part of the plumbing not sure what the cost is, but it doesn’t look like a cheap fix.
I couldn’t keep my disdain of the new, no longer borrowed, second store manager out of my voice or off of my face today.
I didn’t say anything disrespectful, but I definitely was extra short with her and mostly ignored her all day (I did speak when spoken to, but thats all) and today she picked with a 2 year partner, and they put in a 2 weeks notice. She is the 7th one in the last 2 weeks! Our store only has 18-20 people to begin with and almost half of them have quit or will be gone by the end of the month.
i don’t understand how the regular store manager doesn’t get the connection…
I was off early enough, so I took the girls to the playground and took one of them to work. And then went to the grocery store and bought the food my daughter wanted to cook for dinner.
I helped make the food and hung out with the kids while I waited for the phone call to say I’m ready to be picked up, my shift is over.
That was almost 2 hours ago and not long before my little ones regular bedtime. But as it stands…she’s running back and forth, getting into stuff because she isn’t tired. And I’m frustrated.
Everything will be ok…this too will pass. I just need to find a way to calm myself down
Just woke up, slept little more than 6 hours, which is below my expectations. I did run yesterday and it keeps happening on days with trainings even not that intensive ones. Just can’t fall asleep after 2200 which is my usual time. So, I won’t go to bed that early on these days and will fill those days or time until noon with reading, hot bath etc. Happy there is a coffee😂 have a great day
My weekend’s here. First going over to my therapist for another emdr session. I don’t really feel like it but sometimes you have to do what is right and this is the right thing to go and do it. Afterwards I have to take Luna to the vet for her solensia shot. We don’t like that either but it has to be done. It’ll be OK. After that I it’s home and watch some more Olympics. Eat a good meal. Relax. Breathe.
It’s grey and there’s some rain about. Maybe that helps in feeling a bit down this morning. There’s nothing obvious wrong really. So I’ll kick myself in the ass and make this as good a day as I can and expect the same from all of you. Sober and clean of course. Love.
Morning check-in
Feeling much better today than yesterday! I slept like a baby, and woke up feeling good this morning. I’m trying to focus on living in the here and now, and not to dwell on the shame and guilt of my past actions. Off to work now!
@Lighter oh gosh, I’m so terrified of wasps! but I’m glad you’ve got people coming to take care of them in a gentle way 🩵 @Laner ouch! I’m sorry about your arm, it sounds very painful, definitely a good plan to have an x-ray done to be sure it’s not broken 🩵 @JazzyS thank you 🩵 aww what a nice compliment @zzz this is so cool! @Refreshedperspective I hope the dinner went okay and that your friend was supportive sending strength 🩵 just seen your update and I’m happy your friend took it well and you enjoyed your evening @Rob11 grateful that you chose the meeting over the drink @Mira_D I hope your nephew’s overnight goes well @JuliaLuna congrats on all the 3s and your week nicotine-free @DresdenLaPage ew! Sorry it turned out that way, but grateful you’re somewhere much better now, and so quickly too @wahtisnormal I’m glad you enjoyed your trip but I’m sorry you had to say goodbye to someone you developed feelings for 🩵
@Butterflymoonwoman ugh, I’m sorry you travelled all that way then had a last minute cancellation but I’m proud of you for being assertive. I hope you can get a new appt asap @Just_Laura I hope your pains settle once you’ve slept 🩵 @Scorpn sending calming vibes 🩵
1459 days no alcohol.
924 days no cocaine.
439 days no vape.
12 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Not much to write today, feeling peaceful since the inspection was over yesterday, slept quite well. I have therapy at 1pm. Before that I will meditate, read, and do my morning routine.
Im new here and taking each day as it comes. I face temptation every minute it feels like! Im annoyed that I feel like I cant be present or do basic tasks or enjoy life without it.
Im trying my hardest for my health to stay sober, the mornings and nights are the hardest.
Welcome Sarah!!! Congrats on making it through day 1 and reaching day 2. Day 1 is the hardest by far. Done that. Now on you go! Coming here can be a great help. Hope to see more of you, learning, sharing, supporting and getting support. Read around and get to know the place. Wishing you all succes on your sober journey. It will get better when you put in the time and the work. We’re in this together and that’s why this works. Big hugs.
I’m here, I’m alive, I’m sober and I’m happy.
