Checking in daily to maintain focus #68

Hey all, checking in on day 1518. I hope everybody has a good one :slightly_smiling_face:

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Congratulations :tada::clap:t2::tada::clap:t2:

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Day 269. Weekend at work, then monday, tuesday, wed off. My new toy should be here Wednesday and im so excited and then off camping with my girls next weekend. One on one with counselor monday which will be nice and hopefully get paperwork ready to get my license back, or try. Going to hang out with heather after work. Super grateful she has come into my life. Much love everyone

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Thank you for your support, Laura! Yes, you are absolutely right. No need to beat myself up. Cravings comes and goes, part of the recovery.

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@Sezzy welcome :blush: congrats on 2 days :tada:
@Mindofsobermike congrats on 6 months at your job, Iā€™m glad you can still say you love it, despite how youā€™re being treated :people_hugging: also happy youā€™ve met someone šŸ©µ
@Twizzlers sorry about yesterdayā€™s episode :people_hugging: I hope youā€™re feeling more grounded by now šŸ©µ
@Timetochange enjoy your week off :blush:
@Butterflymoonwoman congrats on 14 years cigarette-free :tada:
@zzz Iā€™m glad youā€™re okay :raised_hands:t2:
@Scorpn sorry youā€™ve injured your back :pensive: it sounds very painful, sending healing vibes :sparkles::people_hugging:šŸ©µ
@justKaitlin Iā€™m glad you got the extension :raised_hands:t2: and stayed sober through what is usually a triggering experience :clap:t2:
@JuliaLuna congrats on 11 months :tada:

1460 days no alcohol.
925 days no cocaine.
440 days no vape.
13 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

After checking-in here yesterday morning, I read a chapter of my book, meditated, and did my morning routine.

Then I had therapy, it was okay but hard. Towards the end I briefly mentioned the 3 boxes of photos my dad gave me when he cleared out their garage, that have been sitting in the lounge for a few months now, but I hadnā€™t been able to look through yet. Well, after the session, I decided to look through the ā€œsmallestā€ box. Three hours later I was filled with all kinds of awful emotions. I looked so happy before the abuse, especially in photos wifh my mum, who passed away when I was 8. I felt like crying, screaming, punching, kicking, smashing, and ultimately, binge-eating. I canā€™t cry, the other options would scare my cats, and I did not want to binge. I decided to do an extra check-in on the binge-eating thread, and shortly after that, I fell asleep. So all was well.

Today, I attended the online Survivors group, it was, as usual, very wholesome.

At 4pm, it will be 4 years since my last alcoholic drink.

šŸ©µ

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Having feelings for someone who lives in another country and only responds to me for a couple minutes at the same time every night is driving me insane. I continuously have to wait 24 hours to hear from him again. Iā€™ve had much higher standards for myself lately, but for some reason with this guy, its like itā€™s all thrown out the window. The lack of regular communication is really getting on my nerves and makes me want to just forget everything, but i canā€™t help the fact that I still feel so strongly about him. Itā€™s mental torment. It hurts. I mentioned it to him so weā€™ll see what he says, I guess.

Going back to work this morning and not looking forward to it. But thankfully itā€™s a short shift. I donā€™t want to work, I just want to stay in bed and let myself be sad. I donā€™t see my therapist until Wednesday which feels so far away. I really dont feel like I have the strength to deal with any of this. Just going to drift my way through work I guess and hope itā€™s over as soon as possible. Then I get to do it all over again tomorrow.

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This was very beautifully written and I definitely related to it a lot. I find my thoughts are starting to shift towards that same positive and open-minded mindset :blush:

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Have a relaxing time. 4pm 4 years :+1::+1::+1: amazing achievement.

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Wow huge congratulations on 4 years alcohol free! Incredible work friend :slight_smile:

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Thanks Kaitlyn,
Iā€™m glad it spoke to you. Itā€™s been how Iā€™ve been rounding this corner lately. Iā€™m feeling particularly good lately. No great highs and definitely no lows, just been feeling pretty darn good.

Best to you on your journey

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Checking in day 145. Closing in on that 5 month mark then on to half a year!

Enjoy your sunday everyone!

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128 days sober
I woke up early and had a long walk with the dogs. I wanted to go on a hike or ride the horse some but my arm is still sore so took it easy. I borrowed my neighbors donkey and managed to fill my buckets on my own and get them home. In the afternoon I went into town to talk to some people about having my new toilet dug and then built. I found someone who agreed to do the work for 2 sheep. I already bought the materials so hopefully that is one thing I can check of my list.
Tomorrow I will go to the city to get an x-ray. Itā€™s a 6 hour drive so not looking forward to itā€¦but hope to only be there for a day or two. I canā€™t stand going to the city but will enjoy to have a real shower while Iā€™m there. :sweat_smile: And will buy coffee to bring home.

Hope everyone is having a good day and staying sober.

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Day 162

Happy Saturday! Not much happening today, and thatā€™s excellent. Taking it slow. Iā€™m so excited about the future, but staying sober today is all that matters. I feel like this might be my last slow weekend for a while. My life is coming together. Itā€™s amazing. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I think Iā€™m going to be a professional road tripper. :laughing:

Enjoy your sober days. :heart:

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40 years ago today I entered a 21 day outpatient program. ā€œKeep it simple stupidā€ (KISS) still comes to mind today. Working the steps. Finding the right sponsor was key. Going to meetings. Make new friends. Realizing I was not alone in this journey. My first goal was to wake up the next morning. Which is still my main goal today. Every time I look into a mirror I would tell myself ā€œI will not drink today!ā€ I knew my life depended on that. At meetings I listened more that spoke. I can honestly say I have not relapsed. AA saved my military career and my life.

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40 years, wow! So inspiring. :sparkling_heart:

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Huge congrats on your sober time, a massive achievement. Love reading your check ins :sparkling_heart:

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Checking in. Still not feeling it but a little better then earlier in the week.

Preparering for my sons birthday on monday. Familygathering will be next saturday, I hope I will have some energy by then. But birthdays Are important, so it will be cake, presents, balloons on monday. Im suppouse to work evening that monday so my daugther and boyfriend will take him out to eat.

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Day 77

Checking in on this beautiful Saturday morning in Virginia. Coasting right along in my sobriety. One thing that really helps me is having a nightly routine. At the beginning of my journey was making a tea and drinking it every night before bed. Before I would always have a drink to relax and this tea seems to do the same thing. I buy all these hippy dippy herbs like valerian, chamomile, kava, (pretty much anything that is supposed to relax you), and make it into nice hot cuppa. Taste isnā€™t great, but it does the trick. I find myself looking forward to drinking that every night much like I did with the booze.

Anyway, have a great weekend everyone :green_heart:

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Congrats on 40 years sober! Thatā€™s impressive. Inspiring. :trophy::tada:

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