Checking in 3y1m0d. Listening to the birds singing outside the window. Hope everyone has a great day.
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Day #221
Its too hot here +33 C ( around 91 F) 
its hard to sleep without AC 
Last night started new painting (again painting by numbers) this will be the final result.
Its very relaxing to do it.
Since Sunday i had a flu but finally today im good.
Have a great day/evening 
and donāt forget to be proud of yourself that you are sober 
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Day 13. I feel grateful to reach this ground. I know I can fall again, every day, but waking up sober is priceless
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Thank you very much! Good to hear Iām not alone with my fears. Now itās officially day 3, still feeling like shit, but Iām optimistic. I got this!
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Thank you so much for your words! I love this community!
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Checking in on day 403 AFAF.
Iām at the airport seeing off my 15 year old son on a trip to visit his German girlfriend. Itās the first time heās travelled solo and weāre all pretty nervous. Just waiting on his flight to board at the moment. Glad to be doing this sober for sure.
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Hey all, checking in on day 1488. I hope everybody has a good one 
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Checking in on day 364. Sending love and strength to all!
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1 day to goā¦you rocking this Patriciaā¦ looking forward to celebrating your soberversary tomorrow
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Day 1300,
Being grateful has been a hard thing for me. I wanted it to be, but somehow I never could and never seemed to work. However things are shifting in this field, Iām grateful for the friends that came over to watch to semi-final of the European Football championships. Grateful they respected that my house is a alcohol free zone even at such an occasion. Grateful I seem to have friends that donāt mind, it has been a hurdle to invite people over for diner and occasions like thisā¦ā¦
#Progress not perfection#setting boundaries doesnāt mean rejection
Have a good 24, ODAAT
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Jasmine, friend, you are totally invited to my party. Your support and kindness have been such a boost for me on this journey. I am immensely grateful for you!
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@MrsOdh
@acromouse
Thank you very much for the kind words 
Checking out of day 115.
I think Iāve been in my own head the last couple of days and starting to feel a bit undervalued and underappreciated. I need to remember bigger things are happening to others right now. I need to support them as they have me in my times of need.
Focus on what Iām doing and what Iām in control of.
Have a great end of week everyone!
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Day 239. Had a good day off yesterday. Fixed my bike and ordered some new parts, nice new derailleur with clutch, new 8 speed freewheel and shifter and new chain bc this one got bent. Today at work got put where i have zero clue what im doing never been trained here at all. But im ok, ordered a new dirtbike for june bug she should be a happy camper
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Awe thanks friend. I am super excited for you and already have my party hat on ā¦we really do help and support each other and Iām grateful for you and this community 
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89
Just woke up before work. Have 9.5 hours between ny shift last night and my shift this morningā¦ got 3.5 hours of sleep. Havent been to muay thai in like 2 months and I feel really guilty about it. But its always something, and itās always so hard to find the energy. I was planning on going tonight after work but having gotten 3.5 hours of sleep, and with how Iāve been doing latelyā¦ i truly think i need to prioritize sleep and self care in other ways first. I just feel bad.
Had a conversation with my therapist yesterday where I voiced my fear of turning into my mother (mental health-wise). Her state of mind has progressed into something so hopeless and untreatable because of the fact she refuses help. She doesnāt know whats real and whats not, and she hasnt had a job since I was a kid.
The thought that mental health conditions run in families and I could be predisposed to something that Iām not aware of yet, absolutely terrifies me. I started tearing up on the way home from work last night because my therapist said that my future is unknown, but what matters is how I take care of myself in order to help prevent anything from happening. The fact my future is unknown and I could end up equally detached and delusional and unable to maintain any relationships at all, have no friends, and not be able to hold a job, thereās nothing more depressing to think about. Of course I know its not guaranteed to happen. But the fact that Iām predisposed to that happening is honestly gut-wrenching and part of me (now Iām crying) just doesnt know what to do. I could end up being completely fine. Or I could end up doing everything in my power to make sure that doesnt happen, and it still happens. I donāt want my life to turn into nothing.
Therapist mentioned thats another reason why itās important to move out as soon as I can, to move into a calm environment and decrease this stress Iāve always known.
I just want a hug, and to curl up into a ball and go back to sleep.
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Stick with it, you will get to a place where itās not such a battle anymore. Iāve 12 days down and that anxiety is much less than it was. I wonāt lie, there are stressful / upsetting times that can still trigger, but my mindset has changed. I donāt want to lose the sober days Iāve done, now I can āplay the tape forwardā and Iām repulsed by what tomorrow looks like if I give in.
Those better days are ahead, just hang tight. After 2 weeks you should feel more in control. Itās only a small snapshot in time compared to the freedom you will have if you stick with it. You got this, just take one day at a time
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Day 132
Slept a bunch last night. I desperately needed that. 9 hours.
Itās so bright! July 11th. Iām trying not to hate July too much. It canāt help it that it sucks. The heat wears on your body and mind and thereās no end in sight. Let me go embrace that sun and get the poor plants watered! They canāt help themselves but I can.
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Checking in 95 days sober.
Woke up in a bad mood due to a realistic bad dream. Iām having a hard time āshaking it off.ā
The kids and I are headed back home today. Iām sure going to miss being up in the mountains. Itās 116 degrees F at home. Yuck.
Iāll stay sober today, no matter what.
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Checking in. Sober. Just now Im not in a good place. The deathanxiety is all over me. My hart is beating wierd. Lightheaded. My brain does not seem normal and its like my rigth arm is wierd. Im tired, dont want to be me.
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