Day 268. Passed my 6 month mark at work, was happy about that. I really love my job, but i can say the pushing, shoving and taking advantage of is getting tiring. I know i cant say anything bc i can already tell my boss doesnt care. Yesterday she came and pulled me from my 26 rooms i had to clean bc her other 5 dc people were busy and i know for a fact they werent. She pulled me about 1230 anf rudely asked so what else do you have left like i was supposed to be done. Idk what sucks the most is the minute i express myself or get snippy back im the one who is in the wrong. So idk just taking things a day at a time and moving on. I did order myself a nice little toy for the milestone and plus my 9 months of sobriety is soon. So yayyy much love
Day 133.
Welp, so much for being more active on here I guess. 
Not to worry though, my sobriety is still very much intact. Just in night shift mode at the moment. 
Meaning a new rythm and a new challenge for me personally. Nothing too challenging though.
Honestly the biggest challange for me personally
is the relationship between me and a friend of mine who revently discovered that she has substance abuse issues as well.
I donāt want to go into too much detail since she might be lurking here and I canāt be sure if she actually blocked my profile like I asked.
All Iām willing to say is that I am not going to deny anybody help with their problems but not at the price of my own well being.
The thing I am most proud of lately is putting up boundaries. And as much as I like her as a person, this is something our relationship desperately needed to keep it healthy for me.
These are the most important news at the moment.
Iāve been invited to a wedding in late august and Iām excited to take my vacation there. 
I hope everyone else had a pleasant week and I have to admit that Iāve missed the people on here. 
Take care everybody and thanks for sticking with this lengthy post^^
Day 97 
Feel like Iām not real today.
Been triggered into an episode that making me feel dizzy and sick and totally dissociated from myself.
Am glad I know what is happening and I can recognise it - makes it that bit easier.
I want to just lay in bed curled up but Iām not letting myself. I have taken a propranolol prescribed from drs thatās non addictive just waiting to see if it helps really donāt want to take anything stronger - also prescribed but rather keep to minimum that helps.
I hope I can flip this day around.
Already been In the garden with pets and for long walk. I know whatās triggered me and its something I could not avoid no matter what.
And it will be like this on and off this month particularly.
Keep crying and I hope it eventually makes me feel better for letting it out but yh ā¦ I need this to pass and not last too long itās debiltating to the point I canāt move and just stare at the wall so came here to get it out and sat on the arm chair instead of bed. Try help myself.
Hope everyone is doing okay 
Edit ; I think the propranolol is helping me enough to pick up the hoover and do something actively physical.
Then cook some meat for wraps later. When I have done all that then I can curl up and put the TV on and just rest my mind and body. This is how I help myself right now in this moment - hoover!
Day 4.
Had a small glass of wine last night, and thatās all it was. I feel good that I was able to keep it at that.
Tonight is date night with wife. Looking forward to her, and not the alchohol.
Hoping ur able to pull out of that state my friend hugs Will this be an ongoing trigger for the month? Did i read that correctly? Hope ur day improves and hope that medication helps
Day 412. Staying focused. On call over night then off for a week. All good. Today working 7am till tomoro 9am which seems ridiculous
Day 908
14 years cigarette free
Last night i took some time before bed to really have a 1 on 1 with my HP. I cried. I asled for help bcuz honestlyā¦ im not doing as good as id like to be. Not with regards to my recovery but it has more to do with my daily living and living life.
I realized something else last night during this conversation with my HP. I was completely vulnerable and opened up during that time to what was really bothering me and being that vulnerable for a change made me realize that i often put on a front that everything is all well and good! Im not being authentic when i act as if i dont need help or that nothing is wrong. Sure i talk about stuff that annoys me but for the most part i feel like im a generally positive, upbeat person. And thats great! But at the same time i think i do this bcuz i try to act like nothing is wrong and that Im strong and okay.
Anyway, i felt so good during prayer last night. Today im going to start my morning with more prayer and then go about my day. My son and I have to go to Walmart to exchange some clothes and then once home, Ill clean. Hope u all have a great day! 
Checkingbin on day
457 no alcohol
388 no vapes or ciggs (thank goodness) 97 no form of nicotine
57 no form of marijuanna
Im very happy today
My wife let me get new headphone. <3
My other headphones went through the wash and always shut off in the middle of listening. Also couldnāt hold a charge.
