Clearyfied some matter with insurance of our house this morning (succesfull), made an appointment at the doctor round here (just to get to know her in first step). Had an appointment at my hairdresser in the morning, lot of fun, old lady (85 sth.) said to me, when finished … Very nice, you can show up as a model now. Wow… She was pretty cool to say that about me with my very short, maybe polarising, haircut
Pool, was tired and lazy during my swim
Ate some takeaway sushi 90 minutes before for lunch. Don’t know, I am so sensitive to food. Should have taken banana and nuts with me. Reminder: keep things basic!
I’m doing alot better. I just had to get moving around and distract myself.
Yes going to be a difficult month, but il be ok il get through it.
It felt good to write it out and appreciate you responding
@Butterflymoonwoman Wow congratulations that’s alot of years of no smoking!!
Reading about your one on one with your HP, I felt this is something I need to do too.
It’s ok to not be okay
I find I always put on a front that I’m fine and it’s … Well … it’s exhausting and drains me.
Thinking of you
Checking in on day 2
My day today was ok, I felt so much better than yesterday! Work is busy as always! Tomorrow I’ll start my shift later, so my plan is to go out for a walk in the morning.
I’ve gotten very addicted to audible and listening to audio books. Listening to an audio book and doing stuff at home at the same time (cleaning, cooking , taking car of my plants), is something that helps me disconnect 100%, and also I don’t mind doing those tasks. I used to hate cooking, now I almost enjoy it! @Butterflymoonwoman congrats on your sober time of no smoking!
Thanks for your kind words, I do appreciate them. Though the truth is, I have been on this forum for quite some time now, and I have managed to add some longer sobriety periods (longest was 7 months), but all over I’m still struggling, and obviously doing something wrong! I have read quit lit, listened to podcasts, watched videos on YouTube about addiction, watched movies about addiction, attended online meetings, been active on here, told everyone close to me that I need to stop, broke contact with certain friends, went to therapy, bla bla… But you know what; I WILL NOT STOP TRYING!
How’s your sober journey going? I hope you’re on day 5 today!
Checking in 953. Feeling some better. I hope I will feel good tomorrow aswell. The mornings and daytime I feel the worst, so tired and no energy.
Back to watching twd. Was not going to before wintertime again. But it gives me this calming feeling safe feeling.
I wish the spin off’s would come to Norway for a long time ago, but Noooo….
@mira_d Oh i’m sorry love. I can’t imagine having to deal with your dad’s family and having plans cancelled at last minute is so wrong. Grateful you were able to visit your aunt and still have a good time. @julialuna YEAH them 3’s are looking so awesome! 11 months tomorrow – yippee! Way to go with your 1 week smoke free too Kicking ass friend. @dresdenlapage Oh that is so flipping frustrating! Sorry that you had to deal with that. These people should not be allowed to run a restaurant where they have others health in their hands Grateful that you are out of there and found something better for yourself. @refreshedperspective So happy to hear that! Glad your friend understood and the two of you had a good catching up dinner together @wahtisnormal SO lovely to see you posting Zoe. Glad you had a good time in Peru and wow – how beautiful that you were able to connect with someone like that. I know its sad having to say goodbye and hard to keep a long distance relationship going. We really don’t know what the future holds for us. One thing is sure that you have opened up your heart to let someone else in. Sending you loads of love my friend. @laner Oh that is so scary to hear about the roads being closed more often than not and the long route it would take to get help if needed. Hope your arm continues to heal and glad you will be getting an x-ray in case Sorry to hear that it is hurting so badly – sending you pain free vibes! Oh man that is a big task – hope you are able to complete or at least get someone to help finish the job at a reasonable rate @butterflymoonwoman Damn that is so unprofessional and rude. Glad that you stood up for yourself and had your voice heard. I am sorry that you had to go through it at all. Hopefully you are able to connect with a different doctor who can actually show up for his /her patients. WOW! 14 years cig free is remarkable! Glad to hear that you were able to openly connect with your HP. What a great feeling of complete surrender. Hope your day was a beautiful one. @sezzy Welcome to the community Sarah! Great work on day 2! The temptations (especially at the beginning can be brutal). Try to find ways to keep yourself busy. Find support and stay connected with your peers as we can not do this on our own. Sending you strength friend. You are among friends here. So much support and great advice here – hope to see you around
Loved this! So happy for you. Hope he is recovering well @wakikki It is fucking hard and you are crushing it! You should be super proud of yourself Hope your doctor’s appointment went well today – did you get any answers? Rewatching TWD eh – love that it is calming for you. Can’t believe the spin offs still aren’t in Norway – wonder what is taking so long!
