Ohhhh man. Thank you for sharing this story. You don’t know how much it means to hear such a similar story. I’m so sorry for your childhood. You’re an amazing dude and love seeing you here daily.
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Day 2304 AF. 60 day tobacco free!
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Day 134
All is well 
. See you later on.
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Checking in day 117. A few loose thoughts at the moment. Ignore my ramblings as I’m tired and just getting it out of my head so I can go to sleep.
I’m realising how f’d it was to be disassociated from reality so often. I think this is also the reason I haven’t touched weed since being sober. I like being in control, able to drive, aware of my thoughts and surroundings.
I look at any photos of myself from over 120 days ago and feel like I’m looking at a different person. Knowing that I was in 1 of 3 states… 1. Drunk, 2. Hungover or 3. Guilt mode - over compensating for the mistakes made during the previous night. I would be an extra great dad the next day, or do heaps of yard work, or have the house spotless. All so I felt better about the crap I pulled the previous night, or worse, earning extra points so I feel better about getting really drunk in the night to come.
Currently my biggest challenge is my weight. I am exercising or going to the gym at least twice a week and getting stronger and fitter but I cannot stop the sweets. It’s almost as if the more accepted bad things are, the harder they are to quit. Smoking was hard but I did it. I’m going okay with no alcohol. Why is sweets so hard to kick? All I need to do is just not eat them!
Seems to be so much I want to achieve so I should start a list.
- Stop eating Sweets at night.
- Stop eating take-away food during the day.
- Limit social media to 1 hour per day.
- Go to bed by 10pm each night/have at least 7 hours sleep each night.
I’ve just had a thought while writing this out. I think I’m at a stage in my sobriety where I’m almost fully broken down or disassembled. I’m understanding how bad everything got. I’m learning about what I have to work with and what I need to do to make myself the person I want to be.
I don’t know how to explain the feeling. Like I am trying to put myself back together but I don’t believe I was ever together in the first place. How do you build a Lego set with all the pieces scattered on the floor with no instructions? You know there’s some cool pieces in there and you can make anything you want… but is it the right thing? What if I spend too much time making something that doesn’t end up feeling right and I’ve wasted so much time doing it? I guess so long as im building something that feels right today, without the influence of alcohol, then it can’t be worse than what was built before.
Baby shower tomorrow. Almost didn’t happen because my wife was in hospital last night with high blood pressure. She was able to come home today subject to a couple of extra baby scans and doctor check ups. Also looks like she’ll be getting induced at 39 weeks which is good because I can’t bloody wait to meet my daughter.
Have a good weekend everyone!
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Wow… what a story. Thank u for opening up and sharing!! Youve been through alot, especially in ur childhood 
Im so grateful u found recovery.
Over the past 1000 days of recovery, what all has changed for you since getting sober?
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Congratulations on 60 days free of tobacco! Way to go 
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Thank you! Looking back, i wish I would have kept track the last time. I flew past a year, and didnt acknowledg it. Had i treated it like I should have, a full on addiction, i think I would be closing in on 2 years. Live and learn!
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Tobacco is a really hard addiction to quit. Glad ur keeping track now! You deserve to celebrate these milestones too 
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It is a mutha f@$%÷= to quit!
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@GOKU2019 WOOT WOOT 1000 days! Congrats on your quadruple digits 
@SoberWalker That is beautiful Claudia. I do love the end result 
@laner triple digit 
@jonase Acknowledging that you are slacking on your recovery is a sign to buckle down and get back into the swing of things. It does seem like a chore if you think of it as something you have to do. If possible do things that you enjoy for your recovery and then it may feel more like a normal part of your day that you get to do. If that makes sense. I love coming here but some days i feel off and don’t want to post so i visit the just for fun threads until my mood shifts. I don’t do meetings but am reading quit lit and spend a lot of time on self care. These practices i hope stay with me for life as they are making me a better me. Wish you luck with your journey. Remember to be gentle to yourself as the recovery journey can be a hard road. 
@Bomdhil wishing you a wonderful time on your pilgrimage. Remember we are right with you even when you can’t post. Great work on your counters 
@Thirdmonkey Check you out – 2 months no smoking! Loving you 2304 days as well – keep going strong Scott 
I love this thought process and don’t think any of it would be wasted time as you would continue to learn about yourself. I feel like our whole life is like the building blocks and we are constantly moving pieces around, opening up closed sections and closing off toxic areas …etc. It is a process for sure. Try to live in the moment and enjoy the day to day of it. You are doing amazingly well in your recovery. Keep at it friend - the sweet tooth will be kicked too. Just takes time for us to redefine our new normal. Glad mom and baby are good 
Checking in on Saturday morning
Had to skip the walk as i had to get to the labs to do some bloodwork then it was too hot. I did get in a 40 min swim and then stopped by to spend time with mom. What a lovely bonus as we don’t get our coffee time these days.
Just going with the flow. Hopefully i will get my herbs planted and my cacti / succulents repotted.
Wishing everyone a wonderful addiction free day - sending you all so much love
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Checking in on day
430 no alcohol
361 no vapes or ciggs 70 no form of nicotine
30 no form of marijuanna
Creeping up on 1 year no smoking nic and 1 month no marijuana
I was up st 7am today
Feeling good
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Congratulations friend on ur 30 days of being marijuana free! Great work!!! Have a great day! 
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Checking in with a year and a day. Feels right, feels good. Sending positive thoughts and strength to all. 
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YES! Way to go friend. Congrats on your 1 month of marijuanna freedom
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Day 241. Up and it today, had some really weird dream last night. Was about work and idk in my dream i dont remember everything but i remember putting my keys on the table and saying take care, i think in general i have a little frustration with work and maybe feel like im being stepped on, or like the lazy workers get treated well and the hard workers dont. My boss has never mentioned anything to my about a grace weekend in the 5 months ive been here. We got a new guy who has been here like a month and has already granted him a grace weekend. And yeah idk just in general the environment feels off, but that is life. My worry is actually letting things build up and accidentally exploding. Idk one day at time, and well the 15th will be 8 months so thats something good to look for. Much love
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Day 1302,
Thinking and feeling. Gonna grap pen and paper tonight ( if procrastinating doesn’t kick in), to write down what I want in my life, concerning work, relationships etc. Wrote a message to the working expert who provides my payment if we could have a open conversation. And booked a first test drive on a motorcycle for next week
Time for action 
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100 days sober!!
Today I had guests come for dinner who were visiting from a neighboring country. It was really nice to meet them and have them here for dinner. One of the people here shared about their struggles with alcohol and I also told about mine. It was a good conversation and also encouraging for me.
It was good to be around new people and feel comfortable. Also felt comfortable to be open and myself.
I didn’t work on the workbook today. I needed a day to just let myself process some of what I’m reading. I’m still trying to work out a good schedule for how often to work on it and what to do. Sometimes I just need to play it by ear.
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Congratulations on triple digits!!!
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Congratulations!!! Triple digits is great. You’re putting in hard work and it’s paying off. Sounds like a lovely time with some likeminded people.
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Thank you! Here is to spreading peace and kindness all together
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