Mynnee headphones mean i can quietly listen to more meeting online
G2 get back to work
Take care
127 days sober
Todays been a day. My arm is really bothering me. It hurts but am mostly annoyed that it gets in the way of things I want to be doing. Iāll go to the city the day after tomorrow to get it looked at.
My friend hung around today and filled my buckets of water for me. Then we visited my neighbors for tea. They are the ones who recently had a death in the family. Was good to sit with the ladies and just chat with them. I am also stressing out over my toiletā¦Iāve slowly been digging a new one and need to finish it before the snow comes. But canāt do that with my arm jacked up. Iām worried about my current one falling overā¦itās looking more and more unstable. I might need to hire someone to finish it for me but itāll cost me a sheep or two. 
Hope everyone is having a good day and staying sober!
This from your share three days ago: I know that the first drink is my āgatewayā to just . . . not stopping.
As it is for us all Bob. We canāt have just one. If we could we wouldnāt be here. We lost control and weāre never going to find it back. Small glasses, big glasses, it doesnāt matter. We either drink or we donāt. Wishing you success.
Sorry for that zzz. No physical damage right? Success in dealing with the police and the rest. Be safe friend.
14 Years no smoking!!! Thatās huge Dana!!! Incredible stuff!! Congrats!!!
Day 161
All good here on Friday morning. Iāve had a decent week, and today is the best because I slept a full night! 
. I so love sleep.
Excited about my trip next weekend, and everything that is happening here. The landscape people are starting work Monday on my front yard hardscape. Iāve never done this before so itās exciting. Especially when the plants go in next month. Theyāre going to extend the existing beds, put in some rocks and stuff Monday. Even that will be a huge improvement! My grass died last summer, and itās really too shady to re-sod. Xeriscape it will be! Going for drip irrigation instead of watering weeds and dirt.
Feeling all content and having a couple days at home. Iāve been looking at pueblos to visit, and things Iāll do downtown in Santa Fe. Might have to set a budget. I love the pottery and jewelry, paintings and rugs. Need a plan or Iām in trouble 
. I also want to go up on a mountain and be cold! Too early for snow but just a sweater would be nice. Iām looking at snowshoes for later
I continue my mini retreat and I sure like what @Just_Laura has to say! Iām reading a lot of peopleās posts here and really thinking about how I feel good today because of sobriety. I donāt get to feel this way AND drink. This has tripped me up in the past, thinking I can have drinks and still feel good and strong. No, drinking takes the good feelings away. The first sip starts the destruction.
Iām so hungry but itās too hot to cook. Rice cooker to the rescue. I love how it helps you. Maybe easy fish and rice today. I was out watering and now am so lazy! Itās okay to rest. Retreat.
Lots of love and hugs 
Thanks for sharing. Itās important to know that even at day 1328 a f&ckit moment can still pop up. We really do need to stay vigilant and stay connected. Glad you made it to a meeting, glad you had someone there to take you on a walk. Glad your stayed sober. 
A full back piece tattoo with a mandala with a green Tourmaline stone in the centre of it.
Itās not a sobriaty tattoo.
I have also a sobriaty tattoo though. That one I got when I had 2 years of sober time I think. Itās the latin name of a flower named āblauwe knoopā. Because the āblauwe knoopā used to be an organisation with non drinkers only. The presented themselves with a blue āblauwe knoopā flower on their suit ore dress. When someone here doesnāt drink we still use to say " you are from the āblauwe knoopā.
I wanted a sobriaty tattoo nobody recognizes as one. Still very happy with it.
Hope you will find one that suits you too!!
Iām having similar thoughts as @Mno on this one. Yesterday you said you were going to be really careful not to have that first drinkā¦and now youāre feeling good that you were able to 
I felt that way too when I āsuccessfullyā had one drinkā¦but that didnāt last very long. I guess Iām not understanding what the goal is here.
Checking in with 124 days sober. Iāll stay sober today too.
Last night I had to deal with some craziness from my middle schooler. Omg!! 
So glad I was sober.
Looking forward to the weekend with my kids after theyāve been in school for a week. I hope you all have a good day.
Being present in the moment and feeling grounded is what I struggled with most at the beginning of my journey (Day 47 here). I can tell you first hand it gets better!
Youāll be notice the breeze, the taste of food, a good joke, you will be back and you are being so courageous.
Remember to give yourself lots of love and a big hug