Day 163
Still can’t stop smiling because my husband is back home.
Had my morning coffee out on the stairs today, dreaming about that porch. Hopefully we can get it done before Halloween. It would be so much fun decorating it for Halloween, and even for Christmas.
It’s another rainy day, they’ve harvested everything except the oat here. Kids School starts in 10 days. It’s Impossible to not get fall vibes.
251 days
Good day today.
Wifes gone to work and kids are in bed. Glad I’m no longer drinking as times like this would have been no good
Thanks @Lighter and @Just_Laura . I’ve been reading your conversation about your experiences going back to drinking then not finding a way back for a long time. It’s something that I’ve been wary of so its good to read your thoughts on it and agree it is scary.
After yesterday’s hiking in the storm adventures I want to give cycling a try, hoping for less rain. Weather right now looks good.
This is my last day in Kudowa. Tomorrow I’ll be traveling back to Wrocław and need to do some prepping in the afternoon.
Let’s keep our hearts open friends: in peace, kindness and freedom ODAAT
@MrFantastik Your welcome Believe me when I tell you, it’s no lie when they say it only takes one. One was all I had that first day, but that’s all it took to open the floodgates. If I never had that one, I could be closing in on 5 years sober soon. I don’t like to think about that bc it’s a one way ticket to the fantasy land of ‘what if’, and I belong right here.
Dumb, stupid insomnia check in
I can’t believe I’m still awake right now to respond, it’s almost 6am! Wait…yes I can. Wtf is happening with my sleep?! I’ve never had insomnia like this. Or really at all. I only got up bc I was hungry after laying in bed for 4 hours. Trying to fall asleep apparently burns calories. I probably shouldn’t’ve picked up my phone, but I didn’t want to turn anything brighter on. And I’m actually feeling tired now after having a banana and some milk. Maybe I need to start eating a bit before bed I’m glad I slept so much yesterday. Maybe it’ll even out, haha (no). One thing I do know for sure is, no matter how shitty I feel tomorrow, it won’t top a hangover, and it won’t convince me I need a drink to get thru my day Ew, the damn sun’s about to come up. Back to bed for a tiny while
I think I will have odaat, and I dont know if i put in some more there: like sobrity triangel or something. Not sure yet. And I think Im going to have it on my foot
I can’t catch up on this thread and I’m not happy about it.
Here? All fine. I’m 2 weeks into tampering my antidepressants, 2 weeks more and I’m done with them completely. All fine until now.
I have some romanticising thoughts about getting drunk today. I will not drink, no chance, but I feel kind of sad today that I can’t. My life is much much better without alcohol in it. I’m totally happy with my sobriety, proud of myself and don’t want to go back and yet still missing this shit sometimes. Not gonna drink today tho. Tomorrow most probably also.
@sarath_unrelax It takes a while. As a teacher, I was always leaving admin til the last minute, just following the textbook, forgetting students’ names, when I was drinking. It took months or even a year, but I started getting more organized, creative and involved, just naturally as I stopped being in survival mode. I’m sure it will happen for you too.
@1in8billion I hear exactly what you were saying. When drinking I was running away from myself, sober I realized I didn’t really know myself. And as I knew myself there were things I didn’t like, and needed to work on. Progress not perfection.
@Jesile I did that so many times. My ability to believe I can have “just one” was absurd. It does stick eventually.
not sure what the cost is, but it doesn’t look like a cheap fix.
but I’m glad you’ve got people coming to take care of them in a gentle way 🩵
I’m sorry about your arm, it sounds very painful, definitely a good plan to have an x-ray done to be sure it’s not broken 
🩵
🩵 aww what a nice compliment 
and your week nicotine-free 
🩵
but I’m proud of you for being assertive. I hope you can get a new appt asap 
ODAAT
Believe me when I tell you, it’s no lie when they say it only takes one. One was all I had that first day, but that’s all it took to open the floodgates. If I never had that one, I could be closing in on 5 years sober soon. I don’t like to think about that bc it’s a one way ticket to the fantasy land of ‘what if’, and I belong right here.
I’m glad I slept so much yesterday. Maybe it’ll even out, haha (no). One thing I do know for sure is, no matter how shitty I feel tomorrow, it won’t top a hangover, and it won’t convince me I need a drink to get thru my day 
Ew, the damn sun’s about to come up. Back to bed for a tiny while 