@mischa84 Oh man those romanticizing thoughts are awful! Funny how we still have times we miss the poison. How we convince ourselves that we had a good time with it. Just cause its dressed up so to speak with flavor – it is still poison. We are so very much better without it. Remember to check in with us if you feel the thoughts getting stronger @mindofsobermike Wow that’s awesome friend – 6 months at work and 9 months sobriety coming up – both should be celebrated. I’m sorry that work is so shit with people not doing what they should and you getting more shoved in your lap. Sounds like your boss isn’t someone who would listen to a complaint either – which really sucks. I hope things improve for you at work. @twizzlers I’m sorry for the episode you had today. Sorry that you are aware of the triggers and will have to continue facing them. So glad the propranolol helped. Remember that drinking will never help you – it will only make the symptoms worse. Glad you did check in here – hope that you are able to connect with someone when these episodes occur — you are not alone @zzz Oh wow – that sucks. Glad you are ok and no one was hurt. Hope you are able to be back on the road without any further delays / issues @juli1 Glad you were able to successfully get the insurance stuff taken care of. Ooh – check you out – Mis Model – i knew it all along. Go on with your bad self Such a beautiful compliment
Checking in on Friday evening
597 days free of alcohol and weed
1012 days free of cigarettes
It has been a super busy day today. Really was hoping for some down time or a nap since I did not sleep well last night but that didn’t happen and it was too late to take a nap when I finally sat down at 4. Feeling overwhelmed, in pain and frustrated by my symptoms but grateful to have done so much despite all of that. Glad I can sit for a minute to relax. It will be a wonderful evening ahead.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day / evening - sending you all so much love
Well I hurt my back at work. And had to leave early. And I won’t be able to go in tomorrow. I haven’t heard from the new place yet. But now I’m worried they will want me to come in over the weekend to get my new schedule
If they do, I won’t be able to go in.
Checking in, day 32. It’s been a pretty good day as usual. I had a long chat with my friend whom I haven’t been in contact for some time. It was so nice to catch up with him. I also took two long walks today in the nature. BUT I had potato chips cravings and I gave in, I bought a bag, ate them and now I’m feeling like shit, haha. But it could be worse. I’m still sober and this feeling makes me so happy and strong. Now I’m off to bed. Have a great day/evening/night ya’ll. I love you, guys. Peace out.
Checking in sober on day 45 Today I had my yearly court date to extend my restraining order. It’s the first court date I’ve shown up to not hungover After all the trauma I’ve experienced, I used to get so nervous for court and all the uncertainty. What if they didn’t extend my restraining order? What if that person who hurt me before could hurt me again?.. I used to drink my anxiety away the night before court and wake up feeling awful the next day. Court would usually go well and I’d celebrate by drinking some more. Not this time! I stayed sober last night and felt more confident than I ever have walking into that court room this morning. Court didn’t move as quickly as expected and I was waiting for almost 6 hours before I was finally seen by the judge. I was cranky and irritable while waiting and I’m not gonna lie, the thought of having a drink crossed my mind. Not necessarily a craving, but a passing thought that I easily pushed out of my mind. At the end of the day I was able to extend my protective order for 2 years! I celebrated with the perfect sober hike with my friend this evening. So proud of myself for staying strong and sober:muscle:t3: and so thankful for this supportive community for being such a safe place
Sending you so much love. You have so much on your plate in every sense - mentally, spiritually, physically and sometimes we moms are EXTREMELY hard on ourselves. We can never rest because there is always more to do, the job is never done and resting or allowing ourselves those moments guilt can creep in. You are doing enough, you are enough and I hope you can breath for yourself today you beautiful soul. Congrats on all those years not smoking. Truly an inspiration I hope to nail that one down soon as well.
Awe ur post is beautiful. Thank u for ur kind words. I absolutely agree that moms (and dads too) are extremely hard on ourselves. As parents there is so much to do.
I needed to read this today hugs
Hope ur doing well
Day 908
Today was better. That prayer last night did amazing things for me I made sure to pray first thing this morning also and then we went about our day. Got a few things done and did some cleaning. I made sure to slow down with everything i did so i didnt feel rushed. It helped to keep me calm and grounded. Grateful for everyone here and for my recovery
Kicking ass friend.
Glad to hear that you were able to openly connect with your HP. What a great feeling of complete surrender. 
After all the trauma I’ve experienced, I used to get so nervous for court and all the uncertainty. What if they didn’t extend my restraining order? What if that person who hurt me before could hurt me again?.. I used to drink my anxiety away the night before court and wake up feeling awful the next day. Court would usually go well and I’d celebrate by drinking some more. Not this time! I stayed sober last night and felt more confident than I ever have walking into that court room this morning. Court didn’t move as quickly as expected and I was waiting for almost 6 hours before I was finally seen by the judge. I was cranky and irritable while waiting and I’m not gonna lie, the thought of having a drink crossed my mind. Not necessarily a craving, but a passing thought that I easily pushed out of my mind. At the end of the day I was able to extend my protective order for 2 years! I celebrated with the perfect sober hike with my friend this evening. So proud of myself for staying strong and sober:muscle:t3: and so thankful for this supportive community for being such a safe place 
I made sure to pray first thing this morning also and then we went about our day. Got a few things done and did some cleaning. I made sure to slow down with everything i did so i didnt feel rushed. It helped to keep me calm and grounded. Grateful for everyone here and for my recovery 