Day 6 today. 2nd night of my little holiday. Drinking a cup of tea before going to bed. Wild times
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Had an intense therapy session today. I feel like Iâll never get better. But I wonât entertain those thoughts. I know where that would lead me! Itâs addiction talking. (Oh, why are you bothering, youâll always struggle with this, why suffer⊠fuck it and have a beer. It will make life easier and less painful.) NO!!! âŠif I canât think positively Iâll stop thinking about it.
Itâs just uncomfortable, unfamiliar and scary. Iâm safe. And I have no idea if Iâm doing better or not with trauma stuff. It takes time to unwind this mess. I know that much. I will keep going. Because what if I could be free of it? Sometimes you need to just hold â donât need to change anything, nothing is wrong with what youâre doing, youâre right where youâre supposed to be and all you have to do is what youâve been doing. Keep walking. It is the consistent, daily efforts and not the spectacular, sudden events now. Itâs just different.
Happy to be sober today.
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Day 651
Months ago, before I started medication, I met someone, or no, I met a small group of people.
For a short time period our conversations were deep, interesting and intense.
Now I see those people differently.
They said things that they wanted to do but didnât achieve them.
Because they didnât want to change, they didnât want the hard work that comes with change.
First I didnât even realize that. I thought âWhy arenât you guys happy to see me? What did I do wrong?â
I didnât do anything wrong. This is an old thinking pattern, now I know that.
After a short time of sadness I went back to my calm self.
I went forward, they didnât. Thatâs why weâre not in-sync anymore.
Time to move on.
Have a beautiful sober day friends, stay strong 
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Hello all,
Just checking in. Last day of a really amazing vacation (so one can have a relaxing and awesome vacation with kids PRAISE BE! 
).
I was taken today by some anxiety over my mothers partner. I have had some long standing reservations, not without reason. When i was visiting I heard him berating her over a simple question, swearing and blaming her for him wasting the last 2 and a half years of his life to this âcauseâ - meaning my nephew. He pointedly was telling her everyone has left her but him, I heard him say I wasnt invested. I had only just gone up the stairs and washed my face, and hadnt even put my pjs on and this all started very loudly. My moms house is open, and if I would hear something thats not my business Id put my headphones in but he was yelling loudly and swearing at her, and I thought i might need to intervene.
My fears are around abuse, around my sister and bad men. I know her partner is not a good man, and have know this for a long time but I had never heard that level of vitriol. He has always been very clear my sister and I were not his concern, and he did not want to be involved in our lives or with our children. And how will this end? I am much less a worrier then I used to be, but this feels dark and ugly. I want the dark and ugly shit out of my life, but my mom has been talking to me for over 10 years about leaving him.
I just needed to put this all down, becayse out of nowhere today my stress about this swirled in my headâŠall while on a nice family vacation.
Be well sober friends. And to my dear mind, i love you but thats enough for today. Xo.
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Thanks! Glad to be part of this community!
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So beautifully said, Marie. Warms my to read this wisdom. Thanks for sharing it!
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Thanks for the shout out, Cam.
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So grateful that u worked thru those toxic thoughts. Its that stinkin thinkin that tries to get us to go back to old behaviours. But not today! U really did such a great job at working thru that! And i love what u wrote in ur 2nd paragraph. âSometimes u just need to holdâŠâ love this! Ur EXACTLY where ur supposed to be in this moment 
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Checking in Day 18
I had a very successful shopping day with my cousin. She found the perfect maid of honor dress to wear to my wedding and I finally found the perfect pair of shoes for myself 
We talked a lot about our shared childhood traumas and how it has affected us both as adults. We never opened up about our addictions to each other until today and it was very therapeutic in a way. However, I think it definitely triggered something because I came home and felt some cravings creeping in. I took a cold shower and put on my comfiest clothes. I thought back to 18 days ago when I was in the hospital going through detox. It was so scary and I told myself in that moment that I never wanted to be in that position ever again. So here I am. Sober. Sipping my seltzer water. Content.
I also had to share this picture of the 3 dogs I have the pleasure of dogsitting for the next week 
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2y5m
Today was actually not a bad day overall. I went to work, made some money, came home to cook supper and spend time with the family. Life is good i didnt get around to taking care of the laundry but Ill for sure have to do that tmrw. We need fresh clothes for the upcoming week.
And Im grateful for all the wisdom that is shared here. I love reading others posts! Today I feel connected and whole and apart of. I sometimes dont feel connected to everyone here on TS and I know thats because I sometimes dont put in the effort to comment or engage with others. I do like alot of posts tho lol But I get out of it what I put into it⊠and i want to contribute more. Ive been slacking a bit on recovery related stuff and TS is a huge part of my recovery. So im going to take more time for TS I think in the future.
Anyway, im just putting my son to bed and then going to shower and then im going to enjoy some lemon sorbet Hope everyone has a good night 
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Talking about addictions or past trauma or rehashing memories can trigger me to want my DOC too. Glad u managed thru the cravings and are enjoying ur night. Those dogs are suppppeeeer cute by the way!!!
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Quick check in before the day is over, day 63. Good night/day all.
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Wouldnât it be cool to have a snack and candy exchange 
So many to choose from in America. What are your favorite snacks or candies from your area?
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@Bunto Thanks Iâve always had a bit of a shopping problem. At 18 my parents gave me an ATM card with all the money they saved for me over the years. I spent $9,000 in a matter of months before they noticed and transferred the rest out 
I held off getting a credit card until I absolutely needed one, which was at 27 and pregnant. Then I discovered how easy online shopping was and maxed it out. Took a long time to pay it off. After that, I began looking for better quality items that last.
My sleep is still erratic at times. I hope yours evens out for you
@MrsOdh I think youâd look cute with a pixie I loved having short hair. However, idk if itâs different for curly hair, but I had to wash and style mine everyday 
Gets to be too much after a while.
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Started the afternoon off by attending a 1yoâs birthday party. Not too eventful. Lots of drinking in that family, which was pretty boring to watch. Iâm sure many past parties where I drank were just as lame 
Glad I had to work so I had an excuse to leave early.
Work was a total 180° from yesterday, which was a relief. 150+ covers last night to 15 tonight It gave us a chance to catch up on the little things we neglect during the busy season. We were ready to close by 8:30 but had to wait on the dishwashers so 3 of us sat on the patio looking out over the golf course. Beautiful, quiet, and peaceful 
We saw two deer families (bucks and all) meet up on the 18th green for what looked like a play date with their 4 fawns. Grateful to catch that intimate glimpse into nature
Have a great and sober Sunday everyone
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91
Family is arguing and I also feel guilty
I just want a hug.
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That wouldâve been absolutely lovley.
My favs. Our chocolate is amazing, at least compared to Hersheyâs. My American friends are crazy about a special kind called Daim, itâs hard butterscotch pieces covered in chocolate.
We have also something similar to KitKat buts softer itâs simply called Biscuit (or crackers) chocolate and used to me made in Gothenburg.
Then we have a candy thatâs called Ahlgrens (itâs a soft chewy fruit flavored candy in the shape of cars)
Those have a funny story too, the founder had been in America and fell in love with marshmallows,back home he decided to start making his own. He failed big time, and instead he happened to create on of the most sold candies in Sweden. Ahlgrens. Their slogan is âSwedens best selling carsâ
Bublitz or fizzy bubbles is another favorite itâs chewy candy I think is supposed to taste like fruit. Some people say it tastes like toothpaste bit thereâs no mint in it. Gumdrops of course, also used to be made in Gothenburg.
And then Swedish Fika. Chocolate balls and âvaccumsâ (itâs made of arrac flavored crumbs mixed with sugar,butter, cocoa and sometimes other things too, that creates a dough that you roll onto short oblong pieces, covers with green marzipan and then dip the ends in chocolate)
Which is sometimes sold in the pic and mix candy section as mini sized bites.
For Salty snacks we doesnât have to much flavor to choose from, itâs mostly sour cream flavored, salted, bbw flavored, pepper flavored and Cheese doodles. (I eat the Vegan cheese doodles) We have a brand called Estrella thatâs also made in Gothenburg.
For Christmas we have a special flavored soda called Julmust which basically Translates to Christmas soda
The of course we have a lot of liquorice flavored candies. Salmiak, salty liquorice, sweet liquorice, chocolate and liquorice combinated.
But personally I donât like liquorice at all.
What are your local favorites?
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Checking in⊠1 month!
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My family argues a lot⊠makes me feel horribleâŠ
Sending hugsđ«¶đŒ
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Congratulations @Laner with the 
days! 
Happy holiday @Kareness sounds great (cabin in the woods, walks). Have fun!! 
Heading you way to the days arenât you @Vanessa8 
Here is a virtual one @wahtisnormal 
Sorry I cannot give you a real one.
*Day 2125 
Ok, this day Is going to be a challenge for me.
A challenge for not become stressed out.
Having a party in my house at 15.00 with 20 family members. I hope it fits
As a bit of a control âfreakâ and insecure person my ame is to let go of all the boxes I normally would have like to be ticked.
Today my goal is to keep my cool
Because the world is not going to end if there is dust on the floor somewhere ore when Iâm short in cake ore such.
I can fix most at the end and if not thatâs fine too.
Have a good day ore night TS buddies
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HmmâŠ
My oldest daughters favorites are sour patch kids, and sour belts
My son really loves nachos flavored Doritos
My little one really loves kinder eggs. She calls them chocolate toys
My mother really loves payday candy bars
My sisterâs favorite is Reeseâs
I like baked lays chips
Are âswedish fishâ really from there? Or is it just a made up name? I used to love them as a child, and as a kid I used to love milky way bars